my top 5 things to say to police

[Psylo]

x

[Psylo]

x

[incognito]

I wish we had a donut shop on every corner

I dream of Krispy Kreme. Seriously I could die shoveling their chocolate musicale donuts down my throat.

[sethomopod]

Does this apply to police in

Another country? If you should like to try this approach with a Thai, Vietnamese or Los Angeles officer of the law I would like to offer a space in my greenhouse for your cacti.

 

Lol... Too true...

It's funny to compare the differences hey... A Viet cop would just bash you half to death, then expect a bribe to let you go...

Nobody gets cheeky with them..

[Bigred]

slurp slurp slurp sorry officer

[sethomopod]

slurp slurp slurp sorry officer

 

Lol

More like, sorry officer, I didn't mean to get my blood on your shoes... Please don't trip on my broken teeth...

[Seldom]

Lol... Too true...

It's funny to compare the differences hey... A Viet cop would just bash you half to death, then expect a bribe to let you go...

Nobody gets cheeky with them..

 

definitely, definitely, my girl's Croatian, around the time of the occupy Melbourne stuff here in Aus there was a newspaper article called 'police brutality', written about 'rough treatment' of people while being arrested. she faceboook posted it to her friends there to howls of laughter and offers to exchange police forces, comments like 'become arrest in Croatia, you will enter heart of darkness ..'.

.

[Pat Uri]

1. "No it's not an illegal drug - it's pure (S)-3-(1-Methyl-2-pyrrolidinyl)pyridine free base. So don't get any on you."(pre-2011)

(presently) "F**k calling for more police - call a f**king ambulance!"

2. "Why did you bring sniffer dogs and a warrant? My bulls can't read."

3. "Yes I swear there are no booby traps that I can recall right now - just keep your hands in your pockets, don't touch anything and respect my right to silence."

4. "Well blow me, officer!" (Rural Queensland only)

5. "Didn't I see you with Detective Inspector Shane Diehm at the party last weekend?"

[Pat Uri]

PhaemonsDog wants a go:-

1. "I have seen you before, officer - your kids are in my daycare centre"

2. "So that's where I left those anthrax spores"

3. "Oh - you're only the State Police service - I thought I was in real trouble for a moment there"

4. "Ha! Hah! I have a bionic heart - TASERs only make me stronger!"

5. "ou te pote yon tradiktè?"

Good dog!

[Pat Uri]

Let's not forget the classic:-

Alles klar? - herr kommissar

[Pat Uri]

1. "No it's not an illegal drug - it's pure (S)-3-(1-Methyl-2-pyrrolidinyl)pyridine free base. So don't get any on you."

I wished I'd been there when it happened! He'd opened the container and was sniffing it, thinking it was hash oil, when he was informed what it really was. Enough to kill 60 people on contact - there is no antidote*, only developed tolerance. I'm told the look on his face was absolutely priceless and the other Ds just laughed at him. "Fools rush in" I guess. (Oddly it is was perfectly legal without license in Australia once and still a protected industry)

(*OK - yes there is an antidote - but I would presume a Queenland Police service officer would rather die a convulsive, agonising death than take an illicit, "most dangerous in the world" drug like "Devil's Breath")

Now I suppose you say "Gee - ya mate's not looking real well - might of been something he ate"

[Xenodimensional]

What does the donut eating references even mean to you guys? Sounds like youre stuck in some 1980's movie reel presenting American cop stereotypes. What the fuck do donuts have to do with Aussie state police? There's no donut shop on every corner.

 

It was an attempt at humour :-P

Anyway, what's with your stereotype of Donut shops being on corners?

[Bigred]

FEAR FACTORY MADE ME DO IT !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[vual]

i like to do this....

https://www.youtube....h?v=VXe5CXWiIPw

'I Favour Less the Taser'

And I sing a song, less for you,

Seven ways less, the boys in blue,

I favour less the thunder in your ears,

I'm seven ways, is less I shed your tears,

I'm favoured in the way, I am less to you today,

I'm less than I would favour, anything I savour in the day,

I'm favoured in the blessed as blessed I see,

Favourless is less I bless the boys in blue for me,

It's less than I belong to you, its less than I would fight,

But it's less than I would marry you,

Favourless is less, you're bright,

I am the man who is, less than me,

Seven ways favoured in the song I sing from sea to sea,

Jubilee, Jubilee, downtown, favour off,

Its less I turn my head and cough for you,

I am a Jew, I belong too...

YAHAWAH

?

[incognito]

I've only got $100, I left my MasterCard at the Australian consulate can I call them

[bullit]

1 im sorry

2 sorry

3 can i go home

4 sorry

5 what?

[Bigred]

check your warrant's and complain

 

[Bigred]

i love this guy

 

[Jonny Deformed]

You'll never take me alive !!

[Bigred]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NtILxBszyf8

[Jonny Deformed]

Squeal piggy ! !

[psilosophical]

You had such a terrible time at home, not as bright as your brother and sister. Though intimidating all your friends, still think that uniform's so cool. what a job you can make your own rules. Take your frustration out on them. Hanging out at your nearest protest. punching kids and making arrests in the name of whoever pays the most. Couldn't get in the armed forces, animals on the backs of horses, good sense and justice you oppose. Get a real job- who would be a fucking cop? Did you not get enough love? Did your parents beat you up? Do you worry bout the size of your penis? Did the army kick you out? what the hell was that about? Didn't let you use your firearm in public? You dont protect me, no security, for my family and my friends. Your brain is just out of reach, you can shoot drunks on the beach. The corporations you defend- Get a real job. who would be a fucking cop? I don't know how you get to sleep, when junkies terrorise your beat. Feel like a hero when you punch alcoholics. And there's that secret no one knows, hidden from everyone. Those unnatural affections for German Shepherds- Get a real job- who would be a cop? Did you not get enough love? Did your parents beat you up? Do you worry bout the size of your penis? Were you a cockhead from the start? You didn't need very good marks, and now you're suppplementing your income with money from drugs. Don't wear your name badge on your chest. In case of civil unrest. Wouldn't want anyone to think that your like violence best. Who would be a fucking cop?

[endorfinder]

@sethomopod

Lol... Too true...
It's funny to compare the differences hey... A Viet cop would just bash you half to death, then expect a bribe to let you go...
Nobody gets cheeky with them..

Actually I was just in Vietnam and their whole bribery system is amazingly civil... it's so ingrained in the culture that locals equate bribes with hastening the process and not with corruption. I was told a couple of stories about people landing traffic offences... apparently the prices are basically set, so the cops will GIVE YOU CHANGE if you don't have the right notes. A local told a story of his friend who recently managed to beg the cops to cut his fine in half so he'd have enough for the tolls home. Corrupt, but fair?

I have no idea how drug offences are handled, but all my western friends and friends of friends there seem to have no issues at all. One commented that he openly smokes dope in cabs. Also 5 star restaurants are willing to prepare and serve their BYO opium tea for example.

[qualia]

"my, what a big stick you have, officer"

[Francois le Danque]

Me to dickhead cop: "Chill out bro, I didn't do anything"

DC: "I am NOT your bro! Understand??"

Me: "Okay don't blow a gasket, duuuuuuude"

...jerk