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Gunter

why?

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often partners have been groomed and the folliwng honeymoon period where the abusing partner

lavishes the abusee with affection and gifts and promises of it never happening again is another reason people stay.

 

you make a good point there, and i think that many abusers realy think that they will not do it again, but naturaly they will.

i knew a person who sometimes asked me for money, so he could buy alcohol.

sometimes i gave no money, but sometimes i did. after this happening a few times, i knew i would never get the money back, as was promised. so i said, ok i give you a little, and don't worry about giving it back.

this made him so angry, and the only reason for him to do so is total denial.

so at the end, he was aggresive, because how can you say, you will never get it back.

till now, all talk was about relation ships which at least can end, if the go sour, but what about the woman and men who got sexually abused in there families?? many of them, get put down from there own siblings, because they can't believe there father messed around with the daughters.

those people are victimized twice, first by the abuser and than from the family for speaking out about there abuse.

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Could be partly due to the fact that abusive types of men usually surround themselves with equally gutless or even more gutless pricks who don't have the moral fibre to stand up to them and tell them what they are doing is wrong. Their friends just seem to overlook that sort of character flaw somehow.

Abusive men are generally like chameleons in many ways too, they are all charm and seem like "a top bloke" in everyday life but when they get home they turn into someone else.

 

you hit the nail on the head

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archaea

If all you have to add to this thread is that you think it is destructive that shows how much of a contribution you are able to make, thanks a lot for that, I am really proud of people like you who enter threads like that.

I totally lost you

what kind of people am I again? and what exactly did you get from what I said?

[explain yrself, mckay?]

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he was quoting me in the whole post .... :wacko:

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he was quoting me in the whole post .... :wacko:

 

I do believe Archaea was referring specifically to CT's comment that the thread is "somewhat destructive" when he got annoyed. CT perhaps if you'd said more than just that as a first contribution (because nobody but Torsten knows who posi/negatises posts) he might not have got irritated. (I don't mean to butt in, I'm just offering some perspective :) )

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he was quoting me in the whole post .... :wacko:

 

Nothing personal or person specific in my intention, rather I was ranting about how often people join in a topic without actually joining in the topic. It is a sincere gripe of mine that a lot of people have nothing to say and seem to say it anyway.

This topic is one I am very passionate about, I've been around a lot of dysfunctional and unhealthy relationships of many types, I've even been a witness against a close friends of mine who hit his girlfriend, despite the fact that he is among my best friends and I really hated her, and yes she was verbally and emotionally abusive to him, had no loyalty and even tried to burn his house down at one point, but i am not down for the vile-ence.

I have a hard time appreciating some individuals who masquerade as good people, who are anything but. Like a guy who says he would go around and hurt or kill wife beaters, who is himself a wife beater/abuser... fucker should strongly consider that doing what he bragged about wanting to do would mean taking his own pathetic life.

The worst ones are nearly always very soft spoken and diplomatic, they care so much about what others think that they won't be honest, they are too afraid of pissing people off or losing their online friends that they won't ever show their true colors. Yes it is true i fucking hate that shit, I am not out to kiss ass or win friends or manipulate people and pretend they are my friends.

It is disgusting what some people call friends and family these days. People think that image and status is everything, that they have it all if they have just that and nothing else. If you only keep your relationship together out of fear, threats and despair, then don't become a fucking crybaby when your pathetic illusion of a relationship shatters. When it does so, go ahead and get drunk, thinking you are the victim and you lost a everything in losing your chance to abuse, misuse and take for granted another human being, and go ahead and pretend that it was functional because nobody knows better.

The best is when they spout principals, as if they have them, as if having principals means not going case by case and considering each and every situation as unique. Fucking hypocrites abound and we've all got problems.

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firstly: who gives a fuck about the rating system? really? grow up!

secondly: well i find it offensive because i'm soft and quietly spoken yet my ex (female) has punched me (of course i would never lay a hand on anyone, period).

and i assure you its not because of the soft and quietly spoken reason, so check your psych 101 courses please and remember people do exist outside the norm.

i rarely like to talk about things, hence i refuse to respond to questions... its for a reason. Not because i'm violent, its because i cannot be assed.

the people causing a fuss in this thread are probably more likely the "quiet but explosive" people.

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oh oh oh I get it

we are supposed to talk only about severe beatings, blood and killing only. Okey, I admit, its out of my league.

another thing though.

we got a saying in greece.

"tell me who your friend is and I will tell you who you are"

PS: I was the one that negatized Archaea's post

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kids mum: "go on then hit me!" while lashing out with weapons and calling the police who came to find marks on the wrong person for her story ,... I shouldve caved her fucking skull in with a rock but the most I could do was leave and she finished herself off with booze years later , thanks bitch good fucking riddance

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I thank every day since she fuct herself up for the last time , beautiful life returned to me since , while she was alive I was dead. the glee and joy and bliss that she isn't there is phenominal , ..

 

don't give a fuck about your silly op rant , she probably deserved it and poor fucking bloke

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