Addiction, Part 1 of 2

[Yawning Man]

Follows four addicts over a 28 day period at a melbourne rehab center.

http://www.abc.net.au/tv/guide/netw/201007/programs/DO0910H001D2010-07-01T213000.htm

It's on tonight!! 1/7/10

cheers

[PD.]

A Good Night, The Best In A Long Time

A New Friend Turned Me On To An Old Favorite

Nothing Better Than A Dealer Who's High

Be High, Convince Them To Buy

What's My Drug Of Choice?

Well, What Have You Got?

I Don't Go Broke

And I Do It Alot

Seems So Sick To The Hypocrite Norm

Running Their Boring Drills

But We Are An Elite Race Of Our Own

The Stoners, Junkies, And Freaks

Are You Happy? I Am, Man

Content And Fully Aware

Money, Status, Nothing To Me

'Cause Your Life Is Empty And Bare

You Can't Understand A User's Mind

But Try, With Your Books And Degrees

If You Let Yourself Go And Open Your Mind

I'll Bet You'd Be Doing Like Me

And It Ain't So Bad

Say, I Do It Alot!

[Yawning Man]

I like it.

[interbeing]

Go Alice

[incognito]

28 days is nothing.

not a very good depiction of a real rehab.

most addicts will not have dropped their 'masks' in that short timeframe.

thats when the disease really shows its head in its rawest monstrosity.

rehabs aint pretty. nor enertaining. however some real beauty occurs within them, alongside the anguish and internal projections. a rehab with cameras is not rehab.

easy to get all wrapped up in the cameras and action without focussing on the hard work that has to be done inside.

in fact the disease would welcome the distraction.

i really take my hat of to rehab workers who are good at their jobs, and last and do not burn out.

the internal horror that can be projected at them can be horribly debilitating.

addiction loves to attack the people who are helping the addicts to conquer their disease.

learning how to stop the addiction hammering away at the workers psyche is half the battle. it is a nasty, horrific energy, addiction,only seeking to destroy and if u do acknowlege it and pay it attention, it can really fuck you up!!!

as a worker in that particular industry, ive really seen peoples addictions really focus on getting to me, kinda almost like an internal demon, laugh if you will lol. think exorcist almost haha. as opposed to a 23day one ours is 6months, so we really get to run the course of the addiction, and the more i work with people and their addictions the more i see addiction as a destructive energy, a presence, a demon, a disease if you will. its cunning, nasty, uncaring, vicious, a trickster and will play its victim to no end, to have its needs fulfilled and to be fed.

being in the gig im in, im currently starting to FEEL it. the projections. sometimes u can feel the barbs from the addiction like some kind of psychic energy-like lance, that sticks in your soul. ive gotta learn more how to stop the barbs penetrating my own energy field. hippy as that sounds. ill get there with experience. thank god we have one of the best psychologists in aus to debrief with every fortnight, cos i think we would all go nuts lol

havin said that, the best therapy that occurs there happens between the residents, and ive seen some of the most beautiful, human things between reso's. some of the art that comes out of theplace is world class. sometimes u just expect a set of angel wings to bust out of some resos backs with the kindness and wisdom they can just come out with.

but man, addiction is a cruel and nasty thing. a real ahem *cunt*. bent on destruction of its host, and to hurt what it can around it. ive really almost come to see it as a paranormal energy, like an entity. thank fuk none of my peers read this forum lol. its a trickster, and when u are facing it whilst helping a client understand it and see it for what it is, it gets real nasty, seeking to take out the client even further, and distance the client from you.

but yeah i wanna stick with it, high rate of staff burn-out, and really only a 5% success rate of resos finishing the 6month program and staying clean, but yeah im kinda startig to feel it on the inside. much akin to having some real negative energy barbs stuck in your chest. its a weird feeling and its hard to shake. im sure theres medatibve, protective exercises, rituals that may help, but skool wotk, and work leaves not much time to look at this stuff.

but yeah anyways, a real watered down depiction of what rehab is like, and i cant help but see the guys on the show werent really their true selves.

Edited July 1, 2010 by incognito

[Chiral]

Do former addicts make good rehab workers/case managers...?

If so wouldn't they have to have been an addict to a specific drug to work within the parameters of that drugs dependency framework, so as to achieve a higher understanding and knowledge of the subtleties that drug has on each new patient.

I can't see how someone who wasn't say a meth addict, could possibly understand the intricacies of that drugs dependancy and expect to gain entry to the persons mind whom they are trying to help. If anyone tries to tell me that someone with a mountain od psych degrees is more than capable of healing addicts I'm gunna puke...that's not to say these types haven't helped in the past with certain individuals, but more than likely though they have helped softcore/first time addicts who are " good kids from wealthy families " that have gone off the rails cause it's kitsch.

First rule of becoming drug free and cease addictions..the user has to want to stop.

There is a place in an addicts mind that resides between sober and high, this place is where the relentless tempting thoughts to cross back over constantly bombard the sober...neutralizing these thoughts is incredibly difficult, one might consider brain washing to be the only means to eliminate them.

[incognito]

Do former addicts make good rehab workers/case managers...?

sure do.

but we have staff that havent been addicts as well. its a good mix. some addicts seek out the non-addicts. they dont want to id with the scene at all anymore.

way we see it is addiction is addiction.

its treated as a disease.

If so wouldn't they have to have been an addict to a specific drug to work within the parameters of that drugs dependency framework, so as to achieve a higher understanding and knowledge of the subtleties that drug has on each new patient

i dont think so. addictions addiction IMO. kinda the way i see it is akin to a midwife, they dont have had to have given birth to deliver a baby.

First rule of becoming drug free and cease addictions..the user has to want to stop

agreed. being a 6month program deters people lookin for early probation,or to void jail(these r the ones who can generally cause havoc) they shop around for a shorter rehab.

There is a place in an addicts mind that resides between sober and high, this place is where the relentless tempting thoughts to cross back over constantly bombard the sober...neutralizing these thoughts is incredibly difficult, one might consider brain washing to be the only means to eliminate them

ours generally attracts the desperate and peeps more genuinely serious about their recovery.

thats the disease of addiction. i wouldnt say brainwashing, id say more teaching skills that they can manage there addictions and treating reasons that can lay behind the addictions. you cant make anyone give up their addictions. you can walk with them through it, and empower them to be able to make the changes necessary, but brainwashing? wouldnt work.

If anyone tries to tell me that someone with a mountain od psych degrees is more than capable of healing addicts I'm gunna puke...that's not to say these types haven't helped in the past with certain individuals, but more than likely though they have helped softcore/first time addicts who are " good kids from wealthy families " that have gone off the rails cause it's kitsch

id hafto agree. having a piece of paper doesnt mean u an do anything. mot peeps in my course i woudnt let anywhere near people. alot of psychologists, proessionals in this field will tell u the same. becoming qualified, however, does give you structure and a framework to work within, which really fuken helps you and your clients, believe you me.

jumping in willy nilly can cause alot of damage, to yourself and your clients.

woring within a structure and working ALONG (but not necessarily sticking to) industry best practice guidelines does help with harm min, to yourself asa professional and to your clients recovery processes.

Edited July 1, 2010 by incognito

[Chiral]

How would you classify someone who would take years away from addiction on several occasions throughout their life, who lived the clean happy healthy life, yoga meditation, daily exercise and an impeccable diet.. only to return to their drug convictions at random points for no apparent reason, other than simply wanting to get high again because they remembered how it felt and genuinely wanted to get back into it...?

triggers...emotional cues, easily bored or can't find the feelings needed through sobriety.

Once you know how something feels you can't ever forget it.

Edited July 1, 2010 by Chiral

[incognito]

How would you classify someone who would take years away from addiction on several occasions throughout their life, who lived the clean happy healthy life, yoga meditation, daily exercise and an impeccable diet.. only to return to their drug convictions at random points for no apparent reason, other than simply wanting to get high again because they remembered how it felt and genuinely wanted to get back into it...?

as an addict.

[Chiral]

One thing of interest is that certain addictions are almost necessary to curb behavioral patterns...

for instance; a certain individual has a very short temper and is constantly grumpy and moans about everything..their whole family is like this, it's extremely annoying and prevalent throughout siblings and parents. When this person uses they abstain from any negative behavior that is pretty much natural to the individual when sober. The huge irony is that drug taking can be seen as negative behaviour so go figure.

This person feels as long as they have a drug to keep them occupied then their true colors and short temper doesn't get a look in.

Another way around addiction is to see a psychiatrist that understands you, same sex preferably, similar age too if possible, and talk about your addictions, ask if it's possible to obtain a pharmacologically pure version of your drug to assist in relieving you of a lot of the stress involved in seeking out illegal street drugs. Under close supervision you may find that this may indeed lead you in a slightly different direction permanently and allow you to focus more on subtle idiosyncrasies in your behaviour perhaps allowing you to see them better and iron them out if needed.

Addiction can be a persons friend also, if that friend does nothing but make you feel right, it's incredibly difficult to let them go.

[incognito]

goddamn these projections ;P new i shoulda kept this off the boards

PD i play this game all day

Addiction is a load of shit imo

thats pretty much spot on for someone who slips in and out of addiction regularly.

denial. shit thats textbook addiction straight up.

If you consider one who once had a habit and uses now and then an addict then ya doin more harm than good imo, an addict is a daily user, a user than can go no more than the WDs will let them, a user like me. To call a person who has used but abstained for 2 years and used again an addict is just neg reinforcement imo, thru and thru, pos affirmations regardelss of how ghey they may seem to some is better than "yeh man, you an addict, always gon be that way im afraid unless yuo NEVER use again".

i disagree, nesbit *bitchslap with mah pimphand* okay i consider myself an addict. i havent used pot heavily for over 2 years. i have a spliff maybee once every 3 months or so(if that) so yeah you could put me in your bracket. sab camps mainly yet nowing my addiction, and knowing how powerless i am over it, i know i could easily slip back into being a quart a day smoker. at the drop of a hat i could. matter of fact i fuken crave it. im an addict. Knowing im an addict, and knowing my addiction, and admitting to it, which is true, i know the danger of slipping back into old habits. which mind you fucked my life. knowing that, admitting my addiction, prevents my addiction from yeah, being a cunning prick and taking over. i will always have an addiction to ganj to the day i die. knowing and admitting that, knowing what my life was like whilst addicted, and knowing what its like clean, i know which i prefer. but yeah i could take it up tomoz, if i wasnt honest and aware about it.

Addiction is a load of shit imo, are you addicted to oxygen jono? do you REALLY NEED to get out of bed everyday or is it just done because you will feel bad if you dont? ppl use, ppl dont, there is a lil mystery for all tha none users out there to figure out but without the insight of a junkmaster you will never get it

i can hear an addiction now. thats all im hearing, my friend. sorry your so convinced. you can do better PD, and you know it. but yeah heres my ass to kick in the meanwhile weve had this talk a million times, you know what youve got to lose to your addiction, exactly what i lost to mine. i barely survived it, and, my friend, im worried if you will. dont take it for granted. i care for you PD, and your family. sincerely.

bee good, stay clean, play hopscotch!

thats odd.

by no means man am i preaching. like i say i i.d as an addict. ive lost alot to addiction. i understand what its like to be addicted to substances. i empathise.

our clients are at the high end of addiction, they are lookin at death, jail, serious illness if they continue. their lives are unmanageable.

i also know how fucking awesome it is to be free of substances, to be honest i much prefer being clean than 'altered'.

but yeah PD, whatever floats ur boat man. hope u pull urself out of that headspace soon ay.

dont let the addiction win. uve got eyes that look upon you as a god. thats whats real and true man. lose that, and you will learn what true withdrawals are. opiate wd's have nothing on it. u scare the shit outta me when u get like this.

snap out of it

This person feels as long as they have a drug to keep them occupied then their true colors and short temper doesn't get a look in band-aid solution for a behavioral problem slash personality disorder slash mental illness. what happens if the person doesnt have access to the substance in a high stress situation? go mental and shoot the wife and kids? build up tolerance till they are toxified and zombified? both?? could a more permanant and healthy alternative be anger management, CBT, relationship counselling?? sounds very self indulgent. but hey thats addiction for you.

man i should know better than getting into this. im gonna have addictions harpooning me from cyberspace now.. need to erect my wall of healing light now to diflect!!

Addiction is a load of shit imo, are you addicted to oxygen jono? do you REALLY NEED to get out of bed everyday or is it just done because you will feel bad if you dont? ppl use, ppl dont, there is a lil mystery for all tha none users out there to figure out but without the insight of a junkmaster you will never get it

whah.. now ur rambling old boy i certainly dig my 02, you got me umm i dont need to get out of bed everyday, but i certainly like doing shit....wheres this leading??

ppl use ppl dont- yup. theres a lil mystery for all the users out there to figure out, but without insight of a non-user you will never get it.

PD, ive snorted it,shelved it, shot it, smoked it. so fucking what. dont make me fuken mrs.nesbit. shit any deadshit can wack a needle in their arm or swallow a pill or spark a lighter. not much mystery there old friend. i think its alot more admirable to walk around happy within urself without havin to use some shit to make yourself feel good or better.

it can be/is done. but yeah whatever. snap out of it you know what effect ur addiction has on you, and your family, youve told me dozens of times, you know you need to stop. so dont rant on to me with this bullshit that addiction is bullshit. thats really fuken stupid PD, and to me of all people you shouldnt be sprayin that. you know im privvy to it (your situation). only person you are kidding PD is yourself,ultimately and unfortunately. And i do wish you the best, but im not bein your friend by stroking your delusion.

im exiting all discussion in this thread, its gonna get to mental, i shouldnt have commented in the first place.

Edited July 4, 2010 by incognito

[Chiral]

as an addict.

 

geeze, that was enlightening, if I was in your hands at rehab I'd be over the back fence by now hitching a ride back to Dullsville for smoke.

[incognito]

maybee not enlightening, and maybee not what the addict in you wants to hear, but at least truthful.

well if you werent an addict you wouldnt have been there in the first place.

and at least there would be a bed for someone who really wanted to be there

Edited July 1, 2010 by incognito

[Chiral]

We really need a qualified medic on this board...when is Dr Faustus going to be finished with all that studying, soon I hope, then he can get on with treating our receptor irregularities.

[t st tantra]

How would you classify someone who would take years away from addiction on several occasions throughout their life, who lived the clean happy healthy life, yoga meditation, daily exercise and an impeccable diet.. only to return to their drug convictions at random points for no apparent reason, other than simply wanting to get high again because they remembered how it felt and genuinely wanted to get back into it...?

triggers...emotional cues, easily bored or can't find the feelings needed through sobriety.

Once you know how something feels you can't ever forget it.

 

genetics!!!!!not considered enough imho.....i honestly believe some people will be more content as life long addicts!

t s t .

[Chiral]

I honestly believe some people will be more content as life long addicts!

t s t .

 

Agreed, there is a marked difference between functioning lifetime addicts and your off the rails, losing it all, couch surfing junkie IMO.

If these drugs were not illegal then it would be no different to someone who had eating disorders and food addictions, or the millions of women who indulge in chocolate and sweets behind their partners backs, lets not forget the millions of smokers and drinkers who often know they had too many over the weekend and made dicks of themselves, yet can be found in front of the mirror dolling up the very next Friday night, getting themselves ready for another waltz with too much EtOH.

Then there are these people who are addicted to things like Facebook...IMO that shit is the worst addiction I've ever seen.

[nabraxas]

i posted this in the chemistry section, but i think it's relevant here:

http://www.shaman-australis.com/forum/index.php?showtopic=24832

it's a fascinating interview about research into addiction, covering topics like the difference between impulsive & compulsive behaviour, the role ov of dopamine D2 and D3 in addiction, glutamates role in memory retrieval & various treatment options.

[PD.]

soz bout tha deletion, didnt think a ridiculous post like that was really neccesary.

only person you are kidding PD is yourself,

And in this moment of clarity these things i know.

[ref1ect1ons]

Is part of your role drug education incog?, specifically related to hemp?

Edited July 4, 2010 by ref1ect1ons

[Amazonian]

the millions of women who indulge in chocolate and sweets behind their partners backs, .

 

What, you don't like chocolate? (don't men do that too?( more likely alcohol)) Better that, than an affair.

[incognito]

man i gave up smoking by mowing two big blocks of cadbury at brekie ;P

weaned of it as it maes u so sick by the third day

weird thing i experienced when giving up smokes (a month ago) was stomach pains.

i dunno how true it is, but a fella told me its because smoking changes your stomachs acidity to a degree, the pains are the stomach getting back to normal? made sense at the time...

Edited July 5, 2010 by incognito

[ThunderIdeal]

where did i read recently.... that a single durry lowers testosterone by 300% or something? must be all kinds of side effects.

maybe he just forgot what being hungry feels like after all those years smoking? "why do you grumble mr stomach? what is it you want?!"