kuychi

I have a friend who is very sad, I can tell it by the way he looks at me; by the way he speaks, how he lowers his head in shame, avoids mirrors, and prefers to be confined to 4 walls because he doesn’t want to face the world. He is a good person of good feelings, but like any other human being has many many defects this problem he has had for years, and to an extent I feel very guilty because I have known of this problem for years too, but we never spoke about it for it was shameful for both of us (out of respect for him I won’t mention what the actual problem is, if I did he would never know anyway, but I don’t feel comfortable sharing the dark secrets of his soul without his permission, it just isn’t my secret to tell), this "problem" has only increased with the years but it seemed to be going at a steady but slow pace, however, in the last eight months the time bomb exploded, it has gotten to the point where my dearest friend is very unhappy. It has escalated to the point of him having to do something about it now or never. For his own mental health for as long as I have known him I have (half-heartedly) tried to talk to him about it, but he always refused so I came to refused touching the subject to, but today, today was the day when he let it out, and spoke to me without reservations about his torment, I don’t know why he said what he said (now finally after all this time) maybe he just can’t take it anymore SHAME, thats the word he used to describe his problem, he feels so ashamed and unworthy as a result of his "problem" which causes him such anxiety, such trouble that he consoles himself by doing the very thing that makes him ashamed in the first place. Much like the drunken man in the little prince, who drank to forget that he had a drinking problem. He does "it" to make better the pain that doing "it" causes him. I’m sad too, because I watch him struggle and hate himself more and more, and grow ever more bitter ever more distant. I asked him why you don’t try to break the cycle there must be some way, yet again his answer was the same SHAME. the shame he feels impedes him from seeking help, for that would mean having to acknowledge his problem, having to say " yes I have a problem yes I do need help" is the hardest thing for him I feel pain when I see him surrounded by people that love him, while he is feeling alone in this world, when he wears that sad expression like asking "why, why am I sick like this", but most of all I feel pain when I see him hate himself when he avoids people that want to help him. When he inflicts pain to his own soul more than anyone else does (even the ones who judge him). When he talks sometimes I know that he sees no good qualities in himself, and I feel pain being so helpless to him. Because I know just as well as he does that nothing will change until he decides to change things himself. Sorry I have to be the teller of such sad tale, but I want to help him, I need to help him and I just don’t know how to. Anyone else has experienced something similar? Any advice on what I can do to make things better? How can i heal his soul?

Thanks so much for all the posts guys! And the great advise There is some really good things in here, specially about writing our own feelings, that has helped myself in the past, growing his own plants and maybe even having a pet could help him I think I will start by helping him forgive himself that is the first step now, I’ll try and get him to understand that the past is behind and although he made mistakes and wrong decisions, it doesn’t matter anymore, as long as he is trying to fix himself, if he is trying to make it better he is already a new man changing his circumstances. im sure he will start feeling a bit better soon, he wants to change his ways, he' s said to me he’s afraid of failing, of disappointing the people he loves, I told him that is much better to try and fail than to never try One of the very important things you have made me realize is that I can’t heal his soul as much as I’d like to, only he can do it only he can change things. He has to take the first step, I can only support him through the journey, and I’m going to help him get rid of all the bad things he has stored over the years, so he can fill his soul with happiness Thanks a lot, you have helped me heaps

I don't know hey.... We used to be friends when I was a girl, oddly when I started to become a woman he distanced himself from me, or maybe I became an irrational teenager, however I read once, I think it was in an article something pretty fucked up, I dont know if it is TRUE but it said something along the lines of fathers being threatened / attracted to their young and that makes them pull away, abuse or ridiculice their daughters the article said it was to hide real emotions and to relieve their guilt, I dont know if it is the case with all fathers but I am not the only woman I ve heard saying similar things, having similar experiences...

I’m not sure how it started if it even started, I ve never been very fond of insects, it is mainly I think because Chile is isolated from the rest of the south American continent by the Andes mountain range and on the opposite side the pacific ocean, as a result we have insects and arachnids but they are little, probably no more than 6cm in diameter, climate is much cooler than in Australia, so the climate is not adequate to have exotic and really huge insects, we do have meat eating wasps, by which I have been beaten twice and it is very very painful but even then I am more scared of cockroaches than I am of meat eating wasps I was in total shock when I saw the monster spiders from here, but now I’m much used to them and don’t scream when one loll. No really I’m much less scared of them now, but even back there in South America I was scared of insects and cockroaches were always in the pinnacle of my fear didn’t help either when my dad threw across the room a 1/4 squashed cockroach at my cleavage in certain occasion, needless to say he got the target, I had a mini panic attack, almost went crazy and now shiver at the sight of one.

hi everyone! im new to the forum and i just wanted to introduce myself to all of you. im kuychi and i joined the forum beacuse i know very little about plants but i want to learn everything there is! so please forgive my ignorance which i am quite sure will show much sooner than later, but plants is not the only reason i joined, i also joined because it seem to me you guys have an awesome community feeling going around, and all of which i ve read so far seems really interesting too now ill tell you a bit about me.... well i love playing guitar and bass too, and i love mostly everything to do with music ( i am very close to buying a sax! sick!) another of my hobbies is painting and drawing, i like reading a lot about all kinds of things but lately i ve found myself reading many history books, i ve always liked trees and plants i was always in awe of people who had the patience and technique to grow beautiful gardens and i have always been in love with forests. i like cats, tie dye clothes, tequila, talking with other people about dreams, smiling and many many other things i cant remember now oh and i dream of going to machu pichu one day, anyone been? looking foward to get to know all of you kuychi

Im sure they need not be watered at least once a month

aww thanks WoodDragon

Omg I love lucid dreaming, I have tried different techniques, you know counting fingers, asking myself repeatedly during the day weather I’m dreaming or not, trying to change colours, meditation etc, etc. When I practice I succeed I have had many lucid dreams but they are not very long, to me it always seem like my mind doesn’t want me to lucid dream, every time I realize I’m dreaming magically something appears ( once a pile of stars ) that is so incredible I become distracted and forget I’m dreaming. However I have never tried “supplements”, wild results huh? Post post! We want to know, btw is there a dream thread? Would be cool to start one if the isn’t one already In terms of plants I have an interest in cacti of course but I like fruit trees a lot and bonsais too, I planted an avocado tree which is now like 60 cm tall, but the heat here in Perth has not been very good for my little ones. My partner and I planted lost of cacti seeds some time ago, he taught me how to do it, they are doing good, and they would be doing better if he watered them every now and then he he. YES! I would love some seeds of anything you’d like to send me thanks! Especially silene capensis.

Yeah bogfrog you are right. I hadn’t thought about it in this light, it is true that when you have a partner they have a connection with your mind that neither part understands, and yeah I guess we kind of have experienced this in a way already, last thing I want to do is hurt him. And I know he feels it because I have felt it too before, it’s just like a feeling, and not matter how much you or he denies it, you just feel you are right. In my case though is a very superficial thing, I don’t actually feel lust for them in most cases i don’t even feel very attracted to them, and I would never do anything with them in real life, it’s more of a fun thing Thanks for the advice

mucho gusto trichoshaman. I was actually born in Chile and I moved here five years ago, but coke and coca leaves are quite abundant in the whole of southamerica in chile they are not legal like they are in Bolivia or Peru but we still get them as with everything else hehe even here un w.a i got my hands on some coca leave tea such i bought at happy hebs shop tried chewing them, but sadly they must be more processed because the bitter taste was there but not the effects. Yeah ut is such an innocent little plant... But i am most certain it would be very illegal to bring even seeds over, or even have it in your garden, it is like that even in most south American countries. oh well only remedy is to get there i guess

I've never seen a comet, this is so exciting!! I wonder with whom i will share this precious moment XD..... Any volunteers? What do you say jwerta? Im in w.a, you are in w.a....

I’m so glad you wrote about this, maybe we are both crazy or maybe we are the only ones sane but something very similar happens to me all the time, I live close to a train station but my street is in what used to be an industrial suburb, so there are a lot of companies and a staircase factory and stuff, anyway it’s a very dark street and its always empty when I walk home from work at night, when I walk down the street and I feel a bit paranoid or scared lots and lots of cockroaches cross my path, the more anxious I am the more cockroaches I see, once I remember being extremely paranoid because there was in fact someone walking a couple of meters behind me and I saw about twenty of them feeding of a pile of dog shit, running around it, moving and twirling their hairy legs and antenna, that particular time I let out a scream and ran home ( I have a terrible, inexplicable phobia of cockroaches just seeing one makes my heart shrink) but when I walk there and I’m not feeling anxious or paranoid or I’m listening to some good music I look at the floor and never a cockroach has appeared. on the contrary once I was walking to a bus stop and I had lost card to pay for the bus I had no change either, no money at all, but I had no choice I had to get on a bus and get home no matter what, I was prepared to plea with the bus driver to let me get in without paying as I walked there I thought "hopefully I’ll find some money even two bucks would save me", and as I got there guess what I found, a perfectly safe and sound card with 30 bucks on it! Just there on the floor on the street, not only I was able to pay for that bus but I could use it to get everywhere I wanted to go for like two weeks! For free, awesome! I completely believe that what I think changes my environment and circumstances

I never think of other people when I’m making love with my partner, I can only think of him, its because i truly dont feel like thinking of anyone else also out of respect for him and because if he did that i probably would be very hurt and have a massive, very bitchy tantrum, im very sensitive about this things and i doubt it would ever be the same between us in bed again, but I do think of my friend's boyfriends, and my own male friends/ acquaintances when I masturbate, why not? It is not harmful and no one is going to know, plus it adds a lot of kinkiness, the "forbidden" factor

Thank you guys! And yes I feel most welcomed here Omg trichoshaman you hiked the Inca trail! How i dream of that! I ve heard it is not for the faint hearted though, hehehe i was born in south America and i got to chew a lot of coca leaves XD I look foward to speaking to you Indiandreaming about dreams (all night long if you wish) Amazonian I have seen your work with jade before its quite amaizing Thanks again guys you have made me feel very happy and welcome I'll be posting some of my work very soon

Mine is in honour of an incan/inkan goddess

thank you jwerta, fluss and mr b.caapi you guys are making me feel very welcome already i have only two of those beautiful spiky things, one is a trichocereus bridgesii and the other one is a little trichosereus Peruvianas, planning to expand my very little collection very soon though...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CyScL6W4xpo&playnext=1&list=PLCF7FC885FCAA6E39&feature=results_video