Alchemica

If I get the chance, I'll grab you some. I think it's easy enough to get decent effects with the cheap powder but it's not as 'in' as having Peruvian ceremonial grade cacao I did a lot of experimenting with Cacao. It seems quite a useful medicine particularly for cognitive stuff, and in the shorter term as a mood lift. I was playing around with lots of fermenting and other things trying to boost effects but in the long run, simple seems best. Some popular blends were Sceletium, Saffron and Cacao and a few others The β-carbolines are so common in foods as they form in condensation reactions between tryptophan and carbonyl compounds/breakdown products of sugars, which condense in a Pictet-Spengler reaction (often undergoing decarboxylation on roasting). Practically fermenting and roasting many foods will form some (and this seems to be their origin in Cacao), the main ones that seem to be often seen are (nor)harman, which results in measurable MAO-A inhibition from repeated coffee drinking, and tobacco use, which likewise results in significant MAO-A inhibition over long-term use "coffee is the most important exogenous source of these alkaloids in addition to cigarette smoking." [1].

This area has been of interest to me in the past, even though I'm not into bioassaying these days. Here's a literature review and some research mammillaria | PDF Host

It's pretty hard to get efficacy matching benzodiazepines IMO, even if the plant-based options retain some efficacy in treating symptoms. Also, if there's GABAergic tolerance through use of pharmaceutical GABAergics or drinking etc in prior history, most of these can seem comparatively mild/insufficient. Also, I wouldn't even consider relying on them for serious medical conditions eg seizure control I've in the past tried to rank subjective potency (which considering all my brain has been through shouldn't be taken as representative of normal) of some here as anxiolytics (note: not all GABAergic MoA): Lemon balm < Lower dose Passiflora < Lower dose skullcap < Zizyphus seed < Hops = Valerian < Oral lavender oil 80-160mg = lower dose kava = low dose CBD < Erythrina mulungu < Higher dose 25g+ Passiflora < CBD 600mg + < Higher dose skullcap < High dose kava. In general the flavonoid GABAergic plants can seemingly have some decent GABAA mediated therapeutic effects but often without the abuse potential seen with BZDs eg baicalin That said, sometimes maintaining efficacy can be challenging with such and I can't say that the flavonoid GABAergics tend to have the "enjoyable" nature of BZDs There seems to be distinction between seeking actual symptom reduction eg. anxiolysis vs. desiring inebriation that can make people who enjoy GABAergics dismiss some plant options IMO Then there's things like tetrahydropalmatine which through non-GABAergic mechanisms seems to have potent muscle relaxing activity

No rest for fiends like me I've tried to compile lots of my research into a website for anyone who's bored out of their brains/curious. Alchemica's Research Lair - Phytopharmacology (site123.me)

It's said by some including herbalistics to be "valued as highly as S. tortuosum in Southern Africa by different tribes and makes a very good Kougoed product". and I vaguely remember Torsten (but don't quote me) making mention of it not really mattering if you grow emarcidum vs tortuosum. Personally, there's something nicer about tortuosum but my brain isn't a good test subject. Phytochemically, it seems the emarcidum is 4'-O-demethylated mesembrine-type alkaloids (phenolic alkaloids) over the parent mesembrine-type alkaloids. It seems to root up a lot easier from cuttings, grows quickly and grows a lot easier in many climates. That said, some people have fermented up emarcidum and not noted much effect but even tortuosum can be hit and miss with some people. Yeah I have varied success with different cuttings at the best of times but good to hear what's worked for you.

My botanical nomenclature probably sucks but that's just to distinguish it from the common hybrids that often get sold as Aptenia cordifolia (eg red flowered varieties). This is the one (sets seed too)

Don't think I have any M. crystallinum seed left from when I grew it and I found it hard to propagate from cuttings as it's so fleshy but it's pretty easy to grow from seed so I'd personally just grab some cheap seeds eg Ice plant seeds | The Seed Collection

Nice summary, well done. As another area that's been researched (and patented): We also see immunological benefits, ultra-potent blockade of proinflammatory markers like TNF-α at pM levels (sub-psychoactive doses) with some 5-HT2AR agonists like (R)-DOI which is promising on many levels, it plays a key role in inflammation, its production and signaling contribute to many inflammation related diseases. TNF-α and TNF-α receptor-mediated inflammatory pathways have been strongly implicated in a number of diseases including atherosclerosis, rheumatoid arthritis, psoriasis, type II diabetes, irritable bowel syndrome, Crohn's disease, and septicemia (e.g., Reimold, 2002; Popa et al., 2007; Williams et al., 2007). Significantly, TNF-α and other cytokine induced inflammatory pathways also have been linked to psychiatric conditions such as depression and bipolar disorder (Dunn et al., 2005; Kim et al., 2007), as well as schizophrenia (Saetre et al., 2007), and neurodegenerative diseases like Alzheimer's and Parkinson's disease and stroke (Tweedie et al., 2007). US9642819B2 - Low dosage serotonin 5-HT2A receptor agonist to suppress inflammation - Google Patents

Either overexpression of 5-HT2Rs with increased binding density or an altered regional expression of 5-HT2s seems to be common. There are polymorphisms of the 5-HT2A gene that can lead to changes in the density of those receptors but it more likely seems to be a complex interplay of genetics, environment and life-experiences that shape such an outcome [1]. There's likely epigenetic effects where adverse trauma could be transmitted transgenerationally, leading to an impact on, in part, the serotonin system. Not easily, it would likely only be if you're part of a special research study such would be possible Depending how potent an antagonist it is of the 5-HT2A receptor. Often as a "washout" a period of greater than 5 half-lives is used to estimate the practically total elimination of a drug and the cessation of it's pharmacological effects "Starting from a steady state, 5 half-lives will remove 97% or a drug; whereas 10 half-lives will remove 99.9% of a drug"

Things like ketanserin have been used as 5-HT2AR antagonists to block/attenuate the 'psychotomimetic' effects of psychedelics but interestingly, the combined effects of a 5-HT2AR antagonist and classical hallucinogens seems to retain some of the therapeutically beneficial effects ie antidepressant and some neural effects [1] so it's likely there would be attenuation of the hallucinogenic effects by sandomigran, particularly with a less potent agonist like mescaline (cyproheptadine which is related is OTC and probably would do the same). Similarly, olanzapine with decent affinity to 5-HT2ARs (along with D2Rs) seems to be used by some as an antipsychotic 'trip kill' [2] and is often conventional medicine's go to, to attenuate a bad trip/psychotic reactions. That said other schools of thought suggest the trip should not be aborted with such and instead benzodiazepines used as an anxiolytic to support a less anxiety-provoking reaction and social support be used more. Mescaline is quite a 'shotgun' pharmacologically, with diverse binding profiles aside from 5-HT2 agonism ie adrenergic affinity etc. The stimulant effects from adrenergic etc activity might be somewhat attenuated by the antihistaminergic activity of sandomigran. ie Mescaline has strong affinity [3] to 4.00 Alpha2C, 3.97 5ht2b, 3.61 5ht1a, 3.44 Imidazoline1, 3.16 5ht1e, 2.92 Alpha2A receptors much more so than 5-HT2ARs.' Serotonin antagonists particularly 5-HT2 antagonists seem to be used in depression (think things like mirtazapine, which has that as a partial mechanism of action) as antagonism of the 5-HT2 receptor can have some pro-dopaminergic effects. Similarly, there are some PET studies linking depression and suicidality to overly high densities of 5-HT2 receptors, and it is thought one of the therapeutic effects of 5-HT2A agonists on depression (so too SSRIs) is to downregulate the excessively dense level of 5-HT2Rs, a similar outcome can be achieved through 5-HT2 antagonism. The density (Bmax) of 5-HT2A receptors was significantly higher (by 39%) in depressed patients than in controls. Suicidal patients had significantly higher Bmax values than controls or non-suicidal patients. [4] Not personal experience but I've heard of people using feverfew which has some evidence base for use. You might want to consider such.

Wondering if anyone has personally used AI (DALL-E etc) to portray the more 'uplifted'/transcendent levels of consciousness or unfolding of spiritual transformations, personal spiritual insights etc, particularly if you're art inept like me? Be keen to see what you've generated via such if you have played around with such, it almost gives a creative visual outlet for portraying such to those who are normally verbosely language-tied in their worldviews Here's some of my attempts

Aptenia cordifolia (A Zulu traditional medicine) Please note: this plant contains oxalates. While it may be safe in the right doses and prepared correctly, please do not use medicinally unless you are skilled in using it. But you can grow it! This is a plant that got me through real dark times. Today I give a plant to a "Grow Free Box". I found after fermentation ca. 15g was active and antidepressant with a different quality, more groundedly hearty than Kanna. It was really nice, so much so I made a full spectrum ethanol extract of the fermented material. "Aptenia cordifolia is a species of succulent plant in the iceplant family known by the common names heartleaf iceplant and baby sun rose. Native to southern Africa, this species has become widely known as an ornamental plant." Growing Aptenia cordifolia Aptenia cordifolia is a well-known groundcover. It is an ideal plant for coastal gardens as it tolerates sea spray and grows in sandy soil. It can be used in rockeries or outcrops, terraced slopes and along roadside embankments. It requires full sun or semi-shade; it can be planted underneath trees. If grown in unfavourable conditions, the plant will die. Aptenia cordifolia is easily grown from seed and cuttings. Sow seed in summer. The plant can be divided and runners can be planted directly into the ground. Before planting, prepare the garden bed by digging over the soil; add compost and a slow-release fertilizer. Once established it requires less water. Trim or prune the plant to maintain its shape. The plant can become weedy. Aptenia's Medicine: Aptenia cordifolia is used medicinally as an anti-inflammatory, as a dressing (poultice) and deodorant. The plant is also used as a love and good luck charm. Zulu medicinal uses include making a mild enema for babies; the black powder is used for vaccination and against witchcraft (sorcery). Burnt stems and leaves are applied to aching joints. "Aptenia cordifolia is used by Zulu healers in S. Africa as one of their important medicinal plants. The leaves may be infused to relieve sore throat and perspiration; the herb is also anxiolytic, and acts as an antiinflammatory when applied externally.Interestingly, a black powder prepared from the plant is reputedly endowed with magical properties, and used to protect against sorcery (Van Wyk & Gericke 2000, Van Wyk et al. 1997) Prepared in the same manner as Sceletium spp., this common and attractive ornamental plant has been found to have similar effect to S. tortuosum, but is of lower potency (pers. comms.)... The plant contains mesembrine-type alkaloids which have antidepressant effects through serotonin and other pathways and may be superior to SSRIs currently used to treat depression. Aptenia cordifolia may contain significant levels of mesembrine-type alkaloids, as compared to other Aizoaceae, though still only 13.6% of the levels found in Sceletium tortuosum. Mesembrine [c. 9.7% of the extract], 4'-O-demethylmesembranol [c. 14.4% of extract] and three unidentified compounds were observed; 2 of these, comprising c.4.8% of the extract, appear to be indoles (Smith, M.T. et. al. 1998)" It is worth considering that perhaps some of the alkaloids identified by Smith et al. as being present in Aptenia samples (4’-Odemethylmesembrenol, mesembrine and mesembrenone) may have been mis-identified, more recent analysis presence of the mesembrine-type of mesembrane alkaloids 4,5-dihydro-4’-O-methylsceletenone and 4’-O-methylsceletenone [1] The phytochemical screening of the ethanolic extract of the leaves of A. cordifolia, which was a strong antiinflammatory, revealed the presence of alkaloids, flavanoids, tannins, phenols, saponins and steroids. Aside from mesembrine-type alkaloids and unidentified indole alkaloids, ferulic acid, 3,4-dimethoxy-dihydrocinnamic acid were isolated as well as the corresponding Me and Et esters respectively. Also identified were pinoresinol and syringaresinol, respectively. Oxyneolignans such as apteniol G were discovered. It's listed as a 'safe plant' on databases and suggested as being safe for consumption by multiple sources.

Been trying to find answers to whether Bobinsana bark should be treated as a potential MAOI due to possible β-carbolines or if the modern guides are correct in stating: Here's some very preliminary TLC results and a write-up Bobinsana.pdf Note: The initial UV fluorescent band was only visible with one wavelength light and a more typical UV light failed to show it, contrary to more common β-carbolines which were strongly visible If anyone has input that would be appreciated.

My white sage has gotten to a decent size. Let me know if anyone can use free white sage - I tend to bundle it into smudge-thingos but can do loose leaf etc

Thanks for the interest. All done for now.

Have two spare baggies of fresh D bosseranum I can put in an envelope no cost for interested people (No WA/Tas) First two to get in contact - will send ASAP The phytochemistry of this plant is from my understanding unknown but some find it superior to the Sceletiums While some find Sceletium to be "short acting, created anxiety and far too much stimulation", one preliminary report using D. bosseranum "two days of relief from my depression was over. It was a totally transparent experience that was all me. No depressive crash after this was over. It was like being lifted out of depression on angel wings, and just as gently dropped off back in my normal state of being two days later." D. bosseranum is currently used in a similar way to Sceletium species (Kanna/Kougoed), the unfermented dried tuber is used, as well as the fermented whole plant (aerial and underground parts together). [herbalistics]

Can now offer quite a few free larger plants if anyone's interested:

Thanks for sharing. I've found the same for lots of botanicals, oddly if I request something like a Trichocereus flower or plant sometimes something comes back that's passible. Putting in things like 'Sceletium tortuosum' was no good but more broadly 'Mesembryanthemum' sort of worked.

I feel the succulent dimension holds an interesting element in potentially having more therapeutically useful "in the real world" dimensions than more commonly touted plant medicines for their often more gentle but occasionally empathogenic edge. Also, the combination of often pro-cognitive (PDE4 inhibition seen with mesembrine-type alkaloids) with potent antidepressant effects meets an unmet demand. Part 1: Background and 'citizen analysis' using readily available materials Some Aizoaceae have been analysed [1]: I wanted to see if it was feasible to get some rough idea of the phytochemistry of a plant using only readily available materials eg. making it suitable for citizen science. I've been curious about simple TLC and paper chromatography as tools, particularly how feasible 'citizen TLC analysis' of plants is using a suitable paper, readily available solvent systems and simple visualisation techniques, compared to more conventional TLC. Can simple maceration of a medicinal plant in a readily available benignish solvent, concentration, spotting on common craft materials, developing the plate and OTC visualisation give some rough idea of the phytochemistry of a medicinal plant? Sceletium has in the past been analysed via conventional TLC [2, 3] and more advanced techniques [4] It took about 30 trials to find a readily available solvent system and semi-suitable paper - after many failed attempts, I found an 'etch art paper' that seemed the best I could find. I'm still to follow up with confirmation on silica TLC plates but it seems to give *a very rough idea* Sceletium tortuosum (unfermented) was used as a reference. This gives a main compound Rf = 0.5-0.54 on the craft paper. I particularly wanted to research D. bosseranum and Trichodiadema stellatum Method: Sample preparation: Samples were dehydrated at 70 deg. C and powdered. The samples were macerated in isopropanol. If no phenolic constituents were expected, NaOH q.s. was used to basify, otherwise basified with ammonia solution. The isopropanol solutions were concentrated to a small sample. Samples were spotted onto a plate, either a suitable craft paper, or silica gel plates. Acetone was used to elute the plate and I2 vapour (from OTC tincture) used as a visualisation technique. Crude technique - Craft Paper Note: this technique is limited in effectiveness and I suggest if you're that keen to play around with something like this, I'd suggest you just stick with silica gel plates to save A LOT of hassle. Delosperma bosseranum Sceletium tortuosum (unfermented) was compared to D. bosseranum. A compound with the same Rf as Sceletium was noted along with other constituents. Trichodiadema stellatum (syn. barbatum) Sceletium tortuosum (unfermented) was compared to D. bosseranum. A compound with the same Rf as Sceletium was noted along with other constituents. Mesembryanthemum cordifolium (syn. Aptenia cordifolia) This has been studied and seems to contain 4,5-dihydro-4’-O-methylsceletenone and 4’-O-methylsceletenone along with flavanoids, tannins, phenols, saponins, and cinnamic acid derivatives (and esters) The characteristic Sceletium constituent was absent in these but other different compounds were present. Will follow up with more conventional silica TLC which will hopefully have more easily reproducible results

I've been busy expanding on this research, hopefully it's of interest/inspiration to others: So far the research extends to: Citizen TLC Phytochemical Screening of Diverse Mesembryanthemums https://pdfhost.io/v/gugGrtnCj_ Phytochemistry of Aptenia https://pdfhost.io/v/dq6SpR9nM_aptenia Citizen TLC analysis of marketed commercial Sceletium tortuosum products: https://pdfhost.io/v/SVvI3PQwb_TLC_commercial_sceletium_produc Using TLC to guide discovery of hypothetical new Kanna substitutes https://pdfhost.io/v/A4u.08qVQ_kanna_substitutes_TLC Utilising yeasts to encourage the bioconversion of mesembrine-type alkaloids yeasts to encourage bioconversi | PDF Host Initial TLC study of an uncharacterised Sceletium ('Little Karoo') https://pdfhost.io/v/.ASjnTMdo_Initial_TLC_study_of_an_unchara Sceletium Chemotypes - Characterisation of a 'Superior Quality' Sceletium product sceletium chemotypes | PDF Host Reagent analysis of phytochemicals - application to Sceletium spp and Mesembryanthemums. Reagent analysis of phytochemicals - application to Sceletium spp and Mesembryanthemums. | PDF Host

Bought myself a new ally, a Magnolia grandiflora tree. The flower contains liriodenine, anonaine, dehydroremerine (0.52% total alkaloids) Leaf from the flowering plant contains anonaine, remerine, liriodenine and rutine (0.54 % total alkaloids) It also contains essential oils 0.58 % Anonaine, the principle leaf alkaloid displayed affinity of 0.8 µM, the same order as the reference compounds nomifensine (0.2 µM), but more potent than amineptine and dexamphetamine at DAT. The oxoaporphine liriodenine was virtually devoid of activity as a dopamine reuptake inhibitor. It also has affinity for 5-HT1A and α1 adrenergic receptor affinity. Although not overly potent, studies suggest they are α1A antagonists, as is demonstrated by the vasorelaxant responses. The flowers are edible and said to have an exquisite flavour and are used as a spice and condiment. My flowers were dried and aged on the plant so lost most of that but still interesting flavours. Volatile constituents are mainly monoterpenoids and sesquiterpenoids. Look forward to a tea from the fresh flowers. Interestingly, the crude extract of the seeds contains 10% 4-O-methylhonokiol. It is also found in the bark. This is a potent CB2 receptor ligand which readily crosses the blood brain barrier and attenuates memory impairment. In addition to anonaine, liriodenine etc, the leaves contain sesquiterpene lactones like parthenolide which has intriguing activity but low bioactivity. Please be aware that the toxicity of the leaf material is unestablished while the constituents are more characterised. Well the Magnolia flower tea was interesting tastewise maybe a slight subjective uplift. Something spiritual to it but I wanted more DAT/5-HT1A action. Chewed through a whole flower as tea. Wanted to develop a bit of a relationship with this plant, see if it could be a good functional motivational aid, so I tried 2 tsp dried leaf material on top. Struggling to find info on doses but the same alkaloids at 5-10mg/kg in mice exhibited antidepressant activity. For me, the upper alkaloid dose would be about 80mg alkaloids in human equivalent doses. Interesting resonance, seems somewhat useful for doing things. Soft energetic resonance, seems superior to lotus/lily. Not really stimulatory but functional it seems. 3 tsp of crushed dried leaf: need all the uplift I can get. There's something but it's not pushy stimulant wise, feels clean, a focusing energy but soft. Started another day with leaves 17g dried, ~ 90mg alkaloids. I had to have an early sleep on it, it seems to have some waves of calming sedation for me anyway. Then it picked up into something more 'wanna do stuff'. Followed that up the next day with 17g and I had quite a good day. I tend to find stimulants calming and de-scattering so results may vary. I do like the magnolia leaf at decent doses but I'm going to leave my experiments there, let my ally grow before I find it too useful. Wouldn't say it's going to make a magnolia crack but still interesting. If I find a large M. grandiflora, I might make magnolia leaf extract, the tea is quite unpleasant and it would be nice to have a concentrated extract. Anyone done any trials themselves?

I've been re-exploring this in my research lately. All in all, even I'm now hesitant to explore this one personally due to odd effects longer-term on lowering dopamine and the fact that it has not been widely used/marketed by others suggests there may be need for caution Exploring the Magnoliaceae.pdf anonaine-final.pdf I came to the conclusion:

I have Scutellaria lateriflora and S. baicalensis seedlings if they are of use to you (can spare one of each), just get them a bit bigger on the heat mat before they'd be good to send. I'll keep you in the loop. They tend to die back, the S. lateriflora in particular down here over winter so getting them a bit bigger on the heat mat will help them along Otherwise I've ordered from Skullcap seeds (happyvalleyseeds.com.au) Skullcap Baical seeds (happyvalleyseeds.com.au)

While the Sceletium has been showing continued promise for modulating mood and other dimensions, I've been experiencing significant and quite debilitating catatonic features for a long time and poor sleep quality but was personally hesitant to initiate the conventional lorazepam benzodiazepine therapy for catatonia due to the addictive nature of BZDs and past issues with addiction. Decided to try higher dose baicalin extract and akin to the rapid resolution of catatonia seen with a lorazepam-challenge, there was robust rapid acute resolution of the catatonic features, agitation and somewhat improved sleep quality. Just able to feel slightly chill for once. Very early days but it seems to be quite useful and also stabilising for one's mental state. The improvement of catatonic features was noted on second dose etc but as the features have been ingrained quite heavily, there's occasional return of posturing etc Subjective downsides: - waking up in the morning is harder, significant cognitive clouding etc (anything even slightly sedative does this to me) - reduced CNS arousal negatively impacts mental state The baicalin also shows diverse additional features over lorazepam that intrigue me and are relevant to my situation. Found about 1/2 tsp of 85% baicalin was sufficient S. baicalensis and it's primary active constituent baicalin has diverse pharmacological properties. In particular, baicalin seems to have promising CNS activity [1]. Antidepressant- and anxiolytic-like properties (the latter mediated through the activation of benzodiazepine binding site of GABAA receptors) Inhibits prolyl oligopeptidase dose-dependently, having potential benefits for schizophrenia, bipolar affective disorder, and related neuropsychiatric diseases [2]. Can potentially be used to treat dopaminergic dysfunction-associated CNS diseases (incl. neurodegenerative and ADHD). It's able to protect dopaminergic neurons and modulate brain dopamine levels, thus serving as a potentially effective novel treatment for ADHD [3]. In schizophrenia, addition of baicalin (1.5g/day) to atypical antipsychotics led to greater improvements in both primary and secondary negative symptoms than those treated with antipsychotics alone - seems to have efficacy for predominant negative symptoms and in improving cognitive function [4]. Able to facilitate remyelination in various models of CNS disorders and suppress neuroinflammation [5] Baicalin can: - pass through the blood–brain barrier - stimulate neurogenesis - promote neural differentiation and inhibit neuronal apoptosis - inhibit neuroinflammation and oxidative stress - promote CNS myelin repair Shown to be relatively nontoxic when given orally

Lately I've been comparing the subjective efficacy of S. tortuosum as an antidepressant vs high dose SSRIs and interestingly that has opened up a dimension where I've seen it's a personally effective tool for encouraging psycho-social-spiritual personal growth and deeper self-inquiry Case Study - The Subjective Clinical, Psychotherapeutic and Spiritual Benefits of Sceletium tortuosum in severe mental illness.pdf Full write up: The concept that beyond the antidepressant and anxiolytic effects with cognitive enhancement noted in clinical studies, there may be some merits for psychotherapeutic use has been suggested by Nigel Gericke where he states it may have benefits for • facilitating psychotherapy • facilitating meditative and spiritual states I've noted: - Prosocial and emotional enhancements - encourages a feeling mode, anxiolysis facilitates direct and open communication with others - Contact with the present moment as 'still', improved cognitive clarity and suppression of mind chatter opens a state more conducive to learning a more meditative state - Acute mood improvements suppress downward negative emotional spirals of anger, blame, self-hatred etc into a more accepting embrace of peaceful acceptance of the moment - Feelings of some elements of spirituality, eg embrace of more self-transcendent states, gentle ego-dissolution, positive emotions encourage a more open mental process of appreciating beauty, the uplift of emotions and cognitive fluidity can broaden-and-build mental states of openness to experience, more profound shifts in mental state can encourage consideration of the Divine in one's life It's been interesting simply freeing my way of feeling and thinking a bit, the Kanna seemingly serving as a mild empathogenic ego-dissolution tool that is dose-dependently gentle in action, which has clinical merits over more rapid and robust ego-dissolution seen with 5-HT2AR agonists etc (personally more in line with an empathogenic action), particularly for fragile mental states that may be susceptible to more pathological hallucinations. It's also very emotionally friendly as in it encourages a heart-centred way of thinking, feeling and being Some subjective clinical benefits I've observed in the reasonably short time period: Gradual but robust improvement in mood which is once again quite dose dependent. Greater cognitive clarity, reductions in cognitive complaints, intrusive lines of thinking and improved time that I can focus on tasks, improved receptiveness to the world around me, rather than being stuck in my own mind A sense of pleasure and enjoyment, currently fairly restricted to very simple activities like movement and dance, 'drumming', feeling rhythm more deeply but very gradually a return to enjoyment of more mundane everyday tasks, cooking, mowing the lawn This embrace of the now as more pleasurable, valued and meaningful has somewhat hindered the desire for more goal-directed tasks but I still feel it's personally valuable to have an improved hedonic baseline in the moment that is not so dependent on goal-directed activity Improved emotional tone and states of feeling over obsessive analytical thinking Reductions in sensorimotor stereotypies and aberrant ASD related behavious which are slowly being embraced by a more free flowing way of movement through life. Whereas I always felt held down by life, I've been able to hold my head higher and put my chin up and be more comfortable in myself and that is slowly reflected in my body posture Transient states of self-transcendence and spiritual moments, from embracing a more present moment way of thinking to even embracing an all-loving sense of something greater than me in the universe, or higher power particularly within nature. I've felt there be this all-encompassing sense of light in the darkness, the need to pray and hold myself in devotion to such etc. Robust anxiolysis and greater inner calm and peacefulness in my mind, rather than being at war with myself which is slowly reflecting in my ability to have more positive social relationships Reductions in positive symptoms - AVHs have drastically reduced in intensity (despite resisting conventional antipsychotics) from harsh, persecutory and denigratory to a generally more absent status and slowly less pathological self-talk has become softer, quieter and easier to deal with Reductions in agitation and catatonic posturing A sense of stronger healthier self-concept and self-empowerment, the ability to be more in control of my mental state rather than 'driven by pathology' I've found that quite often it's our mind's own rigidity and ego barriers that are constraining our consciousness to realms of pain and suffering. A heavily ingrained 'allegiance to pain and suffering' seems to be one of the significant cognitive biases that our brains can be pinned down into low states of consciousness by. By simply loosening those cognitive constraints in a more loving, gentle, kind and spiritualised direction, rigid loops of dysfunctional thinking patterns can slowly be loosened or literally blown away, freeing up new ways of thinking that may be less fear-based, pathological, freer, more loving and kinder to ourselves and others While there is the need to pathologise some aspects of mental functioning, too heavy an ingrained thought pattern of pathology and 'biomedical fixing' constrains you to a dimension where it is always heavy and dark. If you see the beauty, feel the love and peace, cultivate the compassion and kindness towards yourself you can seemingly slowly slay the demons in your mind - I like the line "the monsters in my head are scared of love". It's not an overnight process and it takes lots of repetition to stabilise a more positive growth mentality but it's worth it, and slowly that inner work has the chance to make life more easy to deal with each day I was inspired to create this "Devotion to the Heart and Light' by some of the experiences