Gem, I'm sorry to hear you've been feeling so crushed. I apologise that I neglected to use Christian's name when referring to him and I also apologise that this has affected you so. If you would still like to come but feel weirded out talking to Christian's other friends for whatever reason, I'd be very glad to sit with you and listen to your venting. This is not condescending; I can see quite clearly how intensely your emotions are influencing the way you respond to strangers and this is undoubtedly very painful. Let me explain a little bit more. I don't place "Vipassana" as the reason for this coming about in my mind. I place the reason squarely on the mysterious inter-dimensional opening that comes with any level of dissolution of the illusion of the ego, whether that be through the observing of sensation that is characteristic of Vipassana bollocks, or fasting, or psychedelics, or sleep deprivation, or any of the Mahayana or Vajrayana traditions of meditation. Such as it is, the universe and I conspired to create a situation in my sleeping mind in which I travelled to this event and met a bunch of people who I "know" from other dimensions. If the inter-dimensional constellation that represents Christian's legacy is looking down upon the state of affairs and noticed a random traveller bard sage gypsy thing in bright attire meditating, having a spark of realisation, and wandering colourfully into his inner circle, I highly doubt that his reaction would be anything more serious than delighted bemusement. You can rest assured that I will treat this event with the same level of respect as I perceive; I will blend with the vibes as much as I can and listen with humility to the stories of this great human who's name is Christian.
Mettā! <3