Rabaelthazar

Yeah, this is that same recurring theme. I've been there, you've been there, probably a lot of people on this site have been somewhere similar. The more I think about it, the more I think that this is the reality. Looking forward to finding out for sure one day.

I had an odd dream last night and the following is what happened in that dream. It was an odd experience for me and I just want to share it, get it out there to help me integrate it. Any feedback, positive or negative, is welcome. In my dream, I was at home on a Monday night. I was to start a new job in a week's time and had a few days holiday. In the new job, I would have to be somewhat more responsible and, as such, would not have a chance to explore other realms for a while, so I wanted to have a final meal of mushrooms. In my dream, I measured out just over 2 grams of subs, which is normally plenty for me to have a meaningful experience. I ate them and started getting ready to curl up in bed. I did some stretches, ate a little light food and sat on the couch for a little while. The experience began and I cleaned my teeth and sat down on the toilet. While I was sitting, the mushrooms started singing for me (this happens nearly every time I indulge... what I perceive to be the mushroom spirits perform a symphony of the most beautiful, other-wordly music. Very percussive, with deep resonant drones and clicks in true surround sound). This is always one of my favourite times, but in my dream, as the music built, I said "I want to get comfy for this" and stood up and went into the bedroom. In hindsight, I feel as though I walked out on a conversation. Anyway, I got into bed and the open eye visuals progressed, as they do, into closed eye visuals. Normally I feel as though these closed eye visuals are coming straight into my mind and take me over. In my dream, however, they didn't come straight into my mind. It felt as though they were occurring about a foot to the left of my head. They became quite beautiful, but it was like they were happening to somebody else. Over about five minutes, they had left me behind and gone elsewhere completely. I felt a little bit hurt by this, as though the mushrooms were offended by me walking out on the earlier conversation. Anyway, again the open eyed visuals progressed into closed eye visuals and I thanked the mushrooms for coming back to give me a second chance, but again over about five minutes, and through a sequence they had left me. At this point, I was very sober and less than an hour after ingestion. I was quite saddened by what seemed like the mushrooms not wanting to play with me. I waited a while and there was no change. At this point in my dream, I sort of had a stand off with the mushrooms and challenged them by eating quite a few more from a different patch (I didn't measure, but it was probably about 20 or so small shrooms from my first picking of the year). This time, the shrooms were more than happy to play and I had a very deep experience. The first major thing that happened was that I was underground, underneath a tree and I realized that I was part of a mycelium network. I was part of the whole and we worked together to grow and to fruit. It was very comfortable, like being part of a really homogenous family unit. The work was hard but natural and we all benefited from our labours. Next, I was a small mammal, just born in a litter and very comfortable among my brothers and sisters. Very happy, like a hamster or something. Then, I was a baby bird, waiting for my mother to bring me a worm. I was very weak and needed sustenance badly. My mother didn't come and I realized I was going to die in the nest. This went on for what seemed like a very long time. I think I died. Then I was a mollusk. This was very strange, but also very informative. I have a new respect for snails and slugs after this dream. Finally, I was a human and I realized that it was just like it was when I had been part of the mycelium network. We were all connected in the same way and I thought long and hard about how we could be working better together in family, community and globally the way we had when we were under the tree. From there, I sort of fell asleep and woke up a few hours later. I was now sober and got up to get a drink and something to eat. This is where things got strange. Although my mind was lucid and my vision was static, I had absolutely no depth perception, even closing one eye couldn't help me judge the distance between the water jug and my glass. Then, while chewing some sultanas, my mouth started to "slow down" somehow. Next thing I know, one set of muscles in my jaw becomes totally useless. I tried to swill some water and my left-right motion was ok, but I had absolutely no power over my back forward motion. I've heard of people experiencing paralysis on psilocybin before, but I've never had it happen to me. If I hadn't heard about it, I would have been freaking out. I could talk normally, but couldn't spit, couldn't eat, couldn't hold anything in my mouth. Went to sleep then and woke up in the morning, still with the mouth paralysis. It went away but then came back several times throughout the morning. On top of that, for a brief period I couldn't operate my thumbs. Pretty weird, and a little disconcerting. By lunchtime, everything was back to normal. Popped out to my usual patch that the original shrooms were from to make peace after our "misunderstanding" from early in the night. We're back on good terms now. All in all, this was a fantastic experience. I haven't had such strong "We are all one" experiences in probably about ten years. The experience of "being" the different animals was utterly enlightening. Not so sure about wanting to experience the paralysis again. Thanks for reading. Good thing it was all just a dream, eh? Please, hands up if you can relate to this post.

Thanks YM, the more I get to know this ally, the more respect I have. Sweet. Geez! I feel lucky now! Yeah, it's a real two way relationship, isn't it? Man, there's some crazy intelligence under the ground. Lucid, nice. Yeah, dreams have always been important for me. They're everybody's internal entheogen. I found when I was smoking a lot of pot (I hardly smoke at all these days) my dream recollection was like trying to remember through a frosted window. I'd wake up, get inches from recollection and then *poof* it was gone. Good on you for quitting the 'erb.

An old doco about the egyptian pyramids. Some of the points are now considered disproved, but still a good watch if you're into this sort of thing. Bugger! I still can't figure out how to embed. Can anyone help?

Thanks Amazonian. Yeah, it was all good except for that part. I don't wish that on anyone. I'd be really curious to know why the paralysis happens. I've heard of a few other people who've had it, some much worse than my experience by the sounds of it. Seems to be fully reversible, but it makes you wonder. There was a moment in there where I entertained the idea of being unable to use my mouth properly ever again. Is that just another experience the shrooms are intending to show us? Is it purely cerebral, or it a physical thing? Is there some other chemical in subs that causes the issue? No idea.

Thanks Thunder, I totally agree with that... open eyed visuals are beautiful and amazing, but it sort of stops there. Further on from that is a whole experience, going to different places, splitting into multiple entities, etc... I think The Dude made a similar comment about this in another thread recently. I really don't know. I dreamed that I ate what was in the bag, deliberately choosing a bag not from my usual patch. I haven't weighed or counted that particular bag since I picked them at the start of May. Could've been 3g, could have been more. I think I know what you mean by this too. I find tilting my head, especially with eyes open, seems to create multiple horizons that are independent of each other. Things that would normally appear 2d in your vision will bend toward you and backwards towards infinity. This time was a bit different for me though. With closed eyes, everything was happening separate from me. It's sort of hard to describe, but it really felt like I was excluded from my own experience. Thanks for reading and your input.

Good read, Hutch, although I found the author's arrogance about the uniqueness of her experience a bit off-putting.

Jogging

No problemo Keep us updated if you do.

Hiya VelvetSiren, I've had a play through. I liked the vibe of it. Personally, I would have liked a little more rhythmic variation and perhaps some modulation, but I get the feeling that the lack of such is what you were aiming for artistically, based on your original post. You've certainly caught that asian feel. There were a few points where I really wanted to play F#s instead of the written Fs, particularly towards the end of the piece, umm... bar 29 for example, but after a couple of play-throughs, I found the F natural to sound "right". From a playing perspective, how are you intending those seventh + octave chords to be played? I found myself playing the seventh in my left hand and doubling the octave with my right. Felt a little odd, but I haven't met anyone who can quite make that stretch. I liked the change in time signature and I particularly liked the section at the top of the fourth page. From a harmonic viewpoint, I didn't like bar 11. Almost all the chords in the rest of the piece were cluster type chords and bar 11 seemed to stand out as harmonically weak. I think because the three chords are really only 2 note chords, doubled. Instead of just running parallel, perhaps you could explore some different voicing in the last of the three chords. Also, if this type of chord were repeated elsewhere in the piece, it would sit more comfortably in the bigger picture. All in all, nice feel. As I was playing, I could hear Asian flutes and Geishas playing their plucky lyre things next to me in the living room (unfortunately, when I turned around the Geisha was gone). My only real criticism is the harmony at bar 11 I mentioned above. Thanks for sharing.

Man, I can totally relate to this. Thankfully, I haven't felt this way in a long, long time. I remember I used to walk home each day across a bridge over my local creek. I was sure that if I climbed over the edge I would fall through the earth and keep falling, passing through the mass of the planet and eventually come out the other side and fall for eternity through space. Thankfully, I never actually tested the theory because in hindsight, I probably would have ended up a crumpled mess on the rocks below. Having said that... who knows, maybe I would have passed through the earth. At the same time, I felt that it was likely that I was living out a dream from a coma state. I kept trying to remember the accident I'd had that had put me into a coma in the first place so that I could wake up and see reality. Needless to say, I never woke up so either I didn't have the accident or I'm still in the coma now. Man, my only advice is don't test these theories out. What I said in my last post was irresponsible. I can see you're having a bit of a hard time with this stuff at the moment and just keep in mind that your life (whatever it is, be it dream, reality, illusion, deception) is precious. Sometimes it can feel like we're on the brink of insanity, sometimes it can feel like we're that close to cracking through the illusion. This life, this illusion, this dream is here to stay. Embrace it. There will come a time when it naturally ends and, hopefully, we'll finally then know the truth. Until that time.... ?

OK, I stand corrected. Thanks for the clarification, Bread Filter. Still funny. What an awesome dude.

Gotta be on drugs. "It's so intense, I don't know what it means" cries, crying morphs into laughter "What does it mean? Help me"

Thank you, Fydesvindico. Excellent and most helpful.

"I think I'm thinking, therefore I might possibly be" (from Red Dwarf)

Ha ha ha.. I've seen the original before and laughed my ass off at that, but the remix took it to a whole new place. Nice.

Yeah, not herbs.

Ha ha... I'd be tempted to test that theory out. To be truthful, I can actually relate to that sort of pattern. Some years back I just about convinced myself that I didn't exist. Realized that in the big scheme of things, my actions had no consequences. Oh, what a glorious time. ... 12 months later, the debt collectors successfully convinced me otherwise.

^^

sacrifice (and LOL at Meanies' post above)

Programmable robot strippers in every household, personal one-seater helicopters for every man, woman and child and machines that turn carbon-dioxide into breathable air so we can get rid of all them pesky trees.

I think the better thing to do is to grow your own from seed, have the patience to let it get to a good size and then chop it down. It doesn't quite answer your question, but you also have to ask the question how do you feel ethically chopping down trees from their native habitat for your own tryptamine needs. I personally couldn't do it. As such, I personally have a long time to wait before anything I've planted is ready to harvest... cest la vie. I have a friend who once went out on an acacia mission, found the tree he wanted, chopped it down and felt terribly guilty for a long time afterwards. Just something to think about.

I've also been inspired by Lord Mayo's shots and have found myself thinking about getting a new camera. I don't expect to churn out photos quite of that calibre, but I'm at a stage of my life where I'm more interested in taking photos than ever before and my cheap digital and the camera on my phone don't cut it anymore. One camera I've been looking at is the Pentax K-x, around the $600 mark (plus lenses). Sorry to hi-jack the thread, but I thought it was relevant to ask if anyone has experience with these. It's a bit dearer than what you're asking about, Vual, but it seems we're both on a similar mission.

Care to expand?

I'm a big fan of Damiana tea. It's subtle, don't expect too much. I find that it's useful as a standard to strongish tea after a stressful day at the office. It seems to work for me, just makes it that little bit easier to unwind. Subtle is the key word for me with Damiana tea.