MASSIVELY PISSED OFF

[robb387]

ugh.....how embarrassing....im stayin away from the net wen im off chopz. I juz want2 say thanx for evry1's help, sumtimes outside input helps put things in perspective, wen your open2it. Hav decided2travel to NSW for the cherry season, get sum money 2gethr n head off2 europe...or sumwhere more exotic n lively than swealtering rural qld anyway. thanks again guyz, i really do appreciate it.

Edited November 2, 2009 by robb387

[rahli]

Wishing you luck in sorting your troubles.

[t st tantra]

reread your post when you come down!

you say he is becoming unconcerned about your condition.

should he be concerned?

are you concerned?

t s t .

[nabraxas]

any medical professional you see will tell you that your first step, if you want to change your condition, would be to give up the dope.

why not give that a try for a couple ov months at least, just to see if you notice a change?

[holymountain]

agree with nabraxas. a lot of those symtoms you are mentioning seem like you have been smoking weed too long and it's catching up with you. paranoia, aggression, not leaving the house etc are all definite effects of smoking too much weed.

i'd say give it a break for a while. you can use different non addictive herbs like damiana to smoke instead until you've weaned yourself off.

good luck.

[coin]

i would recommend that even before you might think about cutting the weed back further that you see a counsellor. either with a close family member, friend or your boyfriend.

your bf is in a hard position...he's trying to help you avoid discomfort and painful experiences, and show his love & support by doing things for you and not pushing you out of your safe zone, but at the same time he knows that doing so is totally counter-productive and means that things will just continue the way they are, if not progressively get worse (which is what you see has been happening over the last few years). he doesn't love you less...love is love. he's just confused.

do you have any objective ideas yourself (just ideas) about how you would advise someone else in the same situation? (taking your self out of the story for a second). if you trust your bf, and it sounds like he's really supportive, maybe you need to surrender yourself to his care for a while and start helping him to help you. it takes a certain amount of humility as well. trust his perspective (and hopefully, perhaps sooner than later with the guidance and objective support of a counsellor). tell him you're at your limit but you don't know how to turn in a different direction. if he's confused or overwhelmed by the situation, as you are, just tell him his support means the most to you. i think he'll understand any natural difficulties or setbacks that might arise but will be very happy and hopeful to see things improving.

you're trapped in an unhappy place by fear...can be a hellish place to be sometimes...i can guarentee though, that you'll get to a place eventually where you can look back and think "i didn't even need to feel that way for so long" ... but things are as they are for as long as they are, and that's just the way of it.

[paradox]

yeah really well said coin.

i've got a really close friend who's long term girl friend suffers from bi-polar. she also has a drinking problem which manifests itself in really bad ways. she can get very aggressive & crazy & uncontrollable. all my friend wants to do is support her & help her & see her work on her problems & get better, he loves her like nothing else. sometimes it just gets so crazy & her self sabotage & violence towards him so extreme that he literally has no idea what to do.

he wants to help her more than anything but he knows that simply to continue to tell her it's all alright & not truly face the issues is wrong. the problem is, he's confused. his emotions are totally rattled & it can make the whole situation really messy & confusing for both. a certain amount of resentment has built up in him because he feels he's given so much but she often treats him very badly. he seriously wants to try to stop this cycle but doesn't know what to do. he feels completely stuck between caring for the woman he loves & really letting her help herself. he gets mixed messages from his friends. many tell him he should leave her etc because he doesn't deserve to be treated like that, but that just confuses things more because he still loves her with all his heart & doesn't want to leave her. at times it just gets too much for him & the only thing he knows how to do is withdraw emotionally as a protective measure, so then she thinks he doesn't care & doesn't love her which gets the cycle going again.

i don't know much about your specific problem robb, but it sounds to me as though your bf really loves you. i think he's just a bit desperate & is torn between loving you & caring for you & actually really seeing you help yourself aswell & get better. maybe you both need to help eachother to help eachother!

[reptyle]

Relocate to the tropics and start spending your days away from your house.

Keep smoking weed its good for you.

The more interesting you become...on purpose...the better your life will be generelly, for you and your friend/s.

Do not go to see a Western Trained Doctor, maybe see a naturopath...or aromatherapist.

Start skipping.

Actually put a life change into action...

peace.

[ballzac]

I can't speak for you as everyone's situation is different, but I know I got to a stage smoking weed where I was verging on having a serious social phobia. When I was younger my smoking didn't really affect my ability to be out in public and stuff. I'm not sure when it changed, and I don't believe it was ever as bad as what your situation is, but I was definitely not in a healthy mental state from the age of about 18 to about 23 when I stopped smoking.

It can definitely be compounded by other factors. My work at the time involved being up from about midnight and I was usually only working with one other person. Basically, I wouldn't see many other people during the day. I would just go home, avoiding eye contact with people on the way home, and get stoned enough that I could get to sleep.

I still have a bit of difficulty in social situations sometimes, and I'm not sure how much of it is due to smoking in the past. I feel that I spent so much time smoking during the crucial period of my teenage years, that I didn't really figure out how to be in social situations when it was appropriate to learn.

Quitting smoking made such a difference so quickly. All of a sudden I would hold my head up instead of looking at my feet while I walk down the street. Having a clear mind enabled me to go back to school and in doing so, I suddenly had contact with a lot more people than I was used to.

I was still having trouble with some things. I actually passed out while doing my oral presentation for English and I refused to continue. Luckily I had a really understanding teacher and she let me just answer a couple of questions about the book without the rest of the class there and passed me. These days I give presentations without too much trouble, and I owe it to the experience dealing with people that I have gained during the past few years without marijuana.

In light of my own experiences, my advice would definitely be to stop smoking weed and see if that helps. I found that it took about three months without ANY weed before I started feeling that my view of the world was no longer warped. Is the aggression you experience when you are smoking, or not? I found that one of the side effects of quitting was severe irritability, although I was able to recognize it as being a symptom and not let it affect my behaviour. As with the other withdrawal symptoms, I found this was alleviated mostly after three months.

I think the most important thing for you to do at the moment is to help yourself. The people who love you will become increasingly reluctant to patiently lent emotional support if they do not see that you are doing everything in your power to help yourself first. By the sounds of it, you have a really supportive boyfriend.

I hope everything works out for you. Please keep us updated.

[reptyle]

Sounds like there general opinion is sliding straight in line with the mostly incompetent medical staff one might see.

Like quitting weed will reform a lifestyle of self derision...

Lifestyle, lifestyle, lifestyle.

If you can pull the pin on your lifestyle using ganja as the key, then so be it...otherwise it is a sacred state and should be respected, by living truthful and fulfilled and uploading your joy into the ganja bliss server.

Obviously strange question but how does a agoraphobia get to Guatemala?

[ballzac]

A lot of people who smoke weed have social phobias, so I don't think suggesting quitting weed is uncalled for. With respect, I don't think stating categorically to "keep smoking weed" is necessarily the best advice. What he has tried is smoking weed. He has also tried smoking less weed. I don't think he has tried smoking no weed. It may help. It may make all the difference. It may be a catalyst for other changes in his life that will help him.

Smoking marijuana is great for some people. In spite of the problems I have had from smoking, I still think it was an important part of my life and I wouldn't change it for anything. But it's not something that EVERYONE can do forever.

[Chiral]

Perhaps seeing a psychiatrist as a couple, or individually might help. You might be offered some CBT treatment, try running a course of anti-depressants..( not for everyone )...but in deeper depressive waters they can extract you back out into a state of relative calmness and sobriety, which I might add is usually where you need to get to before starting a fresh and thinking rationally.

Calling up and booking some couples counseling will give you the drive to get out and attend the appointments, this has the desired effect of extracting you from your den of anger and depression before any counseling has even begun. You will be surprised, just getting out and about to this appointments and making an effort can really help lift your spirits.

[reptyle]

Its like your generalising...but the opposite direction of how it really is...

they say the path of the medicines is like two coiled snakes on a staff...one snake being the drug, the other being the lifestyle of the one holding the staff...they both coil equally, when one is activated the other automatically follows, aligning with "true centre". not an individuated idea of ignorant pleasure, an ultimate personality, this realignment is awkward and trying for some people...eventually there is a balance, as long as it is sought and witnessed, success is inevitable...modify with effortlessness and perseverance...

ganja is one of these forces...align your self, and find union with...

[holymountain]

smoking weed might be good for you sometimes but it's not good for you all the time. like you said reptyle it is a sacred state and should be respected. most people have no problems with it until years of smoking it daily. like everything...problems only occur when you abuse it or have too much too often.

a lot of people start in high school and i think it inhibits them from developing properly. it can be useful for appreciation of things and for gaining new insights but it also stops your ability to handle stress or deal with long term projects....think of how much we develop as people from the ages of 14 to 20...

if you are smoking weed the whole time it will cause problems later in life because you have not developed the necessary skills to lead a full life...

i know thats a very generalised statement but i think there is some truth in it.

from reading what rob has written i would say his marijuana usuage has contributed massively to his paranoia and aggressiveness and that it might be time to stop for a while.

[coin]

it would be good if this argument "pot: help or hinder?" was mostly left alone now so this thread doesn't go way off track...as with all ethno forums, that has already been debated many times over.

a few people have suggested to just stop smoking and see if that helps, but he's already cut back a bit, which is a good effort. if smoking acts, in part, as a coping strategy for some underlying issue, simply suggesting to someone that the problem is the weed is overly simplistic. that's why i think it will be a massive help for someone to guide & support, who can see the bigger picture. whoever that person might be, it isn't one of us.

[mac]

I have to agree with the giving up weed, i have had allot of problems that i contribute to smoking pot on a daily basis (several times daily) for the past 20 yrs

So i have not had a cone for just over two weeks now & it has made a difference with my anxiety & just getting out of the house & finally getting a few things done that i have been putting off for so long

Sure the underling problems are still there but it seems that i can deal with those problems much better without abusing weed or just getting stoned to try to forget about the daily BS life throws at us

Seeking professional help for other problems can be a hard thing to do but its a good start

Good luck with it its not easy but after the first week things gradually start to balance out

Edited November 2, 2009 by mac

[ballzac]

it would be good if this argument "pot: help or hinder?" was mostly left alone now so this thread doesn't go way off track...as with all ethno forums, that has already been debated many times over.

Apologies for my following comments

he's already cut back a bit, which is a good effort.

I don't think cutting back helps a lot, particularly if he is still smoking at least once every three days as I find it takes at least that long for some of the more subtle effects to wear off. In addition to this, some of his problems could be in part caused by his diminished intake (his aggression for instance), and cutting down as opposed to quitting will just prolong this and cloud his understanding of the part that weed plays in his problems.

simply suggesting to someone that the problem is the weed is overly simplistic. that's why i think it will be a massive help for someone to guide & support, who can see the bigger picture. whoever that person might be, it isn't one of us.

Absolutely agree, but quitting weed may be a good place to start. He has come to an ethnobotany forum for advice, so ethnocentric advice is to expected. If...IF weed is a major contributing factor to his problems, then all other help he gets is doomed to failure if he doesn't stop smoking.

[AndyAmine.]

One suggestion I have for you is that if you smoke bongs please give smoking joints a try for a few weeks, in the majority of cases it will make quite a noticeable difference in regards to the 'fog' and the 'more'ish' cravings.

Whats even better is, if you smoke with tobacco try smoking straight for a while as well (even if you have to smoke a ciggy afterward at first)

If you, like I do, find it REALLY hard to stop smoking cones because of the needy/craving sensations you get in in the muscles of your lungs and solar plexus try smoking from a hash/shot pipe before moving to joints.

Another technique for dealing with the craving for bongs is to mimic pulling a bong by just sucking the air deep into the bottom of your lungs and holding it before blowing out, try this for 5 -10 breaths (more if you can).

This practice is very similar to the 'breath of fire' used in kundalini yoga which has many applications for ailments such as anxiety, depression and repressed anger which fit you well.

http://www.kundaliniyoga.org/pranayam.html

I hope this helps you in some way and I live in the same area as you so if you ever need a chat or help going to an MA meeting or something just give me a yell as I have/am dealt/dealing with similar issues regarding my pot use.

[robb387]

Thanks Andy, ima tryn conquer myself n go without for at least a few days, n the yoga will b of gr8 help, i trust.

"Whether drugs lead to illumination or degradation depends on the spirit in which one takes them."

words of wisdom.

------

"reread your post when you come down!

you say he is becoming unconcerned about your condition.

should he be concerned?

are you concerned?

t s t ."

i cringed at this. i guess the aswer is yes im concerned, but am i doing enuf about it to warrent concern from others? truthefuly i do wat i can-perhaps not enough, but i do try. I guess it might b that im not trying hard enuf. probably not surprising that my bf's said basically tha same thing, that its hard2 be concerned wen im not. and im nota child witha snake, i know wat im playin with....

thanx guyz

Edited November 2, 2009 by robb387

[Storm crow]

Relocate to the tropics and start spending your days away from your house.

Keep smoking weed its good for you.

The more interesting you become...on purpose...the better your life will be generelly, for you and your friend/s.

Do not go to see a Western Trained Doctor, maybe see a naturopath...or aromatherapist.

Start skipping.

Actually put a life change into action...

peace.

Well said reptyle, with one exception - smoke itself in large quantities is difficult to balance out in the body. I'd suggest a vaouriser or eating it

If one is having struggles with life, focus on adding good to find balance rather than focusing on the 'bad'. The good things in life are simple -

1/ Good food to fuel our body (clean air and water as well)

2/ Exercise to keep the body running

3/ Relaxtion/meditation (can be active meditation like walking) to calm the mind. Most importantly, don't forget to BREATHE!

4/ A sense of purpose - survival is a good start, anything on top of that is a bonus (work for YOUR dreams not making others rich by working for theirs)

5/ A sense of belonging - socialisation for most, community. Simply being one with nature and the universe can achieve this for some

The 'bad' things in life are those that your body tells you aren't good for it. The cleaner one's body is, the more one's senses come alive and make this process easier to achieve balance.