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ace1928

How do people get through the day sober?

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The title pretty much says it all. How do people get through each day without some kind of mind altering substances? Currently I don't know how. Life is tedious, boring and generally uninteresting. Doesn't matter what I do to try and change that I'm still just stuck in this rut. Probably the signs of a deeper underlying issue.
But still. Maybe peoples idea as to what an enjoyable sober day is will help me get through this shit. Life is hard. Substances make it easier by numbing the pain of existence. I need to figure out a way to numb that pain without them because my sources are so fucking unreliable that it just causes more problems than it can ever help solve.
Cheers
Ace

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I know where you're coming from. I've been exactly there.

 

I keep busy. Very busy.

 

Doesn't matter what you do or are doing, could be work, hobbies, researching some latest obsession, playing guitar, mowing the lawn, washing the car, riding your bike, whatever. Just keep busy, always.

 

This may seem like a simplistic response, but that's how I do it. It's weird, but somehow this keeps me simultaneously distracted from yet engaged in life, lol.

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I know what you're saying and I do all I can to keep myself as busy as possible. I'm working two jobs, maintaining a healthy relationship and I'm going to uni (even considering going on to do a second degree with double major in biology and chemistry) yet none of this is enough to distract me from life AND I'm able to do all of these things no matter how fucked up I am (ie high as all fuckery and still able to perform my jobs and do my uni without a hitch). I do get that busy-ness is good for keeping your mind off of the shittiness that is life yet I somehow seem to have this background thought process going on at all times that is analyzing all of the shit around me. It sucks. I honestly wish I were brain dead at times and struggling through life because at least then life would not seem so tedious as it would be a challenge.

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I agree with Alice, keep busy and have lots of hobbies.

 

Get your daily 'high ' from your hobbies and interests. It may take a while to ween off substances onto natural highs.

 

Remember, you can't solve negative situations with negative behaviour, -you have to work your way out of it with positive choices.

 

Also, many people simply 'grow out of' substance abuse. They realise that's it's not enjoyable any more and only causes suffering etc.

 

IMO, take or do what ever you want, but ONLY once in a blue moon, when your camping or hiking or having a wonderful time with friends etc. If your getting wasted in front of the TV or at work, then 'you're doing it wrong'.

Edited by Halcyon Daze
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Everyone takes drugs. Everyone. Lots of people just like to 'unclassify' certain substances from the moniker 'drugs', but that's another story.

 

The drug taking in itself is not an issue imo. The reasons for the use can be though.

 

If you are looking to escape and numb, seriously ask yourself what is so painful. Precisely, not vaguely hinting at what an underlying issue might be, but nailing the motherfucker right on the head. Once identified the only thing preventing you from processing/coming to terms with/understanding/releasing it is time and yourself. You always have a choice.

 

I feel many people who use cannabis (may or may not be you) feel what I call 'residual societal guilt', i.e. society says 'drugs' are bad, and I take drugs. Therefore I is a baddy. Whenever we do something illegal we acknowledge it on some level ("I am a criminal by doing this; society says so...") and this plays into people's perception of their drug use, usually by positing themselves as deviant. To really get beyond this we really need to again reflect honestly on what our drug use is aimed at achieving. If we come up with a reason that is frivolous and self-destructive, there you go. If we don't then surely we need to embrace said use as a part of our nature, of some benefit to ourselves, and perhaps more importantly archetypally human, and in the process work at unraveling our societal conditioning.

 

The only wrong way to do anything is if you are hurting yourself or others, which is even more the case if you are unconsciously doing it. I personally don't think being high as a motherfucker all the time is necessarily a bad thing; as long as you enter into it consciously with your own, clearly defined reasoning, and no one suffers from it. Actually being high, really high, all the time, is quite a challenge in my experience, simply because of tolerance.

 

It sounds to me like you are perhaps suffering from 'too many mind'. Regular doses of daily meditation can help you still your mind, especially the comparison/you-me/good-bad part aka DMN. Some people use certain substances because  they make the everyday novel, almost like a challenge ("I know I can do this task really well straight, but what about fucked up?"). 

 

Either way I reckon dodge the media, avoid music that brings too strong an emotional response (particularly anger and aggression) and maybe try a couple of tolerance days without, just so that what you are taking actually does what you want it to. Entering any drug use with a clear idea of what you want from it is important, and often people can be inclined to classify certain substances as not requiring consideration of set and setting. I beg to differ. Literally ask for what you want from the use, specifically, set your intention and have at it. Every time, with everything. Avoid caffeine, grog and durries imo, because they all should fall into the 'bad for you drugs' category, wherever the fuck that line is drawn these days.

 

If your relationship is healthy, both with yourself and others, surely life cannot be shit as well. Focus on what you have, and what is good in your life, and fuck all of the other shit. If you have your needs met, and you are at peace with yourself, let the alchemy of shit turning to gold begin!

 

/endhugepossiblypatronisingrant. 

Edited by Responsible Choice
spulling
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20 hours ago, Responsible Choice said:

If your relationship is healthy, both with yourself and others, surely life cannot be shit as well. Focus on what you have, and what is good in your life, and fuck all of the other shit. If you have your needs met, and you are at peace with yourself, let the alchemy of shit turning to gold begin!

 

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You are on the right track Ace.

 

You have clearly identified issues and sort help. All the responses are very helpful and insightful. We all have shit like this in our lives at some stage you are not alone. A lot of people are very good at suppressing their emotions and putting on a brave face.

 

Is this a chronic thing or maybe its more seasonal? No pun intended.

Using drugs to deal with or numb emotions is very easy and compelling, especially when emotions take over, but its not a real solution. I agree that drugs can be used to solve issues as long as you know your drugs and you have clear intent. But drugs are not usually the only or the best way. Although cacti have helped me to identify issues and let go of unhelpful emotions, but rarely the ones I expect :/

A better option may be to feel and accept the emotion, really feel the pain, loss, hopelessness. Embrace the pain like a friend who is telling you some bad news. Dare I say it cry, or at least shed a tear, feel the anger, hurt, joy, frustration, love, and then let it go. If you try to avoid and suppress emotions they will fight their way back and you will end up experiencing them over and over again. If you try to cling to positive emotions you will feel their loss. Really feeling and letting go of the emotions will also allow you to identify any underlying issues. Journal the emotions and issues, and share some with someone you trust. This can bring suppressed or undefined issues out so you can resolve them. Journaling can be very cathartic especially for emotional issues.  http://www.lifehack.org/articles/lifestyle/6-ways-journaling-will-change-your-life.html

 

Identify which issues you have control over, which you can influence, and the ones that are of concern but out of your control. If they are out of your control at this stage then let them go and focus on other areas. If the issues are in your control identity ways you can help or resolve them. http://www.centreforconfidence.co.uk/pp/techniques.php?p=c2lkPTYmdGlkPTMmaWQ9MzU=


Anyway I hope this helps. Giving advice is the easy part.

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I want to let go but I'm not ready.

 

I guess we all face this at certain times but it's a tough stone to turn over. It took a long time and alot of hard work to get this stone to where it is. 

It's going to take some time and effort to move it back... 

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I read.  At the end of the day it's probably just another form of escapism though...

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Quote

I honestly wish I were brain dead at times and struggling through life because at least then life would not seem so tedious as it would be a challenge.

 

I hope one day you dont have to see how fckn stupid that statement was.

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Hence the neo-zen koan "Before enlightenment make macaroni vacuum rug, after enlightenment make macaroni vacuum rug."

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If you find life tedious or boring then it's likely it will also be tedious and boring with mind altering substances. 

 

Lots of people get high...lots of people are sober. It's their attitude that makes a difference. You don't 'get through the day' you 'live life' and appreciate what you have. No one likes a whining complainer - be a passionate leader - you only live ONCE.

 

If you have belief in yourself you can live a full life and help others to do the same. It doesn't matter whether your high or not if you have a great attitude. If you are passionate about something it will be fun and shine through. If you have no passion for what you currently do then leave and challenge yourself into something new. Great things happen when we put ourselves on the line. Put yourself out there.

 

Seek people and situations that challenge you and reward your accomplishment. That is what you are lacking now.

 

I recently went through a rut and simply got back into fitness. I MTB up hills...I bought second hand skis and went skiing on the cheap. I started off by conquering mountains. Small ones, then bigger ones. No matter what happened in my life in the back of mind I always had that raw accomplishment, and sore thighs, to drive me both up and down the hills. 'Life is hard' is not descriptive enough and meaningless because it's hard for all lifeforms - its the language of a lazy person. Life is 'topographic'. Ride the waves, feel the vibes, paddle back out for more. 

 

 

Edited by botanika
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I feel your pain Ace. I have been there and I must be a slow learner because it took me many years to get to out of the rut that I made for myself. Thoughts and feelings will either work for you or against you. Take control of your thoughts and feelings by using the principles of positive psychology. It does take time and repetition to repace set negative behaviors and patterns of thought with positive ones. 

 

I really need to revisit some of this stuff. Thanks for the reminder, and all the ideas! 

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Drugs are like icing on a cake. If you have shit cake no amount of icing will help. If you have great cake and put too much icing on it you will wreck it. If you have a broken cake you can use icing to fix it. And a good analogy taken too far just turns into cooking advice

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Healthy eating habits, lots of sleep and regular exercise!

Not many people associate short term benefits when looking at health or getting healthy.
Over looking the fact that within the week that you start your routine, your body will reward you for being healthy!

How?
It makes you feel phenomenal?
I'm always on the go but I find time to go to gym 4-5 times a week and Kung Fu 4-5 times a week!

Legitimately, the medicine is hard to administer but build routine around some exercise and healthy eating and within a fortnight you'll remember how good your body was meant to always feel!

(Not to mention stretching, reading, gardening, meditation, camping, etc but these are all circumstantial)

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@Alice – I keep as busy as is humanly possible too. It just isn’t enough to completely preoccupy myself. I definitely get what you mean about using the busy to simultaneously engage and disengage from life. It just isn’t quite effective enough for me. And there is no possibility of fitting more into my schedule without sacrificing sleep. Pretty much doing 60 hours of work a week at the moment and doing uni and working on home projects at the same time. Thanks for the input though.

@Halcyon Daze – I don’t really have much I can respond with to that other than the fact that I’ve never really gotten a “natural high” from any kind of activity. Things just never really feel fulfilling or worthwhile. I get where you are coming from but the “natural high” so many people speak of is just completely illusive from my point of view. Cheers though.

@Responsible Choice – I most definitely never feel guilty about taking illegal or legal substances as I don’t really care what most of society thinks. Who are they to decide what is fundamentally good or bad? Most are idiots to begin with that have no Idea about what they are talking about so their opinion doesn’t concern me. I do not watch TV, read newspapers or listen to radio all that often at all. Not sure how else I can easily avoid the media. I rarely listen to music that invokes too much emotion as well because I do not really have an outlet for any kind of emotion that may build up, especially in relation to anger or anything that could be remotely destructive. Caffeine I don’t go near very often but alcohol is pretty much the only thing I can touch at the moment (as I am likely to be drug tested for a new job in the coming month), because of this alcohol is my go to sedative at night at the moment. I don’t particularly enjoy it compared to weed, which is my usual go to, but it does the job at allowing me to fall asleep a lot easier. I most definitely do not drink the day away. As for the healthy relationship thing, I kind of just feel like they are shallow most of the time. You only feel close to those you are around frequently and for long duration. There is nothing inherently special about any person you are close to, just as there is not usually anything inherently bad about other people that you aren’t close to. And my needs of life are met but what is the point to that? So I can slowly exist throughout the next couple of decades, being a “productive member of society” and then fade out of existence leaving essentially no mark of any kind of meaning on the world? It’s fairly pointless and I think that is the crux of the problem.
Don’t stress about being patronising. It’s all g.

@Etherealdrifter – Relationships can most definitely be healthy and “good” while life is simultaneously dreary, mundane and boring. That’s essentially the issue.

@Marty Achuma – Most definitely chronic. Something that has pretty much been on my mind since quite a young age. I tend to overthink things and always have. Winter for sure makes it worse because I bitterly hate the cold and it makes the mundane “chores” of life seem just that little bit worse. Lol. Pretty petty complaint but nonetheless it still affects my mood. Perhaps I do need one hell of a mindfuck of a trip to try and reorganise my “priorities” in life, but numbing emotions is most definitely an easy way to not care about them anymore. From my own experiences that is about all that anti-depressants usually do anyways and to the medical community that is a good thing as it allows you to be a productive member of society. I don’t disagree with productivity being good but what are the point of emotions if they tend to just get in the way of life anyways? I think one of the issues I have with sharing how I’m feeling with those around me is that I am a burden on them and they are most likely going through the same shit. Sharing it through the corroboree is a bit different as there is a little more anonymity and people can choose to read it or ignore it as they see fit. Plus you do get some real assholes on here occasionally (I can most definitely be one) that are more than willing to cut you down in a way that no close friend could. Sometimes that is very productive. Cheers for the advice and help. I get where you are coming from. I just haven’t been able to get so much help from doing those things (and don’t worry, the seasonal vs chronic thing is a pretty genuinely important question to ask relating to these types of things).

@Wert – Although the substances are different I most definitely think that you would understand where I’m coming from, due to your own issues with alcohol (which can be one hell of a beast to deal with). Time and effort seem to be the key to all things. Hopefully the end destination is somewhat enjoyable and not just a state of further boredom and existential dread, albeit a “healthier” one for the body.

@CrayZ – I really do think that almost all hobbies and activities, sometimes even work, are used to help people escape from the things they don’t want to confront in life. An example I often think of is when people on low to middle class incomes get bored when they have holidays. Are they genuinely unable to think of satisfying things to do or do they just simply lack the means to do the things they want? I tend to think it’s the latter and that is the situation that most of us are stuck in.

@Distracted – You sir have found the best meme ever in regards to summarising my day to day life. Thank you.

@Waterboy2.0 – Perhaps you just don’t know where I’m coming from. For example, have you seen many idiots out there that torment themselves over why they are doing the things they are doing? I haven’t, in fact it seems to be one of the hallmarks of a fool. Not knowing why, nor caring why, you are doing the things that you are doing in life. Additionally, wouldn’t it be good if one day I saw the stupidity behind the statement? That would be a sign that I’ve changed and things are progressing in a “good” way. Nice input though. Lol.

@botanika – Well, it isn’t tedious or boring with substances. It is either different, and therefore interesting, or it is challenging, and therefore not boring. I’m definitely passionate about the things that I do, and people do notice that, as you point out.  It doesn’t mean that I don’t find the rest of life to be boring. And one cannot simply do what they are passionate about 24/7 because of, you know, life. As for the “you only live once” statement: Thank fucking god for that. If I die and find out there is a “second life” I will not be there for long. Fuck doing all this shit over again. And it’s rad that you can find enjoyment and accomplishment in skiing and riding bikes. I do not get the same kind of accomplishment by simply going up and down hills. I’m glad that I come across as a lazy person to you. That must be the underlying root cause as to why I find life a tedious pain in the ass. Cheers bro. Much good input.

@WiZKiD – I eat as healthy as I can afford to as often as I can afford to, I sleep as well as I can but that is very difficult at the moment because I used to use weed to help me get to bed. At least I have some sleeping tablets now that help. And My job is very physically demanding on the best of days, I walk very frequently and when possible I try and go hiking around different hilly terrain that is challenging. As for getting healthy, I most definitely have adopted that. I’ve managed to lose over 30 kgs of weight and keep it off since deciding to get out of my “live on Centrelink doing nothing” lifestyle. Healthiness most definitely makes life less difficult but I don’t find it to make life any more fulfilling. Unfortunately no matter how good I feel physically it does very little for my state of mind.

Sorry to all for the long winded post. I do appreciate the input and I’ve been waiting long enough to be able to reply to multiple people at once, so that I don’t end up just messaging backwards and forwards to everyone every ten minutes or so. I really do understand where each of you are coming from and I have genuinely tried to implement almost everything that has been said. It just doesn’t help for me. I’ve also been to doctors and gone through the medication route, as I most definitely come across depressed when I voice how I feel about life, but every medicine I’ve tried numbs me to everything in life all the time. Which is fine for productivity but it doesn’t actually help the underlying problem and I’m productive enough as it is even when I’m unhappy. No amount of unhappiness or disappointment in life will stop me from doing what I have to do. I just simply don’t enjoy much of what I’m doing on a day to day basis, even if it’s something I’m passionate about. No idea why. Would love to hear from anyone else who has this same kind of issue.

Cheers everyone.

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I don't offer this as advice and it shouldn't be taken as such. The mind can be your friend or your enemy.

I have at times, deliberately or through carelessness, put myself in risky situations where I could have very easily lost my life. Once or maybe twice I actually thought I was really about to die. Nothing puts life into perspective and helps you appreciate the little things more than confronting your own imminent demise. Life really is short even when it feels too long.

Again, please don't take this as advice, I am not encouraging anyone to engage in life threatening behaviour.

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Hey Glaukus. I've come very close to death myself, one occasion I'd dare say I'd already started to step through the doorway, but on others I was just in a situation where if things had gone slightly differently I'd be gone. And you are right, it does put life into perspective. To me it outlined how meaningless alot of it really is... Probably not the message that most would take from such an experience but I am so insignificant that it doesn't really matter.

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I understand more than you imagine....all too well....

 

but my point was lost on you by the looks of it....and that wasnt an attack BTW , and I didnt call you an idiot

I dare say you are not use to blokes of my character....

 

The fact you still dont get it means its time for me to walk away though.

 

Edited by waterboy 2.0
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Oh I totally get what you are saying. I just simply disagree with it. And I would imagine that the vast majority of folks on this forum get what I, and you, are saying.
To walk away though is the easy way out lol. Each to their own I suppose.

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nah you dont...lol

 

and you confirmed that in writing....

Edited by waterboy 2.0
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I'm glad you can read my mind bruh. Good job :D

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*nearly baited...keep on, keeping on

Edited by waterboy 2.0

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Can I just wade in and say what we're all thinking here?

 

Ace, change your fucking avatar mate or get one.

 

For reel tho.

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