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#1 Yawning Man

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Posted 03 May 2012 - 05:55 PM

Aww man...I am so fucking constipated it's not funny. I've always heard about certain substances getting you all blocked up but this is ridiculous. I didn't think i'd be on the prune juice untill I was much older. And I can't go anywhere. I'm too paranoid that once i'l leave the house it will all come gushing out. There's no humouring your bowels when you haven't gone for 4 days and you've consumed a litre of prune juice. It's now or never.

Thank you. Yawningman loves you all and is lurking everyday. So behave!

peace
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#2 OPP

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Posted 03 May 2012 - 06:05 PM

I remember years ago at Scouts one of the boys broke the prune eating record of 114 prunes. Needless to say the toilet block was off limits to most people for a while.....

#3 Alice

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Posted 03 May 2012 - 06:31 PM

I went snowboarding in NZ a few years ago with some mates. We all got some virus that had us spewing out both ends, I've never been so ill. So we dose up on imodium (anti-diarrhoia tablets) to try and stop the flow, spend a couple of days in bed feeling sorry for ourselves, and get one day one to enjoy our holiday before we head to the airport to come back home. I'm so blocked up by this stage that it's starting to get really uncomfortable, and I can see that I'm not alone. So we're having a laugh about it while waiting at the airport, and my mate (who was the first one of us to get sick) asks me how many imodium I took.
"Well it said to just keep taking them after each motion, until it stops. So I probably had... I dunno... maybe 17 or so?"
"17! Fuck me, I only had 4, and it's been THREE DAYS since I had a shit!"
Needless to say, it was quite a few days before I got any relief LOL.

So I feel your pain dude. But don't worry it will pass *boom boom tish* :lol:

Speaking of prunes:


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#4 Foo

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Posted 03 May 2012 - 07:11 PM

Same issue as Alice everytime i visit Asia,

#5 Amazonian

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Posted 03 May 2012 - 08:00 PM

Hmmm, you might have to send help in from the outside? Like suppositories? (disclaimer... I know nothing about suppositories, as to them being good or bad, but when your pipes are blocked, you just might have to call a plumber). Dunno?.

Maybe a relaxing bath with some calming herbs infused in there, and drink HEAPS of water.

Good Luck Yawning Man.

:)
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#6 Amazonian

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Posted 03 May 2012 - 08:04 PM

Laughing at Alice's youtube vid', lol. Sorry, off topic, but when my kids were little, i loved giving them lemon so i could laugh my head off at their reaction.

:)
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#7 cheshire

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Posted 03 May 2012 - 08:23 PM

i love the pooping stones, keith richard 's a fucking legend
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#8 whitewind

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Posted 03 May 2012 - 08:37 PM

Let us know how you fare Yawning Man, I've had some trouble with this on and off for a while, often find a red curry very helpful but I'm trying not to eat too much spicy stuff as I also have acidity. Taking a necessary dose of anti-biotics has really screwed up my gut bacteria for a while.

#9 CβL

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Posted 03 May 2012 - 08:38 PM

Is this just a one-off? Or is it happening often to various degrees?

#10 Fenris

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Posted 03 May 2012 - 10:04 PM

Sorry I had to laugh at this, it reminded me of one evening when Yowie was over and we ate a load of dried apricots, that did not end well, especially as the drive home for Yowie was longer than his bowels were happy with.
I recall some obscure expletive riddled text message blaming my hippie foods for his discomfort.
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#11 Halcyon Daze

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Posted 03 May 2012 - 10:28 PM

Maybe a relaxing bath with some calming herbs infused in there



Yeah, just lie back and RELAX



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#12 satyr

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Posted 03 May 2012 - 10:43 PM

E N E M A... thats what i would do after 2 days already...easy and controllable...in and out...and then to maintain movements: enough water, fibre consumption and exercise.
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#13 PhoenixSon

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Posted 04 May 2012 - 09:36 AM

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Movicol

used in aged care facilities!

tell us your # after that moves through you
https://en.wikipedia...tol_Stool_Chart
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#14 Amazonian

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Posted 04 May 2012 - 09:55 AM

Looking at the 'Bristol Stool Chart' from the link above ( https://en.wikipedia...stool_chart.svg ).....What is considered a healthy stool... Number 3 on that chart?

:)
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#15 Sally

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Posted 04 May 2012 - 10:39 AM

I used to have similar problems, sometimes I'd go for over 3 weeks without a bowel movement. A quack suggested that I take metamucil (psyllium) and that nearly killed me.
Because I was blocked up the psyllium would ferment inside and cause enormous pressure to build up inside me, I was sure something would rupture to relieve the pressure but thankfully that never happened.
I listened to all the generic advice from doctors, which really was just eat more fibre and drink more water and if that doesn't work take drugs.
I saw that as real cop out as there was never any investigation as to the cause of the problem.
So I started a basic elimination diet, where I lived on rice & water until my bowels were moving and then I started adding things at the rate of 1 new food per week and documenting it all in a food/bowel movement diary. The diary was actually a speadsheet but you get the picture.
After a while a few trends started to develop and it kept coming back to wheat and gluten. For me the gluten never causes any diarrhoea like it does for most ceoliacs, it blocks me up. The gluten can kill the villi in the intestinal wall and once they're gone the normal function of the intestines is impeded or even stopped.
My problem is also compounded by nerve damage to my spine.
Another thing that can really help is intestinal or ileocecal massage this can really help a lot.
You start by pushing your fingers of your strongest hand (push it in with the other hand if you need more pressure) deeply into your abdomen just above your right hip about in line with your right nipple.
Then holding the pressure inwards work upwards until you get just below your ribcage and then work across to the left and down the left side until just above your hip and then down as deep into your pelvis as your fingers can reach.
Repeat that at least 5 times, more if you can handle it.
It will help to get things moving and open your Ileocecal & Houston valves which can sometimes be sluggish.
Ileocecal massage is just massage in small circles around the valve.
Ileocecal massage
Here's a pic of your intestines, when you do the massage you start at the bottom of the large intestine(left of picture, your right) and follow it all the way around applying as much pressure as you can reasonably take - don't do it to the point of pain.
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Out of the night that covers me, black as the pit from pole to pole, I thank whatever gods may be for my unconquerable soul.
In the fell clutch of circumstance I have not winced nor cried aloud. Under the bludgeonings of chance my head is bloody, but unbowed.
Beyond this place of wrath and tears looms but the horror of the shade, and yet the menace of the years, finds and shall find me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,how charged with punishments the scroll

I am the master of my fate:

I am the captain of my soul.

 

Invictus - William Earnest Henly


#16 nabraxas

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Posted 04 May 2012 - 01:04 PM

due to medication my wife would go 7 days w/out a shit.
tried metamucil, it didn't work; nor did Coloxyl or those mini enema tube things you can get.
drinking large amounts ov alcohol on the weekend used to flush everything out, but when she started passing blood w/the stools i decided to try making her eat fibre for breakfast, & got her on Bran Plus. She never had a problem w/constpation again.
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#17 Bundy Bear

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Posted 04 May 2012 - 03:28 PM

edit: possibly offensive, sorry all

Edited by Bundy Bear, 05 May 2012 - 04:50 PM.

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#18 chnt

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Posted 04 May 2012 - 03:48 PM

stomach massage can be very beneficial sallyd but i have to point a couple of things out.

it is true that you have to follow the direction of the large intestine ie, from the right hip up to the ribs, then across the ribs from right to left, then from the left side of the ribs down to the left hip, the only problem is, if you start at the start (bottom right) you can further clog up the intestines if they are already clogged up further down the track...

to prevent this, you have to start at the end of the large intestine, still pushing in the correct direction (ie clockwise) you must work backwards to help remove any blockages before pushing any material further along the large intestines. does this make sense?

ie starting at the left hip, pushing downwards and working up the left hip to the left ribs while still pushing downwards, next starting at the left ribs and moving to the right ribs while pushing towards the left ribs, thirdly starting at the right ribs and working towards the right hip while pushing towards the right ribs. doing this 3-5 times will help alleviate any blockages, once this has been achieved you can now start at the start of the large intestine and then work towards the end while pushing in the same clockwise direction.

please watch this for more info and a visual demo.


psylium husk and pro-biotics can also be very beneficial for the digestion system.
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#19 Sally

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Posted 04 May 2012 - 04:04 PM

No I've never seen that before chnt.
It does make sense though.
I'd only ever heard about starting from the beginning of the large intestine (which has worked for me more 80% of the time)
I'd have to say the method in that vid you posted could only been seen as an improvement on the technique I outlined.
I'd say go with chnt's method now I've seen that.

I can send you kefir grains if you're interested Yawning man, they're a great pro-biotic.

Out of the night that covers me, black as the pit from pole to pole, I thank whatever gods may be for my unconquerable soul.
In the fell clutch of circumstance I have not winced nor cried aloud. Under the bludgeonings of chance my head is bloody, but unbowed.
Beyond this place of wrath and tears looms but the horror of the shade, and yet the menace of the years, finds and shall find me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,how charged with punishments the scroll

I am the master of my fate:

I am the captain of my soul.

 

Invictus - William Earnest Henly


#20 chnt

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Posted 04 May 2012 - 04:13 PM

i am a student of this shit, so that's how i know.

it can also help with things other than constipation, like bloating, cramps, and some other stuff... i haven't studied it in much depth though.

you can also get some really good pro-biotics in capsule form from health food shops but probably cheaper online. they are also contained within such phyto-nutrient powders as vital greens.
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#21 Distracted

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Posted 04 May 2012 - 05:08 PM

Looking at the 'Bristol Stool Chart' from the link above ( https://en.wikipedia...stool_chart.svg ).....What is considered a healthy stool... Number 3 on that chart?

:)


4 would be the ideal bowel movement. Ideally they should be brown, smooth and S shaped.... based off memory. nevermind how i know/knew
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#22 Halcyon Daze

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Posted 05 May 2012 - 12:21 AM

Have you ever heard of a bowel cleanse?

Shudder!

Edited by Halcyon Daze, 10 May 2012 - 12:20 AM.

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#23 Torsten

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Posted 05 May 2012 - 01:52 PM

Fibre [metamucil, prunes, etc] doesn't really help to get a compacted bowel content moving. Fibre only prevents compaction by holding onto water and keeping the stool soft and voluminous. So taking large amounts of fibre once constipated is actually dangerous as it can cause fermentation which can cause severe discomfort and even ruptures [which are life threatening].

So if you are prone to constipation make sure you always take some fibre and increase this accordingly. if you already have constipation then you need something that will reverse the compaction. Many of these substances are nothing more than irritants, eg senna pods. They irritate the gut lining so that it secretes more liuid which is then absorbed by the stool which makes it softer. The irritation also increases the force of the peristalsis which helps to expel the plug. Such agents should be used at the first sign of constipation, because the more compacted the stool gets the higher the dose required and the longer it takes for the stuff to actually get to the problem area.

In asia it is common for salt to be consumed with kratom and opiates to prevent constipation. increasing the salt content in your GI tract alters the osmotic pressure, thus drawing fluid into the gut. I don't know if this can help once constipated or if it has to be taken as a preventative.

whitewind, try VSL#3 as a probiotic. This is what the best gastroenterologists recommend. It is expensive, but it has almost immediate effect. Antibiotic damage can be two fold. One is that it can just reduce your overall number of goodies, so you simply need to rebalance by adding lots of goodies and by adding foods that support the goodies [eg metamucil]. The other is that the antibiotic may actually eradicate one or more of the goodie species which can permanently alter your digestive response. Recent research has shown that losing one of these goodies can also have profound effects on psychological symptoms such as anxiety, depression, pain, parkinsons, etc. This is because the vagus nerve is closely connected to the gut and responds to many of the chemicals produced by the bacteria there, forming a direct connection to the brain. Some of the goodies produce chemicals that keep us calm, happy and relaced. Some of the baddies produce chemicals that trigger parkinsons,depression, etc. Some goodies can be reintroduced via foods, but sometimes they are lost forever. The Centre for Digestive Diseases in sydney does poo transplants to reintroduce the missing goodies for people who have severe effects from their imbalance. But before any of that they will make you take a course of VSL3 ;)
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#24 Psylo

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Posted 05 May 2012 - 01:59 PM

Did you hear about the constipated e-accountant who couldn't budget?
He eventually worked it out with a pencil
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#25 Torsten

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Posted 05 May 2012 - 02:07 PM

Halycon, the whole bowel cleanse thing is a scam. Those lengthy slimy turds are actually a direct product of the cleanse you consume, ie they are made up of psyllium, bentonite and the gums used in the cleanse. A bowel is perfectly clean after 48h of a mild cleanse. Just ask any gastroenterologist. To perform a colonoscopy the bowel needs to be a sparkly pink and this is achieved with 24h of no solid food followed by another 24h of no solid food while taking a mild laxative. That's all it takes and I have the pics to prove it!

How scam marketing can persist over such simple science is bewildering to me. I guess people prefer to believe that their problems are due to a 'long term build up' rather than the fact they have no self control.

I should also point out that REAL bowel cleansing is not a bad thing. My gastroenterologist told me that about 20% of general complaint patients (= 5% of severe GI problem patients) go into spontaneous remission from the colonoscopy treatment, which he puts down to the mild cleanse itself. Not that it removes layers of caked ancient poo as is claimed, but rather that the lack of food and the expulsion of live bacteria can change the balance of bacteria in your gut favourably. In fact he reckons anyone with a gut problem should do a fast that mimics the colonoscopy preparation. It can reset all sorts of feedback loops related to bacteria, insulin, gallbladder, etc.
For a real bowel cleanse all you need is some electrolytes, salty clear stock and a mild laxative. Adding things like psyllium actually defeats the purpose as this can feed the bacteria. Bentonite is probably not a bad idea, but only in the early stages. Gums are just added for the show effect - nothing more impressive than a 1m long gummy turd dropping out of your bum to give you that feeling of success. Gums are also bacteria food so should be avoided.
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