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ballzac

Clerihew competition

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Having recently won the 'guess the cactii competition', it's time for me to pass the baton and start my own competition. As I don't have any plants at the moment, I thought it would be cool to build a pair of brainwave goggles for the prize. I will include shareware software on a CD to run the goggles. The goggles plug into a standard 'D25' parallel port on any PC. I have no idea whether you can use them with a Mac. I made these ones in a way that the LEDs can be replaced, so you can use any colours you like. I will include four standard red, four standard green, and two superbright yellow LEDs. The lead from the goggles is almost three metres long, and can be extended with any printer cable extention. I find these goggles are great for triggering/intensifying hallucinations from psychedelic drugs. A lot of people also use them for relaxation and other purposes.

WARNING: DO NOT USE THESE GOGGLES IF YOU HAVE A FAMILY HISTORY OF EPILEPSY

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I am still yet to paint the goggles black and tidy them up etc. but I thought I should get this out of the way as time can drag on. The finished product should look a little less dodgy.

The competition will be to write a clerihew. A clerihew is a four line poem. The first line rhymes with the second, and the third rhymes with the fourth. Think Limerick without a fifth line...makes it kinda tricky for those who are used to limericks. Here it is on wiki: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Clerihew

Breaking of the rules of the clerihew (apart from the four lines and the rhyming) is encouraged. That is, feel free not to make it biographical. Also feel free to make it satirical, although points will be deducted for rhyming Howard with Coward.

Here's an example of a cheesy one I wrote when I was fifteen, not long after the Thredbo disaster:

He hung on tight

And put up a fight

A man named Stuart Diver

The one and only survivor

Write as many as you like. Be sure to vote. Competition begins immediately and ends this timestamp one week from now.

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If only I had some sort of skill when it came to poetry! Might I ask where you got the idea for these goggles? Any chance of a link to a plan?

Very nice and rather unusual competition! Nice work ballzac! Good luck to all contestants :)

Ahh, what the hell, here goes nothin:

Oh Sally, oh Sally, where art thou?

Seems like a lifetime of searching now...

Maybe some day you'll be mine to grow,

And a cosmos-wandering we shall go :)

How do you like them apples? :P Not as bad as I expected!

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Dreams are colours on painters palets

Smashing snails with wooden mallets

Goldern pinks and scarlet cromes

Please snails leave my fuckin plants alone

Got to be in it to win it ;)

Thanks ballzac cool gogles!

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Those goggles are nuts! Simple but brilliant. Have you used them for inducing Lucid Dreaming at all?

Anyway, here is mine:

My journey began with basic PONG

The gods of classic gaming couldn't be wrong

Now my Multi-game cabinet will bring the adventure to a close

....and play Street Fighter 2 'till blood streams from my nose.

Yes, a gaming tragic.

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Good work so far guys. After the competition is over I will post a link to the fantastic site that I got the plans from...just don't wan't to diminish the incentive to write poetry at this stage :blush:

And no Bongchitis, I think it would require a censor that detects eye movement (REM in particular) to use them for lucid dreaming. A bit too elaborate for my skills/budget.

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...here comes another one not like the other one do do do doot doot doot:

My Ballzac and Noodle are a bit red

My cough and Bongchitis are killing my head

I need a Rev up with or without drugs, that would be Ace

Perhaps down a strangebrew, call medicinedan or a passive prod in the right place.

Disclaimer: Any manky red cocks eluded to above, may or may not be real. No Ballzacs were injured in the writting of this poem.

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Stinking-fisted thought controllers

Little chips inside my molars

Voices won't leave me alone

I'd better have another cone

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Four sexy, naked spuds

in the tub covered in suds

off with my clothes and into the bath

mashed potato aftermath.

....Go spuds.

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Okay, the competition is closed. Due to the small number of entries a vote seems pointless, so I'm just gonna pick one myself. The winner is...Bongchitis, for cleverly integrating forum members' names into the clerihew. Please PM me to recieve your prize. Well done. :)

Good work everyone. I'll be back to post a link to the plans later.

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