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The Corroboree

Meditator

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Everything posted by Meditator

  1. Meditator

    Sunshine Coast meet (QLD)....

    Hey anyone coming now, were moving down to the bottom and off to the right. Theres a picnic table there. Meet us there.
  2. Meditator

    Sunshine Coast meet (QLD)....

    Geeze hurry up guys im already here waiting
  3. Meditator

    Sunshine Coast meet (QLD)....

    Hey guys im coming to
  4. Meditator

    Meet up: Brisbane

    Chances are ill be going.
  5. Meditator

    Meet up: Brisbane

    Well it was only if he was going.
  6. Meditator

    Nothing is fun anymore :(

    Magic mushrooms and bungeejumping! Or skydiving.
  7. Meditator

    Nothing is fun anymore :(

    This reverts back to one of my points in what i am displaying through linguistic peotry if you could catch it. Your perception may be blocked at an insult that was rather a silly joke. Even knowingly, letting the mind slip into negativity rather than intelligent reflection. After negativity you look back over everything and see nothing but stupid nonsense most likely if that is what you feel. Which i doubt a bit. The same goes for thoughts during meditation. Dont slip into negativity. And dont get caught on the thought that bliss is far away. Your mood can be shifted to positive with subtle techniques such as the taoist inner smile technique. Or letting intimate love intelligence express itself in feeling and thought. Whatever is blocking you needs intelligence (open percpetion rather) to be unblocked.. And even more to gain insight into what was even blocking you and why. If youre stuck in a certain mode (which i feel you are) getting shifted mentally whilst absorbed in abstract thinking of a speaker speaking abstract poetic (and encoded with intelligence possible to gain insight from) verses of differant kinds giving you the differant tastes of what he is talking of yet not directly speaking of is just how i was pointing you at your own mind. If you didnt let go of pesimist (or relative [joke]) he takes over and you see what he chooses to see and let go of what i am trying to bring to you. You look back over everything and say one thing yet it comes from his mouth! Whether it be in your head or from your head "Idiot" Noticing subtle shifts in perception due to absorption in the imagination is just one means to realizing your mental freedoms. Imagine if you could lucid dream at will? Youd be pretty happy wouldnt you. Shift your experience in the direction of the result you want. You just imagined you would be happy if you could lucid dream.. Be happy like the guy you imagined. That happy guy is you. You are stuck on pesimist (even if slightly, he blocks more than youd think). And he is in disbelief and negativity. Dont let him hijack your mood and row your boat. Dreams are of positivity and high imagination (and even abstract thought.. Mirrors.. Staircases leading back to the top.. Time travelling to kill your parents... You get this im sure.. If not.. LSD and alice in wonderland). How can a pesimist dream when he is stuck in his mental block. That mental block blocks dreams of positivity with delight at its own pesimistic views. Dont you think even falsly believing (and honestly believing) that you are going to dream tonight and be lucid with due excitement would make you more happy than pesimist.. And much more likely to dream. Im just trying to melt your ice so you can see the nature of water. Make a declining abstract path for it to flow so you can see the nature of not just the water but the flow. You said you were interested in meditation. If you reject this you are rejecting the essence of what it may teach you. I ask you shift your perception from pesimist (or relative) to wonderer even day dreamer when you read these words. Do you know the dreamer in you? For adrenaline (more like chi) you may benefit from practicing martial arts though and becoming the flow itself. That get literal epinephrine flowing through your veins and your heart pumping. Maybe chi kung.. And if you dare to venture with boldness.. Tai chi. When movement becomes ecstacy gi gong is cool even if you dont know how to do it. Even tai chi is cool. Its like dancing.. If you are ecstatic you dont care if you look like an idiot.. And noone else does and that makes your dancing that much better. Because it is honest expression of how your feeling. If self conscious in mind, that becomes expressed. Better to just do with no mind. Same with meditation at times. Christ i write long stuff.. Im gonna leave this thread before someone feels like im hijacking it. Re-read if you want to venture out of your own trapped state like i do. And good luck.
  8. Meditator

    Nothing is fun anymore :(

    By the way if you are in any way shape form or dimension avoiding your feelings and emotions and the intimate reality of these feelings you need to stop. Honestly repressing nothing can be hard. Let flow. Honestly sometimes you start crying. It teaches you a lot. If you are afraid of that or avoid it even being a possiblity subconsciously, know that. Know why. If you are afraid of your own intimate love intelligence you need healing there friend. I can tell you that simply.
  9. Meditator

    Nothing is fun anymore :(

    Honestly that may be a good thing. Im not going to say dont waste your time if youre not going to dedicate to it. But i am. Meditation isnt a quick fix sort of thing. Sometimes people sit once and it just happens. For others... Like me... You have to experience hell and understand it. Understanding it helps you unblock and relax. You may benefit from leaving it and coming back to it. Ill give you a scientific understanding of breathing meditation. Slow deep breathing calms and balances the nervous system. Slow deep breathing engages, relaxes, and activates the diaphram muscle. Slow deep breathing activates the vagus nerve (very interesting! Very valuable information to know, i encourage you to do a bit of research on this nerve). It activates the parasympathetic nervous system. Which in turn has a very relaxing refreshing sensation. The vagus nerve also activates the sympathetic branch. Diaphramic breathing if done loosens and moves and compesses the kidneys(and adrenals) and liver. This can release adrenaline and lower chortesol at the same time. Releasing adrenaline (with lower chortesol) enhances your awareness if done right. To do this is properly you need to make use of your sympathetic. To make use of your sympathetic properly takes control. Control of sympathetic functions takes parasympathetic balance and control. When the nervous system is calm.. It is sensitive and responsive to impulses. Its more sensitive to adrenaline. So to make your nervous systems sympathetic function more effectient (and controlled) there is the parasympathetic. Balance your parasympathetic and sympathetic nervous function whilst calming your nervous system. The vagus nerve goes through the heart lungs diaphram and into the stomach and the nerves even reach the lower intestines amd gentials. When you use parasympathetic breathing you active a part of the sexual function of the nervous system. You can take a deep breath like an orgasm and litterally have an orgasm tingle through your dingle. You sound like you need to resensitize yourself to your sympathetic nervous response first. Dont be afraid of the feminine nature of the parasympathetic effecting your whole body. You may become tingly. Slow (lengthen and deepen) your breathing slowly over many minutes (you need to become comfortable and learn this technique well.. It comes with practice). Once you learn how to use that knowledge. Take a deep breath. Just smile. With honesty, and trust ^^ let it sink into your whole nervous system and recalibrate your vehicles fine tuning. Exhale. Yes i know i said this was scientific (and it was) but that really does have an effect. That is a quick fix. Come back and re read this stuff when you have realized and automatically overcome the thickness of your skull. I dont think youre a thick head by the way. You seem more dense hahah..
  10. Meditator

    Nothing is fun anymore :(

    Well next time you smoke the ganj and relax your brain, let your imagination tickle your receptors in unison with the thoughts and words as you follow the mouths and thoughts being projected within the sounds (haha not just the words, the actual sound can have more meaning than the words, like a shouted [word] means shit compared to the vocalized sound holding the true feeling) that they are communicating to you. Let the imagination tickle your relaxed brain, the relaxation (parasympathetic, feminine, sensitive) is the letting go of the thought of your bondage and freedom lost. Ice. Clear the mind and let flow. Water. Once sensitized in that instant you are free like a kite, yet your mental winds still blow between past and future and at worst how shit now is. At best you understand what is happening. That tickle of your imagination is your internal higher dimensional wind.. Tickle meets sensitive = laughter. Laughter can be hell. Think if that sensitive point where a weak meridian (or your nads) and the tickle were a quick precise shot of 200 pounds of force with a fist. If you can see the variability youre loosening your minds stuckness. That feeling is a freedom. Let go of the pesimist in you and listen to the child wondering what kind of a mad man or fool could possibly mean by this babble. Point your experience in the direction of understanding me by letting go of pesimist and letting in the wonderous child. Your pesimist (or what other variable forms of what i talk of [which are within you]) is a stuck desensitized fool. Your child is sensitive and needs no ego to have his genius and understanding. The ego holds knowing. The child has and needs not hold anything but the smile as he looks at a fool. So smile. Maybe you just need to laugh at yourself like a child for a bit. If you catch my drift... And im sure you do on this one.. You will see why this is an intelligent thing to do. Im trying to give you the real way into meditation in my experience. REALIZATION OF WHAT AND WHY YOUVE BECOME BLOCKED IN THIS MOMENT. If you were not blocked you wouldnt have trouble meditating. In the moment anyone reads what ive wrote and understands.. They have unblocked and tapped into a certain intelligence. Youre block is.. Knowing.. You are not free. Acceptance is knowledge of heart wisdom. The heart knows it has to accept what is and do its job. When it accepts this and lets go of thoughts of "why do i even beat" and it just beats.. It will start to really feel its own beat.. And in that moment will know why it beats. Passion found. Reason to live/be found. Nothing more to think or knowing to search for the heart. It beats. The heart cannot know this through thought and logic. It may think "i beat". But it will miss it completely and think "to pump blood". The doing is where the experience is and the mind is something differant than the thought "i beat" When the heart thinks i beat it misses nearly everything... But when it beats holding no thought.. Nothing but what is(which is experience without thought). That flow is mushin. No mind. In the moment. That leads to realization. You feel you need guidance in meditation. If a master were to guide you, you need to understand that even if a master of meditation were present teaching you a certain relaxation and breathing, you may experience something. The teachers presence holds and resonates this knowledge. It is a re-assurance in your mind. The mind lets go. A mad man talks, the mind is assured this man knows nothing but delusion far far from reality. Know your mind and behind its reason for thoughts. Dude im like giving you a code cracker to your own brain here. How old do you think i am? I ask you to reflect on this now because i just reffered to you as something a teenager would say. A teenager is assumed to hold little wisdom. But when you read my words what do you feel. Do you feel the heart of a teenager with undeveloped wisdom or a fool who doesnt know how to use linguistic precision for his mission? By that i mean i chose that word over others in a foolish manner. Meaning if i had of reffered to you as say man or even brother, my goal of pursaiding you that i hold certain wisdom that you will benefit from knowing. Im not trying to pursaid you, but your mind into letting my words in. Re read that sentence now, and replace dude with brother and take out the like. Now imagine how your mind would have accepted those words. Know yourself and your mind. Crack your own codes and take control of the computer. Are you starting to get it? If so re-read what i wrote on the previous page. If not.. Well either inquire or just forget this. Feel your own presence in meditation. Your presence isnt your ego. Your presence isnt "i feel depressed". It in its pure form doesnt hold these or any thought. It can. But letting these flow down stream and wash away is part of meditation. Once you are more purely you, your true presence void of thoughts good or bad becomes dominant in experience. That is meditation. The experience if happened with awareness, comes with certain realization. Possibly even satori. I preffer not to talk zen though. And it is a double edged sword for perausding your mind. I will leave you with these words of wisdom from my heart though that came upon reading your response. You should know you are needed for this world to function. Not to bring up thoughts of duty, but maybe to find pride in why your heart beats.
  11. Meditator

    Meet up: Brisbane

    I am. I'd appreciate a ride if anyone in my area goes. I forget who (no disrespect to anyone.. Only one i remember is gtarman. Im bad with names) but there was a member who went to one of the last meets who lives in my area, he goes maybe i could get a ride with him? When should this be? Where? And of course who's comming?
  12. Meditator

    Nothing is fun anymore :(

    Yeah youre right about the 70-30 ratio possibly being too much or too little. There is no set 100 percent Sativa or Indica dominant strain. Its actually a bit ridiculous to even make that ratio. There would be a ratio in every strain obviously and even the soo called 90 percent strains have been altered through breeding to the point where the natrual DNA formation that made original Indica/Sativa bud unique is lost and the new DNA would just be somewhere between with a really high % of "THC" or cannabanoids. Although the "THC:CBD" ratio is very real and a more scientific and useful method. No real doctor of medicine would say "you need a 70:30 ratio sativa indica strain" because a real doctor would have the intelligence to know thats actually inacurate. Actually i think it depends on strain more than just sativa/indica/ruderalis/afghanicka dominanace. Some strains of Indica can give you a psychedelic head high that will make you look twice at your but (edit:bud). The afghanicka-sativa buds look like a funky indica and in my experience those buds can be pretty crazy. And by crazy i mean you can litterally feel your grip on sanity loosening or dissolving in a almost unsafe way, i do not doubt those strains can send a person psychotic. A strong indica in my experience just doesnt do that to me, quite the opposite. Science backs me up with the CBD ratio being many times higher. But thats just my experience, these things effect all people differant. The science of marijuana medication is still in the process of perfection. For now all we can do is take little hits of differant strains and feel what resonates with us best really.
  13. Meditator

    Nothing is fun anymore :(

    Btw its impossible to be depressed while listening to this song. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=SPlQpGeTbIE
  14. Meditator

    Nothing is fun anymore :(

    Hey if you need something to help OCD and your inability to sit still with comfortability, id suggest the amino acid L-Glutamine. Aswell as a magnesium supplement. These both work wonders for both problems. The second problem sounds like a form of neuronal dysfunction imbalancing your central and peripheral nerves and brain. Sounds like restless leg syndrome ^^ This causes your NMDA receptors to just go haywire. Both magnesium and glutamine work on NMDA receptors. Both are good for depression btw. Glutamine is a precusor for GABA. Do you enjoy alcohol and benzos? GABA is what those work with. Alcohol works on NMDA receptors aswell and alcohol abuse can cause them to become desensitized and damaged even. If that turkey is related to the alcoholic drink because you like alcohol.. Your serotonin may never have been the problem. GABA and epinephrine and possibly testosterone couldve been, this all relate indirectly to dopamine. Alcohol disrupts the function of epinephrine on the liver. Unhappy liver fucks with the brain. Maybe your liver is talking to you. Liver and iron are directly connected to yknow. Low iron low testosterone connection? Alcohol turns testosterone to estrogen to.. And one last suggestion would be L- Theanine from green tea. That stuff works on the NMDA receptors... That stuff is psychoactive no doubt. Green tea is actually quite a powerful drug... Ive got like a pound of the good shit commin in the mail.. Matcha! 3 cups of that stuff and my alpha brain waves increase (an effect of theanine)to the point where my vision expands like ive taken some powerful drug no joke. Hope this helps. EDIT: btw this NMDA receptor connection is in need of more information. NMDA receptors are like secondary messangers to dopamine. They are connected in function. I believe the mu opiate receptors also are connected. Do you remember when DXM was really popular and ketamine was all the rave (yes that was a joke) and people were talking about these two like people talk about DMT now? I remember in that time seeing numerous posts of studies on both drugs due to their direct Antagonist action to the NMDA receptors. Ketamine in particular was researched and found that small doses basically eleviated depression instantly! And people were finding that microdoses of DXM daily not only helped depression but also boosted their cognitive capacitiy like the racetams were a joke. L glutamine is safe in doses up to 20 grams daily. Much more actually. Some body builders use over 50 a day i hear. Id reccomend if you wanted to try supplementing glutamine 1 gram with each meal. The differance is subtle. 5 grams of L-Glutamine honestly in my experience its like 5 mg of valium minus the slowing and motor effects. Its very very good for you too. The immune boost of glutathione helps depression aswell. DXM btw.. Was what they made when they made codeine cough syrup prescription. They needed an effective supressent OTC so they altered the opiate molecular structure in such a way that instead of hitting the mu opiate receptors it hit the NMDA. And it was quite effective. Oh but they didnt see the abuse comming did they... SSRIS with dxm IS NOT SAFE though. Dont try that. If you want to rebalance yourself neurologically you should get mutiple opinions and views before you do anything btw. Your doctor sounds like he still thinks your serotonin is the problem.. Not to discredit him but doctors seem to have this really unevolved idea that serotonin is the only factor in mood. When i see that i usually discredit them instantly a bit.
  15. Meditator

    Nothing is fun anymore :(

    Hah im already in bed. Who needs sleep. Yeah i totally agree with mutant. Indica marijuana can be a very mellow feminine intimate experience of feeling or full blown stoned eye lids drooping to the floor. And stoned with depression can turn very bad. I know myself. Good sativa strains of weed can make one more energetic giggly and mentally brightly aware. I always preffered sativa. Its heady like i am. Always loved that psychedelic touch of "my head feels like its part of the things im looking at and the air itself.. Even the room" phenomena. And my body being lower than my head (in an abnormal way) lol. I litterally felt high. Havent seen good sativa since i moved here though Only set back to sativa is that if youre not good with weed.. The anxiety from sativa can actually be really bad. I had to lay off bush, and bud in general. Bush is sativa dominant. I wouldnt go to drugs though.. Getting of zoloft isnt a joke.. That shit sent my insane insane ... I felt high and sick.. And mentally unwell... Oh god i was on it for like a week and took myself off it. You dont want to be messing with your neurological functions with drugs dude. Taper off first... Atleast to a low dose. Zoloft is one that can do damage if you cold turkey that shit i think. If you do something man.. This may sound a bit silly.. But low doses of mushrooms. Pscilocybin that is. Do you know how you react to them? Ive actually never done them but i have my reason for saying this. I remember there was a post saying that mushrooms like turned the negative amygdala (emotional brain part.. Part of a ventricle or something) responses off. Basically liberating your emotional energy ,mind and freeing you from negativity. But also this will cause the receptors to work and not desensitize. turn them on and make them active yknow. Id do it with meditation and music. Im talking like a dry gram of cubensis or less. Unless you want to trip ofc. A trip a week with microdoses (1/4th or so of dried cubes) during the next couple days after might actually be beneficial. Id suggest staying away from weed and alcohol though whilst tapering. If you were to use weed youd want medical grade shit man. 60/40 70/30 sativa indica bud. Youd only want small doses through the day. Maybe indica at night too. But getting the right stuff for you sounds like a longshot.. And honestly you dont need it. And settling for anything but the right strain for you is in my opinion foolish. Btw mutant im pretty sure its sativa that runs the risk of psychosis. I know from my own experience for example. I use to smoke the headiest sativa you'd find. Also Indica strains actually contain the cannabanoids that have been under study for use as antipsychotic medication (CBD for example is found in much higher amounts in indica). I dont doubt wrong use of shitty grown not flushed indica hydro can fuck with you and your body and even brain though. Every like second weekend would be safe but being a stoner on that stuff just isnt smart. Ive never had good indica that would cause a person to experience a psychotic episode.
  16. Meditator

    Nothing is fun anymore :(

    The secrets of meditation are learnt through experience. And knowing the mind. Knowing how to be the one driving the experience instead of being pulled into a boring experience. There are numerous methods and philosophies about it.. And a whole lot to be learnt from it. Just learn to point your experience in the direction of the goal you want to attain would be my first tip for a beginner. To point your experience is a learning process. Understand what i mean though.. Catch my drift as if the voice in your head knew exactly what it meant. That in itself is a form of pointing your experience in a direction. Learning to will and let yourself relax is another good one (by that i mean the first is a sort of mental understanding as i gave above). Trusting in yourself, that you already have the ability to relax and let yourself be without strain is another. You know it is needed for the experience to be total. Learn to let go of not trusting in your ability. If you can learn to let go of what is not needed, you will sharpen your mind, and sharpen your awareness. If you sharpen a pencil more often whilst drawing you will be able to draw sharper, thinner, and more defined lines making a more exact picture. But you can waste time and sharpen the pencil with every 2 lines. Although some might say its not a waste though. Others will say thats foolish. Once the artist is balanced though, he knows how he can work his passion into his art. If it takes a decade to draw a goldfish though... You are a fool. Or mad. So therefor i say genius. Seeing what others cannot. Haha if you cherish the goldfish the fools are the ones wasting their energy calling you a fool making themselves negative. The bright ones are the ones who get it and laugh with true delight at it and find the goldfish to be a golden idea. They are the ones who know the artist. And dont need to have his art explained to him. Resistance is pretty much always an experience you can learn from. In general. In breathing. In meditation. In resistance. If you're resisting resistance your trying to extinguish flame with flamethrower. Ohh and if you are worried about the sexual problems, ive found relaxation can turn into a sexual experience. The experience for me is less about physical experience though and more about your consciousness becoming feminine and intimate with the body. It can be healing. Also magnesium ^^ that helps deep relaxation. Ive found my own sort of zen.. While youre still on the brainwave from the last paragraph, think about this for a while if you care to pick up some of my crazy.. Sometimes you need to loose your mind to find it. Find what you will in my words. The orgasm isnt the point. The orgasm isnt the point, but it can be. But the orgasm isnt the point... Not for me. Not for me atleast. Atmost i say there is hidden intimacy in the experience. That is the essence that i find most reason in. Sex? Get your head out of the gutter(boy). Im talking of experience in general you fool. Foolish are the hooligans loose in your head. Although i guess i lead you on with the orgasm.. Were talking about meditation here for goodness sake. If you can catch my drift. The first line "the orgasm isnt the point". But to some it is and for some it is and that may be why they lack the other. By the way i dont think ive written a single line of poetry in my life before this post. You see what happens when you play with your mind? Its not (it is) a toy.. Its a tool. I wrote all of that just now. Well just before.. Which was only a couple moments ago. Well.. I "came across" with the koanlikezenmadhatterriddle thing of a thought mind find "the orgasm isnt the point" a while ago.. Befriend the mad hatter if youre bored.. Just keep your witts about you. and if the orgasm is your point.. Stop pointing.. Thats just one point. Dont rush.. Right now you're missing the orgasm.. That is if you're not orgasming already? Im sure you feel it though.. Or..Maybe you dont even know you are orgasming. Maybe try breathing slow and deeply for a bit.. No really... Did it feel good? That goodness held the thought of the orgasm we are speaking of. That goodness is only a thought itself though. Experience the thinking of the thinker who is orgasming if you can. You may not be the thinker of the thought. So therefor not the direct orgasmer. oh.. if you did not orgasm though.. You have some work to do. Think about it. Sometimes i orgasm to my own insanity for shits and giggles. Im generally happy. Sometimes ecstatic. I dont blame you if you only read this once.. Or not at all actually. But i honestly hope you got a (the) good shit giggle out of it. That way you know youve learnt something. And i feel for you this may be very valuable. Still, if i were to think of myself as some kind of master and you a honest person trying to find understanding and insight into orgasm.. So that you may harness and learn the secret to the ultimate next level of orgasming.. Id whisper in your ear "you are noble in your pursuit youngster.. But in my experience.. The orgasm isnt the point.. Your blowing your air to the wrong fire.. I wish you well, im like 200.. Go away im gonna die now" Your stuck mind causes suffering friend. Let flow. Ice if left alone melts and drips back to earth and ocean as water. Your grasping onto thoughts of how do i do this take away from the doing of that moment of just being. begginers mind. No mind. People say find your balance. But there i see ice. Better yet, find your chaos. Knowing chaos you know balance with a differant perspective. A more valuable perspective. Like orgasming sexually (chaos) to cuddling with your wife in the afterglow.. Cherishing the moment knowing this is how you want to live and why you love (your balance) All in the realm of thought. I grasp at my insanity trying to find a way into my sane. Gotta admit ive found quite a bit. Goodluck if you wish to enter the realm of the heady. The voices in my head taught me that the intelligence of humour is.. And yes i love sativa. No im not high. Seriously if you read this whole thing only once youre probably going to think i need help. Let go of that thought and read again if so. And trust me you will learn. But if you dont you wont.. Because the learning comes through experience. Im just trying to give you the experience. Its up to you to catch the drift and make use of the tool. If a drift is a whisp of wind (in elemental knowledge the element of wind is thought(mental) energy.. So this pun is deeper than simple foolish insane talk, the whisp of wind is a thought) or multiple whisps of wind, let your mind be like water and become both the water and the boat. Balance. Both the sail and the wind. Balance. Both the sailor and the sea.... Passion Dont repress anything.. And you may cry.. You may orgasm.. You may rethink your entire life with the single experience you gain in those moments of observation of your experience. But im not typing this to give you your mid life crysis (unless your already having it). Im here to give you the realization that meditation is about learning to know your experience and yourself honestly in every moment. You are deluded if you think ignorance is bliss. Bliss is knowing your experience intimately. Bliss is knowing that the intimacey is not the orgasm but the moment is. Bliss is in every moment. Grasping at either bliss or intimacey is.. Grasping at wind. Your hands are useless. But you can sail the sea with your boat. The master sailor knows how to steer the boat.. Maybe what you really need to be doing is getting to know the sailor.. Maybe you are misunderstanding him.. And his bliss. I hope you find your passion. Writting this i ignited mine in hopes of the flames warmth being felt by you. If youve been catching my drift you will know exactly what i mean. If not.. As i said, you should probably re-read atleast some of this. Wherever you feel the most warmth, heat or even the flicker of the same flame manifesting in your heart as if you were creating these thoughts with the same passion. Subtle is the flicker of the fire, a small whisp of wind to strong can make a sharp whip of air. The air can extinguish, but the flame going out is where the effect is felt. Subtle, still it makes sound. With ears to listen and a heart to feel.. You will understand the subtle orgasm. Thats where its at. Kind of stereotypical if you understand it really hahaha. But hey theres a lesson within the lesson. Dont cling to the flame the wind the flicker the moment or the idea of getting the bliss of that specific subtle orgasm. It takes away from the nowgasm. I hope ive shifted your perception atleast some.. Kinda like some zen sufi mind trick. If you fully understood everything i just gave you, zen sufi mind trick actually sounds pretty accurate. And badass. Sufis use stories to alter perception just like i am now to you. And if you havent noticed it GO BACK AND RE-READ. You must be a a serious thickhead as they say if youve missed it. Serious thickhead. Moving on. Hey.. Sometimes being a badass and then becoming lame causes people to go into depression. Happened to me. Maybe you use to be a badass and subconscioussly miss that(probably not since you have a turkey as your profile picture though.. Call it picture profiling... xD oh god.. Lil wayne.. YKnow... Oh god if youve never seen the vine on youtube you wont understand but i just had an insane gigglegasm at that omg i must sound like an idiot.. I just had to say something. It proves that i really do orgasm to my own insanity for shits and giggles with honest delight). Search the back of your mind, the lacking feeling you have may seem elusive and following it back to its origin may be really hard (thinking backwards can become discursive, so be aware of that if you choose to go back) but hey.. You have to be passionate about yourself and self love to truely love thyself with passion. If you dont love yourself with passion you have a problem, its a kind of sexual relativity mental block. By love yourself with passion i mean you feel the passion of honesty when you feel your self love. Its not sexual.. But it can be. Just like the orgasm. And infact you may benefit from doing just that. Understand what i mean when i say sexual relativity mental block. Passion and sex with self love is like becoming the women loving thyself. It sounds wrong. Thats the wrong understanding completely. Shifting understanding is shifting perception. Maybe you need to shift some belief.. Open the curtains to let the sunshine in your home if you will. Ok its 4 am and i need sleep because im starting a course tomorrow.. Im going to sleep... Lol picture profiling.. That made my morning.. Writting this did but that was the cherry on the pie the joker dares to throw in the face of normal logic and reason. And he comes out right. Part of the whole long knowledge encrypted psycho-babble and passion understanding i just gave is about thinking patterns by the way. Speed and frequency in feeling is one aspect. The mad hatter is fast aloof and happy in his chaos dancing on the dead finding hilarity in your disgust of automatic misunderstanding of what the dead means. The sailor is slower, more self mature. A man who knows thyself and the back of his hand. He needs no speed and can be adrift with the winds at any speed. The sailor's bliss is differant from the mad hatter's bliss though.. Insight into that can give you some very meaningful insight into aspects of yourself and that is part of what im hoping to give you. If you were a badass, re-ignite that passion and go kick some ass maybe? When you come back, just passionately sit in your refound badassness. With a shotgun. Smoking. A pipe. Like yeah. Im a badass. And just reflect on that for a while. Depression gone. Yeah maybe ive been talking too much about wind and water.. Lack of fire is usually what causes depression. Although imbalance in the flow of water causes sexual issues. Balance water and fire.. Sailor and badass. You dont need the mad hatter, he's just the opener to the idea. Doctor mad hatter suggests balancing sailor and badass. And that i get some sleep. Ok goodnight everyone. EDIT: If you want to re-read this, i would suggest you read it slower. And heres something more. When you slow down you can become more intimate with the experience. More familiar. Same goes with breathing. Let your your breathing become slow and intimate. There is masculine knowledge in the embracing of feminine. You afraid of being called a girl? Even androgynous? Afraid of trannies? Judgemental prick.. Haha ok step back. I judge trannies... Everyone does. Understand.... To embrace your feminine qualities you have to be in balance with your masculine qualities. Total balance makes an intelligent being. An intelligent man. Fear of the feminine embrace and siding with fire and your lower masculine qualities will make you a total fool. A dangerous fearful fool. One that doesnt understand nurture and probably hates his parents and drinks and smokes without self care. Drugs and worse. I wish i could teach that fool self care. But just like everyone you gotta start with yourself. Compassion may help the depressed. That was a general statement by the way. Ever hear of metta meditation? Loving kindness meditation? Maybe there is a dangerous fearful fool inside of you that just needs some given compassion to gain insight into his problem and love himself on a level. Even from yourself. "Why do you not love yourself you fool?" ask the dangerous fearful fool after he realizes his insight, and he might say "I never saw or felt or could understand my mother and her love.. Or my father. I thought they hated me and were trying to control me for their own benefit and satisfaction. I wouldnt let them win this delusional war.. but neither did I. I rebelled and ended up on drugs enevtually on alcohol and meth till i burned myself out and my wallet.. Then i went to heroin for 5 years and just now ive met you.. And i feel ive met my true self now through you. Your love to me felt like me loving myself on a level ive never loved myself. It went back to my childhood, my mum and dad. I feel truer to myself because now i know these things and can understand that ive been delusionally lying to myself all along with my misunderstanding of things. Thank you for waking me up, you have opened my perspectice totally" his candle was lit and he could see with the light. Misunderstanding and wrong views and out of place perspectives and looking at sexual relativity to your mental block with passion in loving yourself. If you can get those out of the way, your heart will be able to let the love bliss of you just appear. Accepting the sexual nature of reality and gaining insight into it and EMBRACING it is taking steps further. That step left depression a few steps behind.. dead.. Humour is very sexual. I can explain if you'd like. You will gain insight undoubtedly from it.. Its very simple i wrote it out a while ago. Its a quarter to 6 in the morning... If i dont sleep.. Everyone at TAFE is going to meet the mad hatter himself... Im going to drink some coffee and go to bed. Im done. Good morning.
  17. Meditator

    Nothing is fun anymore :(

    Dude try taking cold showers to. Honestly.
  18. Meditator

    Nothing is fun anymore :(

    The 6th patriarch of zen said that in his zen that pranja is jhana and jhana is prajna. And ive heard many experienced meditators say that to say that wisdom and meditation are one. But a better understanding is they are one and two, two and one. Neither one, or two alone. Meditation without wisdom is actually quite a humourus thought when you think about it Prajna is wisdom, jhana is meditation. Jhanas are like states of experience during meditation. In zen they are more interested in realization through experiences of kensho and satori. In zen they are less interested in attainment of samadhi or entering the first jhana. Zen method is something else. Calling zazen (the practice) meditation is from my understanding wrong. Meditation is a result of the practice. In zen there is no goal per se, zen just becomes realized with proper zen practice. If you were to pick a style of meditation, i would reccomend you give zen a shot. Practicing zazen for a peroid of like 2 weeks can show you a lot. And if you want to blow your head off attempting koan practice then haha try that. Zen seems less mystical and more about reality if you ask me. I like the thought of that, and thats why i like zazen practice. Read shunryu suzuki: beginners mind. Its on youtube as an audio book. So listen to it. The actually information on the zen term begginers mind (shoshin) broke me through a huge barrier i was having in meditation. It gave me kensho.. Or insight into the nature of my mind. Good luck if you go ahead and try this.
  19. Meditator

    Nothing is fun anymore :(

    On the path to becoming a healer.. You are your first patient.
  20. Meditator

    Nothing is fun anymore :(

    Also becoming reliant on any substance isnt really a good thing. Being realiant on nothing is better. You may think "well youre reliant on meditation if you meditate though?" But all i can say to that is that meditation goes beyond meditation. I hope you find your inner peace dude
  21. Meditator

    Nothing is fun anymore :(

    Meditation may frustrate you at first because you will most likely fail. But it is a journey worth taking. In the end you may find what youve been looking for. Hey you might even end up getting samadhi your first try? Id say check it out. It helped me greatly . And i was suicidally depressed since i was young.
  22. Meditator

    Your "top ten" action movies.

    Scott Pilgrim vs the world
  23. Meditator

    Antioxidants for plants?

    Ok so I have this bottle of water with 400 mg of pure EGCG (Antioxidant in green tea). EGCG is extremely bitter and I AM NOT going to drink that.. it's almost as bad as Ayahuasca. Anyway I was wondering how it would affect a plant? I'm guessing oxidative damage can happen within plant cells as well. But would giving a plant small doses of antioxidants actually be beneficial to it? Even marginally? There is an obvious and easy way to test this.. Grow two plants and start giving one plant an antioxidant molecule in decent amounts and watch their growth and overall health for a length of time and accessing the effect on the antioxidant treated plant. But I cant find this or any test on plants of this kind. So anyone have any ideas? Green tea plants seem to always have a really health look to them. Ive never grown green tea but i have looked at pictures before. Maybe the EGCG and various antioxidants plays a role? Any thoughts? Scientifically based or not? Experience even?
  24. Meditator

    Antioxidants for plants?

    Bot.. Someone... STOP ARGUING ON MY DAMN THREAD! I hate when threads become off topic or turn into pointless arguments.. And especially when they become BOTH O_O take it to chat if it's that big of a deal.. And if you ask me.. Taking antioxidants for health is a good idea. Only because I believe that most antioxidants play more than one role pharmacologically. For example EGCG inhibits enzymes and interacts with bodily CB (Cannabanoid) receptors which seems to explain the numerous benefits beyond free radical protection. Like EGCG does effectively help with chronic fatigue and general fatigue in my experience. AND THIS IS PURE EGCG.. NOT GREEN TEA EXTRACT. DONT EVEN THINK ABOUT ARGUING IT WAS FROM CAFFEINE. That would really shit me... You wouldnt like me when I get shitty. Anyway.. Anyone else have anything worth adding?
  25. Meditator

    Antioxidants for plants?

    I could try this out with my EGCG water I guess.. I just ran out of the EGCG pills I had though.. I could add 50 mg of EGCG every other day though to one plant lol. Thats only 8 days.. Nevermind the results would probably be soo marginal it wouldnt even matter
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