Alchemica

There could possibly be some changes but in my non-professional opinion, nothing dangerous. Best checking with professionals though. You have to consider your changes to self-concept too which would also impact the journey There is a strong modulatory influence of estrogen on the serotonin system: there seems to be cross-talk between estrogenic and serotonergic pathways "ovarian steroids bring induction of dendritic spine proliferation on serotonin neurons [with a ] profound effect on serotonergic transmission. " [1] ERβ negatively regulates 5-HT2A [a phytoestrogenic diet caused a significant decrease in the expression of 5-HT2A receptors ] and estrogen changes this receptor binding There is support for the effect of progesterone on 5-HT1A receptor expression by affecting the serotonergic system supporting "relation of the steroid hormone progesterone to 5-HT1A receptor binding. [2] [3] There could be some changes to CYP liver enzymes, too - this would alter how quickly things like beta-carbolines stayed active

Thanks for sharing. I used to just aim to get loose on loose leaf tea. Then I noticed how potent a healing aid it was on a different level... Tea has powerful spiritual and ceremonial role - I'm not sure I'd go as far as soma but it's a potent ally. Tea mystics are spiritual psychonauts “Tea is Nature… Tea is Medicine… Tea is Heart and Spirit…” Tea is something that can help you forward in meditation, mindful absorption of the present, and self-cultivation. The Way of Tea is expressed in four Japanese characters: Harmony, Respect, Purity and Tranquillity “It’s hard to even speak now ‘cause that was so profound, and I don’t know that words are really poetic enough or descriptive enough, but I really felt — I feel different from the moment I started ’til the end; I really felt like I went through a journey.” [1] "Having been under the influences of rapid infusions of some 1950’s Red Mark Yin-Ji Puerh I feel justified in suggesting tea or Camellia sinensis as a possible candidate or substitute for Soma. With tiny orbs of qi coursing through my system after each sip I see a vision of the lineage of patriarchs of Esoteric Buddhism and thangkas of blue Bodhisattvas holding cups of amrita in their palm. Tea may not be the original soma, but the reverence, ritual and perhaps the shape into which it is pressed (especially in Tibet), make it a serious candidate as a soma-substitute or amrita." Tea "as a beverage that, when ritually prepared, allowed communion with divinities—suggest the reason for continued appeal in later ages in both China and Japan”. Tea’s constant domain within a sacred, often ritual context must be always remembered and it is retained even in the more secular literati circles that treated it as a near sacrament in their microcosmic ways and arts. "Tea’s special relationship with Buddhist and Daoist “ritual”, or combinations thereof, and persistent associations with Indian mystics and religious experience were instrumental in the spread of tea throughout ancient China, Korea and Japan." [2] There's much to be explored in a porcelain cup of alkaloids - we do not always think of tea as a potent psychoactive plant in the West, as it is so commonly consumed and readily available. One becomes liberated from earthly attachments and is able to commune with eternity, nature, and all living beings - a path to the essential self [1] People note a sense of well-being and peacefulness and appreciate the little things and not rush Erowid Tea "The effects were stronger than I expected. I hadn't had tea in awhile. Sounds around me were amplified. The wind was pressing against me. I felt like I had taken a strong sedative. My body felt heavy. The wind itself felt euphoric and I felt butterflies through out my body. I had a strong since of well being. The world was beautiful, the trees swaying in the wind were happy/excited. Every living things Qi/soul whatever you want to call it were reaching out to my soul/energy and intertwining. Almost like drinking the tea allowed me to shed energy blockage which was keeping us from connecting. We were friends. The birds chirped beautifully. I felt inspiration and connection to the earth. I was ONE and felt love!" "Vision crisps up ... more vibrant, bit sharper. Euphoria. ... It was an amazing time, carefree in the warm summer sun, fueled by fusion, almost god-like. There was no comedown, it simply ended. I would honestly consider that day a +++ on the Shulgin scale comparable to mushrooms." People have touched on the social, spiritual, and health benefits, noting that it opened one’s mind to the higher things. It encouraged quiet meditation, rustic simplicity, aesthetic judgement, appreciation of nature, and the significance of the present moment. It also necessitated “courtesy ... moderation in actions,” and purity of spirit [3]. Some assert ...the practice of tea will make you friendlier, kinder, and more concerned with serving your fellow human beings. In other words, the plant Camellia sinensis and its related Camellia species will make you into a better person. “茶禅一味” which translates to something like “Zen and Tea — the same taste.” In other words, consuming tea are both viewed by some as spiritual expressions [1] https://www.reddit.com/.../understanding_tea_mysticism.../ [2] https://sites.google.com/.../delawaretea.../Home/tea-as-soma [3] https://www.crisismagazine.com/2012/tea-and-christianity Ritual use of plants incl. tea

Art served as catalysing a spiritual wake up for me. One thing that surprises me is how mental health professionals seem to have little awareness of the dynamics of the spiritual life. "According to various surveys, 51 % of therapists have an anti-religious, anti-spirituality bias". "...few have any depth acquaintance with the spiritual life, simply because this was not an aspect of their training. Most, if not all of their education and training has been in the behavioral and social sciences, which, as indicated above, can have an anti-religion, anti-spirituality bias. Thus, while not outright hostile, they may be uninformed. A remaining minority of therapists may have ventured beyond the above biases and misinformation, to acquaint themselves with the world of the spirit. However, this may be limited to attending a seminar, or meditation classes, Yoga classes etc" In mental health, spirituality has been shown to be a significant and independent predictor of recovery and/or improvement in indices of treatment outcome. Religious/spiritual well-being might be considered an important resource to explore, in particular for affective disorder patients [1] What's often involved [2]? -the early stages of spiritual life describes the pleasant experiences—peace, tranquility, etc. They are not unlike the "falling-in-love" experiences Embracing a thinking type with a feeling function that had been so repressed and unacknowledged can burst out and overwhelm, one becomes a casualty of a life devoid of spiritual fulfillment. -difficult, taxing experience of wrestling with our character defects, sins and faults. The temptation here is to equate this experience with clinical depression. Probably what is happening in this stage is a complete reorganization of the psyche. It is essential that we trust the process - this equates with "Faith" as Faith equals Trust. We learn that grace is active in our souls, regardless our of awareness. With determination and faith, the purgative process comes to an end - illumination usually comes upon us gradually. We experience less anger and anxiety. Good behaviour comes more naturally. - The final stage is the experience of ongoing closeness in relationship In serious mental illness, negative symptom scores were inversely correlated with spiritual/religious well-being scores, and that general psychopathology symptom scores were inversely correlated with existential well-being scores [3] People often undergo intense spiritual awakenings that facilitate abstinence, too. Self-reports of spiritual awakening predicted improved drinking outcomes in one study [4] and recovery was often heavily reliant on spirituality and in one study spirituality was an important predictor of reductions in drug use while in treatment and at the follow-up interview, whereas religiosity was not [5]. Increases in day-to-day experiences of spirituality and sense of purpose/meaning in life were associated with absence of heavy drinking [6] - Spirituality was described as hope - When our God-image is contaminated and toxic, our spiritual growth is hindered. - Spirituality was credited with helping improve participants’ state of mind by giving strength and peace - It’s that relationship that you establish where you get honest with yourself, it’s all with yourself [1] https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/22797574 [2] https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/24449135 [3] https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/15870619 [4] https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/24335767 [5] https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2693037/ [6] https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/17286347 The Hells of Illness To me, the Hells of Illness are places we often foolishly stay in through dis-empowerment, extremely contracted states of consciousness They are places of feelings of unworthiness of love, literally souls in exile. They are attachment to lower-states of Pride, Anger, Desire, Fear, Grief, Apathy, Guilt and Shame where domination by force is stronger than the power of Love. It is our job to work through those lower emotions and transcend that, otherwise people become demanding, blaming, antagonistic, disappointing, frightened, hopeless and miserable and cycle through hurting themselves and others. It's a loop of downward spirals of discontent, disconnection and devolution In stepping into our loving power and working through to transcend those lower emotions and embracing our Divine selves we reach a tipping point towards expansion, we gain acceptance, courage, trust, optimism, forgiveness, understanding, reverence, serenity and bliss Darkness of the Soul "...a growing number of scientific studies indicate individuals contending with depression and other potentially serious mental health conditions may struggle with their faith in ways that lead to adverse outcomes" If we approached suicidality with 'What is it in you that needs to die?' we could embrace transformation. We don't have that wisdom in our culture, we just go up to the person and say, 'Please don't die, please don't harm yourself, it's a really good world out there, there's lots to live for, there are people who love you, there are all these social services,' and of course that has no effect. People with negative religious/spiritual coping scores showed more protracted and severe symptomatology in depression. Unstable spiritual needs in people and lack of stable positive interests are prone to negative behaviours and spiritual struggle was a salient indicator of depressive symptom severity in both mood-disordered and psychotic patients. Spirituality promotes a healthy lifestyle, social connectedness, attachment security with God or a Higher Power, identity formation, as well as healthy brain development among high-risk groups and sense of interconnectedness, the experience of love, and altruistic engagement. People often struggle with perceived sense of loss or desecration of other beliefs, relationships, and/or practices that patients imbue with transcendent or penultimate value. For instance there could be unmet vocational goals or difficulty negotiating interpersonal realms Spiritual well-being plays a role in mental health through in part mediating the association of attachment and psychological distress. Spirituality, as marked by the meaning of self, inner independence, and transcendence, is distinct from mood. It cooperates, together with the affective states, to determine quality of life. Spiritual therapy can be used as an effective intervention to improve spiritual well-being, self-esteem and self-efficacy. It is seen as a pathway to positive self-concept/body image through gratitude and reduced self-objectification Struggles Review: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/30772739 Greater severity of spiritual struggles was generally associated with worse depression symptomatology and less positive mental health and issues with ultimate meaning emerged as a salient indicator of mental health status at the two assessments as well as longitudinal changes in both depression symptomatology and positive mental health. Struggles with ultimate meaning may present similarly to depressed mood and anhedonia. Feelings of worthlessness or excessive/inappropriate guilt may add to the picture. Spiritual struggles also influence dimensions of emotional suffering. Spiritual interventions (e.g.,meditation/prayer, affirm divine worth or encourage acceptance of divine love) alongside psychological and biological approaches can help. Self-compassion predicted depressive improvement and bolstering this reduced mind-wandering [1]. We can shift to a place where health is transformed from a state that requires the absence of disease to a state where the central theme is the fullness of life. Health becomes not a static state of being, but a dynamic quality of living where body, mind, and spirit are fully employed to make the most of each day [2] [1] https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/30906796 [2] https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/30462340 Love Love and spirituality are inseparable - when spirituality grows, so does the capability for love. "...When you won’t love, or won’t let it out, it emerges anyway in the form of self-destruction. The alternative to self-love, in other words, is self-destruction. Because you won’t take the risk of loving yourself properly, you will be compelled instead to destroy yourself. The essential point is to consider love as a spectrum... you have to take it and let it grow where you find it." And noticed the whole organism - physical, psychological, and spiritual - is an erogenous zone. We learn the flow of love should not be channeled exclusively towards the physical but used for growth and healing https://progessnotperfection.blogspot.com/2009/08/spectrum-of-love-by-alan-watts.html The Power of Spirit Living an entirely rational existence seeks its opposite in intoxicants and other forms of escape, which lead to depression and self harm. Part of the intellect has to give over to the life of faith, and if it doesn't the ego will remain in a state of neurosis or mental illness. It has to actually give over to the force that is greater than itself "The purely material approach to mental illness, while often having some impact of course and the medication often has wonderful effects, but it rarely gets to the root cause of the problem. And so that's why I think it's now time for the modern approach to mental illness to revisit the ancient models which included the spirit and the soul." https://www.abc.net.au/radionational/programs/spiritofthings/spiritual-sickness/ Awakening https://www.spiritualawakeningprocess.com/2013/12/the-embracing-your-light-phase.html "...some of us, we hit this point where we say, "Enough is enough!" We're tired of fighting ourselves. We tired of trying to re-create the old life which feels like stacking marbles in a corner. It all keeps falling apart. We're tired of being tired and doing things that don't help us. We've had it with the remaining unconscious ego that has been clinging on like concrete pants that threaten to drown us in the ocean of consciousness. This is actually a sacred turning point." At the start, it tends to be about facing the darkness while still clinging to old unconscious ego habits. The shadow and dispelling the darkness phase is an over-arching phase. Later on, people can make a choice to truly stand in their light because they no longer have any attachment or investment in the old unhealthy ways of living that caused so much suffering. Initially, a lot of people are terrible at interpreting how they feel. They've spent so much time ignoring and avoiding their feelings, sensations, and other information that they don't know what is what. That's another reason a spiritual awakening can overwhelm people. They feel lost in all this "new" information that they can't immediately understand. Awakening is the start to understanding oneself and finding freedom from the suffering. That freedom is the ability to be with whatever experiences or feelings may come. In the Embracing the Light Phase: The person steps into their love and light in a significant way The individual lets go more and accepts themselves more deeply as they are. The individual stays more focused on faith and trust. There is better integration because of a whole being level of acceptance. There's a deeper forgetting of issues. In this sense, we no longer understand why we should be afraid of something. The mindset that believed in the fear, anger, etc. is annihilated and we see through our own insanity. Finding Hope and Faith "Love overcomes separation and creates participation...there is also no true help which does not spring from love and create love” Spirituality offers a vast domain of potential connection. This connection is fitting insofar as spirituality is the antithesis of egocentrism and self-absorption "Whatever else it may be, spirit is social. It represents our sense of participation and membership in a humanity and a world much larger than our individual selves” It is impossible to conceive hope without faith. “Faith is the state of being ultimately concerned” and “the centered movement of the whole personality toward something of ultimate meaning and significance” as well as “passionate concern...a matter of infinite passion” Faith, hope, and love are impossible without active participation. Such a relation of reaching out and taking in exemplifies secure attachment as well as the caregiving context in which attachment security develops, and this embracing attachment sustains hope. We risk overlooking what might be more problematic for some people: the existential-spiritual impact of illness, which includes cynicism, bitterness, and alienation as well as loss of faith and hope People can experience profoundly insecure attachment. This plight leaves the person feeling psychologically alone in unbearable emotional states and can be associated with alienation, despair, and hopelessness—at worst, suicidal states. The instillation of hope requires restoration of security in attachment relationships, which serves not only to ameliorate distress but also to restore the self-worth and self-confidence essential for exploration and growth. Spiritual thinking—with or without God—might foster a sense of being at home in the universe, and I use “home” deliberately for its attachment connotations. Patients with psychosis showed a high prevalence of insecure avoidant attachment. Spiritual entities functioned like attachment figures in two thirds of cases [1] The person plays and explores confidently as long as the attachment figure is accessible. Thus security optimally balances relatedness and autonomy This sense of being at home and connected is the antithesis of the most profound sense of hopelessness seen in severe mental illness; that is, feeling disconnected, alone, and alienated in emotional pain https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/24354604 [1] https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/26446496 A heart for compassion "When individuals are in a state of increased awareness, they are conscious of their thoughts and emotions and move from the reactive mind to the responsive mind. They are able to perceive experiences with more clarity than when their thoughts are clouded by conditioning and/or intolerance. Awareness frees individuals to experience people and circumstances as they are without judgment or the confines of preconceived ideas, The inherent paradox of tolerance is distinctively different from stress in that tolerance involves acceptance. It is an acceptance of people and an acceptance of what “is” in the present moment. Acceptance quiets the tension of the inherent paradox. Spiritual awareness may lead to lower psychosocial stress (belief or thought that demands and expectations being placed on one exceed their ability to cope, decreased neurohormonal activation, low allostatic load (the level of wear and tear on the body that accumulates as an individual is exposed to repeated or chronic stress), and better health outcomes. The process is mediated by decreased intolerance and increased compassion. The goal is to extend the periods of time during which we are in a state of increased awareness, recognizing our connectedness with ourselves and others, collectively present in space and time. Individual and collective awareness fosters tolerance through the mechanism of compassion." https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6210378/ The message Our generation suffers the disease of distorted perception of self and lack of regard for others. Egocentric thinking is elevated among millennials. Greater exposure to materialistic culture also seems to exacerbate individual feelings of deprivation. People often use negative coping to meet the developmental need to fit in, while drowning out a pervasive sense of not being ‘good enough’ People "reach a point of spiritual emptiness and corresponding sense of low self-worth that can be addressed by strategies that reframe one's life (and its stresses) to make it more meaningful while also improving one's self identity" [1]. "Spiritual experience, in shifting the motivational structures of the self to sincere other-regard, may activate this complex caregiving circuitry. When this occurs, spiritual awakening aligns with character development by substituting humility for self-aggrandizement, connectedness for isolation, generosity/helping for taking, and a spiritual sense of purpose for a lack of meaning. Spiritual experiences also provide a lens for reinterpreting what might otherwise be debilitating negative experiences from the past in ways that enhance a sense of well-being" "If spiritual experiences, and especially the experience of divine love, move the motivational structure from Buber's classic “I-It” to “I-Thou” (the genuine discovery of the other as a center of value equal to or greater than one's own), then perhaps the benefits of service to others will be greater because of the purity of motive that such experiences foster". "Spirituality has been found to shield against risky behavior and emotional problems, such as depression, anxiety, and suicidality. Studies have also demonstrated that spirituality is significantly associated with indicators of subjective well-being – higher levels of positive emotions and more life satisfaction There is also mounting evidence that spirituality contributes to prosociality – more compassionate feelings and behaviors toward needy others, higher levels of civic engagement, and heightened peer likeability, which, in turn, facilitate social adjustment and functioning. Some studies also point to spirituality as a source of optimism for good outcomes and of unwillingness to fall into despair during difficult times. Although optimism is considered a personality trait that is relatively stable over time, there is empirical evidence that optimism is reinforced by spiritual experiences . Mofidi et al. noted that the relationship between spirituality and optimism is often bidirectional in that spirituality may promote optimism and optimism may support spirituality. Spirituality can add more passion and meaning to people’s intrapersonal and intellectual aspirations; it can moderate how people interact with others; it can redefine the goals people pursue; and it can help people in reappraising life events and transcending hardships and difficulties" [2] Spiritual experiences like divine love may inspire and deepen motivation to serve others. Engagement in spiritual activity may benefit cognitive function [3] [1] https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4964962/ [2] https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/30873082 [3] https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/24088403

Making Love - How spirituality changed my relationships Keen to hear what spirituality has changed for your life? There are a few things that have shifted for me through some recent spiritual experiences. In two words: My relationships Most notably towards life. Just a peaceful calm acceptance of it with some re-invigoration. And of death. Also, my relationships: Aiming for my healthy relationships with friends, family and myself but also 1. towards substances 2. towards suffering 2. towards sexuality 3. towards "others" 4. towards love ...some people are evolving in their spiritual awareness toward meaning-making, healing, and peace, while others remain in a state of chronic anger and suffering. I was stuck in the cycles of painful devolution WAY too long The pain in the human heart needs to be attended to by rituals and practices that, when practiced, will lessen anger and allow health and creativity to flow anew Some individuals start to explore new spiritual paths, becoming more aware of higher realms of consciousness, and a sense of divine presence Towards substances These days I'm a teetotaller. Literally just drink black tea. After so long of pharmacological exploitation of biological mechanisms (and maladaptive behaviours) that normally generate healthy attachments between friends, family and lovers one can use a core strategy of grief therapy to facilitate growth of the individual into new healthy pre-occupations, habits and relationships [1] Connections between unhealthy behaviours, mental illness, and attachment abnormalities are real, but quite complex and nuanced. Over time, it has created a pathological limitation of their free will and capacity to enact adaptive choices. It has limited their motivational-behavioural repertoire to an abnormally narrow set of ‘programs’ at the expense of healthy motivations and behaviours We can see the great difficulty of producing a therapeutic rescue and liberation of the patient from their imprisoning behaviours, because it is also about a ‘love affair’ that is keeping them imprisoned. One can attempt to form strong therapeutic attachments with people that can ‘over power’ their pathological attachments Helping people bear and mourn what are often tremendous and irreplaceable losses is often critical to protecting them against future relapses and worsening depression. Bringing empathy, honoring patient’s humanity and need for connection, relieving them of shame could all be valuable therapeutic ingredients to recovery From: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6383361/ Towards Suffering I have some greater compassion but also a less biomedical approach to illness Each time our world cycles through a winter of the human spirit, there is an invisible summer within us, an invitation to reinhabit our deepest decency and live up to our most ennobled nature. Humans are generally experts at finding ways to place ourselves into spiritual bondage, it is this very spiritual “woundedness” that becomes the path to our healing and recovery. While illness is slavery to a cruel god, it can also be the pathway to a deeper spirituality than is experienced without it. It is through our wounds that we can allow spirit and others to enter our lives and help make us whole. "There Is a Crack in Everything, That’s How the Light Gets In" "Sometimes one has simply to endure a period of depression for what it may hold of illumination if one can live through it" "...the most withering aspect of depression is the way it erases, like physical illness does, the memory of wellness. The totality of the erasure sweeps away the elemental belief that another state of being is at all possible — the sensorial memory of what it was like to feel any other way vanishes, until your entire being contracts into the state of what is, unfathoming of what has been, can be, and will be." You learn to build fires where you can warm yourself as you wait for the tempest to pass. These fires — the routines, habits, relationships, and coping mechanisms you build — help you to look at the rain and see fertilizer instead of a flood. If you want the lushest green of life (and you do), the gray is part of the natural cycle. [1] [1] https://www.brainpickings.org/2016/12/08/tim-ferriss-tools-of-titans-depression/ I'm interested in using the current wisdom of induced altered states of consciousness [1] as a backdrop to navigate and heal from what would otherwise be dismissed as simple pathology. I've had some quite intense experiences lately which have actually helped me. It's surprising how what could be glossed over as 'poor mental health', if navigated as a compassionate journey, seems to unfold towards some better wholeness. Sure, you want to taper the intensity to a safe tolerability when needed but safely exploring your craziness can be really therapeutic. In 'illness' there are endogenous altered states of consciousness, changes in ego and self-concept and heightening of physical sensations, emotions, and memories and hallucinations; some of which can be traumatic What happens when this is approached in a way that allows an unfolding and working through of intense experiences, rather than dismissing them? Shifting from plain symptom reduction to a psychotherapeutic and spiritual framework? What does meaningful integration look like? - normalise the experiences "From a purely psychological perspective, integration involves a reuniting of the parts of ourselves that have been split off, banished from consciousness, deemed unfit or unsafe to acknowledge, experience or express. This fragmentation of the personality and of the psyche leads to a host of mental health problems and disorders and interpersonal relationship difficulties. When the identity, or sense of self, is impoverished or unstable, a person will experience excessive self-criticism, chronic feelings of emptiness, and dissociation (a state of disconnection from mind and body). In psychotherapy, we focus on the integration of the ego and the development of a continuous and stable sense of self. Ego is a Latin word that means “I.” When a person has an integrated ego, they have a reliable sense of their “I” and of their personal identity. They also have a reliable sense of others as distinct from themselves and an understanding of how these two constructs (self and other) interact to form a sense of reality. The integration of the ego is the process of organizing the aspects of the personality (drives, attitudes, beliefs, goals) and the split off parts of ourselves (due to shame, pain, trauma, etc.) into a balanced whole. In so doing, we become more effective in managing our lives and our relationships with others. We reconnect the fragmented parts of ourselves that have been split off or exiled because of the shame and the pain that they hold. These are the parts of ourselves that we don’t like; the parts that are vulnerable and afraid. However, in burying these painful parts of ourselves, we inadvertently also bury the other more joyful parts of ourselves. If we numb our fear, we numb our joy. We drink and abuse substances of all kinds to numb the pain or to feel something else or nothing at all. We constantly shift the external experience when the current one overwhelms us. This means we aren’t being present. We aren’t still. Integration is about collecting all of the parts of ourselves and weaving them back together like the multifaceted diamonds that we are. We are like diamonds that shatter in response to trauma and difficult life experiences, fragments chipping off with each blow. The work in traditional psychotherapy is to unite, or integrate, the various parts of ourselves into one brilliant whole. By bringing awareness to the various parts of ourselves (the mind, the body, the breath, the senses) they can become integrated. ...while integration in psychotherapy involves creating wholeness within the ego, and integration in spiritual practices involves bridging the ego with that which lies beyond it" - language may not be available to express what we’ve experienced, nor is it necessarily the best or most effective way to express it. Drawing and painting and working with mandalas are great ways to express nonverbal material. - somatic practices can be helpful. What affects the mind affects the body, and vice versa. Becoming embodied and aware of the breath while moving through sensations helps us to integrate on the physical level. - It is through an increased awareness of the body, the mind, and the spirit that we become whole. [1] https://chacruna.net/integration-psychedelics-spirituality/ I see so much suffering is a process of grief. Grief as a Mystical Journey - from Loss to Faith We learn that a broken heart is capable of great love. Those experiencing loss, difficult and painful times can find many areas of compassion and comfort, particularly "Grief dares us to love once more." — Terry Tempest Williams "The risk of love is loss, and the price of loss is grief - But the pain of grief is only a shadow when compared with the pain of never risking love." Hillary Stanton Zunin There is no renewal without a ‘small’ death of our personality, our set positioning in life or our childlike naivety. Sure there's the heavy grief. Loss of loved ones including pets, adjusting to illness but there's also other levels which can impact life "Grief of not being welcome, wanted, enough, or of not knowing enough, have enough support, money, skills etc...Paralysis, shame and envy can become the new guests in our beings.... We stop, numb and stay small not to feel our sadness, our numbness, our fears and anger. We are not skilled in Grief neither in Love. A terrible poverty takes place in our heart..." - Soul and making the world of our longing From Francis Weller's The Wild Edge of Sorrow: Rituals of Renewal and the Sacred Work of Grief 1. "There is some strange intimacy between grief and aliveness, some sacred exchange between what seems unbearable and what is most exquisitely alive." 2. "Grief and love are sisters, woven together from the beginning. Their kinship reminds us that there is no love that does not contain loss and no loss that is not a reminder of the love we carry for what we once held close." 3. "Grief is subversive, undermining the quiet agreement to behave and be in control of our emotions. It is an act of protest that declares our refusal to live numb and small. There is something feral about grief, something essentially outside the ordained and sanctioned behaviors of our culture. Because of that, grief is necessary to the vitality of the soul. Contrary to our fears, grief is suffused with life-force.... It is not a state of deadness or emotional flatness. Grief is alive, wild, untamed and cannot be domesticated. It resists the demands to remain passive and still. We move in jangled, unsettled, and riotous ways when grief takes hold of us. It is truly an emotion that rises from the soul." 4. Many who undertake the full journey into grief come back carrying medicine for the world. “Deep in our bones lies an intuition that we arrive here carrying a bundle of gifts to offer to the community. Over time, these gifts are meant to be seen, developed, and called into the village at times of need. To feel valued for the gifts with which we are born affirms our worth and dignity. In a sense, it is a form of spiritual employment - simply being who we are confirms our place in the village. That is one of the fundamental understanding about gifts: we can only offer them by being ourselves fully. Gifts are a consequence of authenticity; when we are being true to our natures, the gifts can emerge.” Summarised by Darcy K. Butcher ...we are not locked in to the images of God that have been handed to us by family and culture. Interpretations of faith are dynamic rather than stagnant, and they are subject to change and evolution, with the spiritual shakeup resulting from loss and trauma as a common trigger. When one’s sense of equilibrium is disturbed, it can result in a "shifting of the field of consciousness from lower to higher levels ... the necessary beginning of any process of transcendence". This shift can push us through Fowler’s stages and lead us toward a new equilibrium Five stages of mystical development - an "awakening" experience that jolts us into a new reality - purging of the old familiar self - a period of illumination - a surrender to emptiness - a state where the usual conflicts and challenges are viewed from an elevated perspective. Here, instead of merely seeking relief from pain, one seeks meaning Some putative stages: Primal Faith: a foundational state of either trust or mistrust, depending on the care it receives and its sense of safety in the world. From this foundation, preliminary images of "God" begin to form Intuitive-Reflective Faith Mythic-Literal Faith Losses are triggering curiosity and questioning that can lead them to the next stage, where, Fowler explains, there is an ability to imagine other possibilities and other realities Synthetic-Conventional Faith Centred on building a personal identity and building relationships with the world outside the immediate family. "God" is a significant other who knows the depths and the secrets of the self, and offers companionship, guidance and support Individuative-Reflective Faith "The person is pushed out of, or steps out of, the circle of interpersonal relationships that have sustained his life to that point". This turning point can move a person toward deeper awareness as the result of a life-altering loss, that is, any experience that Wulff (1991) describes as causing one to "reflect on the relevance of established beliefs and values" Conjunctive Faith "waking up", one learns they can feed grief and pain or feed wonder and faith. Loss was not a meaningless accident. Open up to a greater potential and gained a reference point from which they contribute to the universe in new ways - reclaiming and reworking of one’s past -a view beyond separateness and dualism. It is a universalized faith rather than a personal one, functioning more in a transcendent reality than in a material reality. "This is where there is access to a quality of transcendence more concerned with personal revelation than with symbols or doctrines". In terms of grief resilience and recovery, this stage represents an emergence from grief with a positive outcome that includes a heightened awareness and a peaceful acceptance of the natural ebb and flow of sorrow and joy". Universalizing Faith "walk the talk" It is possible to now see the self as part of a universal collective concerned with the energy of the whole rather than as an individual, autonomous island only concerned with personal, ego-centered needs. From: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/29224518 Towards sexuality Anyone else feel we need to literally re-program our mind, body and spirit away from most of our culture’s devolution of the sacred life-force energy that is so rampant today? I feel it is our need to bloom a love beyond our immature, rebellious, uncertain and sexually confused carnal natures to vision of ourselves which will generate aliveness and hope.To form the capacity for loving intimacy. There is a strong and positive correlation between sexuality and spirituality as well as wellbeing. One can be certain that any improvement in one of the areas may have a positive implication on the other area [1]. Unfortunately in our culture, sexuality gets reduced to a physical hedonistic high, power/control and lust and other negative ways - aiming then to gratify ‘our’ needs, ‘our’ desires - to fill a void - but it is not simply "hunger to be satisfied". We also live so dualistically, failing to see each-other equally, with love To merge spirituality with sexuality means to connect sexuality with love, beauty, wonder, equality and joy. To affirm the wonder of life, the beauty of the human spirit and embrace love and care. Sexuality and spirituality are both deeply personal and connected to our life force energy. Our attitudes about life, love, care and compassion are all connected to our feelings about sexuality. Getting beyond our self absorption and being able to tap into the wonder and awe of creation can help us deepen our experience with sexuality - we need to associate sexuality with love, care, joy and commitment - where we open our minds and hearts If we think of the body, mind and spirit as one, then to have a sense of wholeness associated with our sexuality is to be tuned into all aspects of our being–our spiritual life, senses, feelings and thoughts. Connecting to our sexual energy is also about feeling joy and passion that come from honest conversation, giving to others, being in nature, being active and being of service. "Relationship gives us access to Divinity through the portal of love. God is love, the attraction that brings beings together. Oneness is the realization of our intrinsic continuity with all of existence and the source of existence. The recognition of our oneness is an expansion of the "self-system" into a holy context, to be a Godself in relationship with infinite Godselves, the entire evolving chain of being beheld in your lover as a reflection in a Sacred Mirror." Development is linked to these areas Physical Perceiving one’s body, gender, and growth-producing sexual behaviour as well as that of the opposite sex with a positive attitude. Emotional Feeling comfortable, confident, and competent with one’s body and sexuality, and that of the opposite sexes’ Social Relating with persons of the same and opposite sex in a healthy way; having the capacity for self-disclosure; being able to sustain friendship and intimacy. Moral Valuing the ways of allowing and encouraging the behaviours necessary for ongoing growth. Psychologically, the major challenge is to become more fully the persons they were meant to be by becoming more single-minded, more loving and caring, and more whole. It means achieving better balance between autonomy and intimacy and between self-interest and self-surrender. Into generative behaviours Spiritual Spiritually, the task is to develop spiritual intimacy. Individuals at this stage can respond to the dual desire and longing for intimacy and transcendence by becoming more sensitive to relationships through putting others’ needs and interests first and by becoming more meditative and prayerful. Individuals in this stage are more attracted to Centering prayer and related forms of meditation than in previous stages. When any of these six dimensions are absent or limited, or if they develop in unhealthy ways, our journey toward sexual integration will in some way be hindered or slowed down leading to our sexual energy being expressed in ways that are hurtful to ourselves and others http://www.claretianformation.com/psycho-sexual-development/ Modified from: https://charlottekasl.com/sexuality-spirituality-and-relationships-a-guide-to-bringing-them-together-in-our-lives/ [1] https://pdfs.semanticscholar.org/6ee6/fe5add99f90502e571417e7603feacff1529.pdf Towards others I was always stuck in you vs me... We become incapable of seeing the spectrums of life... moral discernment is simplified and greatly inhibited. It becomes easy and necessary to "other" (including parts of ourselves) who gets lumped into the "the other". Healing becomes hard because we destroy through categorisation that which we can no longer hold in empathy. Our view of other people and life itself is also split into polarities... As a result, we view the whole universe through a tainted lens. Splitting and the dualism it entails results in a repression of spirituality because it is a disconnect from deeper reality: my own Self, other people, and the whole universe. We repress the profound: spirituality, unity consciousness, and imagination, into an unconscious spiritual shadow self. In the attempt to protect ourselves from pain through compartmentalisation, we plunge ourselves deeper into it. The disconnect of splitting is more painful than pain itself because it cuts us off. We need to prioritise personal and collective healing if we want to experience the joys of spirituality, the freedom of wholeness and connection. Polarity is indeed part of the natural order, but we lose touch with life when we cut off consciousness of connection. Dualism is the idolisation and immortalisation of polarity through the destruction of relationship. ...systems of othering are so tempting because they appeal to our sense of separation and offer a solution that resonates with our suffering. Dualism protected us as children from the beauties of life and the wonders of spiritual experiencing being swallowed up by suffering. But dualism no longer serves those of us who aspire to move beyond childhood wounding into adult thriving. Modified from: https://lifeafterdogma.org/2019/02/11/psychological-splitting/ Towards Love “If we are stretching to live wiser and not just smarter, we will aspire to learn what love means…" Our society continually casts love as something that happens to us passively and by chance, something we fall into, something that strikes us arrow-like, rather than a skill attained through the same deliberate practice as any other pursuit In spite of the deep-seated craving for love, almost everything else is considered to be more important than love: success, prestige, money, power — almost all our energy is used for the learning of how to achieve these aims, and almost none to learn the art of loving. Most people see the problem of love primarily as that of being loved, rather than that of loving, of one’s capacity to love. Hence the problem to them is how to be loved, how to be lovable. That said, a love predicated on possession inevitably turns into fear — the fear of losing what was gained. "Love is concerned with growth and evolution. It is — though as yet hardly acknowledged in that connection — a root-factor of ordinary human growth; for in so far as it is a hunger of the individual, the satisfaction of that hunger is necessary for individual growth — necessary (in its various forms) for physical, mental and spiritual nourishment, for health, mental energy, large affectional capacity, and so forth. And it is — though this too is not sufficiently acknowledged — a root-factor of the Evolution process. Love is a complex of human relations — physical, mental, emotional, spiritual, and so forth — all more or less necessary. And though seldom realized complete, it is felt, and feels itself, to be imperfect without some representation of every side. To limit it to the expression of one particular aspect would be totally inadequate, if not absurd and impossible. The intense chemistry of the psychic elements produces something like an actual flame. A fresh combination is entered into, profound transformations are effected, strange forces liberated, and a new personality perhaps created; and the accomplishment and evidence of the whole process is by no means only joy, but agony also Love does more for the moralizing of poor humanity than a hundred thousand Sunday schools. It cleans the little human soul from the clustered lies in which it has nested itself — from the petty conceits and deceits and cowardices and covert meannesses." [1] [1] https://www.brainpickings.org/2019/03/31/edward-carpenter-love-marriage-in-free-society/

Interesting but have you tried simple tryptophan? Seems to be a commoner approach with a better established safety profile

My Brahmi propagation reminds me of our journey of life. From the Mother plant, Our True Nature, you break off as a segment, often severely struggle, try to become an individual, go off the path for awhile, get corrupted by environmental influences you're growing around... until a loving influence lets you re-root in new fertile soil... there you find new ground to grow as a beautiful Soul, blossoming into your Divine Self. Here's my Brahmi in flower. I enjoy propagating these and handing them to people. Brahmi is a most precious herb. It is a "herb of grace". I started off using commercial extracts, being a real science evidence based doser, often with Gingko to heal my mind. I required high doses and it took quite some time. It's been a stable plant in my life for quite awhile, just helping heal gently. It seems interesting in that it's a plant that grows with you as you heal, you tune into it and need less and less. It becomes a plant that provides better health for me, quite a spiritual plant when you attune to it. I hope others find that journey with it. I use it in salads etc, slight bitter taste but there are other ways you can use it. Somewhere I probably wrote a technical spiel on it's pharmacology, try and add that soon if I can find it. Brahmi is a wonderful herb for opening the mind, enhancing the intellect and promoting spiritual growth. "Brahmi is an Ayurvedic medicinal herb which has been used for centuries. Certain neurological disorders have limited therapeutic options in Western medicine and hospitals and research institutes across the globe are increasingly looking into Ayurvedic science for effective and safer alternatives. Brahmi is a well-known nootropic herb and its uses in neurological and psychiatric disorders are well recognized. Its efficacy and safety is supported by research and thousands of years of knowledge and experience." The good news is that Bacopa does not need too much of your attention for it to grow. All it needs is an adequate source of water, it likes lots of water, and enough light. Bacopa (Bacopa monnieri) is a popular herb in Ayurvedic medicine. The bacopa herb is commonly known as a nootropic herb, which means that it can help repair damaged neurons and improve brain function. Safety: The intake and use of this herb should be avoided by pregnant and breastfeeding women so as to avoid possible ill effects. While there are no studies that prove that Bacopa causes side effects, people have observed that excessive intake of bacopa may lead to stomach upset, diarrhea and nausea. To avoid the risk of suffering from these adverse effects, it would be a good idea to gauge your tolerance for this herb. Start with the lowest possible dose and build up your threshold. It's highly recommended to use this herb in moderation, just like other herbs. Health Benefits Bacopa monnieri offers an impressive list of health and nutritional benefits, which are usually credited to the alkaloids, saponins and sterols that this herb contains. These benefits include the following: Has antidepressant and antianxiety properties. it was observed to show antidepressive properties in animal studies. In a human study, people over the age of 65 who used Bacopa showed a decrease in both anxiety and depression. Promotes normal blood pressure. This herb has been observed to help in vascular muscle function and the complete utilization of nitric oxide. These two processes help in normalizing blood pressure. Functions as a nootropic. As mentioned above, Bacopa can boost cognitive function and improve memory and creativity. It also helps in improving focus. May improve memory and information retention. In a study, subjects were given placebos and Bacopa monnieri supplements. The individuals who were given the Bacopa monnieri showed a higher ability to retain newly introduced information. Improved cognition was also observed in people who took bacopa regularly. Acts as an adaptogen. Bacopa has the ability to regulate the body's response to acute and chronic stress. In an animal study, rats were treated with Bacopa monnieri and subjected to high amounts of stress. Their dopamine and serotonin levels were then measured, which showed that there were no observable decreases in both of these hormones May improve epilepsy symptoms. In Ayurvedic medicine, bacopa has been used to reduce the frequency of epileptic episodes. In one study, the herb's effect on the GABA receptors, which are responsible for maintaining and regulating neuronal excitation, was measured. An imbalance in these receptors causes the abnormal occurrence of seizures. The use of Bacopa showed a change in GABA receptor activity, decreasing the frequency of seizures and epilepsy symptoms. Brahmi drink: Soak a small quantity of Brahmi leaves in water overnight. Then make it into a paste with a few ground almonds, and milk. This is a first-rate tonic and cooling beverage, excellent for health and strength. This drink is especially useful for nervous debility, while invigorating and improving the brain. Brahmi Pesto Ingredients: 1 cup cashews, soaked overnight and drained 1/2 packed cup basil leaves 1/2 cup packed brahmi/bacopa Juice of 1 lemon 1 teaspoon Himalayan salt 50 milliliters (1.69 ounces) water Procedure: 1. Combine all ingredients in a high-speed blender. 2. Blend until smooth. 3. Transfer to a jar and keep refrigerated. This will last up for up to three days. Brahmi with Lentils (Vallarai Keerai Kootu) Ingredients: 1 to 2 cups tightly packed bacopa leaves 3/4 cup mung beans 1/4 teaspoon turmeric powder 1 teaspoon homemade ghee 2 teaspoon coconut oil 1 teaspoon mustard seeds 1 dried red chili 1 teaspoon black lentils 1 teaspoon chickpeas A pinch of asafetida 1/2 teaspoon cumin seeds 5 to 6 curry leaves Himalayan salt to taste Lemon juice, freshly squeezed Procedure: 1. In a pressure cooker, pour 2 cups of water. Add the lentils and turmeric powder. Cook for about 10 minutes or until done. Set aside. 2. Wash the greens with cold water. Make sure that the leaves are clean and free from dirt. Blend the leaves in a food processor or a blender until it becomes a coarse paste. 3. Using a pan, heat the coconut oil and ghee on low-medium heat. Add the mustard seeds to the coconut oil and ghee mixture. Once the mustard seeds start popping, add the red chili, mung beans, chickpeas, asafetida, black lentils and cumin seeds. 4. Add the bacopa puree and cook until the raw smell is gone. Add the Himalayan salt to taste. 5. Add the cooked lentils and mix until thoroughly combined. If the mixture is too thick, feel free to add a little water until you get your desired consistency. 6. Add lemon juice to taste. Serve. http://www.prohealth.com/library/showarticle.cfm?libid=30992 " Brahmi-derived from extract of Bacopa monnieri (EBm). Studies have shown that EBm promotes free radical scavenger mechanisms and protects cells in prefrontal cortex, hippocampus, and striatum against cytotoxicity and DNA damage implicated in AD. It also reduces lipoxygenase activity reducing lipid peroxidation, increases glutathione peroxidase and chelates iron. Administration of EBm was seen to protect the cholinergic neurons and reduce anticholinesterase activity comparable to donepezil, rivastigmine, and galantamine. " [1] Bacopa monnieri may offer benefits [1, 2, 3] Increased expression of TPH2, alterations to histone acetylation, VGLUTs, GABAergic activity and anti-inflammatory/immunomodulating properties add to bacopa’s broad spectrum of activity See more: Antipsychotic activity of standardized Bacopa extract against ketamine-induced experimental psychosis in mice: Evidence for the involvement of dopaminergic, serotonergic, and cholinergic systems.

I've used a bit of Gotu Kola. I think it's better used as a tonic rather than what I was doing, high acute doses for anxiolysis. Here's a bit on it I did https://mentalhealthplants.weebly.com/plant-blogs/gotu-kola-and-brahmi

Thanks for sharing. I'm not sure how a combination of plants simply targeting specific targets, often with multifaceted phytochemicals, that target many different pathways would go? I'd be personally more inclined to look at what is being used in preclinical models, or clinically with success for different conditions. That said, inosine is a potential disease-modifying therapy for MS, Salvia miltiorrhiza has some promise for cerebrovascular and brain conditions eg stroke recovery. To me, it's a lot of guessing to come up with a formula for neural repair that's going to help people with a diverse range of conditions

If anyone is interested, I have quite a bit of ripe fruit if you want to grow it etc. Harvested quite a few plants yesterday Can throw in a few other seeds: Calendula, Pyrethrum, Feverfew, Chamomile, Romanesco broccoli, have plenty of Milly's morning glory mix too While the fruit can cause GI distress consumed in large quantities, the withanamides, the primary active constituents in W. somnifera fruit extract exhibited neuroprotective effects. They may improve antioxidant status and reduce proinflammatory markers.These compounds may work to prevent Alzheimer's disease at the onset, and it also could prevent its progression [1]. This research was once heralded as a major step forward as there is nothing on the market that slows the progression of Alzheimer's. Can't find anything on how this research has progressed unfortunately. The patent extends to use for mood [2] [1] https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2015/03/150311124643.htm [2] https://patents.google.com/patent/CA2538905C Also can help out with leaf for research purposes. While it's less used than the root (and some seem to aim to avoid the withaferin-A), I've found it a nice enough medicinal tea and others use it similarly. The neuroprotective leaf and fruit constituents affect cortical muscarinic acetylcholine (including M1/M2 mAChRs) and neurotrophins, which may partly explain it's cognition-enhancing effect. The leaves possess higher content of active withanolides, Withaferin-A and Withanone, as compared to the roots [1]. Nootropic and CNS therapeutic properties of the leaf have been claimed [2]. Withaferin-A is a potent leptin sensitiser with additional antidiabetic actions and resulted in a 20-25% reduction of body weight in overweight mice [3]. It improves insulin sensitivity [4]. Anti-neuroinflammatory properties have been ascribed to the leaf [5] along with neuroprotective properties [6] Withaferin-A shows anti-neuroinflammatory [7] anti-Aβ properties [8] and dopamine-restoring [9] properties. Improvement of cognitive dysfunction has been ascribed to Withanone [10] including inhibition of AChE, anti-Aβ, protection against oxidative stress and anti-inflammatory effects. Many toxicological studies have demonstrated that Ashwagandha, in its reasonable dose, is a non-toxic, safe and edible herb - despite that, there is sometimes movement away from the cytotoxic constituents towards root extracts which may be less effective [1] https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/27936030 [2] https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/26361721 [3] https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/27479085 [4] https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/30417321 [5] https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/27550017 [6] https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/25789768 [7] https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/26266054 [8] https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/30356847 [9] https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/30544122 [10] https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/29108796

There was an interesting study done on how different people respond to this medicine In chronic illness, what type of person are you, does it alter how you respond to a herbal medicine? Patients' experiences attributed to the use of Passiflora incarnata: A qualitative, phenomenological study While results of studies point to the effectiveness of the therapeutic use of Passiflora incarnata for nervous restlessness, generalized anxiety disorder, insomnia, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, presurgery anxiety and menopausal symptoms, does it matter how you approach the medicine? There seems to be a fundamental aspect in responders: resetting of priorities in life and the new focus on personal growth Do you have a high degree of interest in personal growth and in overcoming your illness (Type 1), or more resigned to your condition (Type 2/3)? Do you try and maintain performance orientation (Type 2) "Type 1 patients reported that their chronic illness and its ailments led them to reset their priorities and to make more room for mindfulness and self care in their lives" Do you reset the priorities in your life (Type 1) or not (Type 2/3) All groups reported that they were frequently "overwhelmed by their daily life", constantly "chewing over everything" and "finding it difficult to distance themselves from overthinking" Interestingly, Type 1 have the best responses to a herbal medicine like Passiflora. Type 3 "did not experience something specific that they related to the use of Passiflora incarnata". Type 2 had some level of calmness. Type 1 patients attained "calmness" while using Passiflora incarnata. Moreover, they reported having a "better foundation" and "being more centered". With Passiflora incarnata,they thought that they were generally better able to "let things go" and felt more "patient" and "calm". "Passiflora, I feel, is providing me with a better foundation for these changes that have come about or that have started. I feel that I am on different ground here, that my new steps on this different ground are somehow more solid. That is, I am not perpetually racking my brain anymore. Therefore, I am not that unstable any more...in everything. That is what I identify with Passiflora." I was able "to take a step back and look at things" now "In the past, I was lived, but now I am living" I suffer "less from anxiety" with Passiflora incarnata. I am surprised that my anxiety "almost does not exist anymore" http://sci-hub.tw/10.1016/j.jep.2018.11.022

Passiflora incarnata has a really low beta-carboline content and hence the MAOI effect from such, if that's what you're seeking, is likely not relevant at typical doses. There does seem to be a more noted putative GABAergic component through the flavonoids - that's what I'd be more worried about interacting with the alcohol eg. potentiation (possibly also leading to disinhibition and even more drinking). I don't mind it as a mild mental health tool It's a nice enough plant to use but generally mild for someone used to 'intoxication' and probably with a baseline of some mental distress etc. I used to frequently brew up solid (25g) doses but eventually settled on a blend like lemon balm, chamomile and passionflower as more a subtler calm tea at more typical doses. Some people I know who had more typical brains found it sedating at much lower doses. For me, it was mainly a way of displacing drinking/craving onto something healthier but you can bring an emotional/spiritual level to any tea through a more ceremonial aspect and use it as an exercise in mindfulness. I looked for emotion-enhancing plants, that's one aspect I also liked to self-medicate. Thing is, the more you seek something external to enhance/modulate emotions, the worse things can get and the longer they'll likely persist. I ended up super, extra dysregulated through seeking 'emotional improvements' through even mild plants too often. The mere act of some novelty and hope can drive quite a potent - and at times healing - placebo response. If the expectation 'taking something' will help improve the emotional world of this person exists, it's quite likely there will be some of that with any option, just the belief can be powerful. It's worth utilising that belief in oneself and the mildest options available to drive a beneficial response IMO. Lately, I've come to see it's more shifting actions - doing - positively that can drive a better emotional landscape. If you can, get your friend growing some herbal plant allies, relating to them, nurturing them, crafting medicine/cooking with them etc more than taking them. Derive an emotional relationship with the plant more holistically, more so than seeking an emotional outcome of consuming a plant I wouldn't say discount some herbs like Passiflora as options, I would try to limit alcohol with it and start low Even something like Ashwagandha could be useful. It's one that seems quite promising for such things. Can send some seeds if you get interested.

I stuck with a very low carb very keto-like diet, it was good for weight loss but I was so anhedonic... I'd dropped 10kg, my pants were falling off and I felt absolutely no sense of personal reward. Just warning you.

Milly came to visit a few of us... It was lovely to see some pics of Milly's morning glory flowering for someone else. Coming up to her Birthday, instead of celebrating it with her I'll offer some of this year's morning glory seeds complimentary I have some Milly's lucky mix now and there will be more soon - my vines intertwined so it's a mix, surprise yourself with what comes up! Also a small amount that is Carnevale di Venezia Also have some Grandpa Ott that I grew separately. A few people can put themselves on the waiting list (just has to fully dry) Shoot me a message.

What's the opposite of addiction? Like to hear your views. Addictions are real shape-shifters. You can easily just shift between substance <-> behavioural etc and stay in loops To me, the addictive mindset reflects in things like: Suffering vs Acceptance and Growth Consumption vs Creativity Filling voids vs Creating connecting bonds To me, the most important thing has been trying to re-instate "I'm OK, you're OK". The feeling you're fundamentally OK and worthy, not wounded and different. That the world out there is OK too. You're OK. That interactions can be enjoyable. A feeling of engaging in a reciprocal interaction through simple love, connection and presence In that stance, you can engage with the world healthily, not as a wounded person filling voids. You can embrace yourself in your totality as being "you" as a worthwhile person. The world around you as being worth interacting with. Is it really connection? Some of my most disheartening experiences have been in trying to connect with humans. You can be surrounded by loving people and be miserable trying to connect with them. We promote that people need to connect socially to the point some even say "the opposite of addiction is connection". We even often promote people connect with outer God(s) to heal. Through such an attitude, you induce a state where you're easily not within yourself enough... and when you're struggling with wounds within, at the mercy of social connections. I saw how transient/volatile and impermanent the connections you could seek were. And how there were so many unhealthy things to connect to... and how you could chase more and more connections to fill wounded parts within and how trying to connect from a place of deficiency is really unhealthy. You become heavily dependent on connections. "Being alone feels like a problem that needs to be solved. And so people try to solve it by connecting. But here, connection is more like a symptom than a cure. It expresses, but it doesn't solve, an underlying problem. But more than a symptom, constant connection is changing the way people think of themselves. It's shaping a new way of being. You end up isolated if you don't cultivate the capacity for solitude, the ability to be separate, to gather yourself. Solitude is where you find yourself so that you can reach out to other people and form real attachments. When we don't have the capacity for solitude, we turn to other people in order to feel less anxious or in order to feel alive. When this happens, we're not able to appreciate who they are. It's as though we're using them as spare parts to support our fragile sense of self. We slip into thinking that always being connected is going to make us feel less alone. But we're at risk, because actually it's the opposite that's true. If we're not able to be alone, we're going to be more lonely." - Sherry Turkle "Why the pain?" What if we really need to take a step back from the outer world and sit with something within, "why the pain"? Be enough through our pain? You cant go into the suffering with the victim or deficiency mindsets or that will simply consume you with deeper and deeper suffering. When you feel deficient, you set the stage for a hungry ghost where you fill your inner voids of unhappiness and feelings of unwholeness in a multitude of unhealthy ways. While there's a hole you're filling you'll stay in a loop of more and more. We're taught we aren't enough, that there's something wrong with us. That's amplified by stigma and social exclusion. The more we believe that, the more it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. You shrink further and further and fill that place of 'not being enough' with external things, slide into unhealthier and unhealthier ways You stay in deficiency states and poor ability to delay rewards or sit with discomfort - you're permanently on the chase for something to fill a feeling of unworth, poor-self esteem, isolation etc. It's common in every aspect of our society from feeling we 'need a partner' to be complete, to deriving our worth by external things, to 'there's something wrong with you' to every aspect of our life. It's something heavily ingrained in our society that keeps us relentless consumers, often of things that aren't healthy for us, or more than we need. What if you start to think and feel, yeah - I'm hurting and wounded but everything I need to transform that pain is in me. You start to fill the voids from the inside in sustainable and healthy ways? Not saying you don't reach out for help when needed but "you are enough"? If you rely on external things filling those voids, you neglect the impermanence of life. Social settings change, things that provide hope/meaning/purpose can become easily unstable, you're totally on a collision course with going backwards if anything even slightly changes. You live in dependency of being filled from the outside through connections to tackle a fundamental state of inner deficiency What happens when you stop that chase for connections with the outer and instead connect with the wounded parts that feel like they're not enough? You can convince yourself your caring for yourself and you're in self-love but you really need extreme self-compassion. The pain/trauma, shame, the isolation, the anger etc? When we sit with them and transform our inner relationship with them until they're no longer voids of suffering, rather places we feel whole again? That takes acceptance, going into pain and allowing things to transform... I'm not saying you as a stand-alone unit are the complete perfect existence and you don't need to go beyond yourself but "you are enough". "You are enough does not mean that you are a final product, complete and finished, all done growing and changing and learning things" You can get off the constant striving and be OK. You can sit with wholeness of self-care, self-kindness, self-compassion, self-acceptance and self-transformation, self-love etc as a unit of wholeness within yourself. As you take on those traits for yourself, you gain the ability to radiate the same to others.

Thanks for sharing @thegreenriviera One thing about diet changes is you can see how things affect you. Going very minimalistic with food made me see how simple/easily neglected things were driving mood states. One interesting thing is that through a relatively short period of depriving yourself a bit of food, I got a clean slate, not perma-impulsive hunger, to work with. You start to respect how things that you normally dismiss as driving mood changes do play a big role. It's like a nice reset and chance to see how the basics are driving symptoms. I've escaped carbohydrate cravings by eliminating them for awhile and interestingly they haven't returned to crippling levels. A few interesting things I noted: 1. How much those fluctuations in blood sugar do destabilise your mood, change your cognition and how cutting out/reducing/playing with low GI carbs is quite useful just to see how it impacts you 2. Potentially how much changes in electrolytes drive mood changes. I've always supplemented things like calcium/magnesium but overlooked sodium and potassium as driving mood states. 3. How nice a quality planty diet can be for sustained clean sustenance 4. How different fat sources feel and likewise proteins 5. What it's like to experience different states of ketosis Dietary electrolytes are related to mood At the moment, I'm quite interested in what simple electrolytes do for mood and symptoms. For both males and females it is recommended to keep sodium intake below 2,000 mg. Potassium recommendation for males and females are 4,700 mg per day. Magnesium intake for males should be between 330-350 mg per day, and females should intake about 255-265 mg per day. Calcium suggested intake is 800 mg per day for both males and females. Other factors: Dietary patterns seem important in severe mental illness [1] and have in some populations been associated with things like depression, stress and social support satisfaction [2]. Four-Week Supplementation in healthy individuals with a multi-vitamin/mineral preparation treatment was "associated with significantly improved mood, as measured by reduced scores on the "depression-dejection" subscale of the Profile of Mood States" [3] Individual vitamins: Vitamin A: There is a longstanding notion that vitamin A plays a role in psychiatric illness likely based on the profound effects of retinoids on brain development and processes such as long-term potentiation (LTP) and mood regulation. Proposed to be a player and therapeutic in ASD: "supplementation is a reasonable therapy at least for a subset of children with autism" [4]. Vitamin B-group: Thiamine (B1): Exerts antidepressant/anti-stress effects in animal models [5] and improved standard treatment in patients with depression [6] In a small study, thiamine supplementation significantly improved anxiety scores, general well-being and reduced fatigue in patients with Generalised Anxiety Disorder [7] "An improvement in thiamine status was associated with reports of being more clearheaded, composed and energetic. These influences took place in subjects whose thiamine status, according to the traditional criterion, was adequate." [8] Not much has been done on B2 and B3 in psychiatry but they are proposed to play a role. A recent animal study suggests that B2 or B6 vitamins restored the levels of DA and reduced oxidative stress in brain [9] B6: Inadequate amounts of vitamins B6 is linked with a higher incidence of depression and impaired neurotransmitter synthesis. It is proposed to be an effective therapeutic for some women (along with combinations) [10]. Improved attentional performance in males was significantly correlated with increased levels of vitamin B6 B12: Insufficient vitamin B12 status has been linked to poor neurodevelopment and cognitive decline. A significant improvement in depressive symptoms was observed after SSRI and vitamin B12 therapy in one study [11] Folate: see https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/integrative-mental-health-care/201709/folate-depression-schizophrenia-and-dementia Vitamin C: adding vitamin C alone to citalopram did not increase the efficacy of citalopram in MDD patients [12]. That said, in animal models it exerts antidepressant effects dependent on the activation of the opioid system, especially µ-opioid receptors, which might be an indirect consequence of NMDA receptor inhibition elicited by ascorbic acid administration. It may involve an activation of GABAA receptors and a possible inhibition of GABAB receptors, similarly to ketamine. It might be dependent on the activation of PI3K and mTOR, inhibition of GSK-3ß as well as induction of HO-1. These are important mood targets. Vitamin D supplementation, thought to modulate many areas of mental health, is associated with lower depressive and anxiety symptoms in psychotic illness [13] and addition of vitamin D to conventional antidepressive agents can improve antidepressive effect [14]. The core symptoms of ASD fluctuated in severity with changes in serum vitamin D levels in children: high-dose vitamin D3 regimens may ameliorate the core symptoms [15, 16] Vitamin E (α-tocopherol) has been linked to a decrease in the frequency of depressive symptoms. α-tocopherol is a lipid modulator of the cannabinoid system [17] Vitamin E has pain-relieving, antioxidant, antidepressant [18] and anxiolytic-like activities [19]. A low dietary intake of vitamin E is related to altered mood and depression, depression is accompanied by significantly lower serum vitamin E concentrations, vitamin E intake being directly related to the depression score [20].The cognition promoting effects of omega 3 PUFAs may be dietary vitamin E status related [21] and recently, omega-3 and vitamin E co-supplementation was effective in improving parameters of mental health in some individuals with conditions of inflammatory basis [22]. Minerals: Calcium: Ca and Mg may be involved in depression; however there are few data on these mineral nutritional statuses concerning depression and data from human-studies are limited. It thought that Ca intake is related to depression and mental disorders Chromium: Seems to have important effects on insulin signalling and mood. Preclinical and clinical studies reported its potential antidepressant properties [23]. Chromium has shown the most promise for treating subtypes of depression that affect carbohydrate cravings and appetite regulation [24] In some women it "reduced mood symptoms and improved overall health satisfaction" [25] Iodine: Deficiency causes brain structural alterations likely to affect cognition. Low iodine-rich food intake was associated with increased brain volume shrinkage [26] Iron: Human studies link anxiety-driven behaviour and mood changes to poor iron status but excess iron in the brain is detrimental. It is proposed imbalanced iron metabolism plays a role in modulating anxiety and emotional behaviours [27] Magnesium: Magnesium is effective for mild-to-moderate depression in adults. It works quickly and is well tolerated [28] Magnesium influences the neurotransmission involved in emotional processes, such as the serotonergic, noradrenergic, dopaminergic, GABAergic and glutamatergic systems. Potassium: may be useful in the treatment of mood disturbances - low potassium levels may be linked to symptoms of depression. Selenium: "Intake was associated with a general elevation of mood and in particular, a decrease in anxiety." [29] When taking the selenium the subjects reported a substantial improvement in mood at 100 mcg [30] Persons with low selenium status might experience relatively depressed moods [31] That said, another study found "no evidence that selenium supplementation benefited mood or quality of life in these elderly volunteers" [32]. It is suggested to play an important role in psychological functioning [33]. Zinc: Preclinical and clinical studies have demonstrated that zinc possesses antidepressant properties and that it may augment monoamine-based antidepressants [34] Meta-analyses support zinc for depression [35] It is proposed to cause general improvement in neuronal plasticity as well as reduction of neuronal atrophy and neuronal cell loss, modulation of the serotonergic system including postsynaptic 5-HT1ARs with a possible involvement of dopaminergic neurotransmission [36]. Peripheral Zn concentration may play a role in the physiopathology of some domains of cognitive function, "there was a significant positive correlation between plasma Zn levels and the concentration subcategory" [37] Less/other mentioned: Boron: Boron supplementation altered EEG such that there was a shift toward less activity in the low frequencies and more activity in the high, dominant frequencies of the EEG leading to improved psychomotor skill, and cognitive processes of attention and short term memory [38]. Choline sources: "The extent to which higher intakes of choline have the potential to enhance or influence cognition during childhood, adulthood, and/or age-related cognitive decline needs further investigation" [39]. Carotenoids significantly corresponded to global cognitive abilities including verbal learning, verbal fluency, memory recall, processing speed, and perceptual speed. Serum lutein, zeaxanthin, and β-carotene concentrations were most consistently related to better cognition. Serum zeaxanthin had significant relationships with most measures of cognitive function, with higher concentrations being significantly related to global cognitive performance,and better concept formation/abstraction. Serum concentrations of β-carotene were also significantly correlated to most measures of cognitive function. Serum lutein concentrations were significantly related to measures of global cognition, lower dementia severity, and executive function. Carotenoid levels have also been shown to protect cognitive function in older adults with mild cognitive impairment. Supplements have shown strong cognitive enhancement benefits over longer term studies Review on omega-3: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/27472373/ [1] https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/30359969 [2] https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/29113038 [3] https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/pmid/26529011/ [4] https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/29122693 [5] https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/27825907 [6] https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/26984349 [7] https://pdfs.semanticscholar.org/…/53c8c4dbfdccf441a16bcc14… [8] https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/9122365 [9] https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/30413185 [10] https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/28178022 [11] https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3856388/ [12] https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/pmid/25873303/ [13] https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/30245372 [14] https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/29460820 [15] https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/29629638 [16] https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/27868194 [17] https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/21843633 [18] https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/20144659 [19] https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/30251258 [20] https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/28531460 [21] https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/29656360 [22] https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/29306057 [23] https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/24101396 [24] https://www.verywellmind.com/chromium-for-depression-1066922 [25] https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/24237190 [26] https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/29083437 [27] https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4253901/ [28] https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/28654669 [29] https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/1873372 [30] https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/2096413 [31] https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/8717610 [32] https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/16181615 [33] https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/12509066 [34] https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/28299207 [35] https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/28988944 [36] https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/28319749 [37] https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0531556518300639 [38] https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/25063690 [39] https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/29451849

Update on this, be careful with these "trendy" things. I got to quite a deep state of ketosis on this, went from nutritional ketosis to starting to get extremely depriving of food and it started to get to the same level of kind extreme territory I had as a teenager. What are my experiences lately? You can take your consciousness (and suffering) to quite profound, sometimes uplifting and at times very scary places (ie for me going extremely catatonic and in a bad mindset) through these diets that people are broadly normalising and promoting.Yes, you can tap into some spiritual/altered states, maybe lose some weight but also very easily push it to the extreme of depriving yourself to really unhealthy limits, really quickly. It can easily become an eating disorder rather than a health thing, these diets and it's a gradual slide. So while mild nutritional ketosis seems interesting and kind of low GI stuff seems reasonable enough but yeah it easily swings into something less so, particularly for those of us who have struggled with such before... I still feel the most healthy thing to do is change your relationship to food in a healthy way. Get some greater impulse control gradually, cut out unhealthy things and if you want, try something mild like intermittent fasting if depriving yourself takes your fancy.

Please keep it to legal things to do with isopropyl

Hi All. My community plant extracts died when people stopped that from eventuating but in that process, there was a rebirth. I went on a spirited journey to find my Heart and Soul. It's in helping people who are in the hells like I experienced for so long. Not packing small quantities of samples at cost for people. I've also started my own therapeutic community, Adelaide Therapy for Soul Community on facebook for all, including the disadvantaged to get together in the botanic gardens with soulful therapy in mind. Join in if you're in Adelaide. Lately I have developed a deep relationship with Cacao. I have been working on a therapy chocolate, rich in flavonols and alkaloids + minerals which is exceedingly hearty and therapeutic. It has helped me, now I want others to experience this medicine. I've been working on admixtures and noticed how Cacao when enriched with alkaloids is like a gatekeeper to a therapeutic heart-space for those feeling disconnected from themselves and community... the admixtures take it deeper... I think a Heart-strengthening legal therapy chocolate is highly viable. I see this as a potent catalytic therapy ally. In my goal to work with people in real rockbottom states who are totally disconnected from their selves, Hearts and those trying to help them, if we can catalyse a step towards connection, within oneself and mirrored by a supportive community, I see we can jump start new directions in life. These suffering souls, like I was, are severely hardened off, I aim to open them up to love. A mission to bring disadvantaged people to the Heart and into Community. I want to expand my heart space more to offer others the chance for Chocolate Therapy, I'll aim to run at a donation going towards costs. I'm going to invest a bit getting this happening and run at a loss. It sounds insane but after seeing how potently therapeutic a change I can make in my life through plant allies, I want to do the same for others and inspire a shift towards such healing, legally. Seeing I'm mainly wanting to cater to people where money is already an issue, I can't ask for money. I just ask that people use this medicine to inspire real life heart changes. That said, I will open myself to external donations from others if they want to support such a mission. I'm going to use a GoFundMe page to inspire grassroots cacao therapy for the disadvantaged. GoFundMe's fee is 5% from each donation you receive. The payment processor fee is 2.25% + $0.30 per donation. If you want to be more direct and know me, do it that way. PM me for paypal details! All donations are strictly for expanding my medicine circle. All funds will support local suppliers and ethical cacao products Not expecting I'll recover costs but this is a mission from the Heart, not the pocket so that's cool. Much love and gratitude for any support you can offer! ~~~ Cacao therapy is so synergistic as a whole medicine for the Soul. Extracting just the alkaloids takes part of the magic out but it looks like spicing up the magic of the raw cacao flavonols with solid levels of spirited methylxanthines is really therapeutic... A substantial interaction between cocoa flavanols and methylxanthines exists at the level of absorption, in which the methylxanthines mediate an increased plasma concentration of (-)-epicatechin metabolites that coincides with enhanced CNS/vascular effects commonly ascribed to cocoa flavanol intake. MTXs act through a variety of different molecular mechanisms: mobilization of intracellular calcium, inhibition of phosphodiesterases (PDEs), modulation of gamma-amino butyric acid (GABAA) receptors, inhibition of high affinity ATP-dependent cyclic nucleotide transporters and antagonism of adenosine receptors. The plasma levels that could be reached under dietary regimes and the fact that MTXs readily cross the blood-brain barrier indicate that these drugs inhibit adenosine receptors in the CNS; higher doses may be required to mobilize intracellular calcium, inhibit PDEs or modulate GABAA receptors, or to unselectively inhibit ABCC5 and ABCC4 transporters. Moreover, despite the physiological relevance, also under scrutiny is how caffeine, theobromine and theophylline are able to interact with native double helical DNA Cocoa and chocolate are not just treats -- they are good for your cognition: https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2017/06/170629101648.htm Health benefits of methylxanthines in neurodegenerative diseases: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/28074613 PM me if you can support this mission. Love and best wishes! https://www.gofundme.com/cacao-therapy-for-the-ill

I call this one "The Journey of an Upside Down Heart to Love and Spirit" It's been through the plants, Milly, family and support of my friends, I've gone from abysmal darkness to find a place of growth and upward evolution. I really struggled from an early age. It's been slow, bit of up and down but as you grow and regain conscious choice from long-term illness, you find a good place. I'm really new to any sort of creativity, I'm not an artist but this is like the way it feels to, through nature and lovely souls, grow into healthier place. This not a tea, just a mindful moment of reflection on Life. I've found deep healing in a mild plant spirit medicine approach. I've modified this from here: How to Connect with Plant Allies Our Plant Allies captivate us through our senses first, and then when we slow down enough to look deeper, we become engaged on a soul level. This is the heart of plant spirit medicine. Immersed in the energy of a Plant ally, we begin to get a glimpse of the world through it's eyes. We begin to understand an aspect of being-ness in a new way that we hadn’t seen before. We can apply this to our lives, the cycles we go through, our relationship patterns and habits of thought. When we are in creative mode, we are able to simultaneously give and receive. We give the Plant our awareness and attention, and we receive its healing vibrations and messages. As we create, we clear space within ourselves to listen. Find a way to work with you plant allies as to engage creatively. You are observing the plant in fine detail, etching it into your memory, and creating pathways between its image, your heart, and hands. You will be connected again to your experience with the plant, remember, and practice bringing it's vibration into your everyday thoughts, perceptions, and decisions. Trust your intuition and your unique creative process, as we interact more and more with our plant friends, we receive more and more ideas of how to interact creatively. As your energy and your plant friends energy merges, you begin to co create and manifest your most exquisite visions of harmony. It is helpful at this time to observe the thoughts, feelings, perceptions and sensations that arise in the body in response to the Plant. This information holds seeds of consciousness about how we can grow spiritually/emotionally in the area that comes to mind. The intuitive connection that is made between observation of the Plant and observation of oneself is a catalyst for a new cycle of awareness and understanding. Study a plant in its natural environment. Plants give us clues to help us identify how they might help us. By observing a Plants colour, shape, growth pattern and environment, we gather information and begin to make a connection with something we already know. ~~~ Today a mindful tea before I ventured into the World, fresh from the garden, for finding my Wings, a spiritual soul ascension tea. It's not just a procognitive nootropic tea, it's a spiritual tea. I really enjoy getting creative in the garden and making just simple sustainable medicinally healing teas. This one establishes connection between Earth, Self and the Heavens. Morning glory represents love, affection and longing but in a spiritual way, this represents my spiritual connection to Milly. Ginkgo also associated with duality, a concept that recognises the female and male aspects of all living entities and that is often expressed as yin and yang. Ginkgo celebrates duality that could be reunited in a single entity. For centuries, the ginkgo tree has been considered a symbol of hope and peace Brahmi is a Sanskrit word derived from “Lord Brahma” or “Brahman”. Lord Brahma is the divinity responsible for all of the creative forces in the world Basil Is a symbol of love and good wishes· Symbolises Love and good wishes, herbs of kings - love, holiness, purity, and sanctity Sage has a protective effect, "to save" Gardenia is one of the most frequently used herbs in Chinese medicine.

I still have moments I tune into these things, lately endogenously I found myself spontaneously creating a chakra Full Moon Mandala Did some reading, surely I'm not the only one who does these things? "The season of Spring presents a time for us to align with our inner truth, the seeds inside of us waiting to blossom with the droplets of rain and sun. One of my most loved rituals is the practice of creating an Earth Mandala, a Healing Circle, a Flower of Life, a cosmic diagram connecting us to the Universal oneness. It is an offering of prayer and love to Mother Earth and the Spirit of the land where you live. This ritual was inspired by the sacred Andean Despacho ceremony of the Inka tradition. Since ancestral times, people of the Andes have used this ceremony to connect themselves with the harmony of nature and to live in Ayni, in reciprocity and right relationship. To practice Anyi is to acknowledge the interconnection between human beings and the natural world that sustains us. In Peru, a Despacho ceremony is performed by the Q’ero shaman to honor Pachamama, Mother Earth or the Apus, the Mountain Spirits. Using various natural elements as offerings to represent the stars, rivers, clouds… the shaman creates a three dimensional Mandala composition as a symbolic act of respect for all of life." https://puakaihealing.com/earth-mandala/ I've been experiencing a strong connection to the natural world lately, plants, birds etc. "When a feather arrives for you, Spirit is reminding you of your spiritual origins and deep connection to your home beyond earthly realms." "Feathers come to us as gifts. They come from the sky, from the sea, from trees and deep grasses, even appearing within enclosed spaces never inhabited by winged creatures. They come to us unexpectedly, but not without purpose. Their messages may be startling, soothing or sudden, but they are always an opportunity for seeing – for finding answers to questions we may not even have known we were asking. What, then, is a feather? It is a part of a bird’s body, and it is a part of us. It exists for itself, to serve its primary purpose in the cosmos, and it exists in alliance with every other aspect of the cosmos. Just as we bring life-inspiring messages for others while simply fulfilling our own lives, so do feathers bring their messages to us. They remind us that we walk in a world overflowing with meaning." https://www.shamanicquest.co.uk/blog/2017/05/15/Shamanic-Practice-And-Feathers.aspx

I too like to see birds symbolically and as spiritual messengers. I've also been feeling attunement to all animals/insects on a deeper level. I feel it's more a personal relationship that you find in their presence than any general one but just observing the bird can form some relevant "lesson" or insight. For example, some have taught me that I need to be more friendly with their general friendly nature. Others reaching for higher transcendence of self through their flight A more detatched view on the earthly pleasures and greater spirit etc There's plenty on spiritual views on the net but see what inner work it brings to your awareness?

This one - the dragonfly - came to me in a time where I was embracing change - new place, new attitudes, new behaviour, new light "...change what needs to be changed, survive, become better, and flourish!"

You can eat the kale, do the meditations, sip on the plant medicine but how healing is that really? I got disenchanted with 'plant medicine' as it was often turning into a bunch of band-aid experiences and pits of continuous self-medication. I saw lots of people embarking on the same loop, it seemed to be a pathway of less healing than expected. Anyone else found that? I think we've often lost some aspect of simply nurturing something that doesn't give back to us with food or medicine etc. A deeper connection to the Web of Life. I started growing some non-medicinals, things that weren't providing me with anything, and noticed something... From the butterfly attracting Milkweed to Milly's forget-me-nots to Acacias I'd never had any interest in... In the past, a plant's worth was dictated to me by what it could do for food or medicine, a very ego-centric view on the plant. There was nothing spiritual or worthwhile about a plant being simply a living entity, the essence of respect was often not there/not as deep - what did it do for us other than provide a bit of oxygen?!? It's "just a plant"... I was centred around always taking something from a plant, be it food, medicine, boosts in self etc. If we treat humans in such a way, constantly dictating their worth by what they can do "for me/us" and with limited respect for their unique worthwhile existence, that's a very unhealthy view that's all too prevalent in society - I believe our human relationships are often mirrored in the way we treat the Earth. If we flip that "for me/us" around into what we can do "for them" without expectation of something in return, that's the start of some healing. In that flip, you also seemingly make room for healthy natural reciprocity Today I see the worth of a plant beyond that narrow view. I'm starting to nurture something that I don't expect anything in return from. The essence of each plant has it's own gift, beyond a phytopharmacological or nutritional cocktail, and deserves respect - a more eco-centric and spirited view Looking forward to Trees for Life

Well said @Inyan Coming from only ever being interested in plants for medicinal aspects, to then finding the enjoyment of creating that nourishing connection to food, I always dismissed anything else as aesthetic gardening and pointless. Not saying food/medicine isn't important, I'm just surprised to find how the act of relationship with something that won't deliver a therapeutic brew or even food really breaks the addictive consumption mindset - something I was always struggling with

Keep us in the loop on any improvements or anything you note @Xperiment. I doubt you got up to as much thiamine depleting shenanigans as I did but if you did, be liberal with doses... Longer term, I've noted it's not the panacea for me - don't expect it to be - if I get stressed I get symptom flares but they actually resolve over a bit of time whereas before nothing would shift a continuous spiral down.