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apothecary

Haiku competition

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Haha this is tops... keep them coming! I vote for Bongchitis' haiku about his boss.

This one went on the whiteboard at uni during exam week.... GOOOOO HOLIDAYS!!!!!

Hard pharmacy course

Seven grand per trimester

Expensive bondage

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You guys aren't taking it seriously! Haiku is the ultimate form of poetry.

Taking a single moment and capturing its beauty forever. Each phrase an experience, nature's glory revealed.

Here's one of my faves:

As twilight tolls,

petals fall into the dark stream

revealing its flow

OK I'll have a go:

Bare feet...

on cold stone.

Fuck I need a piss!!!

HA HA Got you that time , Got you GOOD! :P

Edited by twich

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Thanks Ace, yep I'm officially old today :BANGHEAD2: Happy birthday to you too.

Here's one I was inspired to write just now while having a cigarette out the back.

Booming cicadas

singing loud for a mate

stop pissing on me!!!!!

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A rose does but sit,

A thousand cities crumble,

The rose is unstirred.

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You guys aren't taking it seriously!

...

Bare feet...

on cold stone.

Fuck I need a piss!!!

HA HA Got you that time , Got you GOOD! :P

Bare feet is only 2 syllables?

EDIT:

Oops forgot to say:

Due to massive schedule overload (I'm supposed to be on hols!) I am going to have to delay the decision till Monday, so everyone gets an extra day to keep haiku-ing.

Good work so far, I'm enjoying myself thoroughly!

Edited by apothecary

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Bare feet is only 2 syllables?

Yes but the pause goes for three syllables. I thought the 5,3,5 was just convention. My haiku book is full of such unorthodox haikus. eg

Etenity-

in a world so brief, it isn't:

blooming bougainvillea.

OK I'll have another stab, how about

Magic unicorn

in the sky:

sparkles and sunshine.

What do you think? -not too girly?

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Magic unicorn

in the sky:

sparkles and sunshine.

What do you think? -not too girly?

unicorn_detail.jpg

Who cares how girly it is?

Edited by apothecary

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Missed by a bees dick

Ouch that would have hurt

Hot molten metal

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OH well, the secret's out now. Performance enhancers were allowed right? :blush:

Edited by twich

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Yes but the pause goes for three syllables. I thought the 5,3,5 was just convention. My haiku book is full of such unorthodox haikus. eg

Hi. Haikus are a Japanese invention and you'll find that the translations for these really lose the essence of the poem when translated.

They also lose the syllabic structure when translated, which is very strict in the Japanese original.

In the West poetry has always focused more on the 'meter' or 'feet' or metrical feet and usually flows in terms of its meter rather than syllable count. One of the most common meters in English poetry is the 'iamb' which is a weak syllable followed by a strong one. The one you'll hear most about is the 'iambic pentameter' which is basically a sequence of 5 iambs or ten syllables making up a line in verse. Shakespeare amongst others used this meter very commonly.

So Haiku in the West, especially by 'serious' poets has been freer in terms of the syllable count, focussing more on the meter or prosody.

I have tried to keep to the syllable count since apothecary has specified it as a criterion, but most attempts to shoe horn the ideas one has into this syllabic form become less poetry and more like doggerel; and some of mine above are no exception :)

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..............less poetry and more like doggerel; and some of mine above are no exception :)

Don't know about that Sob, I think they are quite good....but that may be more reflective of my skills than yours.

btw, I already have this cut so count me out for votes please. I noticed Oxydiser voted for my prick boss poem....thanks anyway man but it was more a vent than anything!....One more:

Communicator?

Strategic Influencer?

MANIPULATOR!

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And a nice cut it is Bongchitis.

I'm off for the weekend, good luck to all, my vote goes to DOM as it invokes vivid memories (where legal of course :lol: )

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A wind-shivered fruit

contemplates calmly the drop

it falls... slip, flip, splat!

or...

arms reaching through eyes

but can't stop/brake/break the fall,

my god I'm sinking...

:blush:

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It's all too complex,

Finding out who you are,

Do you want sex?

If only it was that easy hahaha

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Though Haiku is fine

I'd much prefer Clerihews

but there was no prize

My vote goes to Dirty Old Man't 'fractal shrapnel' one.

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A cold winters night

A man lies dead on the street

He no longer weeps

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