Torsten

RIP andyamine

30 posts in this topic

On Friday morning my dear friend Christian D. passed away. Many of you will know him as andyamine - moderator on these forums. He was supposed to have joined me on the roadtrip to EGA, but pulled out last minute. I saw him for a few minutes the week before and he seemed like he was getting on top of the issues that had affected him so badly for the couple of months before. I left his place genuinely thinking he will be ok. He wasn't.
Look after your mates!  Depression is a killer. 
I will miss Christian.

(edit: a memorial SAB camp will be organised in the new year. Please see this thread)

 

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So sad.

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Noooooo this is awful news. My heart breaks. My thoughts are with you all in this sad time. I wish you peace in your passing Andyamine. Sad day. 

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Sad news. Condolences to those close to him. I valued his input around here.

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:(

 

RIP Christian.

 

See you on the other side.

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Damn!

Look after yourselves, and like T says, look after your mates. 

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dang I never got to ..

..could see he rocked for a long time !

 

Wishing peace and the tranquility on the other side mate and a big Hi to those I never got to know that also rocked just like ya, fella!

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So sorry bro

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His posts indicated a long struggle with a few conditions maybe RLS etc, not the prettiest circumstances but it always seemed like he was managing.

 

Very sad, seemed like a lovely bloke.

Edited by ThunderIdeal
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Didn't know him off these boards, but fucking gutted.

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Always painful to loose someone Rip Andyamine

Edited by Bigred
spelling

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Rip Andyamine, i hope you are in a place of peace and beauty

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Dear dear Christian, I enjoyed the chats we had, sharing our love for dogs. You made me smile, you said nice things to me.   What a nice guy.   I didn't realise just how down you were, for you never burdened me with your woes. I'm sorry I didn't see. I wish there was something I could have said or done to make  it all better. 

If only I could wake up and this be all a dream, but then, you would still be suffering?!  It makes me sad to think you had such pain. 
Thank you for letting me get to know you Christian.  You rest now. I won't forget you. 
 
To Christians family.....Take  comfort in knowing you raised a lovely,  decent human being. I've never heard any one say a bad word about Christian. He really was one of the good ones.  I'm truly sorry for your loss. xxx 
 
Argh. Such a shock. So sad.  
Edited by Amazonian
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Ahhh shit :( .He was a great person and will be sorely missed by all who knew him. I had the pleasure of meeting him, at the first SAB meet I ever went to, which i  held at my own house, and finally got to meet all the great users, who all happened to be better people than those I had known for many years. Up until that day, I only knew them by names such as AndyAmine, Jox, Gollum, Gem etc the list goes on...He was the last to leave Christian was one of the guys (and gals) who cemented my love of this forum, through his love of plants, and shit stirring humour, once you got to know him. 

Another member (person) gone too soon. I think his constant dedication to his plants and this forum, deserves to be immortalised through the naming of a new clone after him as well. Anyone working with any new genetics?

If you are ever down people, make sure you talk about it with people. No one likes to lose a brother or a sister, and im sure everyone on this forum would do all within they're power to cheer up or help a fellow member through a difficult time.

Suicide is a permanent fix to a temporary situation, and no point rushing....we all get there eventually.

R.I.P Christian. 

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rest in peace christian andyamine. you had a purpose, and a place here with us all. i trust your energy is in a more peaceful place now.

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i think this hasn't even sunk in for me yet, this weekend was pretty crazy and i think having other people around that needed me to hold it together for them really helped me keep it together. 

 

I just have no words, love you buddie. This will hit me hard now im back on my own im sure 

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3 hours ago, El Presidente Hillbillios said:

This will hit me hard now im back on my own im sure

 

I've been out of the loop for a while, so I can only guess what you mean by that.

 

I hope everything's OK mate.

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I think he just meant now that he isnt around other people that andy's death is gonna hit him 

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yeah thats what i meant Thunder. so many lovely souls on this forum 

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I’ve watched Andy help so many folks (including myself) through rough times over the years - sorry we couldn’t return the favour in the end.

 

Seeing you folks at EGA take care of each other I was so proud of the lot of you - you really are an amazing bunch. Hillbilly you’re a goddamn rock, and if you take even half as good care of yourself as you did of everyone else, you’ll be just fine.

 

It was good to have a little time out to grieve properly, in a beautiful place where we didn’t have to worry so much about keeping it together and acting normal. I had the viking camp theme in mind, so late at night went down to the lake that looked like an abyss full of stars and launched a little flaming effigy boat out into that mirror world. And danced with the joy of living so that my goodbye to him wouldn’t be only sadness of death, but also fierce gladness in life. It was nice to be in a place where I could get away with weirdness like that.

 

I talked with a lot of new people over the weekend and one thing that struck me was how many people at the conference had similar stories that had led them there - backgrounds with hard drugs & mental health issues, that they kept to themselves for fear of scaring the gentle tripper types. I know that talking about these things isn’t always helpful, and sometimes it’s better to not dwell & just get on with things - but if you’re suffering in silence because you think no one in this crowd will understand…you’re wrong.  Some have even found ways to heal & repair themselves, and may be able to offer more than just sympathy. All you have to do is ask.

 

There are so many paths that might lead to healing & fulfillment…I understand despair, but it’s not over while there are still things left to try. Every time I want to give up I remember that I still haven’t tried so many things: iboga therapy, quitting my job, living as a squatter & mural artist, coke & hookers til the money runs out, volunteering at an injecting room, or becoming a buddhist monk. And that any one of those might be the thing that renews my interest in life when it all seems lost.

 

So sorry that you didn’t find your peace in life AndyAmine

 

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i don't really know what to say. I wasn't going to comment here but felt the pull of my mates speaking their mind and had to say something.

Christian was one of a very few that actually spoke my lingo A deeper peer yet younger than i.He talked me through alot of painful problems withe quite ease

 

This showed he was a true 'next' generation thinker beyond my years in age. Always a clever laugh and listening was a forte to the max.

I'm going to miss his contributions here because they were unexpectedly generous withe information and his time.

I'm pretty gutted and lost  -for once- for words on this matter,

Ega was a hoot but i know the peeps that knew him were a bit empty inside when they got a bit high or something because he wasn't there to also get the buzz.

A top mod, person, mate, listener, jokester, brilliantly intelligence person and i never ever got to meet him.

:(

My condolences to his family.

respect

 

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I'm so sorry. He was a cool guy. Sad news.

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Really sad news. Horrible to lose a forum member, especially under such circumstances. I hope your struggles are over AA. 

As has been said, keep an eye on mates, some people prefer to suffer in silence. Never be ashamed of asking for help if you need it. 

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All my love, support and positive vibes to everyone here, especially you who were close to Christian. So sad. Never easy. Peace and Love. 

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I heard mention of a recent passing of an sab member at eja but did not realise the circumstance at the time. Very sad indeed. Rest in peace andyamine.

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