How to live a happy life...

[Evil Genius]

Actually a very simple Question! Are you happy with your life? What do you essentially need to be happy? Did you have times when you were unhappy or desperate? What did you do to change this? How to live a happy life? I´m very interested what comes out of this! bye Eg

Edited October 30, 2007 by Evil Genius

[ramon]

From books on happiness I read about 1 year ago.

Optimism.

This stood out as being the biggest single factor in many different aspects of Happiness.

Keep your body healthy and well fed.

Have interests that challenge you.

Having a significant other.

[ramon]

this previous discussion on happiness is worth looking at

http://www.australianethnobotany.com/viewt...&highlight=

[Fenris]

When I was in my 20's I was miserable a lot of the time, I didn't have any money or a satisfying job with any future and no prospects for a girlfriend and the immediate future was pretty grim. I couldn't stand feeling so crap all the time so I stopped getting drunk at every opportunity which reduced my post inebriation anxiety and was much better for my physical wellbeing, I stopped smoking pot even though it was not particularly regular use. It took about 3 months to feel that maybe there was a future that might not be so bad. Then I got a girlfriend and went back to uni and things got much better.

Fortunately for me I am not particularly materialistic so not being able to afford a new wardrobe, shoes, car doesn't bother me much.

I am much happier with my life now in part due to the GABA which helps me feel normal without any anxiety or frustration which had plagued me over the last 3-4 years.

My spiritual persuits have also led me to a place of better understanding of myself, to being more open and accepting.

Without the constant internal struggle I have found it quite easy to be happy. It did take forever to get here and I hope it lasts.

I think having a hobby that makes you happy is very important as well. Being able to weed my cactus garden and watch new pups form is really rewarding as is looking after all my plants.

I believe having a dog is also really good.

Absolutely optimism is a must, there is nothing worse than seeing no end to a bad situation. I spent the last 2 years feeling like I was drowning with no avenue for escape. Once I sorted out the problem I felt a huge weight lift off me and could see a happy future again.

[AndyAmine.]

In the wise words of Mescalito, 'Fake it till you make it" ;)

[MORG]

I'm a firm believer in the influence of a positive outlook.

I'm a very happy person. I don't dwell on negativity. It sounds obvious but I believe my own mind and conscious thought is the single most important factor in determining my life's path and well being. It IS obvious but I believe too many people get caught up on external influences and forget that no matter what the problem is your mind is always capable of healing your mind.

I'm not overly healthy but not unhealthy. I'm single and have been for a long time but remain sexually active (with occasional droughts). I work in a job I love which is both challenging and stimulating. I haven't been stressed in over 2 years (but that's probably going to change with being a post grad student now!). I'm happy with myself and my life. I love being me.

I avoid negative people and try not to whinge. It's hard for me to take on others' problems and lack of sympathy is a fault of mine. I cannot be friends with someone with a poor opinion of themselves.

No matter what happens, it could always be worse.

I like being a human on sunny Spring days, I rarely use an umbrella because I like the rain. In Summer I like getting into a hot car and wincing as I break into an immediate sweat.

I have alot of friends and enjoy making new ones.

I hold a totally naturalistic worldview.

I am here for me first and foremost.... until I have children; a moment I look forward to.

I avoid conflict.

I believe I can do anything if I put in the work.

People often get less or more than they deserve. There's no such thing as deserving. You get a mixture of what your given and what you work for.

The past is the past and cannot be changed. Don't dwell. Think to the future.

I don't work too hard. I work enough to get me to where and what I want.

I'm cynical and reading this makes me sick about myself

Edited October 31, 2007 by MORG

[apothecary]

In regards to happiness I like to paraphrase Nietzsche a lot:

Decide what you want, and go about getting it. No bullshit. The only valid excuses are terminal illness or abject poverty (i.e. if you are healthy and have a roof over your head, then you don't have an excuse!).

I also quite like this quote from Abraham Lincoln because it is simple, and simple things are hard to break (otherwise it is quite easy to have your value system quickly eroded when you become depressed).

EDIT:

Also like to add, nothing that's worth it is easy, so sometimes you have to sacrifice valued tangible or intangible assets or just plain work hard to obtain your happiness.

And sometimes you just have to be happy with what you got, 'cos well, it's all you've got!

Edited October 31, 2007 by apothecary

[ethnodude]

grow, respect, develop relationships with and consume plants. basically go back to nature. the rest will come naturally.

unfortunately powers that be don't want us to be happy and healthy and hence certain regulations. a sick society is one easy to control.

[Torsten]

I haven't quite worked out if I eat mushrooms regularly when I am happy or if I am happy when I eat mushrooms regularly, but somehow the two always go hand in hand.

Optimism is paramount to happiness. I am lucky in that respect as many of my friends claim that my greatest character flaw is blinding [and blind] optimism. The problem with excessive optimism is that it will invariably lead to many failures and mistakes which can then have the distinct opposite effect - at least for a short while.

Seeing a positive side in even the worst things is also really important. Like, many of the bad things that have happened in my life led me to major changes or major events that then produced some of the best things in my life. Frequently so serendipitous that I regard myself as an extremely luckky person. But this positivity isn't just for the 'big' things. It needs to occupy every little thought process to be successful. Like the other week when we got raided and I was so stressed I could not sleep or eat, I said to Daniel that I found the silver lining of this misery: I managed to lose 6 kilos without even trying. He just glared at me, but deep down I was really happy about that and for a little while did not have to think about the crap we were going through.

[incognito]

i dunno whether id call myself a happy person...

i do agree with torsten and the other postees, that to have faith is very important.(jebus was well onto it)

i am lucky that no matter what happens in my life, something always occurs or slips into place right at the last moment and yeah i sail on.. im VERY VERY lucky in that regard. I have this fools philosophy that things will always work out, and that something will occur that will bail me out of the shit,,, and it always does!! i have faith that things will always be okay..in the end.

But i guess i am quite a happy dude, especially when i lose my anxiety issues, which i seem to have shaken off.

Although its true and my parents will confirm this, that i am happiest when im all by myself, then my fantasy world really kicks in and things become very pleasant and interesting!!! Seems like there is always something/ someone looking after/over me, and i love being with my plants and gardening, i love that feeling of being beloved to the earth that i feel when i have the soil in my hands, it is truly my church.

Im lucky that ive got a lil girl in my life who fills me with love, just being around her fills me with positive energy and i feel like i can do anything.

So i really must say that right now im truly happy, possibly for the first time in my life!

-touch wood!

i do believe that u reap what u sow, and that a positive word or gesture will be returned 10 fold.

same applys to words and gestures performed in haste and with venom. u get that venom back.

but yeah im happy. its so nice to say that!!!

[gusto]

Lots of good advice in this thread for keeping one's head pointed in a positive direction.

We all have our rainy days. Go ahead and shed a tear when you feel the need, just don't wallow in self pity.

Smile even when you're not on top of the world. Do something good for somebody else, it helps to take your mind off your own worries.

Don't just do what feels good. Rather, do those things that you'll feel good about having done.

Learn to accept the things you can't change, but give your absolute best effort on those that are under your control.

Don't sweat the small stuff. (BTW it's all small stuff)

Live each day as if it were your last

[Salviador]

Happiness is not really what youre after. a good question to ask is, if i were happy what would i do differently? the answer to that is more related to your core values, the things that give life meaning. being unhappy all the time is unnecessary, however feeling happy all the time is neither desirable realistic nor possible.

What makes us unhappy is an unwillingness to experience unpleasant emotions, looking from thoughts rather than at them, and allowing unpleasant emotions to cloud or stop you from living a values driven life.

IMHO

[chilli]

Actually a very simple Question! Are you happy with your life? What do you essentially need to be happy? Did you have times when you were unhappy or desperate? What did you do to change this? How to live a happy life? I´m very interested what comes out of this! bye Eg

I've been increasingly happy lately, as in the last few days anyway!

I'm happy with my life, but not totally content where I am at, but that is expressing itself more frequently as a hopeful and motivated attitude towards the future, or at least the ability to lie to my self convincingly.

For me, being happy is accepting myself, and accepting other people, and just partaking of a chill every now and then. I am rarely happy when I am self-righteous, which is probably why I am depressed a lot!

I also felt unhappy a lot when our life was controlled by other people's decisions, and moving countries has been liberating in this regard and many ways, as it has been an awesome break from all the crappy part of families, as well as an opportunity for new things, which I think humans need to endeavor on every now and then to stay sane/happy.

I also agree that a positive attitude is a great asset, but also would add that humor is important as well... good humor that is, the good kind.

I also think being sad and negative occasionally or when necessary is important in being happy overall... I mean, no one wants to be idiotically happy and positive do they?

But yeah, overall I could condense my ramblings to say: hope for the future, good relationships with those I love and doing what I enjoy is what makes me happy, and when I don't feel happy I just accept it for what it is and try not to nurse it too much so I can ride it out and get sane/happy again.

[devance]

I think optimism is a matter of thinking in a psychological frame of mind with two ways to go as central viewpoint.

Namely the problem situation becomes alot easier to deal with from a more objective viewpoint.

In a problem situation that would make a psycholgical sense of well being.

Just makes one feel well.

Not a matter of whats going on as physically.

Just stabilizing.

Dealing from a situation from a raped ape outlook doesn't work out.

[devance]

I have been the raped ape [male] so thats not cheap shot on a female emotions which happen to appreciate.

[Sparkster]

The things we can do to make our lives happy don't tend to be universal truths, some of the happiest people I know seem to be doing things that wouldn't satisfy me personally(and vice versa).

I simply don't want a happy life, I want a meaningful life. It's important to be content, and I have to know that if I died tommorow I wouldn't be distraught at not having done something.

I'm pretty much there, there are things I'd love to do, but I also feel that I've brought more good things into the world than bad....

Art provides my life with meaning, and happiness, a hobby and message. Sometimes I wonder how well I'd cope if I lost the ability to paint or became blind (which would obviously distress me), on the otherhand... If I'd lost the ability to walk, although inconvenianced I'd quietly look forward to living off accident comp and painting endlessly while my partner runs around after me...

Also, wanting, needing, desiring things can be easily destructive elements in someones life. I've lived my whole life so far desiring things I can't have and can never afford, (like a house!) and I'm slowly starting to care less & less about it.

For the first time in my life I work for an employer I like, and that means alot to me, as most of our waking time is spent working.

Edited November 10, 2007 by Sparkster

[ThunderIdeal]

this is part of the religious approach but i think happiness goes to those that live in the present and aren't ruled by desires. having desires is setting yourself up for disappointment. it's like "i want this and then i'll be happy", i doubt it has ever worked for anyone.

being happy is about playing the hand you're given. work doesn't need to suck because you absorb yourself in the moment, make the most of it even though it's not your most preferred activity. suffering is growing.

salviador said it well.

taking it to the extreme, all of the good things in life shouldn't really be necessary, in fact, the happiness they bring could be a curse i dunno really. main point is that if your happiness is attached your material circumstances then your're boned.

[ThunderIdeal]

it's different to what apothecary is saying. you can chase after your dreams, take your life wherever it is you think it should be. it just might not turn out that way and when it doesn't, are you gonna roll with it or are you gonna become desperately depressed because you tied your happiness to your circumstance?