botanika Posted July 12, 2011 My analogy was more like holding the knife to a loved one's neck, and it differed from the reality only to the degree that the coercion was evident. Is there a solid line between coercion where it's her responsibility and coercion where it is not? Sorry for snapping at you, I've been a little strung out the last few days. I don't mind being reminded of it, or involved, but the advise grates sometimes. No worries - I'm just trying to fathom how she got herself in such a situation and not move away from it. Anyway you say a lot of good things about her and have conviction in your feelings. Good things will come your way. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
paradox Posted July 13, 2011 but the advise grates sometimes. yeah man this thread is probably haunting you now you feel like it's kinda in the past & you're moving forward.. only you know whats right in your heart dude & either way it turns out, these kind of experiences are what teach us the most about ourselves & our hearts.. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mutant Posted July 13, 2011 good points tripsis and paradox. cheating and being cheated on teaches us about jealousy, anger, egoism, ownership Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Gunter Posted July 13, 2011 cheating and being cheated on teaches us about jealousy, anger, egoism, ownership It is sad that we don't give people autonomy and so many get treated as property. It is as if people do not respect who they say they love. If you love someone how can you not respect their choices and let them do as they will? So many people are full of shit and use emotional black mail, "if you do that or this I will be sad" or "you are ruining my chance to be happy" poor deluded fuckers can't even take responsibility for their own happiness. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
PhoenixSon Posted July 13, 2011 Love is a strange one... All sorts of love attached love religious love Most peopple love people because of the feeling they get from them, ie they make them feel special or loved, quite selfish when you look at it. Some love people unconditionally that they can say goodbye to them because they will know that they will be happy away... Only thing that i can say truthfully is that i love myself. To sheather, hope your both happy. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mutant Posted July 14, 2011 ^^^ good posts both of you Unconditional love is overrated too. Dont get this wrong, it fucking rules, but it's selfish in nature deep down. I am a selfish dude, in general, this last period of time I have been less so and I feel great about this. There is a reward for me in helping people unconditionally... other than that, I believe people [couples] should be able to say alright, I want to fuck this other girl/dude, and i agree it's not a such a big matter - but than again, it always depends on how powerful the couple feels for each other and their self-confidences. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Philocacti Posted July 14, 2011 poor bugger. id get outta there. seems pretty unhealthy. me too, i had this happen to me before. My gf told me that her best friend made her sleep with him by making here feel guilty of something. Then i found out that she slept with him again. Then i found a message from her telling him that she's in a relationship with me because i made her feel guilty about something. So my gf was telling everyone that there is always someone who is making her feel guilty to make her do something she doesn't want to do. She was very manipulative. Thank God it ended. Anyway, i would ditch any cheater even if they had a strong reason for cheating, rape is a totally different story though, but that's just me. Good luck man. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
