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stonewolf

An open letter to Possums

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Dear Possums,

Fuck you.

You've eaten my plants one too many times and this means war.

I've been patient, more than reasonable.

When you ate my Tomatoes I let it slide. When you ate my chilies I shrugged it off. I was even willing to let bygones be bygones and forgive the capsicum you greedily scoffed as my back was turned.

Well no more.

You knocked over my Khat just as it was taking off and that I cannot forgive.

I'm going to use everything at my disposal short of killing you to make sure this never happens again.

Merry Christmas,

Stonewolf

If anyone has any suggestions as to how to deal with these bastards I'd appreciate it.

I'm getting a greenhouse but not everything with fit in there.

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Had a good chortle at your post man, funny. :)

If you watch them for a few nights you will see where there 'paths' are, they follow the same paths with scent marking - as this is familiar to them. Once you have gleaned their movements remove any special plants n things from these areas.

Create a feeding station for them.

Old fruits and veg and specially fresh fruit like apples and pears and peaches and even watermelon they love to munch on.

This will act as a diversion and keep them away from your other plants.

The boss possums will eat first, followed buy the lower in their pecking order.

They are part of the ecology of your garden, embrace them.

They were prob there before you too, so they are thinking, wtf, who's this in our patch

They would be very grateful to you for the assistance you have provided them thus far and will become a 'feature, instead of a nusience in the yard once you 'train' them to eat in a certain place.

Possums don't really like the ground much.

They fall out of trees during storms and arguments with other possums, or climb down to the ground to get to another tree if the canopies of trees don't reach each other.

It may be rats eating the tomatoes.

They have trails as well, usually darkened by their tails slapping against areas they climb

Rats can ring bark plants and small trees that they don't like in their paths.

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peeling the fruit for the possums with a knife like the one above will assist them in their nightly meals :)

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..Create a feeding station for them.

Old fruits and veg and specially fresh fruit like apples and pears and peaches and even watermelon they love to munch on.

This will act as a diversion and keep them away from your other plants.

The boss possums will eat first, followed buy the lower in their pecking order.

..They were prob there before you too, so they are thinking, wtf, who's this in our patch...

unless you want to spend every night for the rest of your life feeding an ever growing group of unhealthily competitive, human-dependent possums then this is bad advice (sorry olive).

you will be creating a highly competitive environment where every male possum in the area will be vying to take over the dominant males patch & every female will be showing up to see which male comes out on top.. eventually (depending where you live) you will more than likely end up with a huge group of extremely competitive possums who will all be expecting a feed every single night. in a situation like this, what do you reckon happens when you miss a feed?

speaking of ecology, short of destroying their habitat completely, feeding wild animals is creating a highly unnatural situation which is entirely at odds with the natural ecology these possums are part of..

you may be totally new to an area which is possum habitat but more often than not your lush watered fruit & veg garden is a primo habitat & food source that possums from neighboring areas are keen to make their territory.. having such a primo food source (not to mention feeding them deliberately) creates an unnatural habitat which leads to overpopulation & an unnatural & unhealthy competitiveness that can lead to unhappy & unhealthy possums.

not that i disagree with olive entirely.. often embracing them is more intelligent than going to war. IMO you want to be careful with what form that embracing takes or you may be sorry. at very least you will most probably be creating a larger problem for the possums without even realizing it.

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Peeling the possums with a knife like above wont assist them in their nightly meals though

Edited by El presidente Hillbillios
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I've given up trying to control possums. They piss and shit on my car every night. At least they don't eat my lophs anymore though.

I dunno man. If you have a dog in your yard they will usually think twice about ground level missions.

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floppy top fence an option?? or a cage ?

yep, rats leave a greasy mark for sure.

Edited by waterboy 2.0

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A solution is better than extremism.

I respect your opinion Paradox.

The possums habitat is already damaged by over population of humans

Skin the humans, eat them, they taste like pork.

More meat on a person than a possum

What was before the possum

When the mega fauna became extinct due to humans hunting and killing them, when the eucalypts took over after mass burning of the previous forrests.

We have created this issue, it is not a problem

Everything is out of balance, has been for thousands of years

More possums, less people.

More environments and more help for the animals, no matter what they are, it's the least we can do.

It's the fox and the cat thing.

Everything has a place, even bloody people.

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yeah, and if your going to eat a human, particularly a male, stimulate him first so he gains an erection, that way there will be more meat on the plate.

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But then the meat would be a bit tough, yeah?

If only there was a detachable meat hard.

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I was about to take olives advice and start feeding them but after hearing the alternative argument I'm not sure.

Thanks guys for all the input.

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But then the meat would be a bit tough, yeah?

If only there was a detachable meat hard.

yeah but if you get it at just the right time it could be fucking loaded with protein.

edit: because im drunk and only typed half the 2 letter words for some reason. well probably because I'm druk actually?

Edited by wert

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druk... see what I mean. I give up time for bed I think.

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Its good for ya. Puts hairs on your chest, apparently ;)

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It might be OK to feed them to get them away from your crop of choice on a large property, I can't see that scaling to a suburban block though.

I wouldn't encourage the bastards to come to my place.

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You're cool Sally. I really like your signature.

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What is an American redneck 7 course meal?

An opossum and a 6 pack.

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Not to touchy feely I know ;but if all else fails electric fence!

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Having tried most things, a friend suggested peeing in the area they go, They are put off as they think other animals are there.

Working so far.

Pee Into a container, or straight onto the ground/plant. As long as the neighbours are not watching.

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An assassin must learn the ways of it's target, be patient and then strike when the most carnage can be achieved.

 

So.............wait til dusk and watch where they come from and where they traverse - this aint hard as they are habitual.........then remove their pathway utilizing mechanisms to disrupt their journey ie lead them up a pathway that goes no where and they cannot come back from.

This could be as simple as an alternate route to the bush or a neighbour's house -  who keeps telling you how cute they are.

Either way, they're very cute as moccasins, taste not bad and are not endangered in my parts.

:devil:

the pissing thing doesnt work but waiting on the roof with a blackjack in hand does

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39 minutes ago, etherealdrifter said:

An assassin must learn the ways of it's target

Caddy Shack comes to mind.images.thumb.jpeg.5e37ef2868f02740bf8407162b247363.jpeg

images.thumb.jpeg.5e37ef2868f02740bf8407162b247363.jpeg

images.thumb.jpeg.5e37ef2868f02740bf8407162b247363.jpeg

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