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solomon

Anxiety/Panic Attacks

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You know, this is funny. I think i should talk about this a little further. Like many years ago or so. So there i was, willing to date in order to overcome my anxiety and OCD because i thought that all my problems would suddenly go away if i´d have some hot girlfriends now and then. I was looking like a douche, dressed up like some kind of Car salesmen with my shiny shoes and my shark tooth on my necklace as some kind of conversation piece. Only one who hadnt really realized yet what a tool i was was myself so i went on this date with an extremely hot russian who was so fucking into me it was ridiculous pretending to be super secure and cool (which i wasnt because i had all kind of freaky ticks when we were on our date) and was driving in my fancy bmw with white gloves in the hottest summer (because i had some weird anxiety to touch my leather weel), looking like Michael Jackson ready to perform the moonwalk behind the drivers seat. It was un fucking believably ridiculous. Then, we went to dinner. Where i asked the waitress not to sprinkle spices on top of my food (because i had a great phobia about pesticides in food) and she already gave me some weird look. Now the food comes, has green shit all over the plate (that could have pesticides in it) and i was freaking out, ending up not having eaten one single bite. So, next logical step would have been to go out having a few drinks to smoothen things up a little but i wasnt drinking alcohol at that time because...right...because of my OCD. The longer the evening got, the more terribly the date was. The great finale was when it took me half an hour to decide which kind of bread i want and i dont think i´ll need to mention i was sleeping alone that night. So i managed to scare away a girl who was totally into me because i was pretending to be secure when i wasnt. Later that day, i was also beating someone up with that very same bread it took me so long to choose because i was so extremely frustrated and depressed i went postal when someone accidentially spilled a drop of water on it. So believe me when i say, dating and severe anxiety dont really mix.

Now im totally healed from all of my OCD and anxiety. And after all i´ve learnt about life, im back with a vengeance. Im still a bit weird but i guess thats actually a good thing in nowadays society. These days, you dont have to be perfect. You just have to find your way in life and as soon as you´ve found out where you wanna go and who you actually want to be, there´s nothing that can stop you from overcoming your problems and living your life how it actually should have been. You know, i think its important for people to have a mission in life, some kind of bigger purpose and i have no doubt that centipede finds his way in life and gets this sorted out. Try to be passionate about something and it will help you to stay focussed. Like i said, many intelligent people tend to have anxiety attacks because they think too much about the things that can happen. So its really important to understand one single thing: You have to make decisions in life. Theres no way around it. And for every decision we make, there are consequences. So think it very well through, then go into yourself about what YOU want and make a decision. And then, live with it. If it was a wrong decision and something bad happens, dont stress yourself over it. Thats life and bad things can even happen to the best people because life is just not fair. So there´s no reason to think about the million ways your life could just crash within the blink of an eye and about all the things that might happen because no matter what, it will be fine. Just say to yourself, I WILL BE FINE. And you will be. Yes life IS not fair but you can also use this to your Advantage. Maybe you´ll live a happy and lucky life if you just dare to live it without being scared of every decision you make, you know? Trust the Universe and its plan. Whats the worst that can actually happen to you? Death? You know, There have been so many living forms on this planet in the past. They lived their life, enjoyed the good times they had, died and it was fine. Dont think about all the bad things that happen or that CAN happen because by doing that, you´ll miss out on all the good. Every day, we are surrounded by so many wonders that we sometimes even forget to look.

If you ask old people what they would do differently if they´d had the chance to relive their live...they always say "i should have done this or that when i had the chance to". Or "I shouldnt have been scared to do this or that". They rarely say, "i shouldnt have done this or that". So go out and live without thinking. Its time and we wont be any younger tomorrow. If you feel like your getting scared, just take a deep breath and try to be in the moment. Live your life the way you want to be remembered without having fear about the consequences. Because life is so short and one day or the other, we´ll have to go. And it doesnt matter if its this day or a diffrent day in a year or so. It´ll come so why not living an extraordinary life until then without actually being scared about what can happen? Without remorse? Just ask yourself how you want to be remembered. I need to come to an end but there are two sentences that i think are truly important for someone who is struggeling with anxiety. The first one is "feel the fear and do it anyway". You can be afraid, being scared is natural. Just dont let the fear overtake you and decide who you are and what you can achieve in life. The fear might never go away so just see it as what it actually is. A natural built in feeling that evolved over many generations to make sure human race survives. Nothing more, nothing less. Second sentence is "What would you attempt to do if you´d know that you could not fail?" Just try to forget all the things you learned about what your limits are and about the things you can or cannot do. Just because you´ve failed once, doesnt mean you´ll fail again next time. So no need to be anxious about anything. Failure is the foundation for success.

Edited by Evil Genius
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I recently read a book called 'my stroke of insight' - It's about a neuroscientist that woke up one morning, felt a pain in her head and then over the course of the next 4 hours realised that she was having a stroke.

 

Also, check the TED video where she gives a talk about it: http://www.ted.com/t...of_insight.html

YouTube version:

Damn I can't remember how to make the video in the post thingo!

botanika makes an important point: everyone has anxiety, it is a normal and healthy part of life.

BUT some people do suffer from anxiety and panic disorders, and it is a very real mental illness just like depression or bipolar.

Like most mental illnesses, people who don't have it often denigrate the experience of those who do.

However, going out and meeting women might work for some people's anxiety, but not for others. For instance if someone has social anxiety it would probably be a disaster that would only create more anxiety: NOT because the person is creating it for themselves (except in the sense they bit off more than they could chew), but because they have an anxiety disorder..

Unless they recognize their problem and take it slowly and gradually, one step at a time. Flooding yourself with the stimuli that make you anxious is an outmoded concept that has been shown to have only limited effectiveness compared to graduated exposure to feared situations.

Everyone's situation and fears are different, so giving specific advice is kind of pointless, much better to stick with general principles and thought exercises that apply across different situations.

Edited by chilli

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EG funny story. Maybe it's like art of war; don't worry about winning, just don't loose.

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3 fold breathing is great, bringing ur rapid breathing back to a regular normal breath.

Taking ur thoughts out of ur head- look around you and find 5 things u can see and touch. Imagine urself touching the objects.

This gets ur thoughts out of your head and I to the physical world. Try it, works for me!!

Now I just run around at work going "keep your shit together , keep ur ahit together" works a treat now, however I no longer (touch wood) suffer from bad anxiety, I more than know what it's like. Worst thing off all it's totally self imposed anguish.

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First of all, it's really brave of you centipede to have made this thread in the first place. You might have felt that you'd be a stronger person if you hadn't said anything, but you did the right (and brave) thing by asking for help and guidance.

Secondly, there is a wealth of very good advice in here. I think I might be able to add some from my perspective.

One of things I have to say about changing your life for the better, is that it's not something you do once. It's a decision that you have to make for as long as you want the results it brings. I made this mistake, and am still making it. I thought I had solved all my anxiety and stress problems (beginning of last year), and then carried on focusing on other stuff. While I was focusing so hard, they crept back, until suddenly I realized it was as bad as ever. It's simple to realize that exercise and diet are only good for as long as you do them, but harder to see how healthy thinking is only as good for the period that you keep doing it. :)

If you're going to quit something in your diet, do so slowly, and without a grain of doubt that you might change back. The same applies to habits. Focus on the rational consequences first (i.e. I will/won't do X because it's good for my health, but also do research to become certain - e.g. a tobacco smoker who never reads the statistics and doesn't incorporate them into their view of their future will have a wayyy harder time sticking to their decision), then focus on the emotional consequences that your rational decision will have on you - i.e. how will you it make you feel?

The simplest way to stop anything is to fall down the cascade of replacements. I recommend that fully. Trade lollies for fruit, trade TV for exercise, etc. I'm sure that most people know it, but the replacement doesn't even have to be like what it is replacing.

I can't really give much more advice without being sure of it, as I have to sort my own shit (chronic masochistic procrastination, mood swings) out first. ^^

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