!!!please read!!!

[Matt1208]

there has been a number of problems about "matt1208"and "flappybird" they are indeed both me and I'm sorry for all the inconvenience and misunderstanding, i have a condition called pathological lying syndrome or "narcissist liars" or "compulsive lying" I'm not trying to use this as an excuse but i do believe my own lies to which i don't know if they are real or not until reality hits, the two accounts came up when the first time i signed up it took awhile for my account to be approved so i thought i had done something wrong in the signup process so i made another account, i had completely forgotten about the other account until the last week or so, i do have multiple accounts on other sites which will be deleted in the next day or so, after talking to torsten for awhile and many lies later reality hit and i knew i had to let everyone know about this before it really got out of hand (even more then it already has)

in saying this id like to apologise to many members here but more so "cimi" for the constant lies and the words that were spoken to this member, id also like to apologise to doublebenno for not keeping my promise in the free trades thread, i will do everything possible to keep my word and give him what he deserves, id also like to apologise to torsten and other mods for lying and deceiving them and other members of this forum.

i am very sorry for my actions and will not do this again nor will i trade seeds that i have previously promised to other users, i ask for your forgiveness but I don't expect this to be forgotten, i understand i will have to build trust in every forum member again and i will to my best to do so. I will apologise to each individual person i have lied to and deceived via pm following this post.

thankyou.

[incognito]

That was pretty solid of u mate. Took ALOT of guts!!

[Cubism]

I agree with Incog. We all have issues and problems, however some problems can obviously be more intrusive than others. Admitting and taking responsibilty for our faults is a hugely positive thing for you to do. Congrats Matt, all the best.

[mystical oyster]

Good on ya bro, this was the right thing to do and i know it wouldn't have been easy, we all make mistakes and through them we learn. Honesty goes a long way, many great members here who im sure can let go of the past and see that although you made a mistake, you coming forward and being honest is genuine.

All the best, peace

[upside]

Apologising and admitting guilt and lies is a very brave move,, you wore it so that's a step forward,, Take care dude.

[Foo]

Looks like you only came clean because Cimi outed you publicly. I cant see any honor in that.

Would be nice if Torsten confirms that he is aware and tolerant of the dual accounts. You created 2 accounts and used them to maliciously deceive forum members, that isn't normally forgiven.

**edit** I see that T is aware.

Edited February 2, 2014 by Foo

[Cubism]

Sadly, it's so much easier to sit back and judge than to show compassion. If you have suffered, or have family/friends suffering from forms of mental illness, this becomes very very clear.

Sometimes it's better to just say nothing at all.

[mystical oyster]

I have to agree with cubism on this one

[Foo]

I disagree. Blind forgiveness is the easy way out.

The dude gets caught bullshitting and lashing out at people calling him on his lies. Then claims to be a compulsive liar ...

Sorry if i don't automatically believe, what to me, looks like another lie.

[mystical oyster]

Fact is he is here apologising, whether or not he has a lying disorder its a hard step and rather confronting and embarrassing to be in his shoes, he has owned up to his previous mistakes and every body deserves another chance to prove them selves. I say give him the benefit of the doubt

[Cubism]

So foo......you've never been in a position requiring you to ask for forgiveness, or atone for your mistakes? Never lied (ever)? Never been caught out?

I'd rather be compassionate and be disappointed, than be harsh and negative. But thats just me. Your entitled to behave as you wish.

[Cubism]

Anyway, rather than derail Matts apology thread any further, I will leave it there. Different strokes for different folks.

[Amazonian]

the two accounts came up when the first time i signed up it took awhile for my account to be approved so i thought i had done something wrong in the signup process so i made another account,

When i first signed up to SAB, i also thought i had done something wrong because i couldn't log on, so i created another account the next day,lol. (I did tell Torsten about it after a few months even though i couldn't access the first account, and he deleted it) I am glad the first account wouldn't work for me...i don't think the name 'Rainbow' has quite the same ring to it as 'Amazonian' , lol.

So Matt1208, you obviously see how good a community SAB is, and you really want to be a part of it if you were willing to admit your fib?! . Most people would be too embarrassed after a public incidence like this , and would just not return.

By the way, glad you chose to be Matt and not 'flappy bird'

[waterboy 2.0]

Was amused at first watching the trainwreck....

as a devils advocate I was schooled under the "...god forgives...I don't..." philosophy....

I can forgive these days....I can forgive...but trust becomes another issue.

Trust is earned.

EDIT: psychopaths and sociopaths can use apologies as psychological weapons

I also vote forgive....

Edited February 2, 2014 by waterboy

[Foo]

Hey, im not talking about throwing him under a bus. I will give him a chance if he is allowed to stay, i wont forget though.

Im not claiming to be perfect here either. Ive fucked up and apologized many times, including a few on this forum.

From what i can see Matt ripped off the free trade thread and called a number of members here liars. Pardon me for not getting on my pedestal of holy forgiveness instructing everyone to follow the good book and blindly forgive because its good for my own mental well-being.

Once again, i think its far easier to play the good guy, like you have cube than ask a few questions. If you have any further patronizing comments for me, they might be best in a PM.

[Cubism]

But thats just me. Your entitled to behave as you wish.

There is no patronising and judging in my posts Foo. Its called discussion. Discussions work in two directions.

[Foo]

Convo taken to PM

Carry on

Edited February 2, 2014 by Foo

[incognito]

In the words of jebus " those that have not told bullshit, led someone on, or stretched the truth may throw the first cow-pie " or sumtin like dat.

Tis not like he has coward punched someone's mother.

[Torsten]

Part of why a public apology is important is because it makes others aware of the existing problem and the potential for future problems. That does not mean Matt gets a free pass. he still has to undo the damage he has done. I also encourage those who traded with him to make a comment in his trading reputation thread. Everyone should be aware of the potential problem, but that doesn't mean Matt can't become a contributing member of the forums. he also won't get another chance beyond this one. While I try to be as compassionate as possible, I also have to protect the other members of the forum.

For those who think this is the easy way out, consider that Matt is well versed in creating multiple accounts across various platforms [as I found out when I dug deeper], so it would have been quite easy for him to slip back in after some time and start again. Taking responsibility for his actions was NOT the easy way out and is something that should be rewarded.

[Cubism]

I cant see a good reason to have the same conversation in PM and on the boards simultaneously.

If your committed to a public disagreement, you'll have to find someone else to have it with.

You've lost me there???

Let's get back to the original purpose of this thread shall we

[Cimi]

Thanks for your apology, Matt1208. I just don't want our free trade thread or our forum becoming an empty shell. If people get away with doing what you did it just ruins the site for everyone else. Only promise things you can actually send, and then you will be able to keep your promises. Those native frangipani seeds sound great. Don't worry, you will build a good reputation. It just takes time, patience, and a bit of hard work. Everyone on this forum started from nothing and had to slowly build themselves up by being consistent with other members. There are no shortcuts to doing this.

If there's one thing that plants have taught me, it's that good things take a lot of time and hard work to earn, and that hard work and patience really pays off, a bit like growing lophophora. Thanks for admitting your mistake, and in future please only promise what you can deliver. It's ok to offer basic stuff, there are always people on here after lots of different things.

Being honest doesn't always bring rewards quickly, but it will add up to help you more than lies in the long run.

I hope we can move onto better things in the future.

[Distracted]

Didn't chef give this argument a few months ago?

[Bert&Ernie]

Didn't chef give this argument a few months ago?

similar

[watertrade]

Hi matt1208,

Thanks for coming forward and explaining what is going on. It must be hard to unveil yourself from the lies and good on you for doing so.

I don't know much about the syndrome (anything actually!) but do you think your condition will cause problems for you again here?

If it will, I don't think it should exclude you from taking part in the forums. Maybe you just need to be on top of it and take control for your own sake? changing how you interact in the forum. maybe not trading for example. I also think you are not obliged to spill your life and medical history on here beyond clearing up what has happened here already - so please don't read my question as an interrogation.

[Yeti101]

Well, this turned out to be a little more dramatic than I imagined.

Matt1208, I appreciate that owning up to something can be hard and I really hope that things can improve for you over time.

I'm in agreement with the suggestion that you don't trade until further notice On top of this, you will just have to get comfortable with the fact that people around here are going to treat everything you say with a certain amount of skepticism until you comprehensively prove that you are trustworthy. You would not be the first member who had their posts taken 'with a grain of salt' by others on the forum (older members will know of several examples). As long as you are OK with that and don't talk sh*t about people, you should be fine.