planthelper Posted August 15, 2012 what's your best lines to avoid having to talk to tele marketing people? the following is the best one i could come up with, and it has the advantage of feeding my ego aswell, a double win situation. phone rings, and i pick up, and say my family name, and residence, the butler of the house is speaking. most hang up right away!! sometime i say mansion, instead of residence. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Alice Posted August 15, 2012 (edited) "Hello, you've reached Alice's Crematorium - if you kill 'em, then we grill 'em! How may I direct your call?" Edited August 15, 2012 by Alice Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mr b.caapi Posted August 15, 2012 apparently referee (pea) whistles work a treat. 3 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
r2pi Posted August 15, 2012 "oh yeah, that's very interesting.... just hang on a sec" (keep doing what you were doing for a couple of minutes) "are you there? Sorry. Oh yes, very good, and how would that work? OK, just a moment" (keep doing what you were doing for a couple of minutes) repeat 4 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Anodyne Posted August 15, 2012 [call from private number rings] "Uh, hello?" "Yes, hello, is X there?" "And who are you?" "I'm Katie from Telstra, calling to offer you..." "Ah well in that case no, no one called X is at this number. Goodbye" One friend deals with them by saying "No, I'm sorry, this isn't a convenient time, but if you give me your number I can call you back" Another friend says "this is an unlisted number, how did you get it, this is an outrageous breach of privacy, I demand to speak to your manager" All are quite effective. The third technique can result in some large fines for the guilty parties if its true. If it's not, at least they put you on hold while they fetch a manager, and you can hang up then. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
qualia Posted August 15, 2012 i only have a mobile, if someone rings and i don't know the number i don't answer, that goes for everyone. works a treat because i quite often get calls from some number, which i then discover is a telemarking firm for XYZ, highly discriminate call filtering FTW! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Gollum Posted August 15, 2012 Im staying with the oldies at the moment......I do this.... (Telemarketer)"Hello its so and so calling from thinga-me-bob, are you interested in...." (Me,) "oh,.... yep..., yep, just hang on ill get her for you" Mum gets on the phone- "hello? cheryl, speaking" I stand there smiling She gets off the phone, gives me the death stare, (Mum) "Thanks,...very funny Austin!" Makes me laugh everytime! 3 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
GoOnThen Posted August 15, 2012 We don't get sales calls at home since we registered on the do not call register but I get at least 5 calls a day at work and some days it can be up to 20 and a lot of the time they will ring one of our numbers and then the other straight after. If it has been a bad day for marketing calls I just resort to telling them to FUCK OFF but it don't work the same company will ring back day after day after day after day after day after day .............................................................................................................................................................. I hate telemarketers with a passion Cheers Got Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CβL Posted August 15, 2012 As I grew older, I realized that the people working for crappy companies like this are just trying to earn their living, and in most cases - they hate the company way more than you do. So I try not to be mean to them. With that said, my favourite tactic is to just pretend I'm trying to convert them: TM: "May I speak to the homeowner?" "First of all, I need you to answer: what is the reason you're alive?" TM: "So are you the homeowner? "Answer my question, and I'll answer yours." TM: "..... I asked the first question." ".....Well perhaps I am the homeowner, so now answer my question before you get another one." Usually I'll try and make some clever point that makes them truly question their existence (not just by asking that question), and then swiftly ending the conversation. 3 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
waterboy 2.0 Posted August 15, 2012 Two options for me If feeling mischievous: "could you give me a quick second to get my child - Thank you" , put the phone down and walk away. If I really dont care: "Fuck off", blow the tin whistle I have next to the phone in their ear , and hang up Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CβL Posted August 15, 2012 (edited) Woman fined for blowing whistle into phone A 61-year-old German woman has been fined €800 for blowing a whistle down the telephone at a call-centre worker and damaging her hearing - after she got fed up with constant cold-calls to her house. The unnamed woman from Pirmasens in the western state of Rhineland-Palatinate told a judge in a local court that she was so annoyed by the unending stream of calls from marketing companies last August that she snapped and blew a whistle into the receiver. She was hoping just to deter the company from calling her again, but ended up giving herself a criminal record - and the female call-centre employee long-term hearing problems and tinnitus due to the effort she put into the high-pitched blast. Finding her guilty of bodily harm, the judge fined the 61-year-old €800. She initially appealed the fine but decided to pay it shortly before a hearing scheduled for Tuesday. http://www.thelocal....0522-42685.html Edited August 15, 2012 by CβL 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
waterboy 2.0 Posted August 15, 2012 I was originally advised to have one near the phone when my partner was receiving threatening calls from a coward due to her profession, from the boys in blue (I think they preferred this to what I was suggesting was going to happen). It also made it easier to establish who this was when he required medical treatment....lol. I save that treatment for repeat offenders, HOWEVER never blown it as hard as I did for the "special" caller though. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
qualia Posted August 15, 2012 man, so many people here are rude, why not just say "no thanks not interested", why do you have to swear at people? 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Evil Genius Posted August 15, 2012 Woman fined for blowing whistle into phone A 61-year-old German woman has been fined €800 for blowing a whistle down the telephone at a call-centre worker and damaging her hearing - after she got fed up with constant cold-calls to her house. The unnamed woman from Pirmasens in the western state of Rhineland-Palatinate told a judge in a local court that she was so annoyed by the unending stream of calls from marketing companies last August that she snapped and blew a whistle into the receiver. She was hoping just to deter the company from calling her again, but ended up giving herself a criminal record - and the female call-centre employee long-term hearing problems and tinnitus due to the effort she put into the high-pitched blast. Finding her guilty of bodily harm, the judge fined the 61-year-old €800. She initially appealed the fine but decided to pay it shortly before a hearing scheduled for Tuesday. http://www.thelocal....0522-42685.html lol, Pirmasens is just a few miles away from me. Have been working there once too... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Halcyon Daze Posted August 15, 2012 I tell them they are doing the devil's work. It seems to hit a raw nerve with many. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
El Presidente Hillbillios Posted August 15, 2012 I love talking to telemarketers! they don't ring me any more though, makes me sad 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
waterboy 2.0 Posted August 15, 2012 man, so many people here are rude, why not just say "no thanks not interested", why do you have to swear at people? Because the repeat offenders do not understand the "Thank you" approach. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sallubrious Posted August 15, 2012 (edited) I lived in a flat that had problems with telstra where they'd connect calls from different numbers to our line. It didn't matter how much we complained they just never fixed it. I use the same method with telemarketers as we did with wrong/misconnected numbers. After about a year of abuse from dickheads insisting they'd dialed the right number, (which they had and we'd explained the problem but they still insisted on speaking to the person they rang) we started doing this with wrong numbers and telemarketers. Telemarketer/wrong number dialer "Hello can I speak to X" Me "Yeah hang on I'll just get him/her" And then put the phone on speaker and turn it up so everyone in the house could hear it. 2 minutes later (caller getting agitated) Me " Yeah mate he's/she's just getting out of the shower hang on a second" another 2 minutes (caller swearing to himself now) Me "he/she'll be out in a second mate" Caller - polite "thank you" 1 minute later Me "wait a minute there's someone at the door" Caller "OK" Caller getting getting very frustrated now and stringing together swear words and supelratives 3 minutes or so later with the caller going nuts on the other end Me "mate he/she's just gone out can I get you to call back" If it was a bloke ringing about his girlfriend rather than saying she's gone out I'd say "Mate she can't talk right now, she has my cock in her mouth, you'll have to ring back later" And then hang up. Edited August 15, 2012 by SallyD 3 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Emule Posted August 15, 2012 I just chat with them. Though I worked as a telemarketer once. I didn't mind if people didn't buy because I was paid by the hour. No need for pushiness. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Evil Genius Posted August 15, 2012 (edited) I love talking to telemarketers! they don't ring me any more though, makes me sad! Hillbilly, dont forget you are legally not allowed to go any nearer to a working telephone than 50 meters because of what happened last time! That poor woman wasnt able to say a word ever since! Edited August 15, 2012 by Evil Genius 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
El Presidente Hillbillios Posted August 15, 2012 It wasnt a woman that last time 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bread Filter Posted August 15, 2012 This is a great idea for a thread. There is an iphone app called fonejacker that has different sound boards. There are heaps of clips of people using the overseas call centre soundboard against overseas call centres. It's funny when the call centre is trying to sell the person an iphone then the fonejacker guy will try and sell the call centre person an iphone. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ballzac Posted August 15, 2012 man, so many people here are rude, why not just say "no thanks not interested", why do you have to swear at people? Because they're intentionally harassing me in order to get paid to sell a product. Now I do feel sorry for people working in countries where they don't have a lot of choice, but the ones in Australia would be less of a burden on society if they simply went on the dole and then our taxes can pay their rent without us having to constantly say "no" to their useless products/services. These days I don't even answer the house phone, and never get spam on my mobile. Back in the days before mobiles, they would call and say, "hello, is this Mr. @#$%". Seeing as I lived with two females who's surname "@#$%" was different from mine, I would know straight away that it was a spam call. Telling them to fuck off is a waste of breath when you can just hang up the phone in about 0.1 seconds. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
planthelper Posted August 15, 2012 apparently referee (pea) whistles work a treat. but you can do this only if you can see, it's none of your friends. i would hate to be your mate and get this sound. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
planthelper Posted August 15, 2012 "oh yeah, that's very interesting.... just hang on a sec" (keep doing what you were doing for a couple of minutes) "are you there? Sorry. Oh yes, very good, and how would that work? OK, just a moment" (keep doing what you were doing for a couple of minutes) repeat is it true that if you don't put down the reciever, the other side can't use there phone because it's engaged? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
