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Chemical Shaman

DEFYING KELLOGGS!!!!!

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How to circumvent the enforced gambling imposed on us by kellogs in order to get our light saber spoons.

Ok so we all know that light saber spoons are cool right? Of course they fucken are!!!

They are the absoloute shit! What most people don't know however is that I am a full proper bonafide real deal JEDI WARRIOR AND EVERYFING!!!!!!

So when I found out kellogs were GIVING away these light saber spoons I just had to have one.

Now I don't really eat cocoa pops for breakfast, im more of a Fruit Loops Kinda guy but I thought, fuck it for 6 bucks I can just keep the spoon and somebody else can eat the cereal.

So I excitedly rushed to the supermarket and purchased a box of cocoa pops. As soon as I got

home I tore the box apart....... no spoon. I opened the cereal and started digging my hands through the packet.......... no spoon!!!!!! What the fuck is going on here???? Did they forget my fucken spoon!!?!?!

That's when I actually bothered reading the box. To my absoloute disgust I realised that I had been scammed. Only ONE IN THREE boxes comes with a spoon.

THOSE MOTHERFUCKERS i thought. I BET THAT FUCKEN COCK SUCKER GEORGE LUCAS IS BEHIND THIS.

Immediately I began to realise exactly what was going on here, kellogs were trying to force young, dedicated and impressionable Jedi's like myself to Gamble and as you know GAMBLING IS PART OF THE DARK SIDE. Fuck you George Lucas, you will not force me to gamble!!!! YOU WILL NOT SWAY ME TO THE DARKSIDE

I figure i could easily buy 3 boxes of Coco Pops and still not end up with a spoon. Thats 20 bucks and all I end up with is some crappy cereal im not even going to eat and NO FUCKEN SPOON, and besides... Jedi warriors do not gamble, I will not be swayed by the dark side.

In a fit of rage I stormed to the supermarket, my plan was clear. I was going to start tearing apart boxes straight off the shelf and pulling out spoons. I WOULD HAVE MY REVENGE AND I WOULD HAVE MY SPOONS TOO!!!!! But as soon as I got to the cereal aisle I said to myself "No CS, this is not the Jedi way, compose yourself."

cereal.jpg

I began to pace back and forth down the cereal aisle in a kind of Jedi-like meditation. How could I use my superior Jedi intellect to sway the odds and get my spoon. AND THEN IT HIT ME!!!!! KAPLOWWWYYYY!!!!

Ok calm youself Chemical Shaman and breathe young Jedi

A box of coco pops contains 785grams of cereal.

Using my superior Jedi intellect I was able to estimate the approximate weight of the box and packaging at roughly 120 grams give or take.

Having held a Light Saber spoon while eating breakfast during my Jedi training with Yoda I had already estimated the total weight of the light saber spoon to be pretty close to about 15 grams.

Thats it you magnificent bastard that's it!!!!!!!!!!

I loaded two boxes of Coco pops into my shopping trolley, took a run up and rode my trolley over to the fruit and veg section.

weigh.jpg

The first box I weighed was exactly 900grams, my Jedi sense told me this box contained no spoon.

The second box I weighed, weighed exactly 915grams....

I had my spoon.

I raced home and unpacked my shopping, I unpacked the box last, I wanted to savour this moment.

Sure enough..............

spoon.jpg

I was one happy Jedi.

light.jpg

To celebrate I practiced some cool jedi light tricks I had learned during my Jedi training

Click here to download a video of me being a master Jedi magician

I pretty much put that video up just for planthelper, he likes it when I do light tricks :)

THIS IS THE SECOND TIME I HAVE OUTSMARTED YOU GEORGE LUCAS YOU COCKSUCKER DO YOU HEAR ME. YOU WILL NEVER GET THE BETTER OF ME!!!NEVER!!!

-Chemical "Jedi Warrior and Breakfast Eater" Shaman

"CS your cum is always like sunshine to me" -Torsten 2005

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Uh, you gotta be fucking kidding me.

LMAO!

I was at Coles THIS AFTERNOON. I wanted a spoon. There were only two boxes left. I took both to the fruit and veg section, weighed them.

One weighed 900g exactly, the other 915g exactly. I bought the 915g one and there was a spoon!

I LEFT THE COCO POPS BOX IN THE EXACT SAME POSITION AS IN THAT PHOTO! Except, I was at a Coles.

I was fucking riding a trolley.

Mine is red too.

000_0379.JPG

Talk about synchonicity huh?!

:o

[ 07. June 2005, 11:04: Message edited by: apothecary ]

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For humiliations sake, CS, I weighed before buying a box first.

Patience young jedi

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I asked Daniel to get me a blue spoon two weeks ago when we saw the first pics on these forums. I suggested he weigh the boxes to work out which one has a spoon, but he thought taking them to the fruit & veg section was just over the top. So he just compared the weights of the boxes by hand. The fact that he actually did come home with just one box of cereal with a BLUE spoon in it was kinda flukey.

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CS you were still stooged!!!!!!!!! :D :D

atleast once.

and you were also stooged thinking your life was missing something before the spoon was marketed.

nice read tho lmao

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weighing the boxes is an old trick---remember when they made limited edition metal yowies?

i use to see people w/electronic scales weighing the yowie eggs. those metal figures were worth about $50 each to collecters.

it's still civilised though, most folk just rip the boxes open.

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Im still freaking out about that weird lighter trick you did at the doof CS.

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*ROTFLMAO* :D :D :D Hilarious ingenuity!

For those too yellow-bellied to weigh cereal boxes, take a young child with you.

Strong and uncontaminated their connection to the force is, found the spoon my padawan did.

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WTF Why would people bid on that? Some people must be too lazy to go get their own... :rolleyes:

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apothecary:

For humiliations sake, CS, I weighed before buying a box first.

Patience young jedi redblue.jpg

The red one I have had for weeks and have used these last few weeks to practice my Jedi magic.

Here's me having a light saber spoon battle DONT TRY THIS AT HOME KID JEDI'S!!!

fight1.jpg

and this is where i got the upperhand!!!!

fight2.jpg

and here's where I tried to see if these light saber spoons were powerful enough to cut off a set of tits (they weren't)

sabertits.jpg

 

apothecary:

I asked Daniel to get me a blue spoon two weeks ago when we saw the first pics on these forums. I suggested he weigh the boxes to work out which one has a spoon, but he thought taking them to the fruit & veg section was just over the top. So he just compared the weights of the boxes by hand. The fact that he actually did come home with just one box of cereal with a BLUE spoon in it was kinda flukey.

Now see I don't believe this for even one second Torsten. Your a compulsive BAND-WAGONER (i actually had a heeeaps better term than this to use that fitted perfectly but forgot when i started typing).

This is just like that time that I invented mango flavoured beer, and you were all like "oh well actually I invented mango flavoured beer ten years ago when I was a bar drink inventing guy"

One of these days you're gonna slip up and i'll come here saying "I JUST FUCKED MULGA" and before you have a chance to get control of your compulsive band wagoning you'll be all like "Well actually I sucked Mulga's dick like 3 weeks ago.."

YOU'LL SEE!!! IT'LL HAPPEN

Apothecary, you however I believe, as you are obviously a true Jedi and I show appreciation and awe at our synchronicities.

-Chemical Shaman

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My son has been bugging me for weeks for one of these spoons, and when i saw 1 in 3 i thought there has to be a better way.. and there is.. we now have a red spoon. thanks for sharing your jedi tricks.

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Don't thank us, thank the all luminescent, omnipotent, benevolent spoon.

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thanks for the boobies.

i'm glad the spoon didnt cut them off. that would of been such a waste.

please give the model my congratulations on such a well presented pair of funbags :D

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:D :D wat simon said :D :D

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Originally posted by Chemical Shaman:

This is just like that time that I invented mango flavoured beer, and you were all like "oh well actually I invented mango flavoured beer ten years ago when I was a bar drink inventing guy"

Dunno if you were just making that one up, but you can check with Suntori that their Bar Course and cocktail mixing guide in 1987 included a drink where you sunk Suntori Mango liqueur into a glass of beer. BratPack bar in South Yarra used to serve it and I never worked there :P

One of these days i'll come here saying "I JUST FUCKED MULGA"

No matter how charitable I might feel for him getting some, I'd still never talk you you again.... ever! :P

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CS you'll be happy to know that today while wandering the aisles, large Fruit Loop boxes with pictures of Yoda on the front were spotted!

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Do not try this at BiLo, they have those crappy hanging scales. Luckily a total stranger saw what I was doing and went to the cereal isle with me and helped me shake every box to see if we could find one, didnt get one tho :mad:

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I hereby support and recognise the efficiency of Chemical Shamans Kellogs Defiance!

Soon I will post my pics in regards to the Spoon Rorting phenomena. Needless to say Mesq is impressed with the cleverness of Chemical Shamans magic.

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