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Subaeruginosin

My tribute to Fathers Day!

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So about 8 months ago now, I lost my $1100 clear a week job at Visy foods. All the workers bullied me and shut down all the lines til middle management decided it simply wasn't worth the effort of keeping me on!

Big deal, right? Life's a bitch after all.

Thing is, my Dad rocked up to Shepparton from Melbourne and came knocking on my front door, since I wasn't answering his phone calls, because I was to ashamed to tell him I'd been fired. I didn't answer and saw him go around and check out the backyard.

2 weeks after my dad had been knocking on my front door and looking in my backyard, there where 4 cops knocking on my front door saying they had a search warrant to confiscate the cannabis plants that where growing in my back yard.

After being house invaded by the authorities, my Dad was dropping past Shepparton every single week to buy me a meal at the pub. Then he even offered to buy me a 7 grand Triton ute, which was actually extremely helpful.

Thing is... since he brought me the 7 grand Triton ute, he's never dropped past Shepparton even once to shout me to a counter meal at the pub.

Kind of an admission of in its self that he was the one who called those thugs on me right? It was obviously him who caused my home to be house invaded by 4 thugs with guns.

So... should a 7 grand truck be accepted as payment for such a backstabbing act? Or should I treat him as an enemy who would happily sell me out, out of pure spite?

Remembering, my dad has always been a cunt and never used to hesitate to sell me out for his slut teenage girlfriend back in the day.

I just have no idea what the correct stance is, forgive, or don't forgive?

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fJe3U3CrpQ4

Honestly, I tend to be a soft walkover when it comes to trusting people. But am confused on what the correct stance is in this situation!

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Maybe before jumping to conclusions you should drive to Melbourne and buy your dad a pub lunch. Or give him a call or something. Don't go out of your way to hate him. :) Sure he was a cunt and maybe still is but buying you meals and utes, calling & visiting you suggests he cares for you.

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Subaeruginosin it seems as if you have a father that loves you.

why would he dob u into the coppers?, and risk his son a criminal recored?

wouldn't he just say, son, rip those plants out?

the man has given you a vehicle to assist your life, a 7k triton.

as a thank you for the car to your dad try making an effort with the teenage girlfriend your dad has thats you don't like so much.

Be grateful to the father you have Sub, there are much worse.

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whether or not he dobbed you in or not doesn't matter because in your mind you're convinced he did, and this is causing you distress.

all you can do is confront him and ask. Explain how it has effected you and try and open up a conversation (rather than accusing and fighting)

easier said than done I know

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it might be that generation that was propagandised into doing that shit as a means of dividing families too

i struggle with this one with the other parent/gran , she's the last one left now..

still feel you well on the "how could they do that to their own" issue

and also quite often the psychology of the gift shower either for the benefit of reinforcing "the spectator"'s view...

or to pad their own guilt for:

"whatever it is you are about to receive" {or whoever it is you're about to be deceived}

..that they set up for you to walk into further down the line

.. even a generation further if applicable for some...

which inevitably can be used later to throw back in your face what "an expense" you may have been

is building your own life separate and away a possibility? [and achievable goal?]

[long enough to develop a baseline of what is "normal" to you to compare with later on]

there's nothing in the world that could buy me off now and i know the similarities may be few ...

but I just get echoes of that song "if you tolerate this , then your children will be next" whenever they try

regardless of what benefits you reaped from anything ... maybe as a byproduct for purpose of acceptable deniability later ..

so it's clear they may well have been dished out the same disdain in their childhood and don't know what to do about something and are thinking " what 'worked' (!) for me? " then they go telling folk and getting all manner of cunt's advice and before you know it they're being decieved themselves nt just by the others but by themselves also ... deep huh?

either way be well and hope you find a way through significant to your cause :)

and i say "childhood" because it's like they still think we're in our childhood despite blatantly being adult

whatever you do I hope you heal from it and usually starts by making sure to look after yaself in any kind of relationship oriented ventures

and maybe ditch anything growing that isnt perfectly ok to grow legally for as long as it takes?

and ..i should add despite it being something i can't achieve myself with my mother but..

if you can rebuild a relationship without any spite either way with your father ,

it's definitely worth it ....but dang ,

'shopped own child to the law' has to be one of the all time unforgiveable offences ,

especially over something as silly as an 'already over demonised plant'

and using that against you is just far too much 'out of order' for me [after personal experiences of a similar nature] ...

to find acceptable in my view ...

but I respect the opinions of others and also accept their place too

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is building your own life separate and away a possibility?

I truly hope so.

I've got plans to just drive to Townsville or Cairns on the 25th of November, when my correction order expires, without telling anyone about my plans.

I mean, thanks heaps for the Triton, it really is an awesome vehicle... But how can I ever trust them again after doing me in like that? It just ain't right!

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just don't forget the part of them that is good ....:may be nurtured by a regular text or call to say youre doing ok

and make sure you {can first and} are doing ok and looking after yourself and being healthy whether intake of food or friendships or else you'll fall into the position of being just as bad and underhand ,

and to yourself too..

trick is to do well and flourish without their input which should hopefully regress any of the underhand techniques and give them the (sometimes false) sense of security that theyve done their job (= "you turned out well all along" they might say)

but dont put it past em to try and spy , track and hunt you down if their of the

erm ... "control" element ...should I say..

heck I would track mine down over anything too but rather steer them away from the shit than run their nose through it

and beware of inheriting some of :innocent_n: the behaviours lol

and it seems the general consensus that it takes looong time to deal with these things and uncover more later

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Have you just made up your mind your dad dobbed you in and have chosen to believe it? Seriously?

How can you be sure it wasn't your co-workers who hate you, or your neighbour or someone whose seen your place or a chopper going overhead?

You sound like a fractious kid, maybe the only way your dad can really make it really clear he cares is by dropping $7k on a ute for you, because obviously dropping round to chat and taking you out for counteries wasn't cutting it. That's pretty fucken sad.

Maybe he is as confused by the relationship as you

Maybe if you're worried about the integrity of your relationship with him don't accept any more gifts from him til you've cleared your relationship up

Maybe drop round and thank him and take him out for a drink. It doesn't have to be for hours, even one drink is a start. Have a go at mending that bridge for ten minutes. Even if you don't like the outcome, give it a go. If it starts to get weird, tell him you were hoping for a better outcome and don't leave angry, even if that's only to preserve your self respect.

You sound like you need distance, so maybe Cairns is a good idea. Spend that time setting yourself up there before you go so you have a better chance of success, instead of whining about an expensing present and telling everyone on some forum your dad is a dog, when you have no proof of that

Plan on coming back all grown up, and take him for a counterie when u do

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I have no idea if your dad dobbed you in to the cops, but I think due to his recent niceness toward you it seems unlikely that was him.

I think it's much more likely that after buying you multiple meals and then a very large purchase of the car, which you do seem at least slightly grateful for, that he thinks maybe it's your turn to go visit him and say hi for a change instead of him being the one to come to you yet again.

Repairing a relationship takes effort from both sides and from what you've said most of that effort seems to have come from his side so far. So like others have said, go and say Hi, offer him a beer and a meal. Maybe just tell him your plants got ripped off during your convo and gauge his response, (if you really have to bring them up as I agree it's most likely a neighbor or someone else who knew about them growing there).

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Be very glad you have a Dad, be bery glad you have memories of him when you were a kid.

Be very glad you have something called family.

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I just remembered about a time back in my teens about a friend of mine. He had an older brother who used to smoke weed - he would have been about 17, his brother was basically like any other 17 year old at the time. One day he came home to find two of the local police sitting in the lounge room - somehow his parents had discovered his tiny stash of mixed leaf and heads, no doubt a ditch grow of no value. At the time we couldn't believe that his parents would dob him into the cops then sit at home waiting for him to come home and confront him. Your story reminded me of this.

when I think about it now, his parents were probably doing what they thought was best at the time. they didn't have the relationship with their son that they wanted and didn't know what else to do. They honestly believed their son was going to be turned into a drug fiend and found the following week shooting up hydro. So even if your dad did tell the cops, maybe he was just freaked out by the whole situation and didn't know what else to do? ? just a thought?

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oh, and the brother didn't stop taking drugs. he just got better at hiding them. Last I saw him he was still smoking & loving it. it was a nice way to balance his busy life with a family and a super successful business. He turned into a man his parents would have been proud to call their own.

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If I had a Dad I'd cry.

Prolly bit personal that shit,

be good Dads, you have one chance

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you should just ask him. but if he says no then are you willing to believe him? or are your own personal demons too strong that you can't take your own fathers word at something?

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Have you just made up your mind your dad dobbed you in and have chosen to believe it? Seriously?

How can you be sure it wasn't your co-workers who hate you, or your neighbour or someone whose seen your place or a chopper going overhead?

I always just assumed it was my neighbours who lagged me in. the police were even called on me shortly after I was home invaded by the police... When the police got there, they informed me that they'd had a complaint that there was an extremely drunk individual with no top on outside there house, who was behaving very erratically and making some very disturbing threats.

Obviously, I politely informed the officers that I was simply harmlessly blowing off some depressed aggression outside my own property and had clearly made an unfortunate error in judgement, by doing it out the front of my house and should have remained inside.... So luckily, it was all good in the end, as it turns out.

But still, its kind of a real selfish act for my old man to just allow me to believe and blame the next door nieghbours, when he knows it was him. They're just a young couple who had probably just brought there first home and probably didn't deserve all the aggression and dramas. To be totally honest, I had expected them or one of there friends to rip the plant's, rather than dob me in, since they always came across as being the sort of people who wouldn't be against indulging in the old erb every once in a while. So it never made any sense that it was them anyway.

Besides, last time I saw my dad and brought up how I was convinced it was my neighbours... he looked straight though me with this coy smirk, which from knowing him my whole life, I know was a clear admission.

Straight away I said to him... nah fuck it! As far as I'm concerned it was the nieghbours. Because otherwise it came from closer to home and that would hurt to much to even contemplate. Since he already lagged me in over 10 years ago and witnessed for himself how bitter it made me towards society. So why would he do it again? Simply because he was offended that I was to depressed to open the door.... not cool, thats all I'm saying.... not cool at all.

btw, he's a hardcore god fearing conservative now. But he has been around the block.... its not like his one of those people that only knows what the MSM has told him about cannabis. His more than informed enough to know it isn't some evil plant that turns you into a hardcore addict after just one hit!

He pretends he hates the shit now because of how I abused it. Truth is though, its his wife(who's only a few years older than me) that hates it... Because she had a psychotic episode off it once and thought she had a demon attached to her leg, she ending up slicing her whole leg up and still to this day is probably convinced a demon did it..... some fuckin crazy shit right there!!!

I don't know... I'm at the point where I just want to get into my triton and drive off into the sunset. Just spend the rest of my days being a homeless bum, living under the big blue sky... No bills, no stress, no problems.

Its pretty awesome actually, the utes got a canvas on it, so I don't even need to worry about a tent. Plus its got a big arse spare battery connected to it and 12v connection in the back. So I just need a converter and could just hook up a fridge and my laptop to it. Then just live the rest of my days seeking out awesome camping spots beside rivers all around Australia.... Just fishing and living the easy life under the big blue sky, til the day I die.

I done it once in a beatin up old Magna. So it ain't nothing to do it again in my 4wd triton.

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I got a phone call and three pairs of socks and undies in the mail. I have never been so stoked to receive socks and undies in my life.

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i wonder if one didn't have a Dad and only a Mum wether she'd be called a Dum, lol, its a joke.

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Subs- for 1, U sound like u have issues (who doesn't)

A father doesn't drop 7k on a ute, and shout lunches if he don't care about you. I really think u can't put the cops issue on him, that sounds psychotic. I really hope things get better for u mate, creating further distance between u 2 won't help things, or if u are committed to the premise at least give him back the ute. Sorry but Dayum am I over seeing parents get shat on lately by spoiled, paranoid and psychotic turds. Must be so heartbreaking

Edit- not saying you are! Just a pattern im observing in my drug abusing friends and associates.

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Did'nt you already get raided a couple of months back?

Is this still you on a hatred mission?

There have been a couple of good ideas on how to take and tackle your predicament.

Also some ideas on how to fuck it up a bit more...

Sorry everythings so fucked up for you but stand up straight with your chin up and listen to your heart if you have one.

Btw did you ring at least on fathers day to say g'day?

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Subs- for 1, U sound like u have issues (who doesn't)

Are you just starting to get that..... like just now?

or if u are committed to the premise at least give him back the ute.

Yeah, well that's just simply not going to happen. I spent my whole life standing by my bitter stubborn 'so called' morals and it got me nowhere.

Anyway, its not like I've deliberately snubbed him off. I was broke and couldn't have gotten down to Melbourne, no matter the stance I took.

I was simply a little bitter and wondering why he was coming past like every week for a counter meal at the pub, then once he brought us the ute, hasn't been past since. Even though he owns a few hotels in northern vic and drives right past all the time... Just kinda felt like he was saying, "well, my obligation is done now".

I ain't all that bad of person, whatever you all think. I just tend to say some odd shit at times, which may or may not be considered as borderline psychotic by some people.

Life's just an enigma to me..... but whatever.

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I like that thunderhorse had the perspective to make a post balancing all of the others.

None of us know what is going on in your family. Family is a strange thing. It can be the best and the worst.

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I was simply a little bitter and wondering why he was coming past like every week for a counter meal at the pub, then once he brought us the ute, hasn't been past since. Even though he owns a few hotels in northern vic and drives right past all the time... Just kinda felt like he was saying, "well, my obligation is done now".

I'll put money on it that he's expecting you to reciprocate and connect with him of your own free will rather than him being the one to call on you yet again. Is there a little bit of bribery there in the form of the car? Yeah, most likely. But is it sort of almost a noble form of bribery if he wants it to be a catalyst to start to mend your relationship? Still seems it's up to you whether you continue to have much of a relationship with him from here on out IMHO. And if you truly think whatever's happened in the past is worth cutting him off completely, then go for it, it seems like you have most likely already made that decision.

And like incog said, did you at least call him on fathers day? Or have you called him to say Hi even once?

And this is a complete assumption on my part here as I don't know you at all, and I can't really speak for other members, but maybe some of us here are taking your dads side on this issue purely due to how you've handled yourself here in the past?

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You'll get there mate, we're all getting somewhere but... not all of us have a fukin Triton.

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I know of people that have been given vehicles and houses by parent/s and STILL hate on them. The hate must have momentarily lapsed when they accept it. I apologise subs im not saying this is your case at all im just having a personal vent I've nfi what your sicho is.

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