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planthelper

best phrases to "f off", tele marketers

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is it true that if you don't put down the reciever, the other side can't use there phone because it's engaged?

In the 80's that worked.

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is it true that if you don't put down the reciever, the other side can't use there phone because it's engaged?

it used to be PH, when i was younger

But not anymore.

I've found that sometimes it's more fun to see how big of a lie u can tell. I love it when they finally hang up on me. Such satisfaction. I tell them that due to tax reasons I actually do not want to save money, but need to actually pay more. So if there is ay way that they can put me on a plan that charges more, then I'd be keen. I have had them go on to explain that I would actually be paying more if I make certain length phone calls, lmao. i tel them this is not high enough. they hung up on me when i told them i owned a pearl farm with over 600 employees and spent 24000 a month on phone bills :P

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but you can do this only if you can see, it's none of your friends.

i would hate to be your mate and get this sound.

True, but its safe to say that if someone with a broad indian accent is on the other end of the line, trying to sell me a super phone deal, it's definitely not a mate. :scratchhead:

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i don't actually say anything, as soon as i hear a slight delay i hang up. fuck it, even if it is my overseas based brother it wasnt worth spending 15 minutes on the phone anyway. not holding the telemarketer up also means they have more time to call some other sod, a win win. once however, the telemarketer was a middle aged 'australian' man, and boy was he unhappy with my performance. he rang be back immediately, to comment on how horrible my phone skills were and how my parents must be terrible for not teaching me manners, i said, 'listen here c**t, your lack of ability to gain real employment is not my problem. i would like to speak to your supervisor about your harrassment'. i hope i got the prick sacked, scraping the bottom of the job barrel once youve been sacked from telemarketing.

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during the dying days of my uni degree i applied for all sorts of outbound call centre jobs, i got one spruiking that green loan scheme, but got fired after a week. kind of demoralising being fired from a telemarketing gig after a week, "you're too shit even for this bloke, sorry" :(

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checkout the YouTube channel: gerantgerant check out his telemarketer prank videos, there's literally hundreds of them, he's an old mate of mine & funny as fuck.. some of them are long... & some are better than others but totally worth taking the time to watch

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I've found that sometimes it's more fun to see how big of a lie u can tell. I love it when they finally hang up on me. Such satisfaction. I tell them that due to tax reasons I actually do not want to save money, but need to actually pay more.

heh yes, out-keening them can be fun too. Just get really really excited about their plan and rave about how excellent it is and how keen you are to finally have this awesome opportunity to talk to someone about it. I watched someone do this to optus, trying to sell some internets - the chick on the other end had to concede defeat when it turned out she didn't know the difference between uploads & downloads :blink:

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Hell we dont even answer the phone. One ring and it goes to voice mail. If its somebody we want to talk to, then we pick up.

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what's your best lines to avoid having to talk to tele marketing people?

the following is the best one i could come up with, and it has the advantage of feeding my ego aswell, a double win situation.

phone rings, and i pick up, and say my family name, and residence, the butler of the house is speaking.

most hang up right away!!

sometime i say mansion, instead of residence.

But how do you know it's a telemarketer? :scratchhead:

I did telemarketing for a while, for a charity group. I don't remember anyone being particularly rude, just the occasional grouchy sounding old person. Actually I do remember one or two times people would become indignant and ask where I got there number and I said 'from the phone book' and they would get even more shrill, saying how dare I they were offended this is a private residence they just got home from work etc.

I am hardly ever am exposed to it myself, so I don't find it annoying... unless they don't get pushy or shitty when I tell them a simple 'no thanks, not interested' I think playing with them a bit is fine, it is probably the highlight of their boring and stressful job, but I don't see any need to insult people. They are just people doing a job, trying to make a living.

What bothers me a lot more is the ones who arrive on your doorstep from the mechanic or the video store. They always seem to be really offended that you are turning down their 'free' offers, or pretend like you are crazy... I guess it is just all part of the sales act?

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Telemarketer just fucked me off before i could say anything witty...not my day. :lol: Gotta get faster...

Edited by Evil Genius

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I tried Tele marketing for like 2 days when i was 16 couldn't sell a thing so after being told to fuck off 20 times the next bloke was in for it

went like this

ring ring hello do my speech

fuck off

call back do my speech

FUCK OFF you just called me

ow sorry wrong number

call back do my speech

Guy almost having a heart attack screaming and swearing

after about 6 calls i couldn't believe if still answered

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But how do you know it's a telemarketer? :scratchhead:

i don't, and that makes it even more fun.

if it's a person i want to talk to they, just laugh there heads of, like say the lady of my local council yesterday, she even played along right away!!

we both laughed a lot, laughing is awesome. his lordship is located in the aviary....hehehe

heh yes, out-keening them can be fun too.

telstra want's me back guy calls, i engage him for a brief while, and than say, i'm not interressted.

he goes into the, you miss out on this and that thing.

i say, a few times, i can tell you are a really nice person, and butter him up a bit.

than i say, something like, a nice intellegent person like you doesn't deserve to be hung up onto, or?

but, but he replies, but after repeating myselfe in a similar manner, he did hang up first.

what a victory!

i've done a lot of marketing research over the phone in my younger day's, so i know the story a little bit from the other side aswell.

doing door knocking marketing research was cool too, i could have got lucky with a lady once like this, but stayed faithfull.

Edited by planthelper
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than i say, something like, a nice intellegent person like you doesn't deserve to be hung up onto, or?

but, but he replies, but after repeating myselfe in a similar manner, he did hang up first.

what a victory!

lol "No, you hang up!"

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Heh, I just tell them I'm not interested usually and I tell them to have a good day. End of story.

But there's been some pricks calling about my computer and how it is infected. I asked them how the hell they managed to gather information about my computer without my permission and they hang up. They rang back again later with the same story I tell them I don't own a computer because "they are against God's wishes; created by Satan to desecrate Man's soul" :rolleyes: They hang up again...

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Although not a telemarketer, I remember one story...

This year, me and my flatmates were looking for a new apartment, and we split up to do research. I found one that was too good to be true. Just a really low price, and a really awesome apartment. I knew something was fishy, but we actually had complete awesome luck with our last apartment, and we thought it might be again, and no harm in trying for it anyway

So I email her, and she (in poor English) responds about how she can't meet me, but will send the keys as she was "off to london tomorrow my dear." So we exchanged a couple more emails, and then she finally says that I'll have to transfer her some money and she'll send me the keys. So I went to the internet, found lemonparty (don't look if you don't know what it is), and saved a particularly nasty image as "MoneyTransferForm.jpg" and emailed it to her, saying here was the form she could put her details on and I'll western-union her the money once I have them.

Never heard back. :D

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I just give them a "not interested sorry, bye" and hang up. Everyone's gotta earn a quid somehow. I was wondering if any telemarketers where members here who would chime in on what a shitty job it is. But hey whatever pays the bills.

Is there not a Telstra number u can ring that blocks the majority of telemarketing numbers??

Edited by incognito
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My boss was saying a few days ago that when a telemarketer calls, he just puts his 2 year old daughter on the phone.. Apparently she loves talking to people, but gets

upset when they hang up.

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