parzival Posted December 6, 2006 Sky, it is grey, Too old for play, One more j? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
parzival Posted December 6, 2006 SAB forum, I'm missing an hour, Where did it go? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sobriquet Posted December 6, 2006 I'm someone like you writing poems in haiku. Syllabic snafu. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sobriquet Posted December 6, 2006 Website, computer URL typed out in full -- 404 error. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sobriquet Posted December 6, 2006 Is it obvious? -- that this prize of bridgesii is what I desire. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
oxydiser Posted December 6, 2006 Haha this is tops... keep them coming! I vote for Bongchitis' haiku about his boss. This one went on the whiteboard at uni during exam week.... GOOOOO HOLIDAYS!!!!! Hard pharmacy course Seven grand per trimester Expensive bondage Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
twich Posted December 6, 2006 (edited) You guys aren't taking it seriously! Haiku is the ultimate form of poetry. Taking a single moment and capturing its beauty forever. Each phrase an experience, nature's glory revealed. Here's one of my faves: As twilight tolls, petals fall into the dark stream revealing its flow OK I'll have a go: Bare feet... on cold stone. Fuck I need a piss!!! HA HA Got you that time , Got you GOOD! Edited December 6, 2006 by twich Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
tobias Posted December 6, 2006 Thanks Ace, yep I'm officially old today Happy birthday to you too. Here's one I was inspired to write just now while having a cigarette out the back. Booming cicadas singing loud for a mate stop pissing on me!!!!! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
parzival Posted December 7, 2006 A rose does but sit, A thousand cities crumble, The rose is unstirred. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
apothecary Posted December 7, 2006 (edited) You guys aren't taking it seriously! ... Bare feet... on cold stone. Fuck I need a piss!!! HA HA Got you that time , Got you GOOD! Bare feet is only 2 syllables? EDIT: Oops forgot to say: Due to massive schedule overload (I'm supposed to be on hols!) I am going to have to delay the decision till Monday, so everyone gets an extra day to keep haiku-ing. Good work so far, I'm enjoying myself thoroughly! Edited December 7, 2006 by apothecary Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
twich Posted December 7, 2006 Bare feet is only 2 syllables? Yes but the pause goes for three syllables. I thought the 5,3,5 was just convention. My haiku book is full of such unorthodox haikus. eg Etenity- in a world so brief, it isn't: blooming bougainvillea. OK I'll have another stab, how about Magic unicorn in the sky: sparkles and sunshine. What do you think? -not too girly? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
apothecary Posted December 7, 2006 (edited) Magic unicornin the sky: sparkles and sunshine. What do you think? -not too girly? Who cares how girly it is? Edited December 7, 2006 by apothecary Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
naja naja Posted December 7, 2006 Missed by a bees dick Ouch that would have hurt Hot molten metal Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
twich Posted December 7, 2006 (edited) OH well, the secret's out now. Performance enhancers were allowed right? Edited December 7, 2006 by twich Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sobriquet Posted December 7, 2006 Yes but the pause goes for three syllables. I thought the 5,3,5 was just convention. My haiku book is full of such unorthodox haikus. eg Hi. Haikus are a Japanese invention and you'll find that the translations for these really lose the essence of the poem when translated. They also lose the syllabic structure when translated, which is very strict in the Japanese original. In the West poetry has always focused more on the 'meter' or 'feet' or metrical feet and usually flows in terms of its meter rather than syllable count. One of the most common meters in English poetry is the 'iamb' which is a weak syllable followed by a strong one. The one you'll hear most about is the 'iambic pentameter' which is basically a sequence of 5 iambs or ten syllables making up a line in verse. Shakespeare amongst others used this meter very commonly. So Haiku in the West, especially by 'serious' poets has been freer in terms of the syllable count, focussing more on the meter or prosody. I have tried to keep to the syllable count since apothecary has specified it as a criterion, but most attempts to shoe horn the ideas one has into this syllabic form become less poetry and more like doggerel; and some of mine above are no exception Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bongchitis Posted December 8, 2006 ..............less poetry and more like doggerel; and some of mine above are no exception Don't know about that Sob, I think they are quite good....but that may be more reflective of my skills than yours. btw, I already have this cut so count me out for votes please. I noticed Oxydiser voted for my prick boss poem....thanks anyway man but it was more a vent than anything!....One more: Communicator? Strategic Influencer? MANIPULATOR! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sobriquet Posted December 8, 2006 Growing in my pot -- I have no mouth with which I can call out to you. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kenny Blister Posted December 8, 2006 And a nice cut it is Bongchitis. I'm off for the weekend, good luck to all, my vote goes to DOM as it invokes vivid memories (where legal of course ) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
other peoples pubes Posted December 8, 2006 Heres one I wrote for my missus From out of the blue you changed my life forever You're my heart, my soul How soft am I! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
dqd Posted December 8, 2006 A wind-shivered fruit contemplates calmly the drop it falls... slip, flip, splat! or... arms reaching through eyes but can't stop/brake/break the fall, my god I'm sinking... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
thunderbird Posted December 8, 2006 infinite haiku verse breathes within the cracks where we can meet you Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
parzival Posted December 8, 2006 Greater than words, Unfolding paradox, But why is it so? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
parzival Posted December 8, 2006 It's all too complex, Finding out who you are, Do you want sex? If only it was that easy hahaha Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ballzac Posted December 9, 2006 Though Haiku is fine I'd much prefer Clerihews but there was no prize My vote goes to Dirty Old Man't 'fractal shrapnel' one. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ballzac Posted December 9, 2006 A cold winters night A man lies dead on the street He no longer weeps Share this post Link to post Share on other sites