Nothing is fun anymore :(

[Meditator]

Hey if you need something to help OCD and your inability to sit still with comfortability, id suggest the amino acid L-Glutamine. Aswell as a magnesium supplement.

These both work wonders for both problems.

The second problem sounds like a form of neuronal dysfunction imbalancing your central and peripheral nerves and brain. Sounds like restless leg syndrome ^^ This causes your NMDA receptors to just go haywire. Both magnesium and glutamine work on NMDA receptors. Both are good for depression btw. Glutamine is a precusor for GABA.

Do you enjoy alcohol and benzos? GABA is what those work with. Alcohol works on NMDA receptors aswell and alcohol abuse can cause them to become desensitized and damaged even.

If that turkey is related to the alcoholic drink because you like alcohol.. Your serotonin may never have been the problem. GABA and epinephrine and possibly testosterone couldve been, this all relate indirectly to dopamine. Alcohol disrupts the function of epinephrine on the liver. Unhappy liver fucks with the brain. Maybe your liver is talking to you. Liver and iron are directly connected to yknow. Low iron low testosterone connection? Alcohol turns testosterone to estrogen to..

And one last suggestion would be L- Theanine from green tea. That stuff works on the NMDA receptors... That stuff is psychoactive no doubt. Green tea is actually quite a powerful drug... Ive got like a pound of the good shit commin in the mail.. Matcha! 3 cups of that stuff and my alpha brain waves increase (an effect of theanine)to the point where my vision expands like ive taken some powerful drug no joke.

Hope this helps.

EDIT: btw this NMDA receptor connection is in need of more information.

NMDA receptors are like secondary messangers to dopamine. They are connected in function. I believe the mu opiate receptors also are connected.

Do you remember when DXM was really popular and ketamine was all the rave (yes that was a joke) and people were talking about these two like people talk about DMT now? I remember in that time seeing numerous posts of studies on both drugs due to their direct Antagonist action to the NMDA receptors.

Ketamine in particular was researched and found that small doses basically eleviated depression instantly! And people were finding that microdoses of DXM daily not only helped depression but also boosted their cognitive capacitiy like the racetams were a joke.

L glutamine is safe in doses up to 20 grams daily. Much more actually. Some body builders use over 50 a day i hear. Id reccomend if you wanted to try supplementing glutamine 1 gram with each meal. The differance is subtle. 5 grams of L-Glutamine honestly in my experience its like 5 mg of valium minus the slowing and motor effects. Its very very good for you too. The immune boost of glutathione helps depression aswell.

DXM btw.. Was what they made when they made codeine cough syrup prescription. They needed an effective supressent OTC so they altered the opiate molecular structure in such a way that instead of hitting the mu opiate receptors it hit the NMDA. And it was quite effective. Oh but they didnt see the abuse comming did they... SSRIS with dxm IS NOT SAFE though. Dont try that.

If you want to rebalance yourself neurologically you should get mutiple opinions and views before you do anything btw. Your doctor sounds like he still thinks your serotonin is the problem.. Not to discredit him but doctors seem to have this really unevolved idea that serotonin is the only factor in mood. When i see that i usually discredit them instantly a bit.

Edited July 13, 2014 by Meditator

[Meditator]

Btw its impossible to be depressed while listening to this song.

 

Edited July 13, 2014 by Meditator

[mutant]

Mediator

I am of those people that believe cannabis (whatever the strain) can worsen any case of psychological issues or even trigger them before they are evident: from fear disorders to anxiety disorders todepression, to bi-polar to psychosis and schizophrenia.

I noted that IMO sativa dominant strains would be the a better choice for persons with depression tendencies IF THEY HAVE TO SMOKE.

I also think that a 70-30 sativa dominant strain is still too much indica, let alone that numbers are not really absolute.

I also think you are right in that a person prone to anxiey might find sativas worsening the anxiety.

All in all I dont think cannabis is a good drug for neurosis, rather the opposite..

[☽Ţ ҉ĥϋηϠ₡яღ☯ॐ€ðяئॐ♡Pϟiℓℴϟℴ]

wont be long before the truth catches you up over that side of europe if that's still actually believed there ...

its quite a shock when it sinks in too, its less harmful than food and beats any treatments already in use for the above things you mention

I'm of the "new changeling perception" thats seen "their" bare-assed lie come to an abrupt halt in phenomenal pants-pulled-down exposure x]

-and find it somewhat amusing watching them scrabble about here...

its bout time the last few straggler countries stopped lying about weed to their own people and find a more honest source of income than bugging the

pot heads for something next to nothing.

- appears to be the only treatment that's "universal" with almost any other treatment imaginable too

Edited July 14, 2014 by ☽Ţ ҉ĥϋηϠ₡яღ☯ॐ€ðяئॐ♡Pϟiℓℴϟℴ

[Meditator]

Yeah youre right about the 70-30 ratio possibly being too much or too little.

There is no set 100 percent Sativa or Indica dominant strain. Its actually a bit ridiculous to even make that ratio. There would be a ratio in every strain obviously and even the soo called 90 percent strains have been altered through breeding to the point where the natrual DNA formation that made original Indica/Sativa bud unique is lost and the new DNA would just be somewhere between with a really high % of "THC" or cannabanoids. Although the "THC:CBD" ratio is very real and a more scientific and useful method. No real doctor of medicine would say "you need a 70:30 ratio sativa indica strain" because a real doctor would have the intelligence to know thats actually inacurate.

Actually i think it depends on strain more than just sativa/indica/ruderalis/afghanicka dominanace. Some strains of Indica can give you a psychedelic head high that will make you look twice at your but (edit:bud). The afghanicka-sativa buds look like a funky indica and in my experience those buds can be pretty crazy.

And by crazy i mean you can litterally feel your grip on sanity loosening or dissolving in a almost unsafe way, i do not doubt those strains can send a person psychotic.

A strong indica in my experience just doesnt do that to me, quite the opposite. Science backs me up with the CBD ratio being many times higher. But thats just my experience, these things effect all people differant.

The science of marijuana medication is still in the process of perfection. For now all we can do is take little hits of differant strains and feel what resonates with us best really.

Edited July 14, 2014 by Meditator

[☽Ţ ҉ĥϋηϠ₡яღ☯ॐ€ðяئॐ♡Pϟiℓℴϟℴ]

dang the bud rabbit hole goes even deeper than I imagined!

I hope bush turkey is feeling awesome by now tho

Edited July 14, 2014 by ☽Ţ ҉ĥϋηϠ₡яღ☯ॐ€ðяئॐ♡Pϟiℓℴϟℴ

[Bush Turkey]

Meditator, i have no idea what you are on about. I must be a "thickhead" as you put it.

I've been trying meditation for the past 5 nights. 20 minutes a night. Its not for me. When i finish, i am more angry and agitated then before i started.

I don't know why, i just am. It seems to send me backwards. Im looking for joy, not boredom. I need adrenaline

I know i can solve this all by smoking a bit of erb but i can't have that in my life at the moment.

Ive become what I've always feared. A functioning member of society. I work full time and have no time for "fun"

Ive become a sheep, a drone, a useless number in the system.

I don't feel free, i am not free

It gets me down

I have money, but it sure as hell can't buy me happiness. I was much more happy when i was broke

[Meditator]

Well next time you smoke the ganj and relax your brain, let your imagination tickle your receptors in unison with the thoughts and words as you follow the mouths and thoughts being projected within the sounds (haha not just the words, the actual sound can have more meaning than the words, like a shouted [word] means shit compared to the vocalized sound holding the true feeling) that they are communicating to you.

Let the imagination tickle your relaxed brain, the relaxation (parasympathetic, feminine, sensitive) is the letting go of the thought of your bondage and freedom lost. Ice. Clear the mind and let flow. Water. Once sensitized in that instant you are free like a kite, yet your mental winds still blow between past and future and at worst how shit now is. At best you understand what is happening.

That tickle of your imagination is your internal higher dimensional wind.. Tickle meets sensitive = laughter. Laughter can be hell. Think if that sensitive point where a weak meridian (or your nads) and the tickle were a quick precise shot of 200 pounds of force with a fist.

If you can see the variability youre loosening your minds stuckness. That feeling is a freedom. Let go of the pesimist in you and listen to the child wondering what kind of a mad man or fool could possibly mean by this babble. Point your experience in the direction of understanding me by letting go of pesimist and letting in the wonderous child.

Your pesimist (or what other variable forms of what i talk of [which are within you]) is a stuck desensitized fool. Your child is sensitive and needs no ego to have his genius and understanding. The ego holds knowing. The child has and needs not hold anything but the smile as he looks at a fool.

So smile.

Maybe you just need to laugh at yourself like a child for a bit. If you catch my drift... And im sure you do on this one.. You will see why this is an intelligent thing to do.

Im trying to give you the real way into meditation in my experience. REALIZATION OF WHAT AND WHY YOUVE BECOME BLOCKED IN THIS MOMENT. If you were not blocked you wouldnt have trouble meditating.

In the moment anyone reads what ive wrote and understands.. They have unblocked and tapped into a certain intelligence.

Youre block is.. Knowing.. You are not free.

Acceptance is knowledge of heart wisdom. The heart knows it has to accept what is and do its job. When it accepts this and lets go of thoughts of "why do i even beat" and it just beats.. It will start to really feel its own beat.. And in that moment will know why it beats. Passion found. Reason to live/be found. Nothing more to think or knowing to search for the heart. It beats.

The heart cannot know this through thought and logic. It may think "i beat". But it will miss it completely and think "to pump blood".

The doing is where the experience is and the mind is something differant than the thought "i beat"

When the heart thinks i beat it misses nearly everything... But when it beats holding no thought.. Nothing but what is(which is experience without thought). That flow is mushin. No mind. In the moment.

That leads to realization.

You feel you need guidance in meditation. If a master were to guide you, you need to understand that even if a master of meditation were present teaching you a certain relaxation and breathing, you may experience something. The teachers presence holds and resonates this knowledge. It is a re-assurance in your mind. The mind lets go.

A mad man talks, the mind is assured this man knows nothing but delusion far far from reality.

Know your mind and behind its reason for thoughts.

Dude im like giving you a code cracker to your own brain here.

How old do you think i am? I ask you to reflect on this now because i just reffered to you as something a teenager would say. A teenager is assumed to hold little wisdom. But when you read my words what do you feel. Do you feel the heart of a teenager with undeveloped wisdom or a fool who doesnt know how to use linguistic precision for his mission? By that i mean i chose that word over others in a foolish manner. Meaning if i had of reffered to you as say man or even brother, my goal of pursaiding you that i hold certain wisdom that you will benefit from knowing. Im not trying to pursaid you, but your mind into letting my words in. Re read that sentence now, and replace dude with brother and take out the like. Now imagine how your mind would have accepted those words. Know yourself and your mind. Crack your own codes and take control of the computer.

Are you starting to get it? If so re-read what i wrote on the previous page. If not.. Well either inquire or just forget this.

Feel your own presence in meditation. Your presence isnt your ego. Your presence isnt "i feel depressed". It in its pure form doesnt hold these or any thought. It can. But letting these flow down stream and wash away is part of meditation. Once you are more purely you, your true presence void of thoughts good or bad becomes dominant in experience. That is meditation. The experience if happened with awareness, comes with certain realization. Possibly even satori. I preffer not to talk zen though. And it is a double edged sword for perausding your mind.

I will leave you with these words of wisdom from my heart though that came upon reading your response.

You should know you are needed for this world to function. Not to bring up thoughts of duty, but maybe to find pride in why your heart beats.

Edited July 15, 2014 by Meditator

[Bush Turkey]

ummm i don't know what to say to that because i have no idea what you just said

If anything, you are scaring me off meditation even more

[Meditator]

Honestly that may be a good thing.

Im not going to say dont waste your time if youre not going to dedicate to it. But i am.

Meditation isnt a quick fix sort of thing.

Sometimes people sit once and it just happens. For others... Like me... You have to experience hell and understand it. Understanding it helps you unblock and relax.

You may benefit from leaving it and coming back to it.

Ill give you a scientific understanding of breathing meditation.

Slow deep breathing calms and balances the nervous system.

Slow deep breathing engages, relaxes, and activates the diaphram muscle.

Slow deep breathing activates the vagus nerve (very interesting! Very valuable information to know, i encourage you to do a bit of research on this nerve). It activates the parasympathetic nervous system. Which in turn has a very relaxing refreshing sensation.

The vagus nerve also activates the sympathetic branch.

Diaphramic breathing if done loosens and moves and compesses the kidneys(and adrenals) and liver. This can release adrenaline and lower chortesol at the same time. Releasing adrenaline (with lower chortesol) enhances your awareness if done right. To do this is properly you need to make use of your sympathetic. To make use of your sympathetic properly takes control. Control of sympathetic functions takes parasympathetic balance and control.

When the nervous system is calm.. It is sensitive and responsive to impulses. Its more sensitive to adrenaline. So to make your nervous systems sympathetic function more effectient (and controlled) there is the parasympathetic.

Balance your parasympathetic and sympathetic nervous function whilst calming your nervous system.

The vagus nerve goes through the heart lungs diaphram and into the stomach and the nerves even reach the lower intestines amd gentials. When you use parasympathetic breathing you active a part of the sexual function of the nervous system. You can take a deep breath like an orgasm and litterally have an orgasm tingle through your dingle.

You sound like you need to resensitize yourself to your sympathetic nervous response first. Dont be afraid of the feminine nature of the parasympathetic effecting your whole body. You may become tingly. Slow (lengthen and deepen) your breathing slowly over many minutes (you need to become comfortable and learn this technique well.. It comes with practice).

Once you learn how to use that knowledge. Take a deep breath. Just smile. With honesty, and trust ^^ let it sink into your whole nervous system and recalibrate your vehicles fine tuning. Exhale. Yes i know i said this was scientific (and it was) but that really does have an effect. That is a quick fix.

Come back and re read this stuff when you have realized and automatically overcome the thickness of your skull. I dont think youre a thick head by the way. You seem more dense hahah..

Edited July 15, 2014 by Meditator

[Meditator]

By the way if you are in any way shape form or dimension avoiding your feelings and emotions and the intimate reality of these feelings you need to stop.

Honestly repressing nothing can be hard. Let flow. Honestly sometimes you start crying. It teaches you a lot.

If you are afraid of that or avoid it even being a possiblity subconsciously, know that. Know why.

If you are afraid of your own intimate love intelligence you need healing there friend. I can tell you that simply.

[mutant]

I think the discussion of pot has got a bit off topic, especially since OP is in a non-pot period.

other than that , a pothead who quit might be hasty and in a hurry. I cannot understand how such a person would get into meditation... I have never tried to meditate... I might do that some time...

Ive become what I've always feared. A functioning member of society. I work full time and have no time for "fun"

Ive become a sheep, a drone, a useless number in the system.

I don't feel free, i am not free

hmmmm... you are functioning member of society and you feel no joy at all??

who made you that? the therapist? the zoloft? aren't you responsible for what you became? how come did that happen?

anyways

you need adrenaline?? I thought you cant sit in one place... and the herb would solve that??!?! what: give you adrenaline?

I have money, but it sure as hell can't buy me happiness. I was much more happy when i was broke

why were you more happy when broke?

[☽Ţ ҉ĥϋηϠ₡яღ☯ॐ€ðяئॐ♡Pϟiℓℴϟℴ]

bush turkey , you know when the time comes to enjoy it again that its gna be awesome , the longer its left , the more awesome it is ....

to enjoy it the best your body has to be tip top or as close as you can get it , maybe its a good end goal ?

was the only thing that kept me going when i was tryna get in the forces (i know right , how dumb was that!) but either way it had to be no tokey too

the high you get from a 1.5 mile sprint in 7.5 mins is more powerful than anything Ive known spesh when it's a record breaker

, maybe the feel good will kick back in later,

for now its a journey, adventure in it's self , just to get through it i guess ,

wishing you all the things you think are missing ....or a resolve to the feel good factor

and the fun in rebuilding anything later

also i dnno about you but listening to certain music reinstates feel good factor I find , a lot , mainly high octane metal for me

but whatever floats ya boat

I read it alters your internal alchemy anyway , maybe a good thing to get something musically energetic fast paced baddass or positive either way

-Horsey

Edited July 15, 2014 by ☽Ţ ҉ĥϋηϠ₡яღ☯ॐ€ðяئॐ♡Pϟiℓℴϟℴ

[Bush Turkey]

Come back and re read this stuff when you have realized and automatically overcome the thickness of your skull. I dont think youre a thick head by the way. You seem more dense hahah..

I didn't come here to be insulted dude

[Dreamwalker.]

Hi BT...not sure if this will be of any interest,,,,,,,,,,

http://medicalxpress.com/news/2014-07-link-marijuana-abuse-blunted-dopamine.html

Edited February 25, 2015 by Dreamwalker.

[bogfrog]

Hey BT have you heard of qi gong?

I have only recently started practicing but have found it to be very beneficial. I have also had difficulty in meditating but I have found qi gong puts me in a very relaxed & rejuvenated state. The sustained attention on the movements allows me to step back from the cyclic whirls of thoughts and emotions and just observe them in a way I have never been able to before.

I only had a skim read of these but if you're at all interested have a look and see what you think:

http://www.energyarts.com/qigong-benefits

http://www.chikung-unlimited.com/Benefits.html

[Bush Turkey]

I think the discussion of pot has got a bit off topic, especially since OP is in a non-pot period.

other than that , a pothead who quit might be hasty and in a hurry. I cannot understand how such a person would get into meditation... I have never tried to meditate... I might do that some time...

hmmmm... you are functioning member of society and you feel no joy at all??

who made you that? the therapist? the zoloft? aren't you responsible for what you became? how come did that happen?

anyways

you need adrenaline?? I thought you cant sit in one place... and the herb would solve that??!?! what: give you adrenaline?

why were you more happy when broke?

No, i don't want to be a part of society. Its just to keep us occupied until we die.

I mean adrenaline like something to get me going like surfing big waves, skating fast downhill. Something to scare me and also bring me joy.

I was happy when i had no money because i had all the time in the world to live my life

[Bush Turkey]

Hi BT...not sure if this will be of any interest,,,,,,,,,,

"research suggests that people who use marijuana excessively have problems with the reward circuitry in their brains. Even when their brains produce large amounts of dopamine, marijuana abusers don't respond to it normally. Personality tests showed that the marijuana abusers in the study were more likely to experience negative emotions, including depression, anxiety and irritability, than the controls were. This is a sign that marijuana abusers find it harder to experience pleasure than most people do"

http://medicalxpress.com/news/2014-07-link-marijuana-abuse-blunted-dopamine.html

That would explain it. Is it reversible?

[Meditator]

I didn't come here to be insulted dude

This reverts back to one of my points in what i am displaying through linguistic peotry if you could catch it. Your perception may be blocked at an insult that was rather a silly joke. Even knowingly, letting the mind slip into negativity rather than intelligent reflection. After negativity you look back over everything and see nothing but stupid nonsense most likely if that is what you feel. Which i doubt a bit.

The same goes for thoughts during meditation. Dont slip into negativity. And dont get caught on the thought that bliss is far away.

Your mood can be shifted to positive with subtle techniques such as the taoist inner smile technique. Or letting intimate love intelligence express itself in feeling and thought. Whatever is blocking you needs intelligence (open percpetion rather) to be unblocked.. And even more to gain insight into what was even blocking you and why.

If youre stuck in a certain mode (which i feel you are) getting shifted mentally whilst absorbed in abstract thinking of a speaker speaking abstract poetic (and encoded with intelligence possible to gain insight from) verses of differant kinds giving you the differant tastes of what he is talking of yet not directly speaking of is just how i was pointing you at your own mind. If you didnt let go of pesimist (or relative [joke]) he takes over and you see what he chooses to see and let go of what i am trying to bring to you. You look back over everything and say one thing yet it comes from his mouth! Whether it be in your head or from your head

"Idiot"

Noticing subtle shifts in perception due to absorption in the imagination is just one means to realizing your mental freedoms. Imagine if you could lucid dream at will? Youd be pretty happy wouldnt you.

Shift your experience in the direction of the result you want.

You just imagined you would be happy if you could lucid dream.. Be happy like the guy you imagined. That happy guy is you. You are stuck on pesimist (even if slightly, he blocks more than youd think). And he is in disbelief and negativity. Dont let him hijack your mood and row your boat.

Dreams are of positivity and high imagination (and even abstract thought.. Mirrors.. Staircases leading back to the top.. Time travelling to kill your parents... You get this im sure.. If not.. LSD and alice in wonderland). How can a pesimist dream when he is stuck in his mental block. That mental block blocks dreams of positivity with delight at its own pesimistic views. Dont you think even falsly believing (and honestly believing) that you are going to dream tonight and be lucid with due excitement would make you more happy than pesimist.. And much more likely to dream.

Im just trying to melt your ice so you can see the nature of water. Make a declining abstract path for it to flow so you can see the nature of not just the water but the flow. You said you were interested in meditation. If you reject this you are rejecting the essence of what it may teach you. I ask you shift your perception from pesimist (or relative) to wonderer even day dreamer when you read these words.

Do you know the dreamer in you?

For adrenaline (more like chi) you may benefit from practicing martial arts though and becoming the flow itself. That get literal epinephrine flowing through your veins and your heart pumping.

Maybe chi kung.. And if you dare to venture with boldness.. Tai chi.

When movement becomes ecstacy gi gong is cool even if you dont know how to do it. Even tai chi is cool.

Its like dancing.. If you are ecstatic you dont care if you look like an idiot.. And noone else does and that makes your dancing that much better. Because it is honest expression of how your feeling. If self conscious in mind, that becomes expressed. Better to just do with no mind. Same with meditation at times.

Christ i write long stuff.. Im gonna leave this thread before someone feels like im hijacking it. Re-read if you want to venture out of your own trapped state like i do. And good luck.

[Meditator]

I mean adrenaline like something to get me going like surfing big waves, skating fast downhill. Something to scare me and also bring me joy.

Magic mushrooms and bungeejumping! Or skydiving.

[Dreamwalker.]

That would explain it. Is it reversible?

yeah ..sooner or later the applicable receptors on your cells should build up to suitable numbers again.....the hard part is the space/time in between...& reuse/relapse.......but I'm no expect...I guess that's why some have recommended a mushroom experience or partial periodic cannabis use.....I really don't know the best option........I know meditation....which is why I suggested that...but I guess you'll find what works best for you...........or cold turkey it...no pun intended...best wishes

[mutant]

I think this is a fine thread with lots of nice thoughts and suggestions on depression.

Okey first things first..

you say you dont drink water.. and that you drink too much choc milk. Regardless sweets and sugary foods are the single most toxic food in my opinion, YOU SHOULD DRINK WATER, what the fuck? I used to drink a lot of milk, I loved milk, I still love it, but I dont drink so much anymore. Dont know why.. Its not supposed to be too good. But I never substituted water with milk... Also choc milks most of the times feat few "milk" and lots of sugariness. Switch to white milk or use white milk and add fewer portion of choco-something... this way you get you fave drink with lots less sugar and shit.

also , sewage water ? ?!? wut? I thought the modern world has solved the water clarity problems... ?!?

then:

I have been diagnosed with depression, anxiety/panic disorder and OCD but its never been like this

Since this has happened before in one or another form, (we) you cannot simpy say "oh its the quitting of the herb" since its been "a few months since you quit" . Seriously I dont know how long "quitting herb depression" would last to a "normal" individual, but if a couple of months later its still on, then its safe to assume its a 'crisis' of depression, only triggered/worsened by the cannabis past and maybe other factors as well.

Also AndyAmine's comment suggests that it might take 12 months of more to see changes after quitting the herb.. Well these times must be referring to persons who are experiencing mental problems along with their habit, not just pot addicts...

this also suggests that you were doing too much pot

Ive been a heavy erb user for 10+ years (4g a day) and i think this has a lot to do with it

but all in all, all these are interwinded and interactive.. the longing for such a habit and the complications with zoloft, and the complex of ocd-anxiety-depression... cant be to easy to analyse...

anxiety, insomnia people tend to smoke the herb more 'medicinally' than most. so if they get on with it and the organism accepts it, then those same people can sleep at last, but then they CANT sleep at all without herb. Had this happen to a friend. Smoking made his insomnia worse in the long term. these people tend to smoke one last one before sleep, not realising they might need more time to sleep smoking before going to bed and they wake up with a heavier load each morning...

I got another friend who is so hooked on pot that he is experiencing headaches if he doesn't smoke one day.. He cant sleep and he would even take benzo pills if he had them that day/night to easy the feeling of depression and anxiety and to be able to sleep at nights.. this in the short term...

it seems you are long past that phase, having quite some time (few months), so the OCD, anciety and most notably the depression (as I suppose you're having a crisis of that) should be also taken into account. Not only the cannabis past, that is...

Also, regarding the Zoloft, again you never answerer. I am really pissed when I hear that. How come would the doctor make you take a drug you dont want to take, and you claim it doesn't work, for MANY YEARS? So I dont accept this, something is missing here from your story I mean. Did it work at some time in the past? Have you tried other SSRIs, like others said? Many people should try at least some before they find the one working for them. How many years youve been taking zoloft?

Maybe zoloft once worked ok, and maybe this is the price you are paying for using it so long in a wrong way, supposing it will work for ever, without doing any actual psychotherapy... Maybe you should up the intake?

You said you also quit drinking years ago and that you dont particularly go well with psychs

Have you done psychotherapy? (didn't answer to that too)

Also BT you said about a weird heart rhythm. It might be what is called arhythmia, its not really dangerous and some 40% of the population has it. But in an anxiety-struck individual, it might evolve to a full blown worry. I had a friend who was obsessing in his pulse and heart rate and all, until it all surfaced as a full blown generalised anxiety disorder after a year or so of using pot daily in his late 19s. The doctors could not find anything wrong in him either (heart or other wise, apart from the arhythmia) . And to make a long story short, it took him some 15 years from then to accept that he had and still has psychological issues, to start doing psychotherapy of some kind... Despite he didnt use anything all those 15 years, its now more difficult than it used to, to try and cure anything, when it has stagnated and been hidden for so long... as in his occasion...

tipsz:

In the shamanic view, mental illness signals “the birth of a healer,” explains Malidoma Patrice Somé. Thus, mental disorders are spiritual emergencies, spiritual crises, and need to be regarded as such to aid the healer in being born. What those in the West view as mental illness, the Dagara people regard as “good news from the other world.” The person going through the crisis has been chosen as a medium for a message to the community that needs to be communicated from the spirit realm. “Mental disorder, behavioral disorder of all kinds, signal the fact that two obviously incompatible energies have merged into the same field,” says Dr. Somé. These disturbances result when the person does not get assistance in dealing with the presence of the energy from the spirit realm.

they are most probably refering to psychosis, schizophrenia and the manic side of bi-polar, most probably NOT FOR SEVERE DEPRESSION

PS: Note that OCD, anxiety and depression can interact with more ways than one can imagine.. maybe you can use some of it to your advance: if you're really OCD you can use part of the obsessive energy to motivate yourself against depression... if you're really prone to anxiety, then you cant be too bored and depressed... maybe use that edginess to net let you callous and get too depressed.... maybe that's why you said you were better when broke: maybe the anxiety and insecurity made it harder to get depressed.... maybe (a crazy idea) if you are too fucking bored and depressed, maybe find a way to trigger a small anxiety... when you are scared, the instinct for life revitalises, and that might fight off depression a bit..

PS2: One girl once told me something that made me an impression, it was told in such honest and naive way.. She said she once read that "depressed

persons often cannot maintain a plant in a good health. Their plants usually die (well they didnt cave cacti collections, thats for sure ) and when they manage to make their plants happy, then they are cured from the depression, they are well"

Peace and good vibes

PS3: how the fuck can one live his life at the full potential without money, being broke, please explain?

and OK you dont want to be a part of society.. is there something you want to be a part of?

cause you know, like it or not YOU ARE and YOU WILL BE a part of society for as long as you live, especially if society itself (through its mechanisms) forces you take the drug you claim is not working for ya... Even hermits are part of society: their choice of escaping it is very telling. But I bet you would be dead bored as a hermit. Let alone you wouldnt be able to drink choc milk outside society..

PS4: Have you examined the possibility, mental issues aside, you might be a hedonist (I know I am one) who got a bit burnt out by chasing the thrills and joys too obessively?

Edited July 16, 2014 by mutant

[Bush Turkey]

Also, regarding the Zoloft, again you never answerer. I am really pissed when I hear that. How come would the doctor make you take a drug you dont want to take, and you claim it doesn't work, for MANY YEARS? So I dont accept this, something is missing here from your story I mean. Did it work at some time in the past? Have you tried other SSRIs, like others said? Many people should try at least some before they find the one working for them. How many years youve been taking zoloft?

Maybe zoloft once worked ok, and maybe this is the price you are paying for using it so long in a wrong way, supposing it will work for ever, without doing any actual psychotherapy... Maybe you should up the intake?

Sorry. there is just so much in this thread that i can't (i forget) to reply to everything. Zoloft controls my OCD. I was originally prescribed it for OCD. I can't even remember when i first started taking Zoloft. My memory is shot

Ive started drinking water now but i still have choc milk. I drink choc milk instead of iced coffee as i have quit caffeine.

i have been brought up on sugary things. My mum doesn't drink water either. It doesn't seem to quench my thirst weirdly.

I always have heaps to say but when i go to write it, i go blank.

I've always been like this. so much trouble at school when i was younger because i could never focus

EDIT. yes i have had therapy but i just don't get anything out of it

Edited July 16, 2014 by Bush Turkey

[mutant]

what kind of therapy? what was it like? was it when you were on zoloft or before?

DO you remember some time when the zoloft actually gave you relief and seemed like a good solution to your problems?

do you remember in what turn the problems appeared?

that is I mean, was the OCD first? or was it anxiety first, then OCD , then depression?

why did you drink alcohol? did you like it? did it help socially? did it help with anxiety? did it help with ocd, depression?

PS: if you want me to stop just say so

Edited July 16, 2014 by mutant

[Bush Turkey]

I have had OCD since i was a little kid. Maybe 7 years old or earlier. My mum noticed i would always sniff my shoulders on both sides evenly and couldn't walk on cracks and do spins every few minutes. I have been in and out of therapy all my young life. I didn't want a bar of it.

I wasn't prescribed Zoloft till i think about 16 when my OCD started going haywire again. I got taken off it because it wasn't working to well. I went back on it when i was about 20 and it seemed to control the OCD. Depression and anxiety didn't start till i was about 21. I used to be the most confident person but that started disserpearing about the same time

i quit alcohol because i was told i can't drink on Zoloft. I was never a heavy drinker anyway

Ive been to all sorts of therapy but just told them what they wanted to hear because i didn't want to be there

Edited July 16, 2014 by Bush Turkey