Thought you would never become that guy

[RonnySimulacrum]

Well I went on a break yesterday and in the lunchroom I realized I had forgotten my copy of the ‘Entheogen Review’ I usually read over so I look down at all the magazine that lay there and picked up the IKEA catalogue and read it for the duration of my break. Well I have never personally looked in it before, and have always loathed such things, but time is passing and I find myself changing maybe even mellowing out or god forbid nesting.

So I thought I would start a thread about the things you just never imaged you would do, or be into when you where older. The things you may have loathed when you where an angstey youth that you have offhandedly found yourself doing as you get older?

[wandjina]

heheh....love it, great idea for a thread.

Where do i start?

OK, top of the list in the embarrasment stakes....online dating. yep. never thought I'd stoop so mainstream.

Fortunately, by comparison to what's 'out there', it would seem i remain relatively freaky.

And yeah, i can relate to the whole catalogue thing...sometimes I catch myself fantasising about white goods and new fangled appliances. 'I know it has a 2 year warranty...but will it shred bark?'

Living in the big smoke...never thought i'd do that again.

Plucking my eyebrows....oh lordy...not in my worst nightmares did the dread-locked tipi-dwelling me think I'd buy into that, but here i am!

[Pelinster]

Ok, here goes!

If we rewind back to about 1997 when I was 18, the list would be:

I will not live past 21 - Yep, I definitely got past 21. My original plan was to live so fast that I was all burned out by then and subsequently dead.

I will never quit smoking weed - Done that a few times now, doubt I will ever take it back up again due to the side effects.

I will never work a 9 - 5 job - Yep worked more than a few now. Now I run my own business, but that is more so I don't have to work 9 - 5, so I might be regressing.

I will never waste the best years of my life striving to simply own my own home - Haven't reneged on this one yet, but I am sure if I was 'economically viable' I would be pretty quick to grab a nice chunk of land somewhere so I could at least have my own garden!

I will never abide by any other laws than my own - Well, I definitely have a new perspective on this. Whilst I only truly feel the boundaries of my own laws, I do respect the outcomes associated with breaking 'the man's laws'.

I will never be ordinary - hahah, still not ordinary! Muhahaha

I will only ever listen to and play Heavy Metal!! - Well, I do listen to a lot more than just Heavy Metal these days (like Progressive Metal, Death Metal, Metalcore, etc.. ) - but seriously when I was at EGA I was doing the 'Well I never would have expected this' thing about the time I was standing around the edge of Krusty's Dance Workshop.

Oh, and I would still never be seen dead picking up a fucking IKEA catalogue!!

Edited September 16, 2006 by Pelinster

[Leo^]

I was sure Id never get fat

[faustus]

becoming materialistic -- i never thought i'd be the type that would fantasise about possessions or care about money, etc, but i find myself becoming more and more materialistic these days. my rationale is that if all things are fleeting, how is the temporary gratification that material things offer any less valid than the temporary gratification that non-tangible things can provide? guess i've concluded that if i can't find happiness in more meaningful ways, then i settle for a lesser variety through superficial means.

[RonnySimulacrum]

Jetseting around the country several times a year helping set up big box retail stores

[Darklight]

The things you may have loathed when you where an angstey youth that you have offhandedly found yourself doing as you get older?

This is definitely the best thread I've seen for a while IMO, at least it's been on what is often referred to as my mind lately- the strange places where life ends up taking you.

Practically everything I'm doing now was something I had disdain for in my angstey youth ( such a lovely phrase ) but frankly if I met myself twenty years ago I'd give myself a good slap around the head and tell myself to wake up.

Such temporary delusions have included:

At 13: I'm never going to eat bloody green veggies, they taste like shit ( OK I hung onto that one til I was in my 30's )

At 15: I won't ever study science, its a narrow way to understand the world and it blinds people to other realities ( that one lasted until I was 28 )

At 17: I'm never working in a straight job again, it fucks with your head ( I think this one lasted until I was 28, with brief patches of temp employment to pay big bills )

At 17. I will never buy a motorcycle larger than the 125cc I already own: its not necessary. ( well that lasted about three years )

At 17: I'm never going to stop smoking pot ( I got bored with it at 22 but I'd coned myself into oblivion for several years so it was more a matter of intensity than time )

At 20: I really could never be in a monogamous relationship ( that one managed to hang in until I was 37 )

At 20: I'm never going to live in a conventional house again, it's too heavy on natural resource useage ( I didn't hang onto that for more than three years, f*n love electricity, floors and running water. The house is still far from conventional though )

and so on and so on until..

At 39: I'm never going to learn to drive a car. Car driving encourages people to be careless with other's safety.

All terribly admirable I'm sure. But the one thing I've always wanted to do was to learn more about plants, and doing this has led directly or indirectly to errr. what's the word? Depends on context I suppose. Compromise, sell out, justify changes, be constantly astounded where life has taken me when I look back, enjoy the ride, go easy on other people, and laugh a lot more. And I'd still like to know more about plants- they're amazing!

I've never looked at an IKEA catalogue though. I do like some catalogues- you know you're a committed ethnobotanist when the pages of your Sigma catalogue stick together

The way I've looked at catalogues has changed over the years- I used to view furniture and whitegoods catalogues like an alien might look at remnant earth technology- their existence, distribution and layout were as indicative of social structure as any other artefact. Somewhere in there I changed and looked at them as something to make choices from to fill up the house I moved into. Now I look at them with amusement cos they're full of wildly similar stuff I don't want and can't understand how anyone finds them interesting. Except for Sigma catalogues of course

Edited September 17, 2006 by Darklight

[Torsten]

I like IKEA catalogs. Ikea produces furniture that is perfect for young people who move house every 6 months and need to be able to pack it all in the back of a hatchback. It is (was??) mostly made of pine which is an environmentally friendly option. Sadly over the last decade IKEA has become a junk shop full of crap you never need. I prefer the old IKEA where it was just affordable, modular furniture.

re things I never wanted to become? Being the lankiest and skinniest kid in school I never thought I'd be battling the bulge. I also never thought I'd be stuck behind a desk for most of the day. I presume the two are connected.

I was always a happy drunk - till about age 30. It was incomprehensible to me why people would get aggressive on alcohol. Never thought that aggression would become a reason for me to stop drinking alcohol.

And worst of all, while I was school age I was VERY straight. I even dobbed in my mates for smoking pot because I thought I was doing them a favour. Ummm, a few years later I turned into a drug hoover and then started SAB

[_e_]

AHHH scandanvian sophistication and practicality

In the land of IKEA it seems i too have fallen trap to the seducing beauty of simple yet stylish household convenience.

But answering the bigger questions this thread poses.

I too have found myself appreciating and longing for things that when i was a teen were to my utter disgust and loathing.

The words of elder western types ring in my ears "you will mature one day and appreciate things you never thought you would with the changing perspective you acquire with life experience"

Oh how these sorts of interactions used to set my teen angst on overdrive!

1- comfortability and stability

When i was a teen comfortability and stability were to me a sign of complacency and 'giving in and selling out'. But these days its all i want.

To be comfortable on a physical level is a luxury for me, and hence ive been striving to find things that make me comfortable. Things like spas/hot tubs and effective heat creams are far more interesting to me then i ever thought possible, and i spend a lot more time in a spa or getting a massage then i do doing more 'out there' things.

Stability is becomming more and more seductive the older i get. All i want now is a HOME not a house and a day to day routine that actually involves me doing something concerted over a long period of time.

I actually have a lust to be productive, whereas when i was young it was all about creativity not productivity... I seem to have balanced the two "be creative in your creation of practical and necessary things"

2- classical music and electronic music

I never ever thought i would come to appreciate classical music.

Maybe it stimulates the right kind of brain wave activity these days, or my ears have matured or something, but i am more then happy to lend my being to classical music.

Also, up until i was about 17, i thought electronic music was a souless travesty involving no skill or real musical ability.

I remember a friends older sister telling me she used to sit up and listen to 'mix up' on jjj. I remember my reaction was that "one day she will become some druggy feral lost in space listening to souless repetitive synthetic crap".. hehehehehe

3- VOLVO's

mate, if i ever thought i would have enjoyed driving volvos i would have dyed my hair blue and gone to bingo. But these days i can appreciate the scandanavian design, even when it means driving a volvo is actually an enjoyable experience.

4-Weed is a drug!

A realisation that was necessary but absent until i saw just how damagin weed can be on a social, psychological and emotional level to those whom use it as a drug rather then a medicine.

For 5 years i bought into the whole 'harmless, natural and fun' thing.

These days i recognise that the humanising of the plant and the extention of western abusive and addictive behaviour can see a wonder plant become green heroin.

I also see that the predominating attitudes and energetics of most dope smokers in our society is caught up in a stagnant state, not free and liberated as one would hope.

Edited September 18, 2006 by ({E})

[apothecary]

I never thought I'd place any faith in something like the concept of a chakra, let alone many of them!

[Leo^]

From Darklight: At 17. I will never buy a motorcycle larger than the 125cc I already own: its not necessary. ( well that lasted about three years )

Im so glad youve seen the light! louder bigger bikes are much safer and a more intelligent choice. Although if you ride a japanese bike you still have some learning to do

[RonnySimulacrum]

I've never looked at an IKEA catalogue though. I do like some catalogues- you know you're a committed ethnobotanist when the pages of your Sigma catalogue stick together

Gold - you little wicked chemical deviant

I like IKEA catalogs. Ikea produces furniture that is perfect for young people who move house every 6 months and need to be able to pack it all in the back of a hatchback.

Ok, I confess, I pilfered the catalogue from the lunchroom because it is helping me with my dreamy nesting disorder of late

3- VOLVO's

mate, if i ever thought i would have enjoyed driving volvos i would have dyed my hair blue and gone to bingo. But these days i can appreciate the scandanavian design, even when it means driving a volvo is actually an enjoyable experience

Ok well you lost me here, E you soft cock

Good to see it is not just me having these personality glitches

[stonewolf]

At 19 i dont really have alot to add on this topic, but I do have plenty of thinks I cant see happening. I can see myself owning a car for a long time. I'm just not that into cars. I cant see myself in a long term relationship, i really dont think im cut out for more a casual root, commiting wont happen for me. I cqnt see myself finishing uni, im too up in the air about what i want to do.

[Darklight]

Although if you ride a japanese bike you still have some learning to do

Yah, dunno, I'd rather see someone out everyday ringing the neck off some plastic rocket than listen to people spruiking about the youbeaut bike they've always got parked back at home. I never thought I'd say that either, fuck I got mellow somehow

and in the lunchroom I realized I had forgotten my copy of the ‘Entheogen Review

Well Ronny what can I say? You can't have strayed so far from the path if you take TER to work, you legend!

[Tripitaka]

In my early twenties all I could think of was a Bohemian lifestyle and opted out of a well paid job to study art. Im glad that I did this and have grown immensely as a result of being true to what I believe in.

These days (knocking on the 30 door) my Boheme inclinations have well and truly worn off and I crave having a place where I can live for longer than 10 months. It has been around ten years since this was the case.

I am also finding myself increasingly wanting large amounts of money i order to fund the lifestyle I have chosen, travel, meaningful possessions, etc. Being a self imposed tighwad for such a long time has run its course and I feel ready to reap the spoils of capitalism with the rest the IKEA crew.

Also have noticed how my attitude towards relationships have changed. I used to be easy going and tolerant of partners issues, but after being the emotional whipping boy in two destructive relationships I have turned 180 and get very defensive when I am used to dump emotions on particularly when other peoples issues are projected onto me.

Having said that I used to be attracted to alternate girls but now find that the idea of being with a straighty 180 pretty damn appealing. Whether this will work out in reality I dont know. Ask me in another 5 years.

What would you trade for your IKEA catalogue Ronny?? I have some nice fluffy slippers and a pipe!

[puffingfish]

I found when I was younger I was too eager to share my opinions about things such as politics and religion etc . These days however, I actually try and not get involved in these types of debates with people unless I can tell they are genuinely interested in having a discussion.

When I say 'people' I mean the general public, people at work and also family.

In short I guess I care less about people seeing MY point of view.

It's easier that way and life goes on anyway. Ahhh the mellowness of age

[Auntyjack]

I never thought I would own a 7 seater van with really good cup holders and a place to put yur sunnies when I was 19.

After gobbling acid for three years on a nearly daily basis and wishing I could have been there when Pink Flyod recorded 'Uma Gumma' I now have 4 HEALTHY kids - genetic mutations my ass (although this worried me for many years)

I really thought the anarchist cook book had legit TEKS when I was 19.

I always thought I would be true to my desires and live a permaculture life, goat, chooks and one wicked firgin garden - while plating daisy chains and selling them to tourists for the items this life couldn't provide - now I run a construction company, work 12 hrs a day, do cash forecasting and base my work choices on the mighty dollar, and have 30 employees that rely one me maintaining this sell out....and also now I fork out 650 clams a week for my ex to have the life I wanted.

I never thought I would own or appreciate a golden cocker spaniel - but it turns out he's a fukin legend.

I never thought I would stop smoking pot...it was my right. (but apparently thats not all there is to the decision)

I always thought I would actually work out what I wanted in life.....nahh pipe dreams

narrhhha....whatta ya know eh?

AJ

PS....IKEA is still crap any way you look at it!!

Edited May 24, 2007 by Auntyjack

[jasemateau]

when i was a kid i'd never take drugs,smoke ciggy's

TRIED almost all of them

still smoke ciggys after quiting many times once for 5 years but started again doh

never understood my stupid people pro create, now i get the idea of having children. put i'm still not sure why stupid people are allowed to pro create.

oooo thats gunna hit a nerve with some but hey i was young dumb and full of cum.....

never wanted to become a father until i was finacily secure, still not a father siply coz i dont feel financly secure.

but wondering gezzz i'm gunna be 5 odd when my child turns 21 already hmmm dunno how i gunna handle that.

never wanted to become a cafe reacer (dudes that hang out at cafes with there big bikes going from cafe to cafe, not really enjoying the pleasure of riding.

still not a cafe racer!!!! damn proud of that!!!

its thought one tho, i cant remember much of my old NEVER GUNNA BE"S

but i know i've broken a few.

its like carl barron says oooooooo tea. lets have another cup of tea lol

for the record iv'e ways enjoied some but not all of the stuff in ikea, true now they do have alot of none funtional shite you can use only once.

[ayjay101]

Wow, I'm really excited to read all of this as it re-iterates my own thoughts of the last year or so.

I'm discovering that life is transcendence. In the past I have said never to a lot of the things that define me today. Eg: drugs, electronic music, marriage, owning a home, kids, working life, social/political views, religion and so on. Yet these things have twisted around in ways that I could never have anticipated. The great thing is, as I move on from one thing to the next, I don't lose what I was previously, but just gain the new experiences the that changes bring. I can appreciate and empathise a wider mix of other's opinions because of this.

I have learned to never say never again and am also reaching the point where I have NO POINT OF VIEW on anything. I observe ppl around me holding on to beliefs so strongly, yet I see how that view can change so easily based on experience. These beliefs are usually inherited or regurgitated form elsewhere.

Psychedelics really beat down any degree of certainty you may have about the universe to the point you realise that it's foolish to claim that you know something for sure. All we have to go on is what we have mentally created for ourselves, which may or may not be true or even relevant tomorrow! All is fluid. To quote Terrence: 'Everything changes. Nothing lasts, but nothing is lost.'

The sad thing is that as I get older I find I'm having less and less to say, which makes me somewhat of a mute bore.

[Vertmorpheus]

I never thought I'd have a child... not that I ended up planning to, but I wouldn't give her back for anything

I never thought I'd be a "good" dad... but I seem to be... worry about that one a fair bit though.

I never thought I'd have all the adult concept things...life insurance, comprehensive auto, wills, bills, aches and ills.

I never thought I'd work 9-5 either... now I work 7 - 430 haha, outdoors rain or shine. Was touching zero this morning down in the gully... bracing! (very scandinavian!)

I never thought I'd drive a large car (not that I bought this one, but I love it now)

I never thought I'd become vegetarian again.

I never thought I'd renew my taste for whiny goth music, but it happens.

I never thought I'd stop reading books in bed til 3am... lucky to finish a page these days!

I never thought I'd own a big meaty dog, always more of a cat person... but then I ended up with a daughter, it would be weird of me to bite her future wooers on the arse but its ok for boofhead ;)

I never thought I'd be with the one person for more than a year... going on 6 years now! Might even get married someday haha.

I never thought I'd be able to walk past a bookshop without stopping...see Reading, above

I never thought I'd find so many likeminded greenfreaks, lurking away throughout unsuspecting mainstream australia haha.

I never thought I'd drive like a nanna... but physics has made its grim reality known to me a few times now...

I never thought I'd do something so physical for a living... more of a gentle walker than a grunting labourer, but somehow that happened too.

I never thought I'd be smoking ciggie past 21... one of these days eh? It's those ads, they stress me out I tells ya.

I never thought I'd live in legoland....

I never thought I'd find someone that can love me for me, all of me, without it being some twisted hero worship scenario... as I said, nearly 6 years now! And we met online, so whoever said theyd never use online dating, dont feel so bad... though we met in some crazy religion room in yahell, so maybe it's different

I never thought that despite ALL that, I am remarkably similar to the person I always have been, and I suspect always will be.

nice thread! lets all get on the gin and cry ourselves to sleep and IKEA is crap. Give me real furniture, made of wood (just wood, no coatings) that isn't held together with bodgy tek screws.But then I got over buying hundred dollar shirts too ,well, 3/4 of the time anyway ;)

Oh , I never thought I'd cut my hair short again either... and I haven't! Hairy for 11 years now, wouldn't be without it :D

GD

[ThunderIdeal]

all those teenage years of sitting at a computer on my lower back with my feet up, i never thought my back would be half-rooted before my mid twenties.

[RonnySimulacrum]

What would you trade for your IKEA catalogue Ronny?? I have some nice fluffy slippers and a pipe!

Your plant Stall