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Edited by lsdreamz

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Edited by lsdreamz

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Time and posts i have no problem with.. its the meetings part that concerns me.. I am the person who started this thread:

http://www.shaman-australis.com/forum/inde...showtopic=13091

And to cut a long ass post short :P i have a decnt case of social phobia, so going to meeting and making friends in person is a really tough thing for me. The main reason i am into natural herbs and psychedelics, are for the way they make me feel and how they kick the crap out of my phobia untill they wear off. That and there alot of fun :innocent_n:

I really dont know what i expected with posting this or the mentioned thread.. i guess its just me trying to reach out and at least give it a shot :lol:. Oh well i tried at least :P

You'll also find some people open up quicker than others. This can be for numerous reasons.

Some people have been burnt before, and others are seemingly unafraid of getting burnt. Some may just have a social phobia, and others thrive on being social.

Neither is wrong. Everyone is different.

I, personally, thrive on social contact of all sorts. Its the main reason I quit my lab job. Everyday the walls got smaller and smaller. The highlight of my day was doing the mail-run up to head-office. I was choking in there, my depression shot thru the roof, my weight went up too.

Now I'm in psuedo-sales, I love it - I meet a new person every 5 minutes. I'm happy again.

This is just me tho, I'm very easily approachable - don't dare think less of anyone else for not being so approachable. Chances are they'll know alot more about ethnobotanicals than I do. Scratch that.... They WILL know alot more about enthobotanicals than I do.

Everyone has their reasons.

I guess the most important point is to just keep presenting yourself as you are - people will see it, no matter who they are.

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i to, as we all probably did felt like i was not in "the circle of trust" when i first started posting (says the seasoned campaigner with 60 posts :lol: ) and over time ive gained the trust of the ones ive since dealt with and inturn trusted them. no different to how it would work in a face to face social setting.

judgements are made by the superficial and its their loss they dont allow themselves to see the heart someone caries before ruling against. i did this in my teenage years and am not proud of it.

your previous thread (that youve linked) and this one shows the effort and thought you have put into you becoming part of the community and to me proves how genuine you are. we have seen the you you really are and your honesty shines, trust is built on honesty, so with out you being aware of it, it is natural that you are already starting to be trusted.

Communicate with people the best you can with the qualities you know you have, PM people, PM me, as the 'time' and 'posts' disolve the 'shit 'maybe the meeting will become easier? if people dont have the time and inclination to make a new friend then their probably not worth making a new friend with.

its easy for me to sit here and type this and i hope i dont sound as if ive simplified your situation, tell me to go stick a product of excesive girth in my anus if ive been insensitive.

all the best lsdreamz. :)

Edited by endogenous

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Dont get me wrong brother, I wasnt being a prick, I was jst being honest :) it takes time but if there is any forum or group of people worth putting the time in for, its this one....

You mention that you suffer from social phobias, I can indentifiy with you there and youll probabaly be interested to know that quite a few other people here are in the same boat, so keep in mind that we are going through similar emotions to yourself, particularly when it comes to meeting new people.

I never read your other post until today (well Ill be honest Ive only skimmed it so far because Im busy), I guess I missed it somehow because I only use the 'view new posts' function, so Im sorry about that.

I also suffer from major social phobias and anxiety/depression as a lot of people here can atest too ( :blush: ) but thankfuly its slowly getting better due to my re-belief in mankind after meeting some of the people here, the use of creative thinking/planning along with tryptophan/gabba and cutting down on the pot.

I hope that with the information contained here at SAB and the help and knowlegde of its members you too can get a good grasp on your situation and kick it in the ass... until that happens, follow the wise words of our member mescalito, 'Fake It Til Ya Make It'.....

With love,

AA

(p.s you should try watching the movies 'the secret' and 'what the bleep do we know?', they do a good job of explaining the 'fake it til you make it' method and how important positive thinking really is)

Edited by AndyAmine.

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just want to second andyamine's recomendation of 'what the bleep do we know' it played a important roll in the early stages of the direction im in at the moment.

if your not inclined to buy it let me know and i'l be happy to lend it to you by post, just yell out.

EDIT: actually you'd prob find it at a video store for the same price as postage... sorry man its late and past my bed time.

Edited by endogenous

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Ive been here for years and most people don't give a crap about me. Ive pretty much given up trying to connect and just jot down the odd comment and talk to people who know their stuff or I feel are pretty similar to me. I come here because there's a dense spike of similarity in this community compared to the world at large. I too had social anxiety. After having it for nearly 15 years, I have now decided that the only way I can get forward is not by trying to overcome the fear; i've just learnt that i'm happiest if I really don't give a fuck about other people. I feel much happier with this attitude where I can finally say to myself : "I, in general, I don't like other people". it's such a release. I don't even like myself when I am formed into a person - hence the attraction of psychedelics, which enable me to escape the unbearable burden of personhood.

The idea of a person is a horrible demonlike protuberance and probably the cosmos' biggest fuck-up ever.

I guess society is going to throw up :puke: the occasional misanthrope and sometimes social anxiety is the way this is revealed to us.

Mind you, I am also pathologically sensitive to the emotions of others. if a checkout person is slightly off with me, it tends to ruin my whole day. A nasty comment from a co-worker drags at my soul for a week. Misanthropy is the only protective mechanism i have found (apart from psilocybin) that can deal with this sensitivity. The hardest shell forms around the softest kernel.

So my advice? Don't sweat it. None of us are worth knowing anyway from the cosmic view.

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Ive been here for years and most people don't give a crap about me.

speaking for myself, i think that's bullshit. although i don't know you well, i still wondered where the fuck you'd disappeared to when you hadn't been on the forums for ages.

the only way I can get forward is not by trying to overcome the fear; i've just learnt that i'm happiest if I really don't give a fuck about other people.

as someone dealing with social phobia, i think this is dangerous advice because it's essentially i cop out and won't ever make you truly happy. i think you need to separate the issue into two parts: do you want to have meaningful relationships with people, and do you have/believe you can have meaningful relationships? it's one thing to have a general tendency towards solitude if it's of your own choosing, and another to be by yourself because you feel you have difficulty relating to other people or have a fear of negative experiences.

I am also pathologically sensitive to the emotions of others. if a checkout person is slightly off with me, it tends to ruin my whole day.

being sensitive to the emotions of others is an admirable trait, but assuming that it's your fault is pathological. i've had similar experiences, i'd go home and brood for hours about what someone actually meant when they said this or did that. this sort of shit did my head in, i found it was a lot easier to eliminate all social contact than actually make an effort to know people, but at the same time risk what little sense of self i had. something that's really helped me recently is this sort of thinking:

it could be your fault, but it probably isn't. there's a million reasons why they could be dickheads to you, and there's always the possibility that you've misinterpreted their body language or what they've said. and even if they're pissed off at you, fuck em -- why the hell would you judge someone you don't really know. alternatively, do you judge someone so quickly and so harshly when they act or say something stupid? you probably don't give it a second thought... so what makes you assume that they're actually thinking rotten thoughts about you?

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"What do you really know about yourself until you've been in a fight?"...Tyler Durden, Fight Club.

This is a metaphor I hold dearly. Why? Fight Club was to me what LSD was to Albert Hoffman, A Problem Child. Everything was saying stop watching it but I got addicted to it's mind altering abilities, it kept picking and picking at my sense of reality until my old perception of reality was gone. With my old sense of reality obselete I slipped into a limbo of helplessness until I decided that I needed to create a new model of reality, this meant working out what I wanted to do with my time on Earth. I didn't know who I was anymore though so how could I know what I wanted to do? All I knew at the time was I liked my mind-set or version of reality while on pingers so I worked at getting my standard version of reality inline to that when I'm on pingers.

What this meant was working out what the difference was between the two mind-states and making the neccessary tweaks to my normal state to bring it inline with that when I was pinging.

My advice is to follow a similar train of thought to Thelema, people aren't what you think they are, consider each interaction a battle of minds, if yours is stronger with a good handle on what reality actually is you'll nail it everytime. This is the message of Fight Club, get in a fight, night a pugilistic one, a philosophical one. It's about doing what you need to to be confident enough to say your mind is fitter than everyone elses then getting in fights with "people" (mind vs mind) to see how fit you actually are. If you take a hit get up and keep fighting. There's heaps of good fights and fighters on this forum. Get in a few and see how ya go, be honest with your self when judging your ability, you'll only have your self to blame when the day comes that you meet your match.

"Great spirits always receive opposition from mediocre minds"....Einstein.

Consider your social phobia a part of the fat you need to shed if you are going to make the weight and then win the ultimate fight that is your life. You akrewed this fat by indulging too much on what mediocre minds have fed you with in the past. Shed this fat buy do doing some mind "heavy-bag work", learn to Box like a "MO-FO", don't stop being a fighter for truth till your body gives up the ghost.

The trust comes from your fellow fighters once they have sized you up and worked out if your of lesser or greater abiltity, a friend or a foe. If you put all the cards on the table and don't show any signs of being a threat you earn trust, this just means people don't fear you.

Obviously, in these circles, there's the potential of "actors" i.e. undercover cops wanting to dish out low blows by gaining trust then abusing it, that's a risk you take being a member here, how far you take that risk is subjective, you need to work that into your concept of and expectations of trust.

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Bruce lee was miles infront of his peers not just because he worked hard but because he took only what was the best of each style of martial art to form his own.

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Bruce lee was miles infront of his peers not just because he worked hard but because he took only what was the best of each style of martial art to form his own.

but then he died

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We all die. :rolleyes:

endogenous, i like the comparison. my brother has always used a similar analogy about how bruce lee picked the best of each style and he try to does the same with each lifestyle. makes for an interesting reality, for him.

Shiva, i also like your take on the mind, the strength of the mind and the survival of the fittest notion, yet it seems a little exclusive as far as trust is concerned and thats what this topic is all about.

As for gaining trust, lsdreamz, I trust you already, but only because i feel i know a part of you. Keep showing more of you each time you post and people formulate an image or opinion of you, whatever this is, people find it easier to relate to and trust an 'image' they have of someone than someone they know nothing about and could just be a cop.

Don't forget, we're all a little paranoid. :)

Edited by Infinitee

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We all die. :rolleyes:

endogenous, i like the comparison. my brother has always used a similar analogy about how bruce lee picked the best of each style and he try to does the same with each lifestyle. makes for an interesting reality, for him.

Shiva, i also like your take on the mind, the strength of the mind and the survival of the fittest notion, yet it seems a little exclusive as far as trust is concerned and thats what this topic is all about.

As for gaining trust, lsdreamz, I trust you already, but only because i feel i know a part of you. Keep showing more of you each time you post and people formulate an image or opinion of you, whatever this is, people find it easier to relate to and trust an 'image' they have of someone than someone they know nothing about and could just be a cop.

Don't forget, we're all a little paranoid. :)

I would be able to beat bruce lee. he was just an actor, I could smash him... I would challenge him to a duel... if he wasnt so dead.

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I would be able to beat bruce lee. he was just an actor, I could smash him... I would challenge him to a duel... if he wasnt so dead.

please dont sling shit on bruce unless you have actually done some study on the man.

acting was his way of spreading his message that you should not blindly follow the masses but explore the truths in everything you encounter not just fighting but life, the martial arts were just the vessel he put his message in and really only the tip of the iceberg in what he was actually trying to teach/express to us.

did you know he had a degree in philosophy and quite an extensive library on the matter?

jeet kune do was his style and his style alone no-one else can teach it or duplicate it, it was not the style he was trying to get across but the concepts behind how he came to his conclusions, he was trying to give you the tools to become an individual, unfortunately man is a sheep and believe they should blindly follow a good idea rather than question why it is a good idea and is it good for me.

Isdreamz just look at the depth of this honest discussion you have initiated and you should see the beginnings of the trust you seek blooming with each post,listen to the advice given by others here p.m those that clicked with you if you need to chat,reply to other threads no matter how trivial you think your comments may be remember you are effectively standing in a room with over 1000 other people who have a common interest you WILL connect with someone on a more personal level and the walls you have built up will start to crumble.

all the best on your journey :)

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please dont sling shit on bruce unless you have actually done some study on the man.

acting was his way of spreading his message that you should not blindly follow the masses but explore the truths in everything you encounter not just fighting but life, the martial arts were just the vessel he put his message in and really only the tip of the iceberg in what he was actually trying to teach/express to us.

did you know he had a degree in philosophy and quite an extensive library on the matter?

jeet kune do was his style and his style alone no-one else can teach it or duplicate it, it was not the style he was trying to get across but the concepts behind how he came to his conclusions, he was trying to give you the tools to become an individual, unfortunately man is a sheep and believe they should blindly follow a good idea rather than question why it is a good idea and is it good for me.

Isdreamz just look at the depth of this honest discussion you have initiated and you should see the beginnings of the trust you seek blooming with each post,listen to the advice given by others here p.m those that clicked with you if you need to chat,reply to other threads no matter how trivial you think your comments may be remember you are effectively standing in a room with over 1000 other people who have a common interest you WILL connect with someone on a more personal level and the walls you have built up will start to crumble.

all the best on your journey :)

i have studied his fighting style extensively, and I believe my style would kick his style arse. he had 1 inch punch, I have 1 inch, rip his heart out and show it to him... I learnt that one from studying mortal combat.

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i have studied his fighting style extensively, and I believe my style would kick his style arse. he had 1 inch punch, I have 1 inch, rip his heart out and show it to him... I learnt that one from studying mortal combat.

i agree if u can fight like scorpion you could 'beat' almost anyone! :P

but i do not see actual use of violence as a virtue :wub:

im not sure this social phobias issue is best represented in a metaphor of you needing to be able fight someone.

no offense. :huh:

please try not to feel that if somthn is a challenge or even really overwhelming that it means someone or somthn is attacking you. (almost nearly) everyone has beautiful and forgettable traits and if 'horrible' and offesive traits seem to override all else than u should think of it more as their burden than yrs. i've met alot of tough people, that if anything would rather fight to the death (lit) than open up, and sometimes you have to ignore them but often you can help them.

it might sound like shit and giggles but having compassion, love and the botheration (sic) to help someone time and time again even if it seems detremental and pointless is far more rewarding than just shunning or smacking someone.

but thats my opinion and i hope it helps.

x peace ppls

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p.s. lsdreamz, i'll be yr friend, i live in syd and don't grow anything 'exciting' yet as such, although i do have this freak of a tomato plant that nearly stands as tall as me and has only been going for a month. seriously! and i do like going on trips, camping etc.

also have you seen the maxx comics or cartoons? cos there as these little creatures called 'iz' and they look like yr display picture!

x peace

pm me

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p.s. lsdreamz, i'll be yr friend, i live in syd and don't grow anything 'exciting' yet as such, although i do have this freak of a tomato plant that nearly stands as tall as me and has only been going for a month. seriously! and i do like going on trips, camping etc.

also have you seen the maxx comics or cartoons? cos there as these little creatures called 'iz' and they look like yr display picture!

x peace

pm me

could be a male, ha!!!

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could be a male, ha!!!

who? me or 'him'? i don't get it?

i do prefer camping with boys, but tripping with girls. :shroomer:

i don't always know what you're on about but you are a funny bastard shroomy!

x

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post-2081-1172380884_thumb.jpg

the maxx and a black iz.

post-2081-1172381167_thumb.jpg

mr. gone and black iz, , little bastards.

x

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post-2081-1172381167_thumb.jpg

post-2081-1172380884_thumb.jpg

post-2081-1172381167_thumb.jpg

Edited by husk

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who? me or 'him'? i don't get it?

i do prefer camping with boys, but tripping with girls. :shroomer:

i don't always know what you're on about but you are a funny bastard shroomy!

x

your tomato plant!!

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your tomato plant!!

ooohhhhhhhhhhh...ahahah. ok i understand.

yeah well, it has tomatoes but they are staying green and are bigger than cherry but well smaller than normal?

soory for off topic ppls.

x peace

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Shiva, i also like your take on the mind, the strength of the mind and the survival of the fittest notion, yet it seems a little exclusive as far as trust is concerned and thats what this topic is all about

At the root it's being too timid to put himself out there which is what needs to happen if he is to be trusted, if someone has social phobia then how can they put themselves out there? Beat the base fear and the rest sorts itself out.

"Once Bitten, Twice Shy"

"The burnt child dreads the fire"

"Life is suffering"....Buddha

Yearning for Ideals is setting yourself up to live in the shadow of false hopes and will lead to a shock realisation the day your physical body runs out of time here on Earth - it's was all just trickery, a mental survial tool used by your imagination to make you less anxious by denying the truth, Freud was onto something similar with his theory of the "Oedipul Complex".

If you turn this "everyone is out to get me" model of reality into a belief by attaching emotions to it you end up in self-pity, apathy and possibly sloth. My heart used to live on my sleeve, it would trust everyone, it just kept getting hurt. I wanted to change this which meant working out where I wanted to shift my faulty model of reality to? Change takes work, work requires energy, what you want to get out you have what you put in.

What do you want to get out? Pay attention to your dreams or inner turmoils, what would make your waking life feel like you do in your dreams or free from inner turmoils? Set some goals, believe in them and make them happen - it's going to hurt, everything worth while in life does.

See this as a process of finding your jouissance.

Whatever happens in between your moments of jouissance doesn't really matter, what is important is that you are having these moments. Deep down, what do you love and what would you go to war to protect? That's all you should be worried about, not if someones gonna pay you out or not. That's just a tactic those with weak characters/no talent use to size up competitors and see if you are a threat to the security of their own jouissance (which is probably just the praises of their own mother).

"Fuck or be Fucked"...Unknown

Learn to see souls not people. Build dexterity to verbal attacks. Don't pay attention to body language, most of it is rehearsed or habitual to give off the impression that they are more than they are when all they really are deep inside is simply Mummy's little boy/girl. They've been over mothered and have never thought that they are not the center of the universe as there mother would have them believe. The Virgin Mary, Shakti, Gaia, Saraswati etc - these are all symbols for the importance of not giving meaning to matters of the physical world because by having faith in the divine, i.e. something bigger, everything will be sweet, the universe will look after you if you are harmonious with it, you just need to find the beat that suits your natural style.

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