think your life is bad?

[Thelema]

All I see is people wanting to have a whinge about something they'll never get the guts to do anything about.

Loads of people engaged in public discourse disparaging in their sense of isolation and existential dread is a complete paradox, given that they in the act are part of creating a community through their actions. Self-annhilating content if you ask me - indicative of an immature emotional persona.

[space cadet swami]

Self pity is sad...sad to see that the individuals can't see what they have got & can only seem to focus on what they haven't got, or what they are about to lose.

Life is precious in whatever form...

[Evil Genius]

I thought a long time about what i should respond to this thread. Well, i guess i know what i wanna say now. When im looking at all these stories of people sharing sad stories about their lives, i see many very desperate people. And i feel for them. People who LOST something or someone. And i really feel for People who literally fell down in life because i´ve been there and i can relate to that. But more importantly, i see a lot of people that are about to throw away their lives just because they are not willing to shake off the dust, take the beating that life gave em and STAND UP AGAIN. Really, i dont want to be unsentimental and belittle any of these stories. All of them are a sad part of someones life who probably didnt deserve what happened to him but if theres one thing i know, then that self-pity in a desperate situation is the nail in the coffin. The moment you start telling yourself how poor you are and how unfair life is is the moment when everything goes to shit. A negative mindset is the ultimate way to total failure and even if you feel like dying now, it doesnt mean that your life cant suddenly make an impressive 360° and changes to the better, you know? I know what pain is. Real pain. Not the kind of pain that you have when you have a migraine but Pain so bad that you just cant stand it anymore. I had times when i was just tired of all the pain life caused me and when i was ready to throw everything away just because i felt like i had enough. I was literally lying in my bed, waiting for me to die just to stop all the pain i had. But at a certain point, i realised that life indeed isnt fair and that this can also work out to my Advantage, you know? Just when i was facing death and was staring into the total liveless darkness, i decided that this shouldnt be the end of my story. I realised that this little piece of life that i had left might be the only shot i have so i kept on going, eventhough it hurt. And eventhough it never stopped hurting, i kept on going. And it made me proud that i kept on going and just when i expected it the least, it suddenly all got better. Not because of luck but because i kept constantly working on myself and my mindset and changed the way i looked at things. From being a total energyvampire who saw something negative in everything, i went to someone who always tried to see the positive in the things that happened. And really, within one year, my life suddenly turned around and it almost seemed like it wanted to apologize for all the pain it caused me. I guess you can say i made peace with my life. And eventhough im still somewhat a bitter person, i am also an optimist and i swore myself to never ever pity myself again. And i kept my word. Falling Down isnt all that bad if you manage to get back on your feet again somehow. I know its hard and i know it hurts. Nobody said that life is going to be easy, you know. No one said that there wont be times you feel like your heart is tearing apart inside your chest. Do you know the song "theres no easy way out" from survivor? Its pretty trivial but if you reduce it to its basic meaning, its actually speaking a lot of truth. "Theres no easy way out, theres no short comehome". And thats about it. But i guess its all part of the big mystery we call life and if you run away now just because something bad has happened to you once, you will never know how your story was supposed to end. Yes its true that life isnt fair and sad things can happen to the best people. But never ever forget that this can also work to your Advantage. I like the saying "what would you attempt to do if you knew you cant fail?". So why not giving this life another try by doing something you never tried before? If you wanna have what you never had, you have to start doing the things you never did before. And so on. I believe in the power of the mind and self-fullfilling prophecies. And in my opinion, you need stay awayfrom poor-me thinking as far as you can or you will go down no matter what. And i know about all the sad things that can happen because i´ve leant it first hand. But at the same time, there´s so many good things happening all around us; so many chances and potential doors opening up, so why not focus on these instead? A powerfull mindset is all it takes and i would bet that in most of these desperate peoples lives, things would actually get better if they´d stand up again and give life another chance. I know that it hurts. Its supposed to. bye Eg

Edited September 25, 2012 by Evil Genius

[whitewind]

Well said EG. I too, don't quite know how to respond but I will give my immediate response instead of a considered out one.

Number one is for you, Bulls. Why are you reading this stuff in the first place? I get the impression you are down, at a turning point, feeling like shit. Reading these posts may help you feel better about yourself, but it may drag you down too. I empathise, my life has been, in some ways, a real struggle - and I admit that some part of that is how hard I push myself, not just the shit dealt to me from outside (which can be hell). We do have freedom of choice; I have upped and left everything I know behind, a big risk, but ultimately came good. That can be an answer. Carrying on, can also be an answer. I have done that too - and that can be just as rewarding.

But hardest of all is our mindset, negative thoughts happen when shit happens, but the shit often goes away and only the negative thoughts remain (note, this is not the case when dealing with imminent death / painful living for the rest of your life etc. which I haven't had to deal with yet). Even emotional pain can deaden, over time. One thing we can control is how we think and deal with these issues, so unless you are facing a death / hideous continuing pain scenario) I suggest you leave the negative thoughts behind and move on, or move away from your situation. Reading these stories I didn't do: I have faced many of them before, am facing some now and will use my own mind and my family to help me through. I'm not emotionally in a place to read so many suicide suggestions.

We are here as a community, Bulls, and if some of us didn't offer an emotional hand then we wouldn't be worth much, so if you are going through something you need to share, talk about or whatever in private, you can PM me and I will try to help (within my busy schedule). Then there are Life-line and The Samaritans who you can call - they are specifically there to help people in a crisis, and can really help people out. I'm not sure you really need this, but it seems to me you have asked this community whether we really care about the others online. I think we do care about others, plenty of help threads show that (see the one with Gem recently) even though we don't always know each other we share some things in common, and that makes us a community of sorts. But do consider Lifeline or The Samaritans if you are really on the edge, as they are professionals who really care and have often been through the same problems themselves.

[Seldom]

 

it's not about me .. have just started a new relationship with a gorgeous Croatian girl, i'm about to start post grad studies in the area that i love, with an internationally renowned philosopher supervising my thesis, also just got some $ for winning the D R Grey award for philosophy, am mid-way through making my first split-and-bore method didj, am further away from smoking pot than i've been in a long time, i'll never be the most well adjusted person in the room but i'm doing o.k. it just deeply affected me to read that .. i've known 3 people who gave in, Jay from Mudgee, Matt from Cannowindra, Nick from Orange, that stuff stays with you for life. if you've never known anyone who's done that to themselves then maybe the enormity of what's contained in things like that may be lost on you. But 'the poet must not avert his gaze', and i've never seen a greater catalyst for growth than endurance of hardship. thanks for the comments.

[incognito]

Waaa fuken waaaa

[chilli]

I think maybe people were put on the defensive by the confrontational title topic? 'You think your life is bad?' implies that people here have nothing to complain about compared to these poor souls. I think probably many people here have had a life as bad or worse than a lot of the folk writing in that suicide forum, but they handled it differently and so are moving on with their lives instead of wallowing in despair.

We have all lost people, and life is often painful and unfair, and the pain those people are going through is real, but if the pain becomes how you define yourself and you give up hope, things are only going to get worse. Sometimes, people who see only pain in life seem to have suffered far less than someone who looks for the good in life, so I think that shows that there is much more to this issue than a competition to see who has had the worst life. To me it seems like it doesn't matter how many bad things have happened in our lives. I think the crucial factor is in the way we look at those things, how we respond to them, how we learn from them and grow through them.

Good to hear you are doing well BoP, and that this is not a reflection of your own emotional state. Losing people before their time is painful, but the best thing you can do for all those people is to choose a different way of dealing with pain, and live your own life, which is what you seem to be doing.

Edited September 26, 2012 by chilli

[bogfrog]

it's not about me .. have just started a new relationship with a gorgeous Croatian girl, i'm about to start post grad studies in the area that i love, with an internationally renowned philosopher supervising my thesis, also just got some $ for winning the D R Grey award for philosophy

Sorry to say this, but after reading this thread this morning, just trying to work out what you were getting at, starting the day in a really weird mood because of it and then coming back to see this comment really makes me feel like you are being a right tool.

Thats fine if you are interested in the honesty and truth these people are expressing, but thing that stuck out for me and likely many others who read through those comments was the all pervading hopelessness that they are feeling AND creating together through their group resonance.

Now why would you want to spread that around here?

Sure we all have some strange personal interests but to go dragging all that here without considering the kinds of emotions it would bring out in others, and then standing smug on your little mole-hill talking about your hot new misses and how clever you are is quite rude in my opinion.

[Seldom]

^ whitewind was saying i should ring lifeline and the Samaritans, i like him and i was just letting him know i'm fine, that it was just fortuitous circumstance that i found that. i reserve the right to be interested in morbid things sometimes. and to view people's responses as an index of sorts for learning how people respond to something like this, the idea that the medium through which a message is conveyed conditions the nature of it's reception, for eg. incognito, you clown, would you respond in the same way if the same messages were conveyed in person? are they any less real because they're on a computer? i post this only from the depth of the things i don't know, and i feel i'm a fraction better informed for having done it. i'm not interested in 'spreading that around here', it's a solicitation, people's responses are the focus.

Edited September 26, 2012 by bulls on parade

[glimpse]

I read a few of the sad things

they made me sad

my heart went out to those people

i took stock of my own life

i felt happier

I called my nana in scotland

she is fine

she's sending cookies

[ballzac]

it's a solicitation, people's responses are the focus.

 

That's usually referred to as 'trolling'

[bogfrog]

i reserve the right to be interested in morbid things sometimes. and to view people's responses as an index of sorts for learning how people respond to something like this

...it's a solicitation, people's responses are the focus. [/font][/color]

 

And i reserve the right to respond as i did, and to feel somewhat saddened by the idea that yet another highly intelligent person wishes to spend time prodding other people's sore spots to see in what ways they squirm.

[Anodyne]

Before you commit suicide...kill some of the Rich Class and Elite. They are to blame for the earth being shitty!

Nice to see at least one of those suicide-forumers is trying to turn suicidal despair to some positive end!

[whitewind]

it's not about me .. have just started a new relationship with a gorgeous Croatian girl, i'm about to start post grad studies in the area that i love, with an internationally renowned philosopher supervising my thesis, also just got some $ for winning the D R Grey award for philosophy, am mid-way through making my first split-and-bore method didj, am further away from smoking pot than i've been in a long time, i'll never be the most well adjusted person in the room but i'm doing o.k. it just deeply affected me to read that .. i've known 3 people who gave in, Jay from Mudgee, Matt from Cannowindra, Nick from Orange, that stuff stays with you for life. if you've never known anyone who's done that to themselves then maybe the enormity of what's contained in things like that may be lost on you. But 'the poet must not avert his gaze', and i've never seen a greater catalyst for growth than endurance of hardship. thanks for the comments.

 

Well, that's good, I was a bit worried because of a post you made a few weeks back when you said you might not be around for a while. Just be careful, if the Croatian girl thing ends unexpectedly the comedown will be very hard. I would just like to say, I spent time reading the replies and replying to you because I felt worried about you, among other things I ended up running late for an interview and didn't have time to prepare so went in there flying by the seat of my pants (which is a really, really bad thing to do) but it also prevented me from getting too hyped up about what to waffle on about so it all went swimmingly. I think.

So I should thank you, for making me "feel".

.

[planthelper]

my life is pretty super, thx for asking.

it used to be bad, but i changed that, hehehe.

[quarterflesh]

i liked the comment from the guy " no woman will have sex with me - and im a sex addict"

[Halif]

Some great comments made here. I think ThunderIdeal, Chilli, and Planthelper have said what I would have said, too.

There's lots of truth in that saying: Misery loves company. What you focus on is where you are putting your energy, and what you're going to get more of.

What I find sad is that people who are really depressed are often really depressing to be around, and as a result are alone. Some people who are depressed are self-absorbed, consumed in their own unhappiness. It's human nature to be attracted to people who have positive qualities like confidence and a joyous attitude towards life, and to be repelled by people who are a black hole of despair. The company that misery loves is that of one's own negativity.

For that reason, it can seem like the odds are unfairly stacked against those who are miserable because it's hard to dig oneself out of a hole so deep that the light above is obscured. Our perspective is, however, our own choice. It may sound trite, but I think it's true that we ultimately choose how we feel.

The trouble is the momentum of many years of negative thinking can be so great that it seems impossible for a person to turn it around. In those instances an act of grace is required. I believe the universe does deliver such acts. I also believe the universe helps those who help themselves.

[qualia]

What I find sad is that people who are really depressed are often really depressing to be around, and as a result are alone. Some people who are depressed are self-absorbed, consumed in their own unhappiness.

there's a difference, i think, between people who are wallowing in their own self pity, and people who have a serious mental disorder and need help. the latter can't help what they're feeling and can't rationalise the "i'm down woe is me" attitude of the former. on the "r u ok?" day there was a 4 corners special about people who had commited suicide, one of the things mentioned was one of the people were hearing voices constantly, whether in their head or projected onto others which were constantly putting them down and they had no escape from constant negative feelings about themselves. i think it's important to recognise that not everyone who is depressed is self absorbed (as many of the people in the first post are) and some people do actually have a serious mental disorder.

It may sound trite, but I think it's true that we ultimately choose how we feel.

as stated some people don't get that choice. you can't wish away psychosis. not having a go at you but the situation is multifaceted.

[planthelper]

psychosis, is a bitch and i would not blame anybody, if they end there life because of it, however in many cases psychosis will get better aswell, with time and, IF YOU GIVE THE EVIL VOICE A LOT OF LOVE, hehehe.

Edited September 27, 2012 by planthelper

[indigo264nm]

All I see is people wanting to have a whinge about something they'll never get the guts to do anything about.

Loads of people engaged in public discourse disparaging in their sense of isolation and existential dread is a complete paradox, given that they in the act are part of creating a community through their actions. Self-annhilating content if you ask me - indicative of an immature emotional persona.

 

I think a bit part of vocalising that sort of content is just some hope that somebody will listen - getting proper psychiatric help is a hard step for a lot of people so expression of suicidal intent is usually in hope that people around them will force them into getting help.

I do definitely agree with you about the emotional immaturity. I've spent a bit of time inpatient over the past 10 years due to bipolar and I've noticed that repeated overdose attempts and self harm tendencies are traits found in mostly adolescent patients or emotionally immature adults.. the same applies to eating disorders. These people always treat mental illness like it's their identity, it's what makes them who they are, and that is a very sad place to be because these people often don't want to be happy.

I guess I'm the type when in depressive episodes who is more inclined to isolate and keep my mouth shut - the mentality being that I don't want all the people around me to be burdened.. and besides nobody wants to be around those who are miserable and can't be cheered up coz it's just a fuckn buzz kill hehe.

[Halif]

I guess I'm the type when in depressive episodes who is more inclined to isolate and keep my mouth shut - the mentality being that I don't want all the people around me to be burdened.. and besides nobody wants to be around those who are miserable and can't be cheered up coz it's just a fuckn buzz kill hehe.

I really relate to that part of your post, Indigo

And Qualia, I absolutely agree that issues of mental instability are multifaceted. I definitely don't want to give the impression that I think it's as simplistic as "just pull up your socks and whistle a merry tune and you'll be fine!". Psychosis terrifies and mystifies me. It's not easy to understand how such an experience can "fit" into life if you have the belief that people choose to be happy or not, as I expressed earlier on.

It IS my belief, however, that all of us have somehow created our individual realities through our own power. I really can't express this through words and I'm not really a fan of philosophy (don't hate it, just find it limited - questions generating questions ad infinitum), so I'm not going to try. I just wanted it to be clear that I am not looking down on anyone, and that I know - through experience - how complex and multifaceted an issue mental health is.

[Foo]

One lady in there "misses her lids"

Thats pretty tough when you have several attention seeking disorders.

[chilli]

I'm not really a fan of philosophy (don't hate it, just find it limited - questions generating questions ad infinitum

 

Wouldn't that make it unlimited? lol

[Seldom]

^ i would equate philosophical development with spiritual development .. artistry of things that structure the relation of a self to itself .. study of the good life .. realise an ideas historical contingency, deny it's necessity, realise its maleability .. not thinking 'is this true', little t truths, subject to revision etc, philosophy is reflection on how people relate in the world to what they take to be true or false, and how the model of thinking which people have, its assumed modes of functioning etc are the product of a historical lineage of assumptions, really i spose beginning with around the time of Aristotle's a's and not a's .. it's a reflection on images of what it is to think .. if coding is saying 'something is something', decoding saying 'something isn't something' and recoding 'something we thought was .. is really ...' philosophy is about getting through forces which arn't amenable or any of those registers, just force new ways of seeing things .. everyone is different.

Edited September 27, 2012 by bulls on parade

[Thelema]

No, philosophy is a historical abberation of language that keeps getting in its own way of dissolution. Really, how long will it take for people to truly GET Wittgenstein???

Edited September 28, 2012 by Thelema