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My healing journey

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"...the human and philosophical inadequacy of scientific and medical materialism ... is taken for granted when educating young scientists and doctors. This consensus leads to the categorisation of many human experiences as anomalous in terms of this limited if powerful understanding. When one questions and puts aside the assumption that consciousness is produced by the brain, many of the experiences ... point towards a wider and deeper scientific and medical outlook, which has been the mission of the Scientific and Medical Network for over 40 years.

Western medical science is in the midst of a massive re-evaluation of the nature of consciousness and how it manifests in the lives of humans. A key aspect of this movement is the role of spirituality in mental and physical health, and how these effects vary in different cultures.


A shift is needed - towards a more culturally universal paradigm. [there is] the need to address questions of spirituality and religion, materialistic and spiritual perspectives and their importance for health." - Cultural Perspectives on Mental Wellbeing: Spiritual Interpretations of Symptoms in Medical Practice


The human journey:



The healing journey




My current personal interpretation (which is radically different to my many years seeing them as pathological psychiatric disorders, even though I work with both views) of my disorders [psychosis, trauma, addiction, autism, OCD/tics, anxiety, depression, confusion with sexuality] is that they are an ego-based low vibrational state and altered state of consciousness that leaves one at the mercy of shadow material and the collective/personal unconsciousness. By changing the vibrational state to love/compassion and allowing the ego to die to new (spiritual) dimensions, one can elevate their state of consciousness until they break free from pathology. These breakaways from ego are step-wise and there is continuous regression back to egoic consciousness but that shouldn't deter anyone. Keep weakening those ego boundaries until you naturally find balance. Let your heart and spirit unfold you to health.


This map seems to be spot on:



With regard to ego and schizophrenia:




"it is all about ego-identification, almost as if this illness is created from the feelings of total identification with the ego-self, and then because this makes the person sick, the only way in which they can assuage the illness is by continually feeding their pain body and it literally becomes them in a huge way in times of psychotic or bi-polar, or whatever episodes "


"[He was] very deliberately and often quite very cleverly sabotaging any happiness that is offered or made for him to allow the schizophrenia to proliferate. There seems to be need to feed off of the pain bodies of others, allow it to grow, as most people who love the person with the disorder get very hurt and despairing too, blaming themselves and each other. I've seen the collective pain body that this imbalance has brought up literally tear through my family like a tornado. There is a still centre that we all need to find, yet the temptation is to get swept along with it, just like the relentless thought process of the mind.


I am also very aware how each and every person affected by this imbalance has agreed to go through this process and also is a part of the imbalance, as we are all connected."




An important part of the journey was finding a masculine-feminine energy balance:




I also see that I was possessed by unconsciousness and needed to make the unconscious conscious: It went like this:





"Who we are...and how we cope...is not our fault. This kernel of wisdom can be a tremendous relief to anyone who struggles... There are so many forces that converge and shape who we have become as individual human beings.


No matter how dysfunctional our behaviors or how stuck we feel in them, everything has a reason that is fundamentally understandable, and as we learn from experience, fundamentally workable..."


"We may characterize more positive experiences— empathic, resonant relationships, nurturing social connections, rewarding accomplishments and achievements, the flow of kindness, compassion, gratitude, generosity, love, delight and awe — as nourishing and healing. "


"Shit happens. Shift happens, too"


"[We] learn to reverse the impact of stress and trauma; regulate surges of emotions to come out of anxiety, depression, grief, loneliness, guilt, and shame; deepen the self-compassion and empathy that connect them to their inner resources; overcome resistance and strengthen the resonant relationships that foster resilience;and shift their perspectives through mindful awareness and reflection to discern options and make wise choices."


"when we provide non-shaming, non-blaming guidance and expertise — in our theories, our maps, and our vision of problems and solutions — we allow our [people] to experience themselves as acceptable, loveable, cherished,and worthy and of significance to their family and community."


"This is what our brains are wired for: reaching out to and interacting with others....Increasing the social connections in our lives is probably the single easiest way to enhance our well-being"


"Shame is the intensely painful feeling or experience of believing we are flawed and therefore unworthy of acceptance and belonging.

'Shame erodes the part of ourselves that believes we are capable of change. We cannot change and grow when we are in shame,
and we can’t use shame to change ourselves or others.' — Brené Brown, PhD


Shame —the territory of embarrassment, rejection, failure, unworthiness, unlovability —has such a powerful impact on the sense of self, the psyche, because of our very human “biological imperative” to connect with other human beings: to belong, to be part of the tribe and feel wanted, accepted,and loved.


Perceiving one’s self as disconnected, cut off, or exiled from the tribe triggers the neuroception of life threat and triggers the dorsal dive. Thinking shuts down, coping becomes hiding and withdrawal.


We know the individual brain’s capacities to self-regulate, self-soothe, to be self-aware, self-accepting, be come competent, self-protecting and self-actualizing, strengthen lifelong in interactions with other human beings,and develop initially only in interactions with other human brains"


"The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change." — Carl Rogers


"How you respond to the issue... is the issue" — Frankie Perez


"Among the elements identified as key to full recovery from trauma (not necessarily in a linear sequence):


1. Acceptance of the reality of the event(s) and the consequences of the event (s).

2. Support from family/friends/community who believe in the client’s recovery and healing.

3. Finding a community of other people with the same trauma

4. Finding positive moments even in the midst of a catastrophe.

5. Positive re-framing; finding positive meaning in a negative event

6. Communicating about the trauma.

7. Helping others

8. Appreciating that the new life came because of the catastrophe, not just in spite of it"

- NEUROPLASTICITY The Game-Changer for Stress, Shame, and Trauma



My way out was via shamanic states of consciousness




"Shamanic transformation may stimulate neuroplasticity by helping the subject realize a more transcendent or spiritually integrated vision of themselves. The logic follows that visualization of a transcendent inner self will reinforce positive personality traits and behavioral changes to synchronize with inner idealization. Shamanic identity transformation is not instantaneous, but instead follows an integrative process of synaptic testing and reinforcement over a period of days to weeks." [link]


If you're on a journey, stay strong and speak to me anytime.

















Edited by Alchemica
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Glad to hear your path is leading out of the thorns alchemica.

All the best.

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wish I could remember the philosopher or author, but years ago I read parts of a book that was claiming that ego was only a few thousand years old - basically as old as modern religion and the male gods that represented them.


it suggested that prior to the male dominator religions (all of them) there were only female and agricutural/ plant gods and a distinct lack of what we would call 'ego'. 


not sure how this is relevant except for the words "western" and "consciousness" ,-)


also the tree looks much better without it.



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Wow, this is very interesting, thanks for sharing. My current "plan" consists of various scrap papers that i scribbled on out in the nature and now sit on my desk waiting to be deciphered. And thanks so much for the links, there's a lot of fodder within !! Cheers.

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