ace1928

Maybe if I put my advice here you wont be able to throw it back in my face.

So, you're early twenties I guess.  Life not meeting your expectations?  Welcome to the club, population: everybody that carries expectations.  Next thing youll be getting old, maybe youll find a better perspective or maybe your outlook will slide, but count on getting older, and if your were smart at twenty then pencil in 50% wiser at 30

Why do you need to try to stay sober?  Its your life bro, the gift of life is that its yours.  In my experience, daily alcohl/drugs usually has a long term negative effect on opportunities etc, in your case you are succeeding about as much as any young person could be expected to so sensible dose/frequency shouldnt jeopardise your career, im sure there are techniques to defeat a uronwe THC test so that shouldnt stop you. The only guarantee in life is the right to choose from whichever shitty options present themself, like working around the clock in young adulthood to hopefully assure a better future career (not quite panning out for every graduate anymore.  Easy debt = Glut of students = higher course fees = Glut of graduates burdened with debt at the beginning of adulthood and nothing to show for it)

Youve made it this far, i suggest you take whatever steps ensure employment in your field of study and dont become one of those debt slave degree holders with a menial job. the payoff, which should improve life satisfaction, is a few hours of each day and a few days each week that are yours, and that will be as good as it gets, sixty hour work weeks plus study is a heavy load and its hard to imagine that isnt impacting your mood.  Unfortunately I think your generation were born to inherit the world as its financial systems enter a chaotic and damaging period which is all the more reason to press that advantage  because its one thing to disagree with modern life as a concept, its another thing to actually suffer the slings and arrows of shitty fortune.  Thats all waterboy meant, from the perspective of somebody in a real dilemna, complaining about your life ticking all the basic boxes is stupid.  I'll take a mental crisis over a physical one every time.  Can you imagine if life DID have a meaning?  Lame!  Why even play?  For a medal? Better to just be thrust, literally just shot into an unfamiliar world, when you slide out of the Hole youve already decided this is the worst thing ever.

 You experience and react to countless chaotic scenarios, decide for yourself who you want to be, how you want to influence society and history from a point of near total ignorance, you bleed on the thing, your dreams are crushed upon it, often people lose all hope, cause, optimism, they declare the world a . your life is an artwork like the sequence of expressions of a rollercoaster passenger or rather a big colourful pattern of vomit splatters. You cant go back in the tunnel anymore than mum would let you back in hers. you have to play, you have to leave a big unique spew, and try as many have you wont understand what is happening or why.  Despite the illusion of slow and orderly years history is lucky to be understood at any time much less during its unravelling, same with your life, nobody will comprehend it including you, in fast forward you probably look like a monkey stumbling around moronically with a stunned expression, because you are surfing a chaos tidal wave in each moment but somehow you, me, everyone perceives it as humdrum.  Im not having a go but merely illustrating a point here, would your prefer if you could press a button for boredom and a troupe of clowns from nowhere entertains you until something else interests you?  The point is life doesnt exist to satisfy your impulses but it allows some avenues for you to satisfy some of them for yourself.  Anything else would produce weak character.  The ability to forego personal enjoyment (to benefit another or to benefit yourself later, for instance) is vital. now, you work 60 hour weeks, work earns my respect and an impulsive person who seeks immediate benefit wouldnt do that, but to some extent mammals must delay pleasure, its part of life, if you cant do it you will harm your own interests.  Life cant all be highlights, that would be cool but if you had that life you couldnt cope with the slightest dissatisfaction.  Working hard to achieve modest ends is very respectable, I have 1 billion times more respect for the lowliest worker than a thieving banker.  One pays his way and then some, the other is a parasite.  We'd all enjoy being the parasite but it would never be enough.  there is meaning and humanity in humility, and there is emptiness in satisfaction, so this applies to boredom and its perceived cure.  Having an elixir on tap that can immediately raise your mood just teaches you that an elevated mood is normal.  the reward system seems to functioin modern socety nearly as well as it did Hunter gatherers!  It still works anyhow, but throw in a cocaine habit and all of your other priorities lose their reward sparkle.  The cocaine will be awesome though, maybe i will have heaps of cocaine but only tonight

Tldr keep being successful, fuck life but ima still get me mine, worry about how shit life is when youve lived more, calling it at 25 years is judging the book by its cover plus you acknowledge that youre a miniscule meaningless event in the universe,  yet another indicator that your perspective may be lacking