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_e_

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Posts posted by _e_

  1. Posted

    one of the last nails in the coffin for my 8mg a day rivotril prscrition was som rather embarassing occurrences of amnesia, sleep walking/talking (urinating) as well as an early morning fog whereby i would rgularly start going about my day naked and half awake....

    the mood and memory stuff was my primary initiative to begin withdrawals, but the increasing severe 'black outs' on a night out with the friends and a few vry embarassing and potntially dangrous occurrences late in the piece signed the 8 mth withdrawals contract.

    i found the story of the kickboxer re-arranging the neighbours living room/wall hangings rather humerous i must say!

  2. Posted

    There's a lot of weird shit that has been going on, and I am quite sure I don't know even the half of it.

    People seem so obsessed by money... for all the BS I've been through, (and this is just the very tiny, tip of it, believe me!) ... I deserve to be unbelievably wealthy. (as something of a small consolation!)

    On that note, I'm just starting a business and expect to make a lot of money with it... even in an economic downturn. I've had this vision for 10 years actually to do this, and have just been waiting for the right time. But money doesn't motivate me, anyone who knows me, knows I am driven by more essential drives than for plain ole cash.

    The people I know, the relationships I have, the plants I have access to, the experiences that I have in these spaces - you can't pay for that stuff and these are the most valuable things to me.

    Julian.

    I think this is perhaps your saving grace, the lifestyle of the wondering sage, whom may go through periods of abundance and may have to whether incredibly torurous injustices/hard times..... but this lifestyle is testament to yourself (and others whom live like you) arent in it for 'material' gains, but if they were then youd know about it.. because theres a fuckload of resonant energy out there as a result of the work.

    i sincerely hope that u are able to find some stability and real world 'physical/material assests' through utilising your journey thus passed.... it is somethingi have been aspiring to of late too!

  3. Posted · Edited by _e_

    e wrote:

    What I feel, E, is that personal grievances should remain personal grievances...

    What surprises me, is how commonly people simply just don't speak to the person involved (about something they feel is negative is them) and rather just go tell other people and then takes off and becomes something totally different.

    The funny thing is, I don't have a problem with people telling me their personal grievances with me, and I generally say, "this is why I was like that, and that what I thought, and this is why I did that... and you may not know about this and this" and so on and so forth, to the point where there is some mutual understanding.

    But people seem to often like to live in judgement, I've found when people do talk to me, their judgement generally ceases. So a lot of people prefer NOT to talk to me!

    But I am not restrained by people's sense of judgement, or restrained by what people think is appropriate or correct behaviour. (as MOST seem to be) and I know that pisses people off!

    I havent seen much personal grievences remaining personal in a long time.. if only it were the way... i wholeheartedly agree that it is about the individuals involved int he experience coming together and clarifying it rather then opther folks eneries coming in and making it messy. However it seems folks arent able to really to 'burst the bubble of silence' without individual energy/ideology dscrepencies that have been 'aged' accordingly... dont ask me why but it just seems the way it is, im constantly having to deal with inter-relationship friction and its ungodly manfestation from the years past because folks wonder off feeling jilted/jaded and fester and mutate the experience and my/your/our role in it.

    What surprises me, is how commonly people simply just don't speak to the person involved (about something they feel is negative is them) and rather just go tell other people and then takes off and becomes something totally different.

    what surprises me most is folks whom adamently go fishing for the slightest bit of 'ammo' against others in their own personal process and twist and misrepresent the communication to the point where it is made out that people whom are uite neutral or understanding of specific issues/topics are made out to be perpetrators and supporters of the 'witch hunt'.. to the point where the witch's confident is burnt not only by the hunters but by the witch themself. i think maybe in such cases it works both ways....

    i believe both at earthfreak, and when we had some troubles at my place, it was uite clear i was pissed off with the situation and angry with you....i didnt need to tlk to you anymore then i did... my message was conveyed via my body language and our interactions and the energy between us following said experiences, really took the matter as far as i was willing to/capable of taking it given the context of the situation.. i Really feel in these instances that that was all that was needed, and given that i made peace with it almost over night, having known and supported you for so long, and knowing that:

     

    its not my fault I appear this way, its just the way I appear!

    I was merely utilsing the examples of how, when ur all fired u and on a mission, (which seems to dominate the time we share) there comes time of intencity in that process where it appears that peoples toes are stepped on in your big footed oafish tryptamine missionary style. (and i see our interactions as perhaps a microcosm of that which u have been struggling with on the macro)

    thankfully i got big oafish tryptamine toes as well, just maybe not so much missionary, so ive never taken it to heart, nor held onto such experiences for too long.

    the comment RE ur smoking of dmt was aimed at whomever it was that said dmt use leads to over inflated ego/illusions of grandeur e.t.c.... and i thought ud smoked far less then 100 times.... as i remember a conversation about the fact id smoked very little but felt very little desire to smoek anymor ein that "it seems i have gotten the message for now and there is no need to re-visit the sapce once u 'get it')

    The funny thing is, I don't have a problem with people telling me their personal grievances with me, and I generally say, "this is why I was like that, and that what I thought, and this is why I did that... and you may not know about this and this" and so on and so forth, to the point where there is some mutual understanding.

    But people seem to often like to live in judgement, I've found when people do talk to me, their judgement generally ceases. So a lot of people prefer NOT to talk to me!

    But I am not restrained by people's sense of judgement, or restrained by what people think is appropriate or correct behaviour. (as MOST seem to be) and I know that pisses people off!

    I remember when i first met you and for a while afterwards i was uite intimidated by you and your sense of self certainty seemed to over-ride my ability crticise you when i saw/felt something i didnt agree with. I can imagine this may well be the case with people who, havent had the opportunity to see you as a big fluffy cuddly (if not slightly crazy) jim henson bumble bee creation. yopur sense of determination, ur physical statutre and the pervading sense of self certainty must create a bit of a problem in communicating with folks.

    You seem to think I am extreme... I don't feel that way at all... I feel like actually I'm actually being sane and responding to circumstance in a natural and straightforward way.

    we live in crazy times that call for desperate measures, and of course i think ur extreme and intense and i think a lot of people would agree that their experiences with you have been at time spushing the limits of human experience.... i dont have a problem with that, its just not something id expect lots of folks to understand or be comfortable with... it took me a little while and at times yeah sure i need a break from it... but such is life and changing the world one particle at a time.

    And I think people in this country are so slack and overcome by lassitude in regards to these issues, I think that people like me and Reptyle are actually counterbalancing this primary disinterest and inability to sacrifice anything for a greater cause than themselves

    and when/if u guys got cut down and were unable to continue your work, there would be a bunch of low lying ninja folks already tinkering away to make sure that the work continues.... so like i say "we all have our role" i jsut dont think that you saying that ur willing to go to jail, and expose it to the level where others are at a much higher risk, means u can walk around saying "if u dont do as i do your chicken shit and not standing up to your beliefs".

    Trust me when i say there are a lot of people doing a lot of work (in so many different fields) to bring about massive change... and we are all working towards this (some with little or more vigour, i think its cyclic personally).

    but yeah, it does seem a bit soap box/superiority complex to think that you know what is best for everyone and to declare that is people dont do as you and reptyle then we are 'chicken shits'.

    the work must go on, and how can it if everyone is in gail or prevented by various means from doing so. ?

    (and sorry but i dont think the martyre scenario uve been tlking about for years now is constructive and progressive.... unless everysingle person stood up at the same time.. which is what lots of folks are working towards!)

    :wub::wink:

  5. Posted

    if ur not willing to put the plant in the ground, but want maximum growth, place makeshift tyre pot on worked soil, with a layer of roadbase/blue metal on the surface, and have the entire bottom of the 'pot' missing, so your planting into the soil but still with a pot around it.

    when i wnat to move just cut off roots by working soil around underneath tyre/pot.

    allowing for that root growth will give u maximum growth, and cutting the roots back for moving is less of a worry then having it root bound.

    just my way of doing it... have done it with cuttings and styrofoam boxes as well. (but just cut massive holes in the base not removed the entire base.

  7. Posted

    Thanks for that.

    Apartheid sucks, there's no doubt about it. It should be condemned in Israel just as it was in South Africa. Blind sympathy for some of the atrocities committed in WW2 has gone too far and is now perpetuating many modern day horrors and wars with more surely on the way.

    There needs to be a change in attitude.. In fact some serious mental deprogramming on a mass scale before it's too late and we're dragged into another war (probably with Iran).

    best thign ive read from you in this post! :wink: spot on

  8. Posted · Edited by _e_

    san pedro or peyote without a doubt, smoking cigars made of the flowers, and chillums(With opium if in pain) leading up to my passing whilst sitting in somekind of stream/river/hotspring, drinking agwa and benedictine the whole way through, and smokng a combination of free base ketamine,dmt and crack (FrAcK) at that particular pre death moment.

    then coming out of the peak of the smoked experience jsut enough to smile and the travel in and out on the mescaline.

    (i know im gonna cop shit for this) but that would honestly be my ideal way to go out

  9. Posted

    hows that doubled headed split/roseii twin!

    those pics are phenomenal. love ot see what my validus and rosee look like so i can compare.

    to mee it looks liek a lto of the older plants could do with maintenance, cutting away scaled/scared limps and cultivating the fresh tips and offshoots and trading the central/scarred material.

    please let me know if u intend on/can organise the following.

    i have seen plants of similiar size (doubtfully age) be trimmed back one fifth. (and actually improve gigour and asthetic appeal not to mention the cultivation potential!)

  11. Posted

    Since flowers are the peak of plant expression (everything expresses itself very vividly when it wants to reproduce), flower essences can also help you get to know a plant (ie. it's preffered growing conditions, it's evolutionary path, it's medicinal properties etc.) especially when an essenc is used in combination with trance techniques.

    I have previously only been familiar with the Bushflower essence technique (essentially running water over a living flower). As is my understanding, the Bach technique sacrifices the more subtle vibrations (which I assume are lost in the process of killing the flower) for the advantage of being able to keep the flower in water for a longer period of time.

    What are people's thoughts on this?

    perhaps dunking the cacti flowers would be the way to go... just walking plant to plant dunking pollinating eually?

    and yeah my understanding was that when a plant flowers it is at its most 'ripe and expressive' .

    both the essences i made, the passiflora and the grandfather acacia werr used during ceremony with some very humbling and empowering feedback.

    as julian mentioend above, often i have used local crystal, seed pods, fresh flowers and fallen flowers in the essences (but never the phyllodes/ leaves in the case of passiflora)

    however i didnt dilute any of my essences down more then once from the mother essence... and often did 7, 11, 13 or 23 drops (heheh sorry julian i know u got the 7 thing going on, it jsut felt righ at the time like intuitive dosing)

  12. Posted · Edited by _e_

    Yeah i just got the vibe the consensus was that there was a presumtion of somekind of hidden agenda of profiteering from dmt.

    Why don't you just come out and say it Julian, what you call "valid non-violent protest" the rest of us call selling drugs for a profit, and would be a lot happier to accept your position of spiritual mandate if you weren't asking for more than a few "millimetres of fingernail" for every dose. Vice versa, most of us probably would have no problems with the selling if you would stop pretending like you are gifting manna from the heavens to the poor unwashed and ignorant masses.

    in my above post i too have bcome too personal in my dialogue, which is sort of what i was accusing you and sina of doing in many respects.. guess its the nature of the mode of communication that emotional aspects that would b delt with in a face to face interaction interfere with the clear communication.

    my recounts of experience are i guess a (microcosm) of what might be tlked about here in regards to the (macrocosm) of the community and the issues being raised. (i dunno.. maybe?)

    A powerfull determined and extremely effective tryptamine giant whos focus and determination sometime leads to some of us littler folks getting a bit mixed up in the wake. like when ur quietly fishing and a massive boat goes flying past you and you get all uppetty "those friggin wakeboarders, no respect. e.t.c." but really they are jsut doing what they are doing and because its whats right for them in that moment. (although personally i prefer the tranquility of sitting in a tiny with a beer and a couple of lines in the water catching up with old friends.... im jsut not made for wakeboarding or any such high octane intense full throttle adrenaline pumped activities)

    IF liken it to somekind of cartoon with julian being the shrek of trypamines, storming around throwing magick "get free potions" with other little elvin/make believe characters running round going "no no dont bump that, and , oh hell hes gone and broken the evil faeiry godmothers wand, now we are all in for it" e.t.c.

    Whats done is done so (j) im sorry for bringing up the past, im sure a lot of it is redundant now... i was jsut trying to communicate that you seem to have very extreme concepts and your actions match that, despite the environmental context at the time... and personally, and i guess for others also, it seems like your self certainty and 'drive' doesnt neccessarily allow for the rest of us, whom are of the same intention and goal and aspiration, but just not acting to the same degree of hyperspace acceleration... and in many cases it seems we are left with no other choise then to go with YOUR programme, even when it may not be exactly the right programme for us IN THAT PARTICULAR MOMENT...

    and sina, i never thought id cross words with you n a forum, its jsut that u know how friggin upset all dennis's villanising of me has made me, and also i know it was even worse with julian.. and i know u guys are bestest of pals... i just hoped that u were able to form your own perspective on it all and not get TOO personal (as u have been able to do so with me)

  13. Posted

    from what i could tell u havent really smoked that much dmt have u julian? more just the ayahuasca?

    one thing id like to pipe up about is that:

     

    Many, many people want to believe I'm a "bad" guy or whatever they want to believe... but almost nobody comes up and talks to me and finds out for themselves, and what I experience is this absolutely damaged receptivity in the Australian culture. i.e. people don't seem to be able to ask questions and be receptive to what someone has to say, and would rather make their own uninformed judgements and assumptions.

    seems to be widespread throughout the community.. almost akin to some form of old school withhunt/superstition... mostly i feel fear projections/shadow resemblances.

    >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

    i have too many points of contention admiration and agreement with the main players in this conversation, and also love you all equally and dearly as you have enriched my lives and given me guidance and support more then most people could imagine... it is very hard for me to go through and pick out what i do and dont agree with from each of your posts....

    however i will say this:

    i am quite humbled by the fearless attitude julian and reptyle have had towards confronting the 'powers that be', however it also frightens me....

    its sort of like suicide/messianhic complex in that whilst u may feel/think it to be a completely selfless act, it is in many ways quite selfish and ego based (my claim to fame) in that it it risking and taking liberties with the wellbeing of those around you.... whom either might not be ready for such extremes, or jsut downright disagree with the approach to dealing with the situation.

    I think perhaps julian this has been one main concern that i have witnessed (and felt to some degree at specific times) that you are so sure of yourself, that you have it all figured out, that u are willing to take some pretty serious risks that dont ONLY effect you; therby taking liberties with other peoples space/energy/process.

    Whilst i know u have nothing but the best intentions, i feel it is up to every individual to decide when and if they are ready to take that 'next step'... and also just because u have reached a state of 'enlightenment' doesnt (in my perspoective) mean that other peoples states of consciousness are inferior and or less 'enlightened'..

    We all have our paths to walk and roles to play, and i think what roughs most people up is that u seem somewhat unaware at times of other peoples process/state of being, to almost a point of neglect whereby u over-ride their path or neglect your influence on them, because you are convinced u know better, or simply unaware/emotionally detatched.

    This is a very rushed and scattered post, but yeah, its just what im feeling and thinking in the moment..

    it has seemed at times that you get so caught up in your own personal process that u become unaware of the fragility of those around you or the need for subtlety and tact. (im going to use ariel having a pyschotic breakdown in our tent at earthfreq, and the night i dfound out my dad was in jail for delliberatly almost killing my brother as reference points here).

    I personally can see this in you because i recognise it as one of my own traights when i get too 'caught up in myself'.

    Also Sina, i think perhaps you are swayed a little too much by dennis and Torstens and maybe even my conversations with you on this matter, your posts seems far too personal given that from what i can tell you and julian have had minimal interactions. Ad i know how long and viciously dennis has played a part in villanising J, and also me.

    Ok thats my putting my head int he bucket of shit for now... but pleas eunderstand i totally agree with 99.9% of the points people are making here, just .1% of disagreement with some of the extremeties of how they are being communicated/represented and acted out.

    oh and T, your a stubborn grudge bearing bastard if ever i knew one, but ultimatly as i have said about julian i agree with most of what your saying it just seems to get a little too personal/gripey... it might just be the german/blunt way you communicate i dont know...

    and all three of you give the best hugs ever :wub:

    am a sovereign being whose focus is in evolving the evolutionary paradigm on this planet. I am not interested in harming anyone, or causing anyone suffering - only healing, only communicating resonantly.

    I refute the present laws as inhibitive, fear based and controlling a consciousnss which actually wants to be emancipated.

    AMEN to that!

    and u know ive always been down for a book and doco!

    (p.s if u read back through your posts there is a bunch of self contradictory statements... yes dmt is awesome and should be available to everyone, but there are definatly risks and dangers involved in its use.. and yes it should be freely available but at the same time people need to work for it so they have the relevent understanding and knowledge to be able to work with it properly... and there is fuck all financial reciprocation for dmt production given the cost and man hours involved.... it has always been more of a self sacrafice for the cause... barely sustainaing ones lifestyle does not in my books count asd being a 'profiteer')

    ok enough brain dribble for now.

    plant lov.e

  14. Posted

    I think people who dabble in any of the three things I've listed above should make an effort to ensure the source of their enjoyment is not coming from Criminal organistaions not the easiest I know but it is possible and something I think that needs to be considered by anyone who deems themselves a responsible user

    this would be my answer to those problems...

    hydro is pretty much green heroine, and from what ive heard recently commercial bush operations are more lucerative to some bikie gangs then meth.

    i was refferring specifically to non synthetic psychedelics/entheogens... in my experience the only REAL acid and md has come from conscious individuals whom know what they are doing.

    everythign else seems totally inferior and not worth the time or braincells (in my experience)

  15. Posted · Edited by _e_

    Even better yet, why not take this awareness and align integrate with the Interfaith Church movement, they are popping up all over the place, heres one example interfaith church.interfaith christians

    it seems we have common grounds and vision, and surely theres rooms amongst all those religions uniting for shamanism/new world entheogenica.

    And membership may well serve us well legally as well?

  18. Posted · Edited by _e_

    i have been involved in the entheogenic underground since i was 14 (half my life)

    i have had an interest in organised crime/mafia e.t.c since i was in my late teens, because i was/am disgusted at the influence amphetamines, heroine, alcohol and ciggerrettes has on our society, and also purely because i find the 'primal/tribal/family' criminal psychology of organised crime fascinating.

    It is commonly acknowledged that the WAR ON DRUGS is in fact a self perpetuating cycle of corruption, inefficiency, and hypocrisy.

    in mr 14 years of involvement with plant based hallucinogens and synthetic psychedelics (entheogens) i have never:

    *encountered a single fatality as a result of hallucinogens/psychedelics/ENTHEOGENS

    *encountered violence perpetuated by or the result of 'business dealings' involving these substances.

    *encountered individuals whose sole income is based on the production of, supply, or distribution of these substances.

    *encountered *powder money and guns* or * drug facillitated assets*

    there is not a lot of money to be made in plants/psychedelics, there are very few, if any, whos soul income relies on them; there is no serious physical harm in their use, and no evidence for serious violent/antisocial behaviour resulting from their use or circulation amidst mainstream society.

    In fact, in my 14 years of involvement in this community, and at certain periods in my life the more 'serious' underground 'big wigs of psychedelia', i have in fact witnessed the following:

    *people gaining better health and healing as a result of psychedelics in their life

    * 'business dealings' that have an incredibly low profit margin, most often to the detriment of those facillitating the production and distribution of psychedelics (perhaps this changes when it gets to the level of street suppply e.t.c due to all the mixed bag business on this level, which is more then likely)

    *encountered any kind of 'psychedelic mafia' or organised crime that even slightly associates with psychedelics (see above)

    *individuals and families whom regularly risk their own safety freedom and overall welbeing in order to facillitate what they truly believe to be a beneficial process to society/culture and humanity as a whole...

    *there are no powder money and guns involved with the psychedelic/entheogenic community, is anything their is never more then 'personal' amounts of recreational drugs.

    *PSYCHEDELICS ARE NOT BY NATURE RECREATIONAL!

    we dont do this for fun, we do this because it is something that NEEDS to be done, and is the most part to the benefit of our sick society/ "civilisation"

    *psychedelics and entheogens actually cure/treat serious drug addiction and anti social/unhealthy behaviour on a regular basis.

    THIS IS MINE AND MANY OTHERS EXPERIENCES/INSIGHTS

    Given the above, how is it that our community and the individuals that it is made up of warrent being treated like criminals?

    IT is a blatent waste of the australian tax payers money, and a neglectfull misappropriation of resources that the REAL criminals have even the slightest attention drawn off them whilst the ACC and other specialised drug investigation units focus on us!

    yes there are a lot of us, but nowhere near as many mainstream commercial drug users/dealers/manufacturers...

    And we are friendly! the most heated it ever gets between us is some internet rants and quite mediocre social friction.

    We are willing to and regularly make self sacrafices based on what we believe is our own god given right, and is in the best interest of humanity as a whole; and the criminals u dump us in with are doing whatever the fuck they want/feel the need to do (to the most horrible extremes) for what THEY WANT.

    Whomever u are out there on our case, you are wasting your time, your oganisations time, and taxpayers money preying on a community of people for the most part can be generalised as pascifists, social introverts/fringe dwellers and activists for the enrichment/healing of humanity.

    plant lov.e

  19. Posted

    very interesting thread...can I ask does the plant have to be psycho active to capture its essence..

    H.

    definatly not!

    the original bach essences were basically just bach going round and doing an essence and then saying "this plant is used specifically for.... and ...."

    however these days whilst traditional 'bach' model flower essences still exist, their are two fields of essence work:

    -those that state that a certain species gives a certain result, no matter where or when,

    -and those that are essence specific, i.e recognizing individual plants/essence workers, and the resultant essence.

  20. Posted · Edited by _e_

    from my understanding and experience of what has been called "intuitive shamanic essences", cacti flowers would be moon essences; ive been wanting to travel to south america to do just this!

    my approach would be:

    pluck flower(s) at the setting of sun and place somewhere near the plant with ritual objects, u could use numerology and communication with the plant to determine how many flowers, and for how many nights it is to sit with the plant (but generally one full exposure/night would be fine).

    you would then wrap the essence so it didnt get exposed to uv light, and energise it under the moonlight, perhaps even for an entire moon phase.

    i employ crystals and neo/geo mancy in my essence work, just basically utilising sacred space/symbols/geometry and ritual implements and being open to whatever intuitive mesages i get from the plant and the process. then try to project the message(s)/information that comes to me into the essence. i.e what the plant has to share/what its particular nature is, what it has to share with humanity, and what i have learned personally in the process.

    i had some of my obtusifolia essence at a party and i gave to someone on the edge of the dancefloor and he came up to me later and said "wow man this stuff is incredible, but i didnt know dmt was orally active"...

    I try to be as clear and focused as possible when making an essence (which is why its beena few years now hehehe) and have actually climbed waterfalls to capture water for each individual bottle.

    good luck, it is a very enjoyable process. let me know if u want anymore ideas, but ideally its a personal journey of discovering a new way to interact/communicate with plants and share that experience!

    (u can use high quality spirits instead of water for the mother tincture, ideally stuff you have distilled yourself, but i would preference a combination of the freshest most vital water you can find in the best xtal vessell u can find.... to me its about capturing or transferring the 'frequency' of energy and information within the plant)

  22. Posted

    Because of the unique problems presented by the ethnoreligious nature of being Jewish, don't you think it would be more useful to stop saying Jew, and use the term Zionist instead? Do you see how this would move it away from a race issue and towards an ideological one?

    WRD!

  23. Posted

    for a while there i would have considered myself rascist because i hated americans and america so much....

    i still cringe at the stupidity and ignorance of the majority of the americans i meet/see on t.v e.t.c, but i have found compassion and understanding.. even for mr bush.

    however it became apparent a long time ago that israel was pulling serious strings in the background.

    im not an anti semite and i dont have anything against jews on the whole, but i do sense that much of 'evil' that america has perpetrated has been pupeteered or at least co-conspired with israeli/zionist influences.

    in most cases i go with the underdog.. and in most cases this makes me a palestinian/arab sympathiser.

    The u.s is actively raping the world, with help from many different beneficiaries, including us, however it is rare that a nation/movement/whatever has actually had the upper hand on the US.

    The UN cant stop them, but israel can seduce/lure/pressure them into it... this is scary!

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