WaterTrade you are at the gates of heaven a freedom from within when you desire the easy road just because you tire.
You honor god more by your unwavering inability to close you mind and submit to something you don't believe to be right.
You have taken the gifts that every soul has, but you choose to use them the right way....even though it tires you to your very mind and soul.
I believe there are three gifts from god that have enormous power to create or wipe things from existence. Two of these are for all of us.
1. the ability to reason and
2. freedom to make a choice based on that reasoning.....
3.......and the third is a power and state beyond our understanding it cannot be owned or used it is TRUTH
These are the very tools which allow you to rid you life of the things that are wrong/negative they are they keys to having purpose.
Tell me this.....when you come across something that is true does it not have a taste, a smell a presence like nothing else? I tell you it is instantaneous and more then recognition....it is a state of grace. You look for freedom then make your choices based on truth and you will carry no debt/no judgment and faith will reveal itself and have a new meaning.
Real faith is the freedom to reason and make choices without fear....there is only ONE way to do this.
And its simply because the truth cant be changed/ altered/ or lost and it doesnt need to be confirmed/justified it is absolute/whole and utterly unavoidable.....funny but the most powerful weapon in the universe cannot be used as a weapon.
The thing about the truth which ties it to faith and a state of grace is that it is absolute it cannot be created or destroyed and most of all it cannot be reasoned....it is not born of this world, its outside my ability to understand or even describe.
When you know something be true you cannot change it without substituting a lie and RIGHT THERE my friend there in lies the absolute power of god----->a state of grace.....and no one can own this power or deny it.
Because to change it you need to lie to yourself (and this simply isn't possible ever...NEVER)
Look you can try to choose to remove the truth but its too late the understanding cant be un-understood.
here is a thought to toy with:
it is a common belief that when you die you will be judged on all your actions (the goodness of your outcomes from using reasoning and choice )
I believe that the judge will be me and my shortcomings shall be sounded by truth in a permanent state of grace.
...and the penance for my deliberate wrongdoings....UNDERSTANDING without debt.
See i don't believe God will judge me as that is a function of man and to suggest that god the very thing i cannot fathom and now choose not to need to understand, has the same duties/flaws as myself would be on par with denying he exists. (not a conclusion that I can reach)
I believe i love god in a way i never thought possible, and its for this reason....
I understand that no part of my mind and soul can honestly pretend to understand, comprehend, evaluate, judge and then apply faith by worship of this pretense....you see to do this I have to deny the very gifts that i come to give my life purpose, and i simply wont trade that which has been evaluated in the presence of truth.
I love and honor god by using his gifts to fix the problems in my life
I love and honor god by using his gifts to love WITHOUT DEBT
I love and honor god by using the state of grace that gift of absolute power, to make good honorable decisions and be at peace because even if the decision i make is wrong and hurts many ppl, i can hold my head up and say I AM WRONG AND BUT I MADE THE RIGHT DECISION
So what has this done for me?
I make better descisions
I dont pass judgment anymore
I dont have guilt
I can love without fear
My emotions do not take the place of reason
My emotion no longer are the tools to make bad descisions justified
I have free'd myself of self abuse
This life owes me nothing.
I have embraced my passions not treated them like a dirty secret.
I can now look at a starving child in africa and not feel guilty for having more.
I stopped stealing responsibility from people and selling it as self sacrifice
AND MOST OF ALL i rejoice when i find i am wrong because at that moment i have become a better person and no-one can take it.
I have found that its the other ppl in my life that i need....they are the rewards that need no trade, they are shared without debt.
I have endured the pain of accepting that everything i believed was right....was a cruel lie that imprisons
I burn and destroyed my life with a brutality and a resolution, nothing remained untested not even the fear of having nothing and finding out i was wrong. I gave away $50K and didnt feel a thing, i quit my job, gave away all my cars and possions, I even rid myself of sentimental keepsakes
When i had finished i had come from married man with 4 kids, houses, cars $100 per year job....to alone and one suitcase (i kid you not)
When i started this ruthless destructive need to rid myself of the things and beliefs, it was absolute-->logic reason emotion fear were bridled and silenced.
This is where i found faith.....i had for the first time praised god and all i had was faith.
Do i believe i love god more now then i ever could have.....no
I love god with a freedom i never had before.....and real faith is choice by truth because faith by fear just doesn't taste true.
I think that i believe in god without devotion---->tells god i was honest and devoted to him, i challenged my faith without fear to love him better, to praise him by my actions not my fear and sacrifice. I had faith, and now i have strength i have love and i can share with others completely debt free, and rejoice when they point out a flaw in my essence they have just given me something i could not do my self.
But anyway....now i can live, i can breath, i can love, i can give more then you could steal from me
That beautiful hunger inside me now sings and i am free to chase it passionately.
WOW guess thats been needing to get out a while hahahah
PS forgot to add : the more i learn and grow the less i know