santiago

It wasnt me, i didnt do it. We have all been there. Rarely when you catch somebody out with a lie, they cover or even yourself will use a secondary lie to cover the truth. I have a mate who lies to his wife. He used to brief me sometimes of how to cover his story, he was working late or stuck in traffic. At one stage he must of only when i was there had 20 lies apon lies. And for no reason, there i was implicated. Why couldnt he just tell his wife that he was at the pub. Because she or he couldnt handle the truth. I suppose he was creating an illuson, decieving, manipulating, sometimes i know he would start to believe his own lies. For my friend the lies he created had become part of his life. He was happilly living a lie, and so was she. So what is the truth? Why does it have such signifigance when the whole world is running a systematic scheme thats natural and effective. Its a basic question and of course we do often tell the truth, but where can you find truth in its purity. Does it exist or am i being too metaphorical. From a young age, kids are identified as of higher intelligence when they in a group situation perform a lie on the candy jar lie test. These kids grow up and develop into higher roles that suit that skill. Managers and salesmen, lawyers and politicians. Look at socially for example. People are crafty, if you had the time to disect people, you would find limited truth. Socially lying is needed. When i saw that my ex girlfriend from 3 years ago had put on 50kgs, was i meant to say "hi mandy, gees you have gotten fat", that would be hurtful and insensitive. I said of course that it was great to see her and so on. So the problem with truth is that, people in general cannot handle the truth. Everything that we take as normal is really a big big lie. Take religion, take politics, take astrology, aliens and spirituality, the universe, advertising, make up, what we need, what we see, what we hear and say, actually if i look around i cant see anything with my own eyes here and now that isnt not the truth besides its being there physically. Religion i know is a touchy truth, but as far as i know from a purely real sense, it hasnt been proved. Faith cannot be proved, but is faith and truth the same. I suppose this isnt groundbreaking stuff here just a casual observation. In a sense both a lie and a truth have the same equal and opposite meanings. Are we really feeling better about being open and honest or are you lying to yourself as well. But im off on a bit of a tangent so i will stop there. But i suppose what i want is, where can i find it. Really. In a rainbow, a beer, a dream, a story, a friend. Somebody tell me the truth, does it exist, if i accidentally reversed ito a ferrari and nobody saw, is leaving a note really an intelligent thing to do. Does that make me a better person. How does it feel, being poor to poor to affort repairs, do you own up or go. Probably some will write and some will flee. I reckon that the guy who saves 5000 dollars might not be "truthful" but absolutely nobody is truthful n real life so why pick and choose what your truth is meant to be. I probably mistrust the honest people more. They have the most to lose. Logically the guy who saved $5000 is not honest but he is probably smarter. Which is why dobbing and telling the truth is a general sign of weakness in most group situations. Most people dob because they cant keep secrets, most people tell the truth when caught out red handed. The truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. Truth, truth, truth. You tell me the truth and ill do my best to tell to tell you my version of mine. I didnt do it, wasnt there, dont know nothing. The truth. Very powerful but simply a 5 letter word. .

Gtarman i think the lame cement jibe bigred tried to add was to - harden the f*@k up.

Earth is going to die one day, thats probably a fact. Asteroid, virus, starvation, giant war, the sun eventually dying expanding and making space dust of our souls. How can a billion people, which i think as a fairly generous cutoff, escape. We look at it almost every day. The moon. Ok sounds far fetched but you guys seem to be dealing with this cray Ison science fiction story fairly well. If we looked at it from a survival mode, why not. The moon is a gift for our survival, too good to be true. the ultimate escape pod. Spend a few thousand years fixing the moon up, ie transforming it into a real BIG space station. The ultimate future survival plan, no screwing around with spaceships, the universe has provded us with a natural spaceship. Dig into the moon, survive undergound. Cover the whole surface with a titanium moon cover, fly it with space sails and gravity slingshots. It will be large enough not to be damaged by space junk and meteors. The moon is our saviour. But it wont be cheap. If a billion people escape, it will be carnage. Unfortunately this idea is not a free ride. If you dont have the money to go, you wont go. There will be some lottery tickets available but unfortunately possibly 20 billion people will have to stay on doomed earth. Finally the day will come, how will the moon break free from earth. Giant spaceship tugs, reversing gravitational field, stopping the earth spinning. I reckon a giant slingshot myself. The moon will steadily speed up using solar technology engines, it will take 10 years at a gradual pace, hardly noticable. Over time the moon will be going 5 times faster, the nuclear engines will be fired up and it will be timed with a passing comet to maximise gravity. 100 space shuttles from earth will be escorting the moon at least as far as they can. They may have to provide a final tow at point of exit to push the moon ever so slightly away. When a destination is reached, the moon can orbit that planet for a while. Then who knows.

What a joke. Not u sharxx but the official tickets. No wonder u dont want to go dude. However 2 official site tix are $780. Jokes aside however a bit of advice of my own opinion. Why would you pay $20 dollars more to a unsold out no name festival to a person you probably dont know and a payment system not confirmed and delay delivered by an un foolproof postal delivery and pay more than the official seller via e tickets. $100 tix at most..just sayin.

I do like that tag in post 3. I tried tagging when 16yo. That was 22 years ago. You could say i am your godfather nail, handing down the profession to you guys. The truth however is i had a felt point pen and tagged about 20 times, mostly new homes getting built and they were in felt point pen. Some cooler kids who listened to vanilla ice came and wrote "toy" on my tags by monday morning. That meant i was shit, so i gave up forever. Graffiti is misunderstood if you ask me. Its not that i like or dislike it, nor do i weigh into the talent dispute. Its no more eyesore than a mcdonalds logo and that is forced into your face everyday and for what reason? Original good post nail.

Having broken my little finger on the left hand I thought it would be useful to do some amatuer recovery. I still cant bend it at the second joint and that was from not marking a aussie rules football proprely, when having grown up in that social enviroment having done it many thousands of times...oh well, but a good pal of mine did say that when you get to 30-50 that the injuries you sustain are the first indicators of elderly-ness, which i suppose is a no brainer. Its just a Monterey basic acoustic. Plus i decided to fill in some of that blue social networking sites lost time as i promised myself to do something different. At 36 I think it was a late decision to get what for me is a very impulsive buy. Also i thought i needed to do physiotherapy on the little finger so guitar served healing properties too. For me im not a technical beginner but im trying just to have fun first. Enjoy the different sounds it makes and slowly climb the what for me is a slow climb. Have decided to go out on a limb and go totally uneducated or skilled, I do get totally bummed sometimes because with lessons who knows...but then occasionally, sometimes for no time or not a great little riff can be produced. Im contemplating a electric pretty soon and i think a bass would make me just flip out because i would be having so much fun. I did a search and i could not find a purely instructional thread. Dont worry i have a book and you tube and stuff but its not really the same as peer research. Simple lessons from different backgrounds all related to here and now. So yeh, i totally think any person who always thought about it should persevere.I think 1 to 10 i would be a 1.5 but it has seemed to open up the creative side of my brain and it seems to be a very pure and positive result, also totally humbling........my friends 15yo kid was about a 9/10, it was amazing and that probably is why people give up, but yeh totally humbling because i held this kid as a baby and i was 15 years behind him. Guitar...............anything you want, teach the newbs or the oldies is the point of this singular thread. oh yeh i have been playing for 1 year approx, the first 11 months were hard but getting slighly easier but then the last weeks it feels like you double your knowledge kinda in 30 mins.

I dont know why im compelled to write this possibly its just in the hope i might be able to help somebody else escape from the grasp of the famous social networking site called facebook. Now there are heaps of pro's and cons of facebook but personally after 5 odd years as a member it was starting to wear real thin on my nerves. I didnt realise it until one night i woke up at 5am (which i never do) and was compelled to deactivate my account. So i did, 4 weeks later it feels like a great weight has been lifted and im FREE. Now dont get me wrong i was no facebook addict by a long shot, mainly i used it for free communication, email...the occasional humerous facebook status update, looking at photos that sorta thing, on the other hand i have friends who are connected nearly 24/7, have multiple farmville accounts, stalk, sit on chat and wait for any poor unsuspecting soul to log on so they can talk harrass them 3 seconds later not to mention other such petty activities as friend collecting to pretend like they have 650 friends in some misguided popularity contest. Once apon a time it was deemed cool to be a facebooker, ill go out on a limb now and say i wont be the first to join the disconnecting crew and you will see hopefully in the next year or two a mass movement away from facebook as people realise that facebook is now extremely ANTI COOL. Mainly now im enjoying my privacy back, at first i thought it was cool to put pics of my family and friends on, until you find yourself on google images, then you top up your privacy and somehow the people who you hated at school 20 years ago still somehow filter through and freind request you............then you realise as your choosing to accept them into your domain that you flippin well used to hate each other at school anyway so why would they even bother to try befriend you now, so you decline them and a month later they request you again. Im telling you this is just sick and there must be something wrong with people heads to think this is normal life. Then your family start requesting you and you have really no choice but accept them and your private life is now not private. So to add to the point and i dont use things to be cool but facebooks not really cool anymore when your friends see you add your 80yo grandma with blue hair hangin off a scooter doing the rock telephone with her fingers is it. And people dont realise that every single bit of info you write or add is all owned by facebook, not you anymore.............hey why dont you just give the key of your soul to the devil for FREE. Anyway i was hoping to be more concise...ill try add to my feelings in later posts, all im saying is that from somebody who was a skilled and quite normal user of facebook i have now seen the light, actually deep inside the actual word facebook now actually makes me feel sick inside...cant stand the word, i see it as nothing but a tool for the insecure, a popularity contest and a medium for people to stroke their little ego's and wank on about their unimportant lives. No longer will i allow my privacy to be invaded, i have a house i live in and thats my private world and jack the wanker from school is not invited, as a matter of fact my friends are not invited either, we will talk on the phone and catch up for a beer like normal people should. 4 weeks later i have lost the urge to look at a petty facebook uptate at 11PM at night by jill "i went to dinner and had fish" who flippin well cares jill, and for gods sake why the hell do i feel compelled to read that shit. And i dont...................im FREE, free of the bullshit, free of the hype, free of the pettyness and most of all mentally im free from the soul sucking, waste of time, annoyingness of FACEBOOK. to finally sum up my last point is i now spend 20 mins per day learning guitar, its the 20 mins i prolly would have spent looking blankly at a blue facebook screen with a speck of dribble floating out of my non comprehensive mouth, i have learned more guitar in the last 4 weeks than in the last 6 months and as its directly replaced my facebook time im happy to say my feet are well and trully on real and solid ground. I still enjoy time online. However i know there is something sinister about facebook and it will be a detriment to your life, my advise is leave see how you go and post here how you feel, and it would be great to see in general how we all feel about it pros/cons etc and general stuff before i get back on here and rubbish it some more, cos ill be back.

a If you don't move you still breath micro-organisms. If you don't eat you disrupt the organisms in your body. You create skin flakes which in turn create new mites and life. No matter how pure you believe you are, that belief is firstly wrong, secondly false and thirdly conditioned. Karma is an offshoot of religion. Religion is a modified version of paganism, shamanism and nature. An eye for an eye is perhaps the oldest example of simple law. Karma is like eye for an eye but modified. Eye for an eye was replaced by compensation. For humanity to be more civil, retribution was modified. Money has established itself as a powerful tool. In a eye for an eye money had not yet become a motivating factor in great ways. Rewind back to paganism, karma is killing the killer. It is the simplicity of life itself that bore creation to equal and opposite. Water, fire, east west, man woman, night day, life death and even in modern life, electricity, magnetism, atoms..pretty much everything has n equal and opposite reaction, even a modern day scientific law dictates this. This is why rituals exist, sacrifices needed to be made. To balance the forces of nature. Mayby my definition of karma is balance. However the many ancient gods of our ancestors were replaced with the one god of modern religions. Why? Financial gain. Whether god be true or false you cannot control wealth, you cannot control power without centralization. Laws created, rules and perhaps even history. From here a fear of the wrath of god. A judging after your death. Heaven or hell. Importantly this keeps society from too much bad like murder and rapes, the law also based on everything beforehand and this helps modify human behavior. Karma really only is an ideal. It is based primarily on superstician, it has been modified to a distant remnant of law and now more a learned behavior. If karma is true then it works like this.....a murderer kills your son, you in turn kill the murderer, then you spend 20 years in jail. This shows that kalma cannot possibly be true. The father loses his son, his freedom and his life while the murderer gets the same as the son. Hence the only further way to explain away this imbalance was an afterlife, next life and so on. As this cannot ever go past theory really the only answer is science, the universe. In the universe matter is uniform, gaining losing, always remaining in balance. Perhaps true kalma exists as matter. When life intrudes into this balance, it imbalances the universe thus life is the actual death of the universe. Without life, there cannot be death. The universe is destroyed but it cannot lose or gain, merely go back to the start and recreate from the end. Still remains the chemicals needed for life within the universe and the universe will remain in balance for eternity, and that's what it takes but life always rebuilds. This is the balance of life. Perception of right and wrong is different to every form of life. The murderer who killed the son, is descended from a monkey that kills little monkeys. Does this mean that we should let the murderer off due to evolution. No it doesn't. Either way, life isn't fair. We can only try to be fair in a cruel world. However if you think that giving to the poor, stealing an apple, handing in a wallet or picking on a vulnerable person will balance out your life. Well done you are a nice person, but bad things happen to good people everyday.

Im happy to write. Been 3 years or so clean now. No issues, life goes on. Family in other parts of Australia. Send letter with stamp. I had 80 facebook friends. I now have the same 10 friends I had before facebook, strange that. The other 70...I struggle to remember them. I gather they don't remember me either. The strange thing is only my true friends contact me by other methods. Im happy and relieved and also enlightened by the knowledge that most friends are not friends. Simply we go through life and we connect with other people. That connection is usual circumstantial and somewhat forced. Like workmates. Sometimes a friendship, a true friendship is born of circumstance, but mostly out of the thousands we connect with, only a handful are worth the long term time and effort. I think that is a wonderful thing. In terms of a relationship with a true friend, all the normal factors of relationships need respecting. Trust, privacy, boundaries, respect, honesty and care. Absense also makes the heart grow fonder. The computer negates all these factors. Banking, shopping, buying, selling are all tasks well suited to the computer. Maintaining a healthy and functioning relationship with loved ones is not. I think that I am very happy to have cleansed myself from facebook. Everyday I meet new people, im not afraid to say hello and goodbye. 10 friends out of perhaps 100000 people I have met. If my maths is right 99.9% of people are merely just hello/goodbye. Why put an effort into what is the essential human condition. Connection is the modern word. Social networking.....it is not networking, it is social auto-misation. Seriously, he next time you add a friend, realize that 99.9% you are adding an aquantance. You are not connecting with people, a computer is connecting you, you are driving a car...that car is your friend. Your driving on cruise control. This is only 1 facet of life that I have highlighted, there are many many more. For myself the definition of lonely is facebook. I once strove for connection, when the connection is in the shake of a hand and the smell of a jumper. Don't be afraid to pull the plug, friendship is a natural thing. Like a garden if you get your hands dirty, you reap rewards. Computers can maintain certain basic functions and keep a garden alive for a while but they will never replace a heartbeat.

Could a default alternate like Australia be used for those with privacy issues. I don't, have had my location since dot but I see value in choice...a bit like the "not telling" as a default choice for sex.

Old thread. My guitar playing progress continues. Prolly been 3 years since I started and the whole point was my finger which you will be glad to know..fine. There was some points posted on learning by book or by ear. Of course the fundamentals of chord learning are essential but I kinda have done away with any mechanical type systems. ie books, you tube, lessons, tutorials. That's just the way I roll. The thing is...the guitar doesn't mean anything to me personally except really a toy. I have no desire for stardom, no desire to play in bands, no desire to wow my friends and no desire to copy a song note by note. If you do...great, all good. Everybody has a method unique to self and motivation varies from person to person. I suppose what im getting at is, well if you learn by the book, your copying the book. If you learn by ear then you write your own book and the brain isn't really required. I mean...is good guitar playing merely a stored memory ie ''smoke on the water" the memory song we all learn. For me guitar must be natural, fun, unthinking, unknowing, creation. Also im finding that a few days ago...I picked up the acoustic after 5 or so months of it collecting dust. Hadnt touched it in that time. You would naturally assume being rusty but its a strange happening that the break helped. It was like I had adjusted ear or something. I was heaps better. A break is good. Thismorning I sat there an cranked out my music. I use all my fingers. Im starting to hear the matching of sounds. The strumming is creating a rhythm, the fingers are flying around without thought but the sound is clear. The main thing is that I played a song nobody heard, and nobody will ever hear or hear again. It felt awesome. I have a long long way to go......if I was going somewhere. For me that somewhere is an illusion. It doesn't matter if your the best guitarist in the world, music is meant to be an illusion. An escape, and for a few minutes thismorning ...I played guitar, and I most importantly, forgot to think about doing it. Moral to that is, as I said above for total noobs. I believe, if the book works great...use it, but dont be stifled by mathematics music. Music was first created and then it was theorized over. And that's all there is to it. But ...negatively, playing by ear takes a lot longer, I believe. Which is why more will probably get lessons and so on, in a rush to copy...somebody elses music. Which is why, music is fairly repetitive in modern life.

Sometimes the negativity of the world can encroach on our lives. When this happens we forget the little things. I sometimes get upset and feel sorry for myself. Yet the world has a funny way of reminding us that via simple things life can be remarkable too. What simple things make you feel human, for example doing a gigantic POO. Being afraid to VOMIT and then once past the first heave wanting to do more. BLOWING in someones mouth. Watching a girl SQUIRT for the first time. Getting a SHIVER when deep down you feel like you have discovered something. A THUNDER storm. The birth of your first CHILD. I highlight the aspects in CAPITALS just to accentuate the feeling not to shout, but shout if you like. For me personally two things today that give me the best natural feelings are..... That first STRETCH in the morning. Like a cat does. Where your body kind of half voluntary/unvoluntary releases all the constriction and inertness of the nights sleep. OMG that feels great, feels almost like your going to break and your face makes a funny expression too and if yourlike me you probably go ummmmmgrrrrmmmmuuuaaa. I also like being hungry and that first swallow of food. And mainly on that first bite and swallow you can actually feel the food sliding down your throat and pipe to your stomach, it takes on a whole satisfaction of its own....unlike when just eating out of habit. You can actually feel it sliding down all the way. What about you.........?

Sure there is tax benifit but greed of individuals and corporations comes before tax. Education whilst it sounds grande doesnt solve the worlds problems. It just means more kids grow up into little shitheads that expect a 150k salary at 23yo for writing some kind of intelligent status report for some meandering company. Bullshit baffles brains. Greed will never be rewarded. If it is then it is founded on a very instable base. Never mistake marketing and advertising as intellingence, for truly it is your own stupidity.

Being proud of someone else. Walking in the rain in front of those who cower under shelter. Being the last person to arrive at a party and saying 100 hello's in 10 minutes. Getting a yes answer on some kind of important application.

I think its fairly easy. Its a negative term by definition alone. Anything can be emotive in both ways but a truck having a load is heavy, slower, under strain, harder to control and so on. Body load is the same. If shulgin meant otherwise or ambiguosly then thats probably his interpretation and is not 100% accurate. Sometimes i reply....cool man, but im not talking about a frozen person. Body load is undesired negative effects in its most simple derivitave.

I had a dream when asleep i bumped into a old friend called mustafa. I remembered him only just but when we recognised each other the memories came back of the experiences we shared. Old friends reunited. The memories didnt exist as i know them in reality, they were a subset all contained within my brain. Mustafa my long lost brain friend doesnt exist but he is a memory. It just spins me out that memories can be created without possibly even happening. Perhaps the weirdest thing although not exactly nice was a car rollover accident. This young man in his high power commodore must of fell asleep at the wheel. My mates and i were going surfing so we came across the wreckage at dawn. The car had rolled about 10 times and obviously we looked for the driver. The poor fella was completely torn to pieces and it was horrific. Arms and legs off and guts and brains everywhere. Then we realised we were seeing something else. I thought it was a pillow but it was a flattened pancake head. Terrible..and right at that exact moment the lightening flashed from an incoming storm and it lit up his eyes. Kind of like scary movie. I was about 22 and a hoon myself. But ever since that morning i have been a very safe driver. It was the horror of that morning that we all saw that changed me from a reckless youth to a responsible adult. They put all these kids today in simulators and hundreds of lessons. It should be compulsory to be taken through the morgue when getting a licence. It might be graphic but i think it would work to change the attitudes of alot of people.

The law is generally on the laws side. A lawyer will not understand this shaman law emotional stuff and also these newer laws being introduced. Any awareness media if they report on the case which is highly unlikely will be negative anyway. The fact is 99% of the population dont or wont care including the judge. Tell the truth. Say you were interested in meditation and researched traditional methods. At first that was the case but then evolved into horticulture. At the time you started this was and you still assumed legal. Plead guilty, show ignorance and stupidity. Move on with your life. Play the game or the game will play you.

AGORA I missed the first half an hour but i loved this movie. It was set in near Judea in about 400AD. Loosely it was the story of Hypatia a intelligent before her time mathemetician, astronomer, teacher, politician who made astronomical discoveries and ideas. Also the Christians, Jews, pagans and so all clashed for supremacy. In equal parts they would lay traps and stone each other in absolutely brutal scenes. Eventually, the Christians killed or ran everone out of town and then decided to go for the romans too. Eventually the whole story was a mixture of child friends, murder, acts of deception, politics, science, religion, human emotions finally culminating to the roman ruler getting a massive stone to the head, his friend the bishop playing mind games, eventually making the whole city kneel to christianity, The heroine Hypatia doomed herself by sticking to her morals, she knew she was going to die for it. She was captured and stripped naked, as they decided whether to skin or stone her a slave who loved her, that had raped her many years before of whom she showed mercy and set free came to her and suffocated her to spare her a cruel stoning pain death. As she dies, her last thought is the purity of the circle above her, purity and maths. It really made my night, loved it plus it was a true story. Enjoy.

My rivea was grown from seed and is roughly 3 to 4 y/o. I put some lattice up and ever since it has gone mental. It literally can grow a foot per day if not more when its on a spurt which is generally mid summer. I got flowers about 4 months ago but no seeds. Im not sure what that means as im not botanically minded but of course still fairly active in participation. I heard somewher they dont lay seed in Perth. Not sure where i heard that and what the biology of the plant is. Ie self seeder or it needs pollination etc. Would be great to know more about Perth grown or general rivea info that might be of interest.

http://www.shaman-australis.com/forum/index.php?showtopic=26929&hl=%2Bshaped+%2Bkhat easier said than done, to find it you would have to enter specific key words ie shaped khat, the forums here to answer questions young and old, not to be a geeks playground i believe. search engine smearch engine, its such a fickle search engine i primarily rely on memory. it the fact i remebered yogibear and f shaped, as i would never bother with utse. just goes to show humans still control the world.

robots on acid, now thats a thought for the future.

what it really shows is that the average person is too easily influenced. everyday ordinary people were tagging their workplaces with kony2012, now all you have to do is imagine you lived a thousand years ago and were called apon in one of the many ''great crusades''. basically kony is a minature crusade and it is relatively easy to brainwash people as it shows. fast forward a year and the same people who tagged kony2012 are probably buying share stock in african gold mines. religion, television, advertising, internet, facebook, twitter, coles and many and varied agencies and ideas are responsible for still brainwashing people today, basically if you believed in kony your an idiot. fast forward to whenever, i have absolutely no doubt that if another crusade was called apon, these same idiots would be marching across the planet in the name of whatever they think they believed in. occupy wall street was another example of that dumb, gang mentality and that is a shame.

its been happening since the beginning of life, big fish eat lttle fish, the rich control the poor, lie-steal-beg, eat or be eaten, you are who you are and theres nothing that can be done about it except accept life for what it is, if its unfair then unfortunately thats very unfortunate for you, is that my problem, mayby yes but there are 7 billion problems living in every human being right now on earth, its not fair but if the other 300 million sperm who didnt make it to the egg on time had voices they would probably have problems bigger than yours, fuck dept......it doesnt matter.

they have more than enough gold in fort knox and other places to balance the books and more, they have more than enough military gear to sell, more than enough resources and land, scientific knowledge to patent or thats sellable, silicone valley, sell a stake in antartica down the track, islands, reserves and so on. dept is just a figment of the imagination and something for normal slaves like you and i to worry about. USA's dept can go with a signature or two, nothing more or less. why worry about something thats out of our control and easily in theirs.

Just finished a post elsewhere which ended on death. i sometimes allow myself to look at my 38 year old hands looking more and more like i remember Pops, my first greys are through and i have to trim ear hair often now. 38. I know some elders would like to trade with me and some youngers cant imagine being that old but, everynow and again...if its quiet enough i can see a glimpse of it. Realistically i have already lived the greater half of my life and that makes me sad. Its an oldy but seriously....where did my life go. It happened so quick. Its amazing how much time is wasted, how many heart beats left in the countdown of life. Thump thump thump.....the sound of death edging closer and closer. I suppose eventually you come to terms with it. But especially right now, i really dont want to die. What will be my legacy if any at all. How long will i be remembered for. How will my child survive alone. But hey, its 2am on a thurs and there comes a useful time for melancholy. Its amazing when you come to terms with mortality, you regret the abuses you do to your body. Like overdrinking and neglect. Time completely wasted in the now and not in the least thought of buying 5 more years. I reckon the richest man in the world would spend his whole sum on an extra year if it could be bought. One more year to say goodbye to the house you grew up in, an old long lost friend, swim naked in the ocean, see one more sunrise, cry, laugh and finish your book. I sometimes ponder the songs to be played. I still well up when i recall my good friend, a kind man, suddenly pass away. I do not recall songs at other funerals but as he was lowered down, i took a last look at him going and for the first time ever my chin quivered. It was so sad that it hurt, but strangely the song which possibly triggered the emotional moment with its melancholy finality, now brings me alot of comfort. It helped and will live on, and when or if it is played my friend will be in my thoughts, and briefly he will be alive again. So add your two cents on your own mortality if you like. Yes its a negative downer of a subject but i believe its ok to occasionally think along those lines. Especially since facing death is a massive challenge we tend to repress. And....................all day, which made me think of this thread has been rotating in my head. I see my coffin lowering, and i MUST make people cry. Screw that happy thought crapola, i want tears. I know they will get on with life soon enough as is the way. So im gonna add my funeral lowering song first and the other pre lowering song second. Dont cry, ok you can cry (sniff sniff)