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☽Ţ ҉ĥϋηϠ₡яღ☯ॐ€ðяئॐ♡Pϟiℓℴϟℴ

Thunderwhorses Trans M2F path to full on Feminization ...and allies zone ( F2M always welcome to post your finds and needs especially if no other specific thread) , ..and related Plant Discussion thread

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Hi there I hope you are all having a wonderful time in your pieces of front, back or indoor eden!!! 

 

I would like to begin here a discussion on plant use and non prescription purchaseables [for example progesterone cream] for the purpose of feminization and femme enhancement for those like me who were born half way there already and identify as female so that there is some kind of information log for reference for aspiring trans girls and cisfemales who may also benefit from the discussion in time. 

 

I would like to discuss the effects and share this path as I find it and try to successfully navigate it ...

 

but I am not in any way giving advice on things I only just familiarized myself with and some I am yet to know.. this is very new to me ... and so is to be open and honest about it and last 3 times I tried to come out I was nearly killed , the first two being also racially incited so I came out for good to the greater public on facebook on january 1st )after doing so to my priority peeps here and my son and bro) to the wider and public world after catalyzing via a few helpful and in some parts less than helpful: threads here on SAB. ... .... ..... so ......

 

Please no hater comments , if you don't like what you see then it's clearly not for your eyes or your words and this intends to be somewhere to shoot the shit not to throw it. 

 

Ok so first off I first heard of Pueraria mirifica on this forum somewhere while I was searching for another Pueraria to grow for reasons of proximity healing in the event that it worked for a neurological condition because I like to keep a representative shamanic living relic of those nature spirits and if possible pharmacologicals (eg i used xylocaine so i feel the need to grow a rep plant : coca) whom I fall in love with ... or perhaps a dead relic like a crystal or log of the trunk maybe .. to represent it if necessary... 

 

So off the bat I am dying to grow this miracle herb whom I see as my ultimate tool of the shamanic arsenal !!!!

....that I started using about 2 years ago haphazardly in secret but by august last year was following the dosage on the jar of 200mg tablet 3 times a day ... then in january an increase to 800mg 3 times a day and now with having bought some 500mg caplets ... 2000mg 3 times a day and often with my being forgetful and my waking days spanning 2 or more days at a time .. so probably more

and has made my boobs get harder and begin to grow even bigger since about november last year !!! YAY!!!  

 

They're pretty sore though but I put that down to them generating 

 

I recently bought progesterone cream to rub into the smaller boob .. maybe 3 weeks ago? - appears to have worked well toward almost symmetry already!! , it feels also good to use on my face and for some reason it feels like my selfies are gradually getting prettier and the attention they've had on facebook from all walks of life and sways of gender or sexuality have been indicative I believe to at least a certain extent :)

 

So anyhow with that creams success I decided to also try some Pueraria mirifica cream. 

 

I hear rumours that over using femme hormones can lead to conversion back to T ...

But not sure if that is synthetics only or phyto's too but when I tried to go to the drs dressed as a woman in 2006-2009 I was laughed out by one, refused to be taken seriously by another, told it was just a phase by another and accused of mental health issues over it by the one i gave up on ... so I never really got any help from the GP ...

 

I don't wanna have the op or any implants ... that's the way it is for me and I won't be changing it so there's no need to ask that question now.

 

I will add some pics I guess :3 starting with most recent and going in reverse order as I find them and hope you can notice the progression in the face pics and tell me if it is so as I think it is..  there probably wont be much to show in the way of boob progression history since its only recently anyone had me photograph them so:

 

warning ... titty shots ahead, exit thread now if that's a problem

here's a nice music track to save you scrolling down any further out of kind consideration to your eyes if it would be a problem  :3

 

.....but back on track: I guess there's not a better constructive critic than an external pair of eyes with the right minerals as far as the face pics go... and hopefully will show some transformation in reverse ... and thus, the power of Pueraria mirifica over 1 month and 15 days ...

 

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Edited by ☽Ţ ҉ĥϋηϠ₡яღ☯ॐ€ðяئॐ♡Pϟiℓℴϟℴ
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extra effects :

increased:

crying, impulsiveness, fear and vulnerability, hassle , i dont give a fuckness :3,  sex drive in moment to insatiable whore but stronger by at least to the power 10, movement, flexibility and skeletal health, sense of smell and touch and intuition, need for sure things.

 

 

decreased:

sex drive in between the whore mist that is far fewer by at least the power 10, urge to get dirty gardening, ability to carry heavy things, risk taking in male ways., ability to walk streets without being asked to get into stranger's cars or having "corr I'd fuck tha shitttt outta herr!!!" shouted across the street

Edited by ☽Ţ ҉ĥϋηϠ₡яღ☯ॐ€ðяئॐ♡Pϟiℓℴϟℴ

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3 hours ago, ☽Ţ ҉ĥϋηϠ₡яღ☯ॐ€ðяئॐ♡Pϟiℓℴϟℴ said:

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I'm sorry I cant read all that writing right now...    I will attempt to when its safe.

 

                   Ballz deep till' ya weep my sista  -  Over & Out.

 

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Thanks for sharing your journey so bravely, much respect. Wonderful you're finding the plants to be healing for you.

I've explored  ERβ targeting phytoestrogens as a CNS target (avoiding the physical feminisation of ERα), trying to improve my mind and they're interesting therapeutics for many CNS things.

I've got a page from my research and experiences: https://www.facebook.com/Phytoestrogens-as-therapeutics-126178541328922/

Best wishes. Enjoy your garden!

 

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1 hour ago, Alchemica said:

Thanks for sharing your journey so bravely, much respect. Wonderful you're finding the plants to be healing for you.

 

I've explored  ERβ targeting phytoestrogens as a CNS target (avoiding the physical feminisation of ERα), trying to improve my mind and they're interesting therapeutics for many CNS things.

 

I've got a page from my research and experiences: https://www.facebook.com/Phytoestrogens-as-therapeutics-126178541328922/

 

Best wishes. Enjoy your garden!

 

Thank you kindly

I'd like to view that but for some reason facebook keeps suspending my acct and just did for the first time on my new account about 45 minutes ago .. its been a plague through the last 4 accounts I've had to give up on which contained my coming out history ... now i have to wait probably 2 days at least if the last times they asked for a photo to verify with the account are anything to go by ... was really looking fwd to that but to save my anticipation 

I used to think they did it because I was trans but now I think its either someone maliciously causing somethn or because they might think im a machine for being up for days on end whereas most accounts probably rest every day for at least a few hours ... 

could you let me know if your link will reveal anything of use to me for feminization aspects please?

 

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1 hour ago, Skellum said:

 

I'm sorry I cant read all that writing right now...    I will attempt to when its safe.

 

                   Ballz deep till' ya weep my sista  -  Over & Out.

 

not sure what you mean there sweetie but at your leisure hun x

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Are you currently looking more for physical aspect changes or altering thinking/alteration of mood/emotionality etc ☽Ţ ҉ĥϋηϠ₡яღ☯ॐ€ðяئॐ♡Pϟiℓℴϟℴ?

Particularly relevant to females but male health depends on appropriate estrogen signalling.
 

I'm coming from my head being pathologically male to trying to find loving balance as a male with positive emotionality etc etc. I mainly explored ERβ selective agents, ones acting as SERM-like agents, genistein particularly. This is pretty technically heavy, if you want me to explain anything in a better way, let me know, just for the moment I'll give you some technical stuff.

ERβ is a key requirement for activation of mechanisms that underlie estrogen-inducible neuronal morphological plasticity, brain development, and cognition. ERα, on the other hand, is more predominant in mediating the sexual characteristics of estrogen effects in the reproductive organs such as breast and uterus.

I can possibly help with getting a mood/emotionality/cognitive etc more in line maybe. I avoided looking at the physical feminising agents. For the physical aspect, you want to target ERα, I'd have to do some research but some of the hops phytoestrogens are biased towards ERα, . Coumestrol binds as strongly as 17beta-estradiol to both ERs. Pueraria mirifica is sort of non-selective so you get a bit of ERα/β

Whereas before I didn't feel inline with caring for people, didn't develop emotionality, sociality, receptivity etc, phytoestrogens were for meto epigenetically alter pathways relating to more caregiving. To adopt a fatherhood stance to life.
 

In mammalian females, the neural systems that motivate caregiving are activated by the hormones of pregnancy. Estrogen (E), oxytocin (OT), and prolactin (Prl) act by way of the medial preoptic area of the hypothalamus (MPOA) to both activate the mesolimbic dopamine (DA) system, which is involved in the motivation to approach offspring, and inhibit an offspring avoidance system that includes the medial amygdala, anterior hypothalamus, and periaqueductal gray matter (PAG). In addition to this motivational system, maternal behavior depends upon the thalamo-cingulate pathway, which may play a role in parental empathy.
 

Paternal behavior has evolved multiple times independently in mammals. It may be that the most parsimonious way to evolve paternal behavior is to utilize pre-existing neural systems that are in place for maternal behavior. The sensitivity of these systems to infants may be augmented by increasing hormone secretion or by increasing sensitivity to hormones through upregulated receptor density.


~~~

In depressed patients, 5-HT and SERT levels are both low compared to healthy individuals, same as social subordination stress. ERβ activity seems critical in resolving this, in part it is a mechanism by which fluoxetine exerts its antidepressant effects, through ERβ .
 

ERβ is a pharmacological target to promote memory function and neuronal defense mechanisms against age-related neurodegeneration such as Alzheimer’s disease (AD) and psychiatric disorders, while avoiding activating untoward estrogenic proliferative effects in the breast and uterus, although this might be at the cost of lower efficacy due to the lack of activation of ERα in the brain. Other potential therapeutic advantages associated with ERβ include regulation of estrogen vasculoprotective action and development of interventions targeting diseases such as depression, colon cancer, prostate cancer, obesity, leukemia, and infertility.


However, a potential disadvantage of an ERβ-selective ligand is the lack of activation of ERα in bone, as ERα has been demonstrated to mediate estrogen regulation of bone density.
 

Genistein has high selectivity for ERβ with strong serotonergic effects.

Genistein a dietary soy isoflavone (also found in other plants), exerts antidepressant-like effects in mice via the serotonergic system, it also has anti-PTSD effects, anticonvulsant effects etc

chronic genistein administration to mice engenders antidepressant-like efficacy evidenced by lessened behavioral despair. Serotonergic system that preferentially couples with 5-HT1A receptors may be critically responsible for the present genistein anti-depression. Genistein <10mg/kg enhanced serotonergic transmission in the amygdala, including upregulation of tryptophan hydroxylase, serotonin, and phosphorylated (p)-CaMKII and p-CREB, as well. Genistein exerts anti-anxiety effects on a PTSD model probably through enhancing serotonergic system and CaMKII/CREB signaling pathway in the amygdala. It also acts on 5-HT3Rs. Seizure-induced abnormalities improved partially only by the lower dose of genistein (0.5mg/kg). Genistein may have restorative and preventive effects against cognitive impairment. .

I explored Puerarin rich Kudzu for a bit.The higher dose Kudzu seems to negatively impact mood. Kudzu isoflavones at lower doses promoted DA metabolism and inhibited 5-HT metabolism while higher doses could decrease the concentration or promote the metabolism of Glu, DA and 5-HT in striatum
 

Puerarin preferentially up-regulated the expression of ERβ but not ERα, and ERβ-specific siRNA significantly reduced the neuroprotection of puerarin. Puerarin is neuroprotective via the activation of estrogen receptors, and ERβ plays a key role in the process.
 

Kudzu extract (RPE) or puerarin has potent neuromodulatory effects specially on spine and synapse formation as well as on synaptic transmission and neuronal viability in hippocampal neurons. These findings support the potential ability of RPE or puerarin to modify aberrant synaptic plasticity associated with cognitive decline during aging or neurodegenerative states and suggest that RPE and puerarin might be possible preventive means and therapeutic alternative or adjunctive to current symptomatic treatment for cognition and memory-related neuronal disorders.
 

RPE and puerarin both exert neurotrophic effects on the morphological and functional maturation of hippocampal neurons as manifested by increased densities of dendritic spines and elevated expressions of glutamatergic synapses in RPE and puerarin treated neurons.
 

Other recent research found that puerarin might protect against cognitive deficits, oxidative stress, and neurodegeneration induced by Aβ. It has been reported to prevent obesity and improve glucose metabolism - it dose-dependently improved hyperglycemia, insulinemia, and glucose tolerance, and prevented the skeletal muscle atrophy
 

Social status also affects TPH protein with subordinate females exhibiting lower levels than dominant females regardless of hormone replacement. If TPH protein predicts 5-HT synthesis, then low ERβ activity and low social status could produce low 5-HT synthesis and, in turn, increased vulnerability to depression or anxiety. Soy phytoestrogens increase SERT protein in the raphe region, but social status had no effect. Moreover, 5-HT prevents SERT degradation. The hormone-induced increase in SERT is believed to accompany an increase in 5-HT synthesis and neuronal firing.
 

Estrogen signalling supports serotonin levels through different mechanisms. It modulates 5-HT neurotransmission by actions at TPH, SERT, and 5-HT1A autoreceptor gene and protein levels. It increases tryptophan hydroxylase, the rate limiting enzyme in the synthesis of serotonin. Additionally, it modulates the enzyme monoamine oxidase (MAO), which degrades monoamine neurotransmitters such as serotonin. Activation of ERβ receptors stimulates an increase in serotonin receptor sites and modulates 5-HT2A expression
 

Phytoestrogens appear to increase choline acetyltransferase mRNA levels and brain-derived neurotrophic factor mRNA levels in frontal cortex. They also increased NGF. In male rats, phytoestrogens decreased medial basal hypothalamic, preoptic, and amygdaloid calcium-binding proteins without altering androgen metabolizing enzymes. In male and female rats, phytoestrogens appear anxiolytic, and have sexually dimorphic effects on visual–spatial memory.

Edited by Alchemica
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"Phytoestrogens exert a weaker estrogenic effect on cells than endogenous estrogens and xenoestrogens. Phytoestrogens have an anti-estrogenic effect premenopausally by competitive inhibition of hormone receptor sites [depending on the site of action, they act like SERMs]. When receptor sites are occupied with the less estrogenic phytoestrogens, there are fewer sites available for the more potent endogenous estrogens or xenoestrogens. Imagine a lock on a doorknob (estrogen receptor site), now picture a key (phytoestrogen) fitting into the lock and turning the key. Now imagine a second key coming along (endogenous estrogen); it can’t fit into the lock because there’s already a key there, blocking its way (phytoestrogen). The phytoestrogen key opens the door gently, while the endogenous estrogen would cause the door to fling open with wild abandon."

Basically, they're gentle healing influences, kind of easily tailored to your needs.

There's some nice simple info here, http://www.spiritofchange.org/alternative-health/The-Ecology-Of-Estrogen-In-The-Female-Body/

I'll just chuck this here, I spent ages researching these things so good to have a compilation. As I said, I come from trying to fix pathology. I just want you to be comfortable being you!


It is proposed that perturbed estrogenic signaling in the fetal brain due to aberrant DNA methylation of the estrogen receptor β (ERβ) gene, and such methylation patterns, may be imprinted to future generations and could theoretically increase subsequent neurodevelopmental disorders such as ASD offspring risk. Exposure to endocrine-disrupting components in the environment and even pharmaceuticals, including hormonal contraceptives may increase the risk.
 

ERβ signaling has strong links to neurodevelopmental disorders, schizophrenia, depression, anxiety, and neurodegenerative disorders and may modify the interaction between negative life events and MDD, particularly in females, likely playing a role in the long-term consequences of adverse life experiences,.

 

Most isoflavones have a higher affinity for ERβ, which is involved in sexually dimorphic behavioral regulation. Data suggest that even relatively low daily consumption of phytoestrogens may be sufficient to influence hippocampal function and behaviour, with rapid effects.
 

Recent studies of ASD patients revealed a significant association of lowered levels of ERβ. Intriguingly, GPER, not just ERβ, which is also targeted by phytoestrogens, seems to be implicated in ASD.


ERβ-/- mice display a defective migration and layering of cortical neurons as well as impaired spatial learning and increased anxiety behavior. Such behaviors have not been shown for ERα-/- mice, suggesting that ERβ is the main ER isoform in regulating neuronal development associated with cognitive and affective behaviors. ERβ is crucial in the developing brain. However, its mechanistic understanding here is far from clear. In adult rodents, it has been shown that ERβ is expressed in serotonergic neurons of the dorsal raphe nucleus, where it mediates E2-dependent tryptophan hydroxylase (TPH) production, the rate-limiting enzyme for serotonin synthesis, and maintenance of serotonergic neurons. ERβ is also the main ER isoform in dopaminergic (DA) neurons of the substantia nigra. It is well established that E2 promotes neuroprotection of these DA neurons. However, it is not clear if it is a direct effect of E2 on these neurons or if E2 exert its neuroprotective effect through oligodendrocytes, microglia, or astroglia. Interestingly, both oligodendrocytes and microglia express mainly ERβ. ERβ could rapidly alter transmission in the mPFC to alter PFC-dependent behaviors. ERβ opposes AR signaling and inflammation - ERβ ligand therapy activates PI3K/Akt/mTOR signaling in oligodendrocytes and promotes remyelination


New studies have suggested that ERβ may play a more important role during neuronal development, as well as having new functions in regulating temporal DNA methylation dynamics. Treatment with ERβ agonist causes a significant decrease in DNA methylation globally.

 

With regard to genistein, pharmacologically,

 

 ERβ EC50 = 7.62 nM agonism and, to a much lesser extent (~20-fold), full/partial agonism of ERα and beneficial GPER (GPR30) modulation. It also has serotonergic effects. It doesn't seem to be physically feminising for males used appropriately. SERMs are getting good experimental results, particularly in women (being less explored in males), a SERM "reduces illness severity and increases the probability of a clinical response in women with refractory schizophrenia" but I think nature can do it better...

 

Genistein binds to and transactivates all three PPAR isoforms, α, δ, and γ

 

Socially, it should be useful: social behaviour and OT and AVP systems are tightly regulated by estrogen receptors. ERβ agonism normalises SCHZ-like alterations in PPI, cognitive deficits and behaviour. These are highly neuroprotective compounds. They neatly modulate DA.


A recent study found that isoflavones had "no observable effect on endocrine measurements, testicular volume or semen parameters over the study period." in healthy males given isoflavone supplements daily over a 2-month period

Edited by Alchemica
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Aww yay thanks ever so much for sharing that Ano..

 

 I don't understand a lot of the words in all that is beautiful above but I can have a lot of fun looking them up and learning more along the way to decypher and unlock to a deeper understanding of what you're sharing. 

*sends hugs* :)

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Yeah it's pretty heavy, just compiling what I was learning about them at the time. If you have any questions or want anything explained in more appropriate terms, let me know. If you have any particular concerns, particularly if it's on how you're feeling mentally etc, I'll try and help.

Edited by Alchemica
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Thank you and appreciate your support a lot and compilation being how it should be ... just lol still awake plucking again after no sleep and will maybe re-try processing on a fresh recharge ... will get there in the end ..

 

... none of the things that seem to concern other trans girls [i spoke with making a krillion friends on fb] are concerns for me yet other than its not fast enough .. heck they shower me so much with compliments, admiration and gratitude I almost begin to believe I could be pretty on the outside too!

 

I'm kinda really embracing the mental and physical pains and grateful to and of them .. and of whatever they may bring ..

the only real concerns so far mentally are over something physically that I think will be a fix by electolysis ...

..until then it's a 4 day face pluckathon until I can afford a home laser gun,

needing wider hips and big enough bewbz to balance out shoulders... 

and ... having the strength to resist really hawt talkers in chats ..

-like increased value and enhancement to the simple power of certain words seems to be the case.. which can also unfortunately be as delicious and tempting as ya fave dessert after 9 yrs abstinence .. 

 

All in all the most beautiful experience from a plant I had to date.

 

no worries of breasts growing on my face from using the creams on it :3 ;) 

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11 hours ago, ☽Ţ ҉ĥϋηϠ₡яღ☯ॐ€ðяئॐ♡Pϟiℓℴϟℴ said:

I almost begin to believe I could be pretty on the outside too!

You're already there Vanda

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Great work and thanks for sharing. I'm sure your journey is helping more people than you realize.

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Hope so wish facebook thought same keeps destroying my account ever time i make one claiming suspicious activity n within 15 mins of opening a new account today with my real name they suspended it

 

are they anti trans ......and dyu think twitter would be a good alternative?

 

Maybe theres more than just plants to be spoken about on this subject slso kinda feel the trans f2m are undersung in my title specifics but if no other thread for it then they're sure more than welcome to join the thread if they wanna x

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sorry wasn't much of a post i was just on my phone on the bus back home ... and phones are shit aren't they.

 

I feel somewhat swamped and blinded by all the science that very kind Mr Alchemica lay down ... and I just had another blow to my family of this time my son deciding to use the social services against me in protest because his xbox live acct ran out and my threatening to tell people about him getting rough and threatening with me since being in female form and thus the social services , despite my winning gainst them in court last week, have now rung me to say he isnt coming home .... and feeling pretty vulnerable being alone for the first time in a while , also had a caller on facebook, before FB blocked me yesterday, with a fkn chainsaw going off in the background and some wierd assed scary shit .... 

 

sorry if anything I'm about to post has already been mitigated or anything by the previous science that blinds me but I cant let it keep holding me back from posting whatever I could find in the way of my thread's particular subject matter.. and with the devastation of today .... I haven't got the mind or heart capacity to look into Alchemica's suggestings and drop myself in a real deep end of learning right now so what I do have to add ...are some humble links for now.

 

And as you may have noticed in the past when visiting something new to me and making a thread on it (e.g. the Acacial path thread) I like to try and compile a bunch of links and vids when I find them and then go through them,... ....using here as a base to collect them all together for later sifting :3

 

one from san pedro road first :3 https://transidentified.com/2013/02/27/transgender-nutrition-considerations/

http://yestheyrenatural.com/how-to-get-bigger-breasts-with-pueraria-mirifica-the-ultimate-guide/ - and btw yes I will be ignoring their advice for estrogen dominant folk like I assume myself to be going by as far as 50% of it's symptoms list describe 

 http://www.sfherbalist.com/holistic-health-for-transgender-gender-variant-folks/ says more geared toward f2m 

 

 

 

 

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oh yeh and I have to add this it was sooo cool , My solicitor that helped me the most did my name change for free for being so brave !! Woooo!! :3 .. srry just yayyy!!! fkn eh!

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2 hours ago, ☽Ţ ҉ĥϋηϠ₡яღ☯ॐ€ðяئॐ♡Pϟiℓℴϟℴ said:

sorry wasn't much of a post i was just on my phone on the bus back home ... and phones are shit aren't they.

 

I feel somewhat swamped and blinded by all the science that very kind Mr Alchemica lay down ... and I just had another blow to my family of this time my son deciding to use the social services against me in protest because his xbox live acct ran out and my threatening to tell people about him getting rough and threatening with me since being in female form and thus the social services , despite my winning gainst them in court last week, have now rung me to say he isnt coming home .... and feeling pretty vulnerable being alone for the first time in a while , also had a caller on facebook, before FB blocked me yesterday, with a fkn chainsaw going off in the background and some wierd assed scary shit .... 

 

sorry if anything I'm about to post has already been mitigated or anything by the previous science that blinds me but I cant let it keep holding me back from posting whatever I could find in the way of my thread's particular subject matter.. and with the devastation of today .... I haven't got the mind or heart capacity to look into Alchemica's suggestings and drop myself in a real deep end of learning right now so what I do have to add ...are some humble links for now.

 

And as you may have noticed in the past when visiting something new to me and making a thread on it (e.g. the Acacial path thread) I like to try and compile a bunch of links and vids when I find them and then go through them,... ....using here as a base to collect them all together for later sifting :3

 

one from san pedro road first :3 https://transidentified.com/2013/02/27/transgender-nutrition-considerations/

http://yestheyrenatural.com/how-to-get-bigger-breasts-with-pueraria-mirifica-the-ultimate-guide/ - and btw yes I will be ignoring their advice for estrogen dominant folk like I assume myself to be going by as far as 50% of it's symptoms list describe 

 http://www.sfherbalist.com/holistic-health-for-transgender-gender-variant-folks/ says more geared toward f2m 

 

 

 

 

Sorry to hear about that challenging time you're experiencing. Hope things pick up. Please keep this about you and your journey, express what you need, reach out for help when you need it, glad you found some suitable info, I just came from the over-intellectual viewpoint at the time.

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:3 https://feminizationsecrets.com

 

Thanks Alchemica and hope that cool chap WB dnt mind me using his phrase but :

it is what it is ...

I'm lucky to have made friends with someone on facebook who helped by being on the phone all night with me till they ran outta steam and the days flicked by in a few minutes so far ... I can't keep leaning on them they have their own stuffs to deal with

 

...part of me smells freedom in the air since if most of my close-by and uk originating family are gna ditch me from all directions of the generational spectrum then fuck em ...  

and what I'm doing is illegal where my other side of the family is...

is the best I got to prevent silly thoughts of giving up.. and reasons to do so 

...if change their mind and I'm still around maybe I'll still have time for them or secretly be there to catch if they fall if I can if I even get to know... 

 

not being funny or nuthn but where wd I go if I did need someone? 

-can't see it being a human I would go to personally..

and what's the point in needing someone?

I dnt thnk I need anybody and that they'd prolly mk it wrse anyway 

I'm glad I got this far to edit this today .. plz dnt break me by telling me to reach for help again plz tnx - in this country at least, that shit brings great trouble and shit goes awry and those whom you tell your worst fears make them come true ... the trick for me is to reject strength because that is strength , dn't ask for strength whatever ya do if you're me.. I learned that one the hard way

 

Thanks in a way cuz with that self reminding realization I can stop that fukkin unbearable 2 hour weep and looking on speedy ways out and say fuck you to those thoughts its not easy tho with that .. um other SABer thread..

 

^^ just personal way of dealing with it ... if you're trans like me and in the future reading this I guess I would probably advise taking the help if it you feel it can help you in that situation too and they're just tryna help n be kind I guess :3 xoxox

https://genderanalysis.net/2017/10/medical-professionals-increasingly-agree-trans-women-are-female-trans-men-are-male/

 

so yeah um didnt I used to just bang a random tune here n there in threads to cheer em up a bit?  there we go :) 

k im lying about the weeping being over n maybe i shdnt .. maybe its the hormones too? 

not lying about the fuck off to the other feelings tho ;) 

 

would help if my son answered his phone ..

Edited by ☽Ţ ҉ĥϋηϠ₡яღ☯ॐ€ðяئॐ♡Pϟiℓℴϟℴ
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is facebook anti trans? that's the 5th account this year ... suspicious activity is uploading a profile pic and adding about 14 friends?

 

 

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thnk i'll have a chance to take that advice in a bit with a good hug from my friend when she comes round in a bit :3

shame im in such a mess today it was the first ever weekend id managed to have my face plucked by..

 

srry i had to be a rock to beat the blues earlier 

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ok i got some 4200mg pueraria mirifica wooo 

decided to self experiment in the name of future learnings and take more than what it says to 

i think today i had 2x 4200mg for breakfast with 2 spoons of greek yoghurt

2 x 500mg + 2x 4200mg for dinner 

2x 200mg + 2x 500mg + 2x 4200mg for tea

and 4200mg x 2 just now :D ... 

and lots n lots of coffee made with alpro soymilk and a few tomatoes n fruits and 2 rounds of gu cheesecake (little glass ramekin of goo) to go down after 2 mouthfuls of hard earned goo from a beast of a d

 

not really sticking to a strict regimen and having too much fun to really post much 

 

P1050644.JPGP1050550.JPGP1050598.JPGP1050371.JPGP1050416.JPGP1050494.JPGP1050210.JPGVandas_titties_february.JPG

 

oh yeh i finally got my gp to refer me to the gender clinic for a nice 2 year wait while i fix myself up in the mean time :3 

 

managed to collect 3 new dna to add to mine too rawrz 

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Vandas_titties_february.JPG

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P1050371.JPG

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P1050494.JPG

P1050210.JPG

Vandas_titties_february.JPG

Edited by ☽Ţ ҉ĥϋηϠ₡яღ☯ॐ€ðяئॐ♡Pϟiℓℴϟℴ

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