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Glaukus

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Everything posted by Glaukus

  1. Glaukus

    Microdosing Caapi

    Day 6: I woke at around 2:45 am today and have been awake since. Today was pretty good though. I got lots done, and was in a great mood. I'm allowing myself a couple of rums tonight. The dose went down like nectar this morning, again 60ml. I was expecting a gradual build up of effects, not sure why, but I think I may actually be experiencing some tolerance now. I had a pinch of snuff this afternoon and the caapi seemed to like me using it's ally tobacco, as I felt very good indeed. I think I have got into the habit of convincing myself I need the "other" things to get through the week when I have actually coped just fine without them. That's a good learning for me and a big step after 20+ years of relying on substances to help me at night to forget my problems and sleep. This is not a silver bullet that "cures" you in any sense. It needs to be coupled with the will and actions to do the work on yourself. But I think it's worth exploring further. And I will. I wont be posting daily, but I'll update this thread from time to time. I'll update tomorrow after the full 7 days is done as I intended, and might have some more insights to add, but I hope this is of some use as it stands. I have tried to be open and honest as much as possible. Happy to talk to anyone via pm that is interested in more detail that I havent posted so far.
  2. Glaukus

    Microdosing Caapi

    Thanks Eth. Yeah, as I said my job is pretty hectic, mostly because of my boss and another mental case I have to work with though. The teams I manage are all good people and I like working with them. Mushrooms scare the hell out of me. I should say though, its mostly Cubes that I have issues with. Subs and I get along fine.
  3. Glaukus

    Microdosing Caapi

    Thanks for that Ano, it saved me from a long post about much the same! I've not found sjw to be for me in the past, and I certainly wouldn't want to combine it with maoi/rima activity, even at low dose such as I'm doing. When I was younger, I was taking aurorix (moclobemide) and made the mistake of drinking a strong ephedra tea. It brought on a migraine the likes of which I haven't had since age 12. It was hell for a full 12 hours. Bad interactions with maois are no joke, trust me.
  4. Glaukus

    Microdosing Caapi

    Day 5: upped my dosage, it was hard to swallow this morning, I had often have a bit of a gag reflex when I first get up, the dose didnt taste bad, but my body wasnt liking anything today. Work was difficult. Not due to anything other than the fact it was a difficult, shitty day. But even still, managed to not drink alcohol again. No coffee this morning, bit of a headache to start, but went away after a while. I'm tired. Feeling low energy, and very much looking forward to a rest on the weekend. Dreams are still very intense, I dont think I've had so many nights in a row of such intense dreaming as I've had this week. So tired I'm off to bed.
  5. Glaukus

    Microdosing Caapi

    Where am I at now? Day 4: Less restful sleep last night, with a lot of dreams about inadequacy and frustration. Not quite sure what to make of these ones, or what action needs to be taken. I guess sometimes you just have to be patient. Still very clear dreams though. That's something I have noticed in the last few days. Dreaming is enhanced a lot. My dreams are usually chaotic jumbles of day to day life, which are not clearly recalled afterwards. Now I am really dreaming and I can remember every detail. I cut out the coffee this morning. Much better. No headaches or withdrawals, as I said I only have the one double espresso in the morning and that's it so I wasnt particularly concerned about leaving it out. I didnt feel like I was lacking energy or wakefulness because of it so I'll leave it out for the rest of this week until I finish. I was very stressed this morning, but I put my trust and faith in my ability to cope, and with you guys and the medicine on my team, who could stand in my way? I think I might up my dose again tomorrow to the original 60ml and see how I go. Now that I have a feel for integrating the feelings into my day, I dont feel so apprehensive about having them at work, but I do need to be careful just the same. I dont have the kind of job that I can just go and avoid people and situations, I'm on the frontline. Not too much else to report, I think that's a good thing though. Life seems to be pretty normal, but the good kind of normal, not the normal where I have a longneck as soon as I walk in the front door upon getting home. I'm not making any progress on my art project this week so far, but my days have been long. By the time I get the essentials done, and get a chance to actually sit down, it's around 10pm, and I'm exhausted so I have been going to bed instead. I appreciate all your messages, if I can help anyone out, please let me know. It's eye opening to see how many of us are suffering the same conditions in silence. Let's help each other and be supportive. Even here, where we are like minded, we dont always treat each other as well as we should. I think we can all heal ourselves if we have the right tools, it's not up to anyone or anything else to do it for us. Sometimes we just need the path to be illuminated so we can see it, and that's where the plants can assist us, but at the end of the day, we need to do the work ourselves. Jeez, listen to me, like I have the answers all of sudden! Words come easy, good actions are what's needed and I have a long way to go.
  6. Glaukus

    The Random Thread.

    Hotel Womb The Church Volcano pierce the air, ashes block out the sun. Down in the lair, well I met her there With a price for everyone. I paid eighty dollars for this wedding ring, I couldn't take it off if I tried. And the cactus sure tastes strangely sweet As it goes down inside I dream I'm safe in my hotel womb. Soft and soul made, it's a wonderful room. I wish I'm back in my hotel womb. Slip through the crack, to that wonderful room. Sudden voltage in the night, with a rainforest girl. As we float downstream to the Amazon River Where the black waters swirl. I say, why are you people wearing those masks? I say, can we be reconciled? She says the mother of the storm has to roam the sky Searching for her child. Morning comes at last, and she's lying by my side. She's got the face of the widow who keeps following me And the body of my bride. I say, why are those buildings swaying like trees? I say, can we stop for a while? She says, can't you hear the city that's hidden in there? It's just another mile.
  7. Glaukus

    Microdosing Caapi

    Day 3: some difficulty getting to sleep last night, but again, super vivid dreams. These ones had meaning to me. I committed serious bodily harm on my nemesis. Clearly I have let this fester too long (6+ years). I think the only course of action is forgiveness, but it might take some work on my part to be able to move past this chapter. Might need a ceremony or ritual of sorts. Same dose today, again, almost frenzied energy levels. I crashed around 3pm though, and really felt spent, like I could barely keep my head up. Today was a very stressful day, I hate audits, and I have another one coming next week. Feeling good now. I dont drink a lot of coffee, I have a double shot each morning and I havent cut that out this week. I suspect the caapi is interacting with the coffee and causing the speedy feeling, so I might miss the coffee tomorrow and see if there is a big difference. Thats a big step for me, no coffee. It's not something I am looking to give up long term, but while I am experimenting, I might as well see what happens.
  8. Glaukus

    Microdosing Caapi

    Day two. I had a very good sleep again, full of vivid dreams. Not quite lucid dreaming but not far off either. My Monday mornings are usually full of dread, and today I still was very apprehensive, but at least I didnt have a stress spew today. Drank around 40mls this morning - dosage calculated in the comment above. I felt inspired after reading Horus' comments, and I think that's half my battle at the moment. I havent been motivated to extend myself in any way. I've been mentally lazy and undisciplined. That's something to work on. Today felt very different, like I was capable of change. They say a leopard cant change it's spots, but a cuttlefish can... It's hard to separate any possible effects from the medicine from what may just be a burst of psychic spring cleaning brought about by my will to change, either way, I am feeling it. The dose seemed to be in the goldilocks zone, I was seriously energised all day. Not yet focused energy, but I'll get there. I'll stick to the same again tomorrow and if I feel up to it, maybe whatever is left of my brew will be consumed Friday night to close the loop. Horus, next time we meet up, I'd like to have a deeper chat. Wont go into it here, but it's related to my little disappearing act at the last meet. I feel honoured that you are my friend and have my back in this endeavour.
  9. Glaukus

    Microdosing Caapi

    That's very dry vine MG. I have taken a lower dose today as I thought yesterday's may be more than I could usefully manage at work. I think I have found the sweet spot today, I am humming with energy. I'll post more later, but around 7mg/kg of body weight/day is my estimation. I feel vibrational changes and new mental stances are possible already. I just had a callback about a job too, so things are happening!
  10. Glaukus

    Microdosing Caapi

    Your words and guidance are an inspiration as always Horus.
  11. Glaukus

    Microdosing Caapi

    OK day one. I had a very good night's sleep and I started the day with a positive feeling. I'd rate my overall anxiety and depression at around a 3.5/10 (0 being none, and 10 being totally incapacitating). Had my dose (60ml equivalent to approx 7g of vine) at around 9:30 and decided to go for a swim. I started feeling the caapi strongly as I arrived but a swim in the cold ocean focused me. I felt pretty good, but definitely feeling a little strangeness in my day. As the day progressed, I felt the caapi more and more, it was a heavy feeling in my limbs, and a little darkness was creeping into my mood. That might be due to the Sunday afternoon blues that I usually feel. The thought of going back to a workplace I despise always brings me down. I notice that while I am doing anything physically active I feel good, but as soon as I stop I start to feel a little down again. I'm still feeling the caapi strongly now. I honestly wasnt expecting it to be as strong as it is at the dosage I took. I dont think this is going to be easy, but I want to stick it out for the week, as I believe the positive effects may accumulate after a few days. I think I may need to titrate my dose down for the weekdays, Mondays are hard enough without dealing with these odd sensations. I think I'll halve tomorrow's dose and see how that goes. I'm also not sure whether morning doses will be better than evening doses, but I'm sticking with the morning for the time being. I plan to cut weed out entirely this week, at least until Friday night, and I am also planning on cutting alcohol. I dont drink heavily, but I do drink pretty much every day. That's one of the habits I want to break. I have fallen into a pattern of starting to drink beers every weekend in the daytime, as I do my gardening, or whatever else I am up to. Sometimes I just sit in the garden and drink beer. I dont think there's actually anything wrong with that, but I dont want to make it my standard weekend. I am also hoping to start getting up earlier again and just going for a walk before breakfast. I used to run a lot, but knee problems have sidelined my running lately. Other lifestyle changes I am making are looking for a new job, and also need to finish an art project I started a while ago. I actually managed to apply for some jobs yesterday. My job is a major factor in my recent poor mental health, and the sooner I get out the better. I know I have to do a lot of work on myself, I am probably rambling a bit, but just trying to capture my thoughts as to how this medicine is affecting me, so either humour me or ignore me! Onwards.
  12. Glaukus

    Acacia Floribunda

    I'm only saying they're desirable to me visually, it's not a scientific endorsement!
  13. Glaukus

    Acacia Floribunda

    I personally like trees that have a super crusty margin on the phyllodes. You'll know what I mean when you run your finger along one. The crusty red stuff intrigues me. I need to investigate if this stuff has any particular properties...might be a good summer project!
  14. Glaukus

    Acacia Floribunda

    Red colouration indicates the plant is experiencing lockout of P, often in cold weather, but new growth shows this too. I don't think there is any reliable visual indicator for obtusifolia. They range from shorter fat phyllodes to narrow elongated ones and the same tree can vary at different times. Generally speaking, yields are reduced after heavy rain, during flowering and in winter. YMMV.
  15. Glaukus

    Happy Birthday Glaukus

    You guys made my day! I'm getting to spend the day gardening so all is good in my world.
  16. Glaukus

    eBay/Gumtree finds

    @Gimli, you're back bro, long time!
  17. Glaukus

    Carolina reaper seeds

    Hi all, I'm looking for seeds for a friend, if anyone can help me out thatd be great. I can trade or buy. Thanks in advance
  18. Glaukus

    The Random Thread.

    Yohimbe bark up the shnoz, mmm, fibrous.
  19. Glaukus

    don't cha love it when...

    When you've had a shit week including hospitalized parents, but you come home and she gives you a nice present...
  20. Glaukus

    Skin Disease, please help?

    Normally a systemic treatment is absorbed through the foliage, but cacti need to take it up through the roots as they don't have stomata. I don't think your cut is beyond salvation, but it needs to go to the ICU.
  21. Glaukus

    Flat earth debate

    Story of my lyf TI. That's way too woke for my puny psyche.
  22. Glaukus

    Flat earth debate

    So, assuming the earth is flat, and we're on one side, what's on the other side? How thick is this pizza we live on anyway? Surely we could drill through to the other side with some kind of thunderbirds mole vehicle and find out easily enough? Should we start a gofundme? I reckon if we can get Richard Branson on board it'd be a goer. He strikes me as someone who'd be keen to drive this mole vehicle too...
  23. Glaukus

    Skin Disease, please help?

    Yeah, sulfur works only topically by contact. Something like Yates "anti rot" which contains phosphorus acid is probably your best bet. I don't want to be pessimistic but once a plant gets a fungal infection inside the prognosis is not great ime.
  24. Glaukus

    Skin Disease, please help?

    I'd say it's fungal, the orange colour indicates this. Get some systemic fungicide.
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