Sallubrious Posted October 6, 2015 (edited) I was wondering if anyone is growing any non invasive Bamboo ? I have an arsehole for a neighbour who's been making life difficult lately. I actually have several arseholes for neighbours but this is specific to one prick in particular. I let him cut down two trees in my yard because he was getting a pool. Then the prick started to invite every drunken yobbo in town around for pool parties. After a while they started abusing me and my Mrs whenever we went out the back to hang clothes on the line etc. Then they started throwing their rubbish in my yard. Next he got a high power stereo and fitted speakers to the back of his house, pointing directly at my house and he also bought a disco light show. So almost every weekend in summer it's wall to wall drunken yobbos, swearing screaming and yahooing into the early hours of the morning. The fucking stereo is that loud I have to sit inside with the door shut to hear my radio or for Mrs to watch TV. On top of that all my mimosa's have died. I'm sure the prick jumped the fence and poisoned them because they were growing so fast he thought he might have another tree problem coming on. So I originally planned to plant a really invasive species of Bamboo along the back fence that would send out roots under his pavers around the pool and fuck it up. After a bit of thought I decided with my propensity for laziness that idea could backfire and leave me with a problem too big to deal with. So I'm after a clumping Bamboo that will form a shield and piss him off. If it's resistant to roundup all the better, I'm sure the prick will spray it. Edited October 6, 2015 by Sally Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wert Posted October 6, 2015 fucking prick. maybe you should bomb his pool with something that will irritate the fuck out of anyone who swims in it while you wait for your bamboo to do its job. feel for you and your partner you shouldn't have to put up with that shit! 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
2Deep2Handle Posted October 6, 2015 (edited) water saving crystals FTW! a 1kg bucket should do about 75 000 litres EDIT: Have you thought about using a fast growing alternative like Syzygium (lilly pilly) or boring Murraya paniculata (Mock orange), or the prickly Duranta repens 'Sheenas Gold', which should give him a nice surprise if he ever tries to come over your fence and through your hedge trying to poison things. You could call it 'Sacrificial Sheena'!If not perhaps tiger grass, that stops about the height you need to screen.Keep in mind even the dwarf forms of most cultivars of clumping bamboo will go to at least 5m, and some much taller, maybe giving you more than you bargained for if your planning on being there for more than 4-5 years (ie no sunlight or a shit load of work), not to mention there not usually cheap to purchase. Edited October 6, 2015 by 2Deep2Handle 3 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sallubrious Posted October 6, 2015 As appealing as those ideas sound, I think I'll pass on those suggestions. His grandkids use the pool, it's not their fault that their grandad is an arsehole, & I'm the only one of the neighbours that's ever spoken up about his bullshit, so he'd know it was me. The Bamboo will suffice, it will keep giving it to him for years. Everytime he comes out for his morning coffee and cleans his pool, he'll see it a bit bigger than before and he'll stress the fuck out of himself. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
spooge Posted October 6, 2015 (edited) if all else fails, buy a big bag of pool salt and pour it in there when there not home this will fuck the ph so much they won't be swimming in it for a week tell some thieves about his stereo etc so it goes walkies worst case wait till they are not home go for a swim with an axe and put a nice big crack in the bottom of the pool make sure there is no cctv and no one sees you. In all seriousness, record them and take the footage to your local council and make a complaint also to the epa. ring the newspaper. ring the police every time he plays loud music, 10am-10pm only as far as I'm aware. also make his and his families life hell, theres lotsa ways, n then they will learn respect. piss in their pool also, maybe a floater or 2 as well sorry didn't know his grandkids also use the pool so please forget the solutions in blue why don't you approach him and tell him its getting serious now - serious means council intervention and maybe even court Edited October 6, 2015 by olive Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
2Deep2Handle Posted October 6, 2015 piss in their pool also, maybe a floater or 2 as well Absolutely ingenious Pim! and then blame his kids ;) Failing that, and going with the original bamboo idea, don't forget to install some kind of barricade to a depth of at least 700-800mm on your side of the trench so its clumps in the direction you want it to. It might be clumping, but it's still voracious once it gets going. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
spooge Posted October 6, 2015 a $200 lawyer letter also works wonders Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
spooge Posted October 6, 2015 I know this sounds and is a bit draconian, but why don't you organise a big party as well same night as his and have it out, once and for all, brawl, fight, all that it takes. no weapons, bare knuckle, elbows and knees inc. the 'winners' win and the losers shut up and continue to cause no disturbance or they get a floggin again. I'm aware this is not a mature solution however sometimes one must lower them selves to the bottom feeders level to prove a valid point. my closest neighbours are bout 500mts away which is best for both of us. 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
spooge Posted October 6, 2015 if your still keen on bamboo I've some quick growing black stemmed type i can send you Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
spooge Posted October 6, 2015 (edited) double post oh yeah, people with pools hate lilac trees these are really quick and you can plant them right on the boundary fence also may be time for a small cctv set up if he is poisoning your plants. Edited October 6, 2015 by olive Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
nut Posted October 6, 2015 I like the bamboo and barricade. It's a true cunt to put the breaks on that shit and it grows so fast. Make it happen and keep us updated ! 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
shortly Posted October 6, 2015 In all honesty after having lived with such a neighbour the only thing you can do is move, the pricks just wear you down and is very likely to become a tit of tat. So unless you can purchase his mortgage and force him out, or start supplying him with lots & lots of benzo's, just move. No you shouldnt have to move, but since murder is still illegal it is sometimes the better option. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sallubrious Posted October 6, 2015 I know this sounds and is a bit draconian, but why don't you organise a big party as well same night as his and have it out, once and for all, brawl, fight, all that it takes. no weapons, bare knuckle, elbows and knees inc. the 'winners' win and the losers shut up and continue to cause no disturbance or they get a floggin again. I'm aware this is not a mature solution however sometimes one must lower them selves to the bottom feeders level to prove a valid point. my closest neighbours are bout 500mts away which is best for both of us. I've had 4 punchups in the last few months Olive. Not with him, with some of the other locals, the local junkies hate me because I'm not on herion or ice. The paranoid cunts think I've dobbed them in for something. I'm sick of fighting. I could easy take the prick with the pool but his son rides with a local MC club, so that wouldn't work out so well for me. He's only a hero when his biker mates are there. I think I only have 1 friend who'd turn up if I threw a party and that would be my Mrs, so it would be a 1 sided brawl - me against 15 bikers @ Shortly, I'm trapped here mate, I'm unemployable because of injuries I have, I can't even get a job as a checkout chick. No-one employs people that have had a broken back and have a list of other permanent injuries as long as their arm. I'll never have the money to escape. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
spooge Posted October 7, 2015 sorry for that man, if the guy is MC'd up then you have no chance, might as well go and party with them and make them your friends. Im sooooo fucking sick of fighting as well, I've not been in physical fights of late but so many other 'fights' it just wares you down. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
flora Posted October 7, 2015 that sux sally. i would also like to grow bamboo between me and my neighbours new 2 story complex thing but i dont know if would be any good right next to the driveways anyway i just read this, not sure if this is usefeul information to you or not but it seems appropriate so ill just regurgitate it: Bambusa textilis gracilis This is the most beautiful and most popular of all bamboos. A clumping type, it has wonderful thin stalks (about 4cm) that are elegant and fantastically architectural.If you want to block out anything, noise, pollution, neighbours - this is the bamboo for you.. Very thin matting root system as well.It will grow to 6 mtrs in 2 years, has a very upright habit and does not drop a lot of leaf matter. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
