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Yoghurt vision that inspired a leader

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Annabel Crabb aka "The Stick" has been laying her moniker into Abbott since this kerfuffle started.

This latest piece I just had to share due to the general flavor of the article, but the picture alone is worth every penny.



Last weekend, in the rash of interviews celebrating Tony Abbott's elevation to the Liberal leadership, People Skills was asked the inevitable question about marijuana.

The correct answer to this question, in case you are wondering, has changed over the years.

Once upon a time, it was: "Certainly not, you impertinent wretch. How dare you."

These days, the correct answer - to be supplied with a self-deprecating laugh - is: "Of course! But it didn't do anything for me, I'm afraid!"

And Tony Abbott duly supplied it. But then he went further, adding that on a tour of India on his way to England to take up the Rhodes scholarship, he had once consumed a lassi that was offered as a house speciality, and turned out to be "some sort of hemp yoghurt".

Once this nightmarish concoction kicked in, Mr Abbott recalls, he was "away with the fairies for about 12 hours".

In a life story that is a tapestry of such unlikely anecdotes, this revelation is not irreconcilable with the Tony Abbott we know.

But those missing 12 hours are a story waiting to be told.

Vision splendid

My own theory is that during his travels in yoghurt-land, the young Mr Abbott experienced a vision.

A vision of pyrotechnic luridity, full of strange portent, in which apparitions rose from the dead and the natural order of things appeared in sickening reverse.

Like Coleridge, who dreamed up Kubla Khan in an opium stupor but was prevented from getting it all down on paper by the knock of an unfortunately-timed person from Porlock, Mr Abbott came out of his trance and hastened to Oxford, and the dream was mislaid.

The young man's subsequent spiritual discomfiture is plainly apparent; he spent some time in a seminary and flirted with the Democratic Labor Party before packing his bags for Canberra, to work for Liberal leader John Hewson.

Decades passed, and it was only this week that he was able to give flesh to his vision.

But give it flesh he did, in what became the Great Reshuffle of 2009; a strange and exotic political event to cap off a year of wonders.

The natural order of things was, as predicted in the Yoghurt Vision, wrenchingly inverted.

The National Party, best known for its tendency to regional mendicancy, was magically placed in charge of the kitty, through the installation of Barnaby Joyce as shadow finance minister.

Apparitions rose from the dead just as forseen; the spectral visage of Philip Ruddock, having napped for two years in a casket of loose earth, was once more seen at the table of power.

Kevin Andrews, his lustrous black helmet undimmed by 24 months of being hidden under the stairs, stepped out into the light, suit neatly pressed.

Perhaps the most haunting disinterment was that of Bronwyn Bishop, ushered back into service to look after ageing Australia in tandem with the Senate's stately, raven-haired Connie Fierravanti-Wells; a sort of "Bronnie and Connie Show" sent to remind the oldies that life can be full of surprises, even towards the end.

Even Kevin Rudd seemed haunted by the manifestations, if a little confused.

"Took the boys to the movies last night to see Zombieland," he Twittered the next day (I am not joking about this, by the way).

"Zombieland gives me a whole new perspective on what to watch out for in politics. Boys loved it. I'm not sure."

The cast and characters of the Yoghurt Vision are due in Sydney this morning to gather for their first shadow ministry meeting.

Many are already applauding Mr Abbott's courage and radicalism.

For others, it's all a little too much.

As the great Hunter S Thompson once wrote: "A drug person can learn to cope with things like seeing their dead grandmother crawling up their leg with a knife in her teeth. But no-one should be asked to handle this trip."

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I saw this a couple of days ago and considered it too pitiful to post...why do these people have trouble telling the truth instead of simply admitting that they are human, have curiosities just like any other. Oh that's right they are politicians and can't be seen to be "weak"

I'd have way more respect for these people if just came out and said ..just once...that they actually inhaled, and it felt good or I didn't like it much. All this dodging and blaming others for tricking them just shows what sort of people they really are under those parted hairstyles and Kelly country suits.

Edited by Chiral

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I don't get it Chiral, Abbott did exactly what you want, he admitted to the use and being under the influence of bhang lassi. His story pretty much sounds like most naive lassi drinker stories, no?

Alright alright, I admit it, I only posted the article because of the picture. I wanted to put it as my avatar. If TA really did have the glowing psychedelic halo along with that lost grin all the time I might even vote for him.

Edited by apothecary

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Well i don't know what to say, except I jumped the gun..I thought this was the same story I found the other day in my news bot. This one you have posted has been heavily doctored by the ABC, the story I read the other day was by another media outlet, about a 1/3 as long and told a completely different story...how very bizarre... :blink:

Seriously, this is doing my head in...I have looked and looked and looked through my bot for the original but it no longer exists and I went back a week...someones playing silly buggers here with this story.

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It's a satirical/op ed piece, supposed to be very biased and a bit silly...I wouldn't call it "doctored".

You gun-jumper you! Tony Abbott is my new hero!

Edited by apothecary

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Tony Abbott is my new hero!

Abbot is just an ankle biter, it's Emperor Palpatine/Philip Ruddock who's the Force to be reckoned with...


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