nabraxas Posted June 19, 2003 american 16yr old SAT questions & answers The following questions and answers were collated from SAT tests given to 16 yr. old students! Don't laugh too hard - one of them could be president someday.) Q: Name the four seasons. A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar. Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink. A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists. Q: How is dew formed? A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire. Q: What is a planet? A: A body of earth surrounded by sky. Q: What causes the tides in the oceans? A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight. Q: In a democratic society, how important are elections? A: Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election. Q: What are steroids? A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs. Q: What happens to your body as you age? A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental. Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty? A: He says good-bye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery. Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes. A: Premature death. Q: How can you delay milk turning sour? A: Keep it in the cow. Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized? (e.g., abdomen.) A: The body is consisted into three parts - the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The branium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels, A,E,I,O and U. Q: What is the Fibula? A: A small lie. Q: What does "varicose" mean? A: Nearby. Q: What is the most common form of birth control? A: Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium. Q: Give the meaning of the term "Cesarean Section." A: The cesarean section is a district in Rome. Q: What is a seizure? A: A Roman emperor. Q: What is a terminal illness? A: When you are sick at the airport. Q: Give an example of a fungus. What is a characteristic feature? A: Mushrooms. They always grow in damp places and so they look like umbrellas. Q: What does the word "benign" mean? A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight. Q: What is a turbine? A: Something an Arab wears on his head. copyed from http://opium.poppies.org/index.php?act=ST&f=2&t=4508 [ 19. June 2003, 09:35: Message edited by: nabraxas ] Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
waterdragon Posted June 20, 2003 comforting to see the new produce from the idiot factory. it comes as no surprise - one only has to read some of the drivel at the shroomery(as one example) regarding the iraq or afghanistan issues and see young americans views of the world. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Torsten Posted June 20, 2003 interesting program in telly at the moment (ABC) about how america is viewed in the world. No surprises here... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Slarty Fart Blaster Posted June 20, 2003 Thought this was an interesting view of things... http://www.shaman-australis.com/%7Epic/SFB/terra2.swfterra2.swf Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
gomaos Posted June 20, 2003 Yeah, interesting site. About poppies.org: I read a few different posts and wanted to reply to one, but they wouldn't let me register. "board administrator is no longer accepting any new registrations at the moment..." What's the matter with them? Arrogant? Elitist? They suck! [ 20. June 2003, 07:32: Message edited by: gomaos ] Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Darklight Posted June 20, 2003 Is it necessary to assume that these responses are a) for real the product of someone attempting to give serious answers Having seen similar stuff in my intray many many times, I'll admit they are hilarious, but that doesn't mean they are real. Anyone with a sense of humour could make this up, strikes me as the tone of urban myth. Wouldn't surprise me either way but And c'man... how many of youse haven't gotten bored in an exam and taken the piss at some stage? I used to do it all the time, either I was finishing early and decided I could spare myself a few marks with the aim of amusing myself, or I'd given up all hope of passing and decided to amuse myself. I bet I wasn't the only one either... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
nabraxas Posted June 20, 2003 for sure dl, my favourite was R.E- no-one gave a toss, so answers were for fun. eg- what did jesus say on the cross? -he said "i can see my house from here" Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Rev Posted June 21, 2003 Classic example of the tragedy of US culture and its many wasted youth Many of those answers demonstrated rationality and imagination - but seemed to be based on a lack of factual information and distorted world view Did anyone else see a program a few months back on how the US armed forces are setting up Military high schools in poor urban and inner city areas where the school population are mostly Black and hispanic. And its a hard sell too You get a decent education and its all free - but the price high - the Government owns you Modern day slavery - send in the darkies... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
nabraxas Posted June 26, 2003 "You get a decent education and its all free - but the price high - the Government owns you Modern day slavery - send in the darkies"-reville, i believe it has been that way since at least the creation ov the welfare state; "from the cradle to the grave" you are kept healthy, indoctrinated & expected to be productive- even being unemployed is productive-perfect consumers. [ 26. June 2003, 09:54: Message edited by: nabraxas ] Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
peas-pipe Posted June 26, 2003 gomaos:Yeah, interesting site. About poppies.org: I read a few different posts and wanted to reply to one, but they wouldn't let me register. "board administrator is no longer accepting any new registrations at the moment..." What's the matter with them? Arrogant? Elitist? They suck! Same thing happened to me when I first tried to register there, so I waited a couple of weeks and then they let me. I don't think its anything personal, I think they either only except registrations in waves, or they only allow a maximum number of registered users. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Veronica Posted June 27, 2003 Maybe it's just the way the world is viewing America at the moment. That said, Australia isn't much better. After all we are playing following the leader. What do you think Auxin....? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mescalito Posted June 27, 2003 Veronica:Maybe it's just the way the world is viewing America at the moment. That said, Australia isn't much better. After all we are playing following the leader. Ever seen a dog chasing it's tail??? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
t st tantra Posted June 28, 2003 we are the bullys second best friend!is this a survival tactic?does a bully really only have pretend friends?does he really only pretend 2 b your friend? t s t . Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
