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Nice work Olive - Have you tried yoga or tai chi? They are very balancing habits to get into, and can often help maintain a state of balance after a bumpy ride. Yoga Nidra has been helpful for me. Through this practice i have been able to identify, and 're-wire' some subconscious or underlying issues that caused less than ideal behaviors in my waking state.

Be mindful of jumping out of the frying pan and into the fire with pharmaceutical panaceas such as antidepressants and anti psychotics. They do serve a purpose in the short term if they are managed correctly, but long term they seem to be counter productive. They have their place, but if you can manage with a healthy lifestyle/counselling/yoga/taichi/excercise etc then you'll find firmer ground beneath your feet than with a chemical crutch.

Well done - It takes a lot of effort to do what you've done, and even more to share the experience with others. Hats off to you and hand shakes all round. :worship:

Edit: Book by 'Swami Satyananda Saraswati' on Yoga Nidra http://bookzz.org/book/2306370/4f8b4c

Edited by IndianDreaming
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addiction is a hard one very hard and will take a lot of energy but you will get there . You need to get the positive

links back into your life and say goodbye to the negative .Hope your starting to sleep naturally and get back into

a healthy routine .

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subby im sorry but you seem like a whinging bitch....

But aren't we all in reality? Most people just don't have the minerals to wear there heart on there sleeve on a public forum.

Fact is, I've never attacked anyone personally on this forum, but every time I've come out and bleed my heart out about mental illness on this site, I've been shot down and told to 'man up' (paraphrasing). But Olive's issues caused 2 highly respected members to leave and members are treading on egg shells and going out of there way to offer support.

The reason is simple... Olive has something which could be useful to most members (cuttings plants seeds, ect), yet I have nothing of use to offer anyone... I am merely a fellow human being, living in this mysterious complex, which is our reality.

In other words, the corroboree really is no different to main stream society in general... You are happy to pretend to be as enlightened, understanding & empathetic as they come, but only under the condition that they have something of materialistic value which could prove beneficial to you some day.... Just being a fellow homo sapien, just don't cut it.

It's both a cruel, yet understandable reality of our existence. We are after all just primitive life forms.

Anyway, I do wish ya the best of luck Olive, with whatever dark cloud your dealing with atm. I've always liked ya from what I've seen on these forums... But I don't do the plastic mentality sugar coating thing braz... You can call me an idiot or a loser, but at least I'll never be fake or disingenuous.

Peace

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.

Edited by glimpse

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what were you going to say glimpse?

apart from subbys back?

I'm intrigued?

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subbys a task master. I'm sure he can resolve and rectify his damages on his own accord. well hopefully because there ain't no insurance policies on the corroboree.

but his attitude has changed none the less. he's probably the sexyest man second to fabio after getting smashed in the face by a seagull while riding a rollercoaster and it will be just a small amount of time before he starts calling my infant daughters whores.

oh well. were all human I guess?

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Hey you, Olive *big hugs* :)

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Beginning of December now and we are still clean and happy and fully intend to keep it this way.

Life is so much nicer not being addled with the need for illicit substances.

The antidepressant I am on is helping me immensely.

This medication I suddenly stopped a while back which contributed to the madness I experienced, am taking one sleeping pill each night also as getting to sleep is very difficult without cones. I used to have many, many cones each day.

Very wise words from those that have offered and continue to give their support.

Thank you, these offerings have helped me immensely.

I've never had so many friends in all my life.

I was into yoga a bit before, don't know what kind though, a dvd it is.

For me working on the farm doing physical work is a cure all, slogging it out in the garden, climbing 45 degree hills to check the fences and things like this have reinvigorated my zest for life. The sun is a beutiful star, so warming and honest.

Government shrinks are government shrinks. :)

I will continue on the antidepressant until I feel I no longer need it, atm the benefits outweigh any side effect, I just can't stop it suddenly and must ween off them slowly when ready.

If I gotta take it for the rest of my life then so be it.

Insanity is so dark and cold, so alien, so un me.

Sleeping pill - the same, soon I cut down to half a pill, then a quarter, then none.

Dreaming freaks me out, havnt remembered dreams in so long, they are so vivid now, some are downright scary.

I dunno if your description is entirely accurate Subaeruginosin.

We all have our own opinions and you are certainly entitled to yours.

If I took the piss out of you for being mentally ill then I am sorry, we have different recollections of what transpired I'm sure.

I recall pushing you to far, this I regret now as I feel now having sympathy tword someone who is obviously needing it is a wiser way to respond than taking the piss.

At times having lots of plants can be a liability.

Jellyfish and jackals coming outa the woodwork having a go in the guise of their own self righteousness or insecurities is human nature.

We all have faults, we all break at times, it's how we put our selves back together and get back up and carry on that counts.

Crying is good, admitting faults and self repair is the way forward.

I am not one to sugar coat shit either, this won't change.

Pull me out and I'll rip into whoever does, this is my conditioning, base impulse.

Very difficult to deny, I've embraced it for many years, hating the haters is how I have survived the hurt and terror.

Adding a dash of care, consideration and empathy though is a nicer way to approach things, embedding a YouTube clip is now my solution instead of telling people to get fucked, a song will do it for me. :)

Not perfect, though it's a start.

The sun is out, the dark clouds are gone, the hunt for cactus continues.

The relentless pursuit of betternes, a freedom not experienced for many years, fresh, free, alive.

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I love you Fancy Pants.

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fwiw my anti depressants have me waking up from dreams that feel real. it takes me a while to re collaborate and work out what is what.

it seems my dreams are more fluent with my daily habits and routines. very trippy.

I wake up early and have to leave my two daughters and partner in bed to have a cigarette then lay on the couch to relocate exactly where the fuck I am in terms of dream happenings and actual reality.

fuckin drivin me insane to be honest.

wert.

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Sheesh Wert that don't sound too good man.

If it becomes a problem maybe talk to the doctor bout it, there's a number of different types of ssri's, some try a few kinds before finding the right one.

Taking it first thing in the morning with a good feed I have found is best for me, by 9 am it has kicked in fully and I feel truely positive.

Waking up with a keenness for the day is wonderful, there is no up and down anymore, just a steady flow.

Reckon I did some serious serotonin messing up with all the things I've taken over the years.

The only time I have astral travelled was when I was strait for 3 months when I was 21.

I remember this so vividly.

Makes me think being strait is actually the real high, if this is the case I'm happy to be wasted strait.

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I'll have what he's having...

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yeah just get get the right brugmansibrugmansia sanguiniea n y'all know what ima talking bout.

ive been drifting in and out of sleep thinking I'm smoking and dropped the ciggy, glasses of water being spilt, my phone vibrating and countless other things to do with my hands whiiile im semi conscious.

pissed noww goinh to sleep.

goodnight all.

be happy.

wert.

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